The Bathrobe Knight

by Charles Dean

  “Your Majesty, we believe the threat has pulled back. Given the news about the 8th Legion, our intelligence says that it was most likely the same Black-Wings threatening Barkton that were used in defeating our forces near Valcrest.” Ashcroft, the very Councilman who was supposedly against the idea of moving the 4th Legion was the first to offer reason against his decision. He may be a good schemer, but he is a terrible actor.

  “You believe Barkton to be 100% safe then, Ashcroft?”

  “I believe it is relatively safe.”

  “So there is or isn’t a threat to the area? Why, if there is no threat, do you want to leave the troops there instead of aiding Valcrest?”

  “It is as Your Majesty says: there is still a possibility of a threat. I was only reporting on the Black-Wing activity as I’ve heard it.”

  “Mmm. So you gentlemen want me to leave Barkton for the wolves and save Valcrest.”

  “Your Majesty, we don’t want to leave any town for the wolves. We just advise you to see reason and take as few risks as possible,” Wilhelm spoke, this time in his best sympathetic voice while eyeing Ashcroft for being so stupid just a moment ago. What? Did he forget his lines?

  “Hmm. Well, you’re in luck then if you were worried. Valcrest will be fine. I don’t plan on leaving either city for the wolves. I have seen this tragedy coming and taken measures to save them both,” he said, for he did indeed have a plan this time.

  He didn’t know what the Council was up to after the 8th Legion’s demise, but he knew they weren’t playing the same game he was anymore and that he was going to need troops. Their plans always came at the expense of lives. That’s why he had, since the moment of the Red Eye’s arrival, organized the 7th Legion to secretly clear out the so called ‘threat’ that was supposedly forcing the 6th Legion to overcommit to the small town of Kallafan on the north border. It was a risk doing it. If the White-Horns had seen them or the Council had gotten word that Oghan was defenseless, then thousands would have died. But they didn’t. The plan had actually worked, and now he could move the 6th Legion farther south and defend Valcrest.

  “You see, this time I’ve got good news,” the King began, about to tell the Council of how he had defeated their plan when he was interrupted by clamor outside the chamber.

  *Bang!* The doors to the chamber room flew open and a Guard, one the king didn’t recognize, came in flanked by his own escort. What is it now? More drama? Another ‘surprise’ event? A Messenger that they’ve planned to make sure we send troops to Valcrest?

  One of his personal troops spoke first. “Sir, it’s urgent news about Valcrest.” Of course it is.” I think you’re going to want to hear this.” Of course I do. You couldn’t wait until we were in private to bring me bad news?

  “Fine, go ahead,” the King groaned, repressing a facepalm. “Tell me what the news is.”

  “Sir, earlier today a strange man in a green Robe claimed he defeated the White-Horn legion east of Valcrest. Combined with the reports from the Scouts and the massive number of Double-Bladed Iron Axes he sold to the Valcrest Blacksmith, we can absolutely confirm the report.” The room went so quiet.

  “You said the entire legion of White-Horns was destroyed?” This can’t be, wait . . . a man in a green Robe?

  “Yes, Sire, and with the Axe sales, we have enough iron now to reinforce an entire legion,” the guard said, smiling happily as he stood at attention.

  “The man in the green Robe. Was he tall? Broad shoulders? Red eyes?” It can’t be him. I sent that man out with just a Spoon, and he killed an entire legion?

  “Yes, Sire, that’s the one.” While the King smiled everyone else in the room broke out in murmurs.

  “Guard. Thank you for your service. Make sure to let the people of the town know that that man was sent by me--as witnessed by everyone in the court during the weekly scouting reports--to destroy the legion, and he did so with only a Spoon. Let them know that as long as that man resides in Valcrest, no harm shall befall the town from which he cannot protect it and that the King has done this out of his love for the people of Valcrest.” The King cringed as he made the proclamation. Speeches like that, especially when they were lies, made his stomach churn.

