by A. E. Murphy
I try to sit up but pain slices through my middle. It aches, burns and stings, but it’s not unbearable.
My memory is a little hazy. I remember dinner, Elle, the charm, but then… I’m not quite sure. Pieces come back to me, but they don’t make sense. Eloise’s dad, a knife, blood, Elle crying and pushing something on my body that hurts like hell.
“Hey.” Eloise’s voice travels through the fog between my ears. I turn my head and look at her. She looks terrible. “I’m so glad you’re awake.”
A hand squeezes my other shoulder. I turn my head that way and take in the sight of my dad. He looks as terrible as Elle does, if not more so. “How are you feeling?”
I blink and try to sit up again, but both he and Elle grab my shoulders. “Not yet,” Elle says softly and runs her fingers through my hair. I move into her touch, closing my eyes as I savour it. “You shouldn’t move yet.”
“What happened?” My voice sounds croaky and rough.
“We’ll talk about that in a minute.” Dad says as Elle holds a straw to my lips. I sip the cold water, which tastes like ash. “Call the nurse.”
Elle nods and presses something on the wall. A low beeping sounds through the room and seconds later the door opens.
A woman in white checks my vitals, asks me numerous questions before allowing me more water and calls for the doctor.
When he leaves, telling me the shit he’s done to my body to fix it, my dad finally has enough time to lay it all on me.
When he tells me that Elle’s dad stabbed me, it all comes back, bringing a migraine with it. Elle presses the button for morphine, which flows through a tube and into my arm. My migraine vanishes and the pain numbs, but so do my thoughts.
“The police will want to speak to you,” my dad says softly. “They’ve already spoken to us. As far as you can remember, you tripped on one of Elle’s shoes and crashed into the table. It was an accident. We were all there having lunch and it happened quickly.”
“But it wasn’t an accident,” I spit, wondering why the fuck he’s defending the man who almost killed me.
“It was an accident, because if it wasn’t an accident, you’ll be held accountable for your affair with a student.”
I let out a growl. “That’s bullshit.”
“This way you get to keep your job, your family isn’t shamed and Eloise doesn’t lose her place at Cambridge. Not only will investigations happen into your relationship, but her coursework handed in to you will be written off as badly graded due to favouritism. She’ll have to retake History and redo her exams, setting her back another year.”
I keep my mouth shut and nod. He’s right. I might not get arrested because of her age, but both of us will be ruined.
“Mr Blackburn won’t say anything because what he’s done will have him put away for a long time.” Elle lets out a whimper. I hear the guilt she feels in that one choked cry and I squeeze her hand to soothe her. This isn’t her fault. What her dad did isn’t her fault. My dad continues. “As for your relationship, after today you’ll stay away from each other. Elle will go home and get ready for her holiday and act as if all is well before moving to Cambridge and you will remain a teacher who doesn’t put his hands on another fucking student.”
My migraine returns as I glare at my father. “That’s my decision to make. That’s Elle’s decision to make.”
“And then all of this lying we’ve done today will have been for nothing.” He hisses, gripping the bed barrier with both hands. “Right now, Isaac, your mother needs you. What you and Elle have probably won’t even last. She’s young and stupid and you’re older and even more fucking stupid. If you continue this charade, you’ll ruin us all. Not just yourself and Elle, but me too. My career will be on the line. Your mother will be sent to a home if I don’t get my pension. Is that what you want?” He doesn’t stop. Even seeing the grief on my face, he doesn’t stop. “If you truly love each other, you’ll wait a few years.” He lets out a disgusted laugh. “I honestly can’t believe I’m having to explain this to my thirty year old son. You should know better.”
He’s right. I should have, but I didn’t.
Elle weeps silently beside me. I know she agrees with my dad too.
“You can stay until end of visiting time, Elle, and then you’ll go home.”
We both look at each other. I lift my hand and wipe the tears from her cheeks with the backs of my fingers. She kisses my palm and closes her eyes. “I’ll go now.”
“No,” I say, gripping her fingers tightly. “Not yet. Stay a little longer.”
When she nods I feel relief flood through me. It doesn’t last though. My exhausted body shuts down before I can stop it.
When I wake up she’s gone and so is my dad. The only people in the room are two officers in uniform waiting to question me.
Chapter Thirty One
Eloise
I pack my final bag and carry it down the stairs. My mum grabs it and takes it to the car.
“Elle, baby, please don’t do this.” My dad pleads. I know he’s sorry for what he’s done. I know, because we spent four hours last night talking about it all. I told him the truth about everything. I told him about me and Isaac. I told him about the sneaking out and the love we shared. “Don’t go.”
I ignore him and grab my keys and jacket. Hayley waits by her car, her eyes concerned as she and my mum talk in hushed tones.
“Elle.” My dad grabs my arm, but I pull away angrily. “I’m sorry.”
“I won’t forgive you. I won’t ever forgive you.”
“See it from my side…”
“I tried, but I can’t.” I shake my head. “You can’t stop me from leaving, you can’t stop me from loving who I choose and you can’t stop me from hating you.”