  What kind of rotten man is the Council turning me into? Though it isn’t entirely a lie. I didn’t summon the hero to the Kingdom, but I did send him to the front lines. “You see, gentlemen, this is why we don’t have to abandon either town. You wanted a legion to do what my man has already done. You would leave Barkton undefended and risk its death for nothing. Have you no faith in me? Did I not tell you the other day that I had summoned a hero to deliver us from evil? Trust in your ruler, for I spend my days protecting every member of this Kingdom. This meeting is over. You have pointlessly wasted enough of my time with an irrelevant squabble,” he said while getting up and heading to the door. The stunned Councilmen didn’t follow. They probably had more schemes to make behind his back.

  As soon as he had gotten out of sight of the Council, he turned to the bodyguard on his left and whispered as quietly as he could, “Go fetch our new Messenger. Have him meet me in my study as quick as you can and come with him. We have work to do. Oh, and make sure that Guard gets paid 10 Gold Pieces for his timely arrival. That type of luck needs to be rewarded.”

  Adjusting his Crown, he hurried his steps and headed for the study. This red-eyed fellow had saved him twice, but he couldn’t keep relying on him. The Council would be sending assassins to kill him soon enough, and it was only a matter of time before they cut his throat while he slept. The only thing to do now was to stall their efforts and thwart their plans. What kind of monster is he to kill an entire legion of White-Horns with just a Spoon? He must be a monster, a fiend of the Spoon.

  The problem is gone now, though, isn’t it? The champion with the Spoon killed them, and the problem is gone. He just killed them, and it went away . . . all you have to do is kill them.

  Kass:

  Kass logged in and picked the “log in at bind point” option. It was available to players who hadn’t logged out in combat and had stayed out of game for more than an hour. It was kind of a cheater’s way to warp back to town if you were in a dungeon several hours away. None of the players had really needed to use this trick before because most of them had only farmed within half an hour’s reach of their starting towns, but this time she was happy for it.

  She had bet a lot on killing the Minotaurs and gone with the 8th Legion against the advice of most of the top players. “Minotaurs might not have armor or high health but they can kill you in one or two swings, and the smallest aggro group is going to be at least three Minotaurs.” It was a fact that had turned out to be true as she had been forced to watch entire groups of NPCs and PCs decimated by the wild Axe swings. She had known it was a calculated risk, but even divided 10 or 100 ways, the EXP had been worth it. The contribution bonus from killing ‘enemies of the Kingdom’ certainly didn’t hurt. The sheer number that were present on the field at any given time had been more than enough to tempt even some of the freshest lowbies out to the front lines. Especially Kass.

  She smoothed her white Dress and found the nearest Blacksmith to sell her goods at. 1600 Gold for the lump sum of her ridiculous number of Axes. The Minotaur loot wasn’t great, but it was definitely much better than you were supposed to get in a party of two this early on. This probably makes me the richest girl on the server! I wonder what kind of magic Staves I can get, or if I can get any accessories to boost my Damage. I should go find Darwin before I start shopping though, I bet that clueless old man doesn’t even know what accessories are. Tiqpa Map.

  She brought up her map and looked for the blue dot with Darwin’s name on it to show where he was. Huh? He’s in the tavern? Why is he still there after turning in the quest? He isn’t one of those fully immersive role-players who spend hours on a video game talking to people in taverns instead of playing, is he? Ugh, if he’s in the tavern all the time, who will I leach experience from?


  As she made her way to the tavern, she couldn’t help but overhear bits and pieces of gossip from the other PCs hanging out in town on the way. “Hey, did you hear what happened to Greg’s group? It got toasted by ‘Flesh Wound.’ It’s like the tenth group that’s been slaughtered by them in the last day.”

  “Yeah. I hear they are all around level 30 now. I bet they came here just to get some cash though. A full week of grinding alone wouldn’t have helped them afford that much black dye.”

  “Nah. I don’t think that’s the case. They really take pleasure in it. You should have heard what they did to one of the runners.”

  “The mage? I did. It’s only a VR, and the pain sensors are extremely dulled, but that poor guy is already booking it south. Doesn’t want to risk it twice.”

  “They’ve definitely got everyone looking over their shoulders now when they leave town, that’s for sure. Its making it hard to get a good group for farming. No one wants to risk farming for too long for fear of getting rolled out.”