“You don’t hate me…”
“You should be in prison.” My voice is monotone. I hear it and I feel nothing. I’m scared that if I let myself feel I won’t be able to stop myself from breaking down. “You should be locked away.”
“And I’m grateful that I’m not.” He pulls me into his chest. “I love you. I was only trying to protect you.”
“As always.” I roll my eyes and pull free. “Just… stay away from me. I can’t even…”
His pained eyes look away as my mum gently guides me to the car, whispering her pleas for me to think about what I’m doing and stay. I ignore her too.
Hayley climbs into the driver’s seat and waits for me to climb in beside her. I do so and rest my forehead against the window.
We back out of my driveway and it’s not until she pulls over near the lavender field and turns to me that I break down. I tell her everything too. She cries with me, laughs with me and hugs me. She only shouts at me once for not trusting her, but forgives me immediately after her outburst.
“It’ll get easier,” she says, hugging me tight over the console. “And I’m just the person to help you through it.”
Isaac
Susanna has gone, replaced by a seemingly nice woman named Philippa, who has a coffee habit that reminds me so much of Eloise. She drank way too much of the stuff, just like this woman does.
My dad has spent the past few weeks looking after me and my mother with the help of Philippa.
I’d like to pretend that I’m feeling better, but I’m not. My wound is healing okay; it only twinges now and then if I bend too far or move my body in the wrong way. It’s my heart that’s failing.
Eloise hasn’t called; she hasn’t texted; she hasn’t emailed or made a single attempt to get in touch. I understand it, it’s just too painful. This is why I haven’t tried to contact her either.
My dad told me she left home, but he doesn’t know where she is. I’m assuming and hoping that she’s staying with Hayley. He also told me that her father offered him thirty thousand in compensation, which he took and put towards my mother’s fund.
I despise her father for what he did, but part of me can’t blame him. He loves his daughter and I’m not sure I’
d do differently if I were in his shoes and my daughter was sneaking around with a teacher eleven years her senior.
It doesn’t mean I’m ever going to like him. It just means that I don’t hate him for what he did.
Unfortunately, because I’m feeling better, I start work again tomorrow. I’m not looking forward to it.
There’s only six weeks left before we break up, but there’s no excitement. There’s just an empty feeling inside of me that I can’t fill with distractions, games or even drinking.
I can’t stand it.
I’d take being stabbed in the stomach over this feeling any day.
I just want to see her one last time. I want to hold her, smell her, sink into her. I need it, but I can’t have it. I need her and I can’t have her.
My dad’s right. If we truly love each other, we’ll wait two years. Two years is nothing really, but it may as well be eternity. She’ll have moved on by then and I’ll still be what I am now - an empty vessel with a broken fucking soul, like some cliché love song.
Christ I miss her.
The days go by and they’re filled with gifts and cards from faculty and student alike. I smile and receive them graciously, but my heart isn’t in it.
When school breaks up, my days just roll together. I stand with the crowds on the day they hand out the A Level results and pray for just a glimpse of the red headed girl who I think I might love with every fibre of my being.
Her mother is the one to pick up her results and it’s then I remember that Eloise left for France two days ago.
I bet she is sat in a French café somewhere, eating pastries and tasting the many delicacies that France has to offer.
I envy her freedom. I want to be there with her and yet I’m stuck here in a town I hate and in a job I loathe.
I love being a teacher, but that was when there was a point to it. Making people happy and helping them get to where they wanted to be in life seemed like an amazing thing to be a part of, but now it’s just an empty distraction.
I don’t have friends here. I don’t have freedom. I love my mum and I want to be there for her, but not while I’m this lonely. Extremely fucking lonely.
I just don’t see the point in any of this anymore.
I’m losing my mind.
When I go home, I’m shocked to find Eloise’s mum standing outside my parent’s house. She holds an envelope in her hand and gives it to me without saying a word before leaving.
I read through it and go inside, my mind set and my heart swelling.
It’s then I leave a note for my dad and rest it against the mantelpiece.
Eloise
“I really wish you’d come with me,” Hayley sighs, holding me tight.
I shake my head, looking forward to my weekend alone. “You go. Have fun and leave me to mope and explore in peace.” More like in pieces.
“You’re in a foreign country, you don’t speak a word of French…”
She’s not wrong. “Then maybe I’ll be fluent by Monday. Just go. I’ll see you soon.”
“My mum is going to be pissed at you.”
I know and I hate that, but… “She’ll get over it.”
We hug again and she stares at me, pouting as she climbs into the waiting black vehicle.
I sit on a bench nearby and watch as the car vanishes around the corner, leaving a thin trail of white smoke behind it.
I let my head loll back and inhale deeply as the rays of sun heat my skin and hopefully give me a half decent tan.
Paris is such a beautiful city and of course I’ve enjoyed myself, but not nearly as much as I should have. I thought this trip would be the thing to get me out of my slump, but it hasn’t. I’ve been surrounded by honeymooning couples and lovers young and old everywhere we’ve been. It’s been hell at times, seeing people feed each other across the table, hearing them laugh and hold hands before kissing.
Everybody is in love.
Everybody is with someone.
Everybody but me.