  Crud. I knew when the 8th Legion got toasted and the Guards stopped patrolling for Red Names, things would go south, but I didn’t think it’d happen this fast.

  “Maybe we could try to get a group together and do a dungeon. If we log out at the end and wait an hour, then the PK’s won’t be able to get us because it’ll respawn us in town.”

  Kass kept her ear trained for more rumors as she made her way through the market, but all of them were the same. Flesh Wound this and Flesh Wound that. Even the NPCs were showing signs of fear. It wasn’t until she was almost at the tavern that she heard anything different.

  “How did that guy get a Bathrobe? I didn’t even know they sold that item in the game. He even had matching Slippers.” Ugh! NO! He better not try to keep that Bathrobe forever. I don’t care how strong the set bonus is, I’m still scarred for life after that slip yesterday.

  When she opened the door to the tavern, though, all the anger she was building up at him for still having a Bathrobe on faded away. He was staring blankly at the empty plate in front of him with a face that somehow reminded him of her dad’s when he first heard that her mom had died.

  “Did you get any sleep last night?” she said, taking the seat opposite him.

  “No, I found out that I can’t sleep,” he said, not really making eye contact with her.

  “I know what you mean. If we hadn’t stayed up so late, I wouldn’t have even fallen asleep.”

  I don’t know what he means, she thought, his face telling her that she was so far away from saying the right thing that she might as well have been speaking a different language.

  “So, about the quest. I figured I would wait on you to turn it in,” he said, changing the subject as quickly as he could. Something is definitely wrong with this guy. A part of Kass really wanted to help him out, but she had learned enough about leaving people alone with their problems in the past. She thought about her mother’s death again.

  “Yeah, let’s go get that done. By the way, do you want to go shopping afterwards? I just got a ton of money from selling all those Axes we looted yesterday.”

  “Maybe. I didn’t see anything but Staves and Arrows in the Blacksmith’s shop. One of those Staves might be an upgrade for you?”

  “Oh, heavens, no. Those things might as well be used as door stops or furniture props for all the use they would be to a Mage. We have to get our weapons from the enchantment or magic shops or they won’t do anything for our spells. Don’t you know anything about items?”

  “No, not really. If we’re going, let me pay up first.” Darwin said as he got up and went to the Bartender. As soon as he got up, Kass noticed that underneath the plate there was a piece of paper hidden with only its edges sticking out. Secret! She looked over at Darwin chatting in an overly friendly manner with the Bartender and decided it was safe to sneak a peek at the paper.

  Race: Unknown **No Red-Eyed man before me.

  Class: Unknown

  Locked: Attributes, Sleep, Log out, Class Promotion

  Respawning?

  I was able to party with Kass but Kass is a PC human. According to what I’ve discovered the party system currently prevents humans from partying with other races. Of the other races White-Horns, Black-Wings have been seen to party with each other.

  PCs don’t require food. NPCs require food. I require food. PCs don’t require sleep. NPCs require sleep. I don’t require sleep. PCs can respawn. Can I?

  After a series of questions I’ve realized that most of the NPCs aren’t aware that this is a game. They seem to be capable of making mistakes and I can’t tell the difference between their emotions and the emo--

  Kass kept glancing back and forth between Darwin and the page as she read the notes. When she saw that he was finished and heading back towards her, she slid the piece of paper back where she had found it as quickly as possible and hoped she hadn’t been noticed. Is he comparing himself to a NPC? No Red-Eyed man before him? What are you up to, Mr. Darwin? What’s your real secret? She wanted to ask him right away, but she couldn’t. She had discovered the paper by snooping when he had clearly hidden it under the plate. If she brought it up right away, he might suspect her, and she still needed him for the EXP.

  “Ready to go?” he said, trying and failing to sneak the piece of paper out from under the plate without Kass seeing. Kass smiled to herself, Too late! I’m on to you, Mr. Bond.

  “Yeah, sure. Let’s go find Captain Elmont and turn this quest in. Maybe if we’re lucky we’ll hit 30, right?”

  “It was really nice talking to you, Darwin! Please come again!” The NPC Bartender called out as Darwin left. He and Darwin must have had some amazing conversation. That was the first time Kass had seen him do anything other than pour drinks, take orders, and tell people to pay up. Has anyone even tried talking to him before, though?

  “You too, Peter, and I hope your son puts that Axe to good use. You have no idea how frustrating it was getting it.” He gave an NPC a gift? Doesn’t he know they aren’t actually people?

  “I’m sure he will. Have a good one!” As the Bartender waved them goodbye, Kass couldn’t help but think something was wrong with the whole scene. She wasn’t alone in that thought either. A few of the other PCs in the tavern gave Darwin and the Bartender, apparently named Peter, a strange look.

  When they got out of the tavern, Kass tried to pry a little bit without sounding too obvious, “So, you actually talked with the NPC?”

  “You don’t talk to NPCs in video games? Who will give you the quests?” he asked, glancing sideways at her as they walked. She was sure that he was smirking as he asked it.

  Is he trolling me now? “You know what I mean. He said you gave him an Bxe? Why would you give an NPC a gift?”

  “Why do people buy toys for their dogs?”

  “That’s not the same thing. Dogs are real. Dogs can feel emotions.”

  “Is it any different than an NPC who is programmed to feel emotions? He seemed pretty happy with the Axe.” Darwin had stopped making eye contact during the conversation and was looking around. “Ah! There’s Captain Elmont.”

  “You know him too?”

  “Of course. He is in the military, and I was at the only bar all night. Kinda seems obvious that I’d have met him.”

  Oh yeah, these games are supposed to simulate reality. “So why didn’t you turn in the quest then?”

  “Because I didn’t have my Mage to protect me if he warped me to some random battlefield. I might trust my Axe some, but I definitely feel more confident with an Ice Princess at my side.”

  No one just warps people to a battlefield randomly, you idiot. Your sweet talk won’t make you any less suspicious. “You’re just being silly. You don’t need me around to protect you from the big, old, scary, bad men” she said, emphasizing the last part with a little girl’s voice.

  “If you say so.”

  “I do. Now turn it in, scaredy cat!”

  You have been invited to Darwin’
s Party. Would you like to Accept or Reject?

  Woops! I totally forgot to invite him. Accept! “Good thinking, Bathrobe Knight. After all, we can’t have you not getting EXP from all of my kills.” Kass started to wonder if she was poking him too much. His grumpy face had returned again.

  “Elmont. How are you?” Darwin opened the conversation with the Captain up before Kass could say anything.

  “What, boy, didn’t get enough of my company last night at the tavern?” The cantankerous officer had been busy organizing some of the other NPCs when Darwin and Kass interrupted him.

  “You know how things are. I thought I would introduce a struggling old man to a young girl, seeing as how you haven’t been able to meet one lately.” Darwin smiled at Kass while he said it, a smug ‘if you troll me, I’ll troll you’ smirk back on his face.

  “Oh, oh! Boy, you’ve brought me one above my paygrade. I don’t think I can match up to a girl with curves like that or a face so pretty. Bring me one a little more simple and a little less beautiful next time. I know my limits!” Ha! This old man knows his place, Kass thought. Even so, he had still made her blush more than any of the guys who had hit on her during her final year of college. “Anyways, Darwin, what do you got for me? Gonna consider joining the ranks?”

  “No, we’re here for a quest turn-in,” Kass said, deciding she didn’t like to be talked around too much and needed to take control of the conversation.

  “Oh yeah, I knew you looked familiar. You’re the girl who joined up with the 8th Legion before it was lost, may they rest in peace. The quest was to kill Minotaurs. Let me check your quest record to see what I owe you.” He paused for a moment as he looked at the two of them, and then his jaw made an attempt to connect with the floor. “Little missy, Darwin, I can’t thank you enough with words for what you’ve done. We all hated those White-Horns after what they did to the 8th Legion, but for you two to risk your lives to do this much. Thank you. This is all I have to offer you two, but please take it with my sincerest gratitude.”