My thoughts drift to Isaac and I wonder if he’ll ever forgive me for leaving him and not even calling. He’d be here with me now if my dad hadn’t found out and attacked him. I hope he’s okay. I don’t even know if there have been any lasting symptoms. I don’t even know if the stab wound will leave any kind of long term issues.
I feel somebody sit beside me but I don’t look up. I don’t feel uncomfortable. The people of France are wonderful. Some of them hate tourists, but most are friendly and welcoming. I’ve met so many people who I adore.
My eyes remain closed and my brain falls blank. I shut it off with the hope that it’ll cut off the hurt. It succeeds, but only for a second until I feel a hand grab mine and slide something onto my ring finger.
I pull away, angry at the unwanted touch, and glare at the culprit. “What the hell, dude? You don’t just…” My heart stops and my world falls away when I find myself staring at a mess of bright blonde hair and beautiful deep blue eyes, eyes that have haunted me for too long. I’m dreaming.
I’ve fallen asleep on the bench and I’m dreaming.
My fingers grab the flesh of my thigh and pinch hard. Ouch.
With parted lips I inhale a sharp breath, still not believing my eyes. “You’re his French twin we didn’t know about, right?”
His beautiful lips tilt up at the edges as my eyes blur with tears. “I hope not, because I’m about to kiss you and that would be awkward.”
I let out a laugh and watch as he slides closer to me. He cuts a dashing figure in his white shirt and khaki shorts. “Thank God.”
He stills, his head tilting as his hand gently caresses my cheek. “What?”
“You’re not wearing flip flops. When I saw the shorts I got worried…”
A bark of laughter escapes him and in less than a second his lips are on mine.
We’re kissing, on a busy street in the middle of France.
The kiss is gentle, passionate and desperate. I try to push my emotions onto him. I need him to know how badly I need him, how much I’ve missed him and how happy I am that he’s here. I feel the same come from him.
He pulls back and brings my left hand up to his lips. It’s then I notice the foreign object wrapped around my finger. It’s stunning, a blue stone surrounded by a cluster of smaller diamonds, all shimmering and sparkling in the midday sun. They sit on a thin gold band that fits me perfectly.
My mind doesn’t register what this means, not until he says the words. “I’m marrying you this weekend.”
I suck in another breath and my hands start to shake. “Are you sure?”
His body shakes with silent laughter. “I’m sure.”
The tears in my eyes spill over. “But, your job, your life.”
“I’ve quit.”
Oh my god. “I can’t let you do that. I’m not worth it.”
His laughter isn’t silent this time. “You are. You’re everything. Give your heart to me.”
“It’ll be hard, we’ll have to… commute so much and I can’t leave University and you can’t leave your mum.”
He places his finger to my lips, “My dad said that if we were smart and in love we’d wait a couple of years and it would all work out.” Our fingers lace together on my lap as the finger on my lips pushes my hair from my face. “The way I see it is, if we’re smart and in love, we’ll be together until you graduate and we’ll make it work. We’ll commute; we’ll visit; it’ll be hard, but it’ll be harder letting you go and never having the guarantee you’ll come back.”
“There’s no guarantee you’ll want to stay with me.”
“I’ve never loved anyone the way I love you.”
I giggle. “You’ve never loved anyone, period.”
“That too.” He brushes his lips over mine once more and looks deeply into my eyes. “So, will you marry me? Will you elope with me? Will you follow me right now and say a bunch of vows and then let me take you to bed as the woman I’ll one day die with?”
Will I?
“I guess so.” I giggle when he pinches my arm, but it’s silenced quickly by his tongue pushing into my mouth.
“I love you.”
“I’m pretty sure I love you more.” I state resting my forehead against his.
He kisses my nose and pulls me tighter to him. “We have a lifetime to debate that.”
Yeah, I guess we do.
“What the hell are we going to tell my parents?” I ask after a brief moment of silence.
With raised eyebrows he asks, “What the hell are we going to tell mine?”
TO BE CONTINUED…
Destruction (Book Two of the Distraction Trilogy) Coming September 18th 2015.
I’m going to ask for your forgiveness over the large gap between releases. At the time I’m writing this I’m thirty weeks pregnant with my third and final (debatable) child, due May 28th 2015. This is the main reason I’m pushing the date so far forward as even though, ‘Destruction’ is half way to the finish line, I don’t want to promise a date that I just can’t finish by and let everyone down. Please bear with me, I love you guys, you’re the reason I write each day but sometimes real life gets in the way (and nappies and bottles and three hours of sleep a week).
I really hope you have enjoyed reading Distraction as much as I loved writing it.
I promise that if I finish Destruction before September (fingers crossed) I’ll release it early. So keep checking my Facebook, just in case as I’ll be keeping it updated as much as I can.
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
I'm now 24 and I’ve been writing since I could hold a pen in my hand! I love to write, it’s my passion, and I never stop. In fact I love to write so much I have started over one hundred and fifty different books before finally completing my first ever novel 'A Little Bit of Crazy' which I published in May 2013 on Amazon for Kindle. I was grateful when I received feedback as it helps me be a better writer.
