The Bathrobe Knight

by Charles Dean

  “What, what makes you think we are a couple? Who would ever want to date this weirdo?”

  “Oh, I didn’t know you didn’t like him. I’m sorry. My mistake. Anyways, how do you like the Bathrobe, Darwin?” The merchant gave Darwin a sympathetic look.

  Darwin, who stood dumbfounded by the exchange, finally replied, “Oh, yeah, it’s great. You did amazing work. I don’t think I will ever be able to repay you.”

  “Nonsense, that’s what the Coins are for. Now, I believe Elmont told you about our silver mine issue . . .”

  “Right, right. I’ll go take care of that now! Have a good one,” Darwin said, walking out the door without waiting for Kass.

  “Hey! I was still tal--don’t leave without me!”

  “Oh? But I’m just some weirdo.”

  “Good, so you know.” Kass smiled at him, almost as if she were sticking out her tongue too.

  “. . .”

  “Fine. You’re not some undatable weirdo . . . it’s just I wouldn’t date you.”

  “Who says I would date you either? This is a video game after all. Who dates someone they met in a video game? Anyways, we’ve got to get you to Level 30, and we have to get this town a silver ore mine.”

  “Alright, I wonder if I’ll get a Class promotion at 30,” Kass said, the mood finally feeling light again.

  I’ve been wondering that too. When and what will be my Class promotion?

  Maddock:

  The soft crinkling of well-cropped grass being trodden upon was the only sound that marked the stranger's passing. A find coat of dew coated the ground in the predawn morning causing stray tendrils to cling to the sides of a pair of tan Boots. Well worn, comfortable, and as inconspicuous as the rest of his garb. Nothing of the man's appearance gave either hint or indication of the man's intentions. Nothing he wore or the way he carried himself would give anyone a reason to give him a second glance if he were to pass through a large crowd.

  Working his way to the top of a small grassy knoll just outside the town of Valcrest, he lowered himself into a crouched position and surveyed the scene below him. It had been growing rather quickly as of late as more and more players had chosen it as a bind point in order to gain access to the easily farmable mobs in the surrounding areas. The town’s positioning gave it perfect access to a variety of mobs whose levels ranged up into the mid-twenties. As a result, the town seemed to have prospered. Almost thrived, even, despite the rumors and varied reports that the Human race was struggling as a whole. By all accounts, their war against the White-Horns and Black-Wings had been a losing effort. The King was even reported to have almost completely emptied his coffers in hiring out NPCs to fight for them in the last battle.

  A small wind kicked up and over the rise causing the man to wrap his heavy Traveling Cloak a little tighter around him. This late at night--or early in the morning depending on how you looked at it--the town was still shrouded in darkness. It was too early yet for merchants to be hawking their wares in the market or craftsmen to begin working the forges within their various shops. There were a few small explosions of light around the center of the town where the bind point was located indicating that a few players were still awake and screwing around. Somewhere below him the sound of a Dog momentarily barking drifted up towards him before settling itself down again. Otherwise, everything sat silent, stretched out below him. Even the rowdiest of the town's bars had kicked out their drunkest of patrons and closed their doors for the night.

  Taking a deep breath of cool night air and slowly exhaling, the man watched his breath slightly fog up the air in front of him. It billowed out of his nose and mouth and rose up to circle around his head in a cloud before disappearing upward into the air. He carefully considered his options. He could either move forward or go back. Simple choices in life. Choices were always simple: yes or no, backward or forward, right or wrong. Consequences were the hard part. Having to deal with the results of one's actions and what came next. Watching how it affected those around you. Living with the knowledge that it was your choice that brought you here. That's what complicated things. Choices were the easy part.

  Raising a hand up above his shoulder, he waved forward with his hand, the motion indicating that everything was clear. It was also the signal for the rest of the group that waited down below to join him on the top of the hill. Out of the darkness he could suddenly hear the clangor of steel weapons as they bounced against Armor, metal on metal. The soft creaking of leather accompanied it as the group slowly made its way forward. The man never took his sight off the city below him, his eyes constantly dancing back and forth across its expanse looking for any signs of life.

  "You're ready for this, then." The voice was low and quiet behind him. It wasn't a question.

  Maddock nodded in response anyway from where he still sat in a crouch. "Choices are easy," he thought to himself as he rose and began walking down the rise and toward Valcrest's main gate at a quickened pace.

  As he approached the large wooden gates of the town, one of the two Guards in Chainmail with Spears standing duty approached him, blocking his path. “Greetings, citizen. What is the nature of your visit to Valcrest?”

  Maddock slowed to a stop before the Guard and reached up to pull back the hood of his cloak revealing the face of a Human. The dark stubble on his cheeks showed that he hadn't shaved lately. It was hard to tell whether it was the beginnings of a beard or a scraggly five-o’clock shadow.

  "I'm here to kill you and all the merchants in the city. I plan on completely emptying out the shops of any useful materials, looting all the Coin from the town's coffers, and disappearing into the night without ever being caught." He grinned broadly as he said it, showing a perfect row of teeth.

  The two Guards exchanged a look between them that Maddock caught easily. Before the Guard who had approached him could turn back around, he slammed the heel of his hand into the Guard's chest, knocking him backwards, staggering off balance. Maddock seized the Spear from the Guard's outstretched hand, turned it backwards, and rammed the butt of the weapon into the man's face sending him to the ground unconscious. Taking two quick steps forward, he flipped the Spear around as he went and lunged it business-end first into the throat of the second Guard before he could react. The body thumped as it hit the ground with a slight rattle of the Chainmail.

  "Consequences," he thought to himself as he used the Spear to smash out the lanterns hanging from either side of the gate, casting the area into darkness. "That's the sign. Point of no return." He turned back to finish off the first Guard before he could awaken and cry for help.

  Turning back to the town, he shoved the gates open and sauntered inside. The town was still cloaked in darkness and no alarm had been given. Despite the hour, it was easy to follow the path right through the center of town towards the merchants’ quarters. Like all towns built up without thought, it was easy to pick apart the layout with what little scouting he had done from the hill above. He vaguely remembered someone calling him crazy for agreeing to raid an actual town without properly scouting it first. But they were all the same. This was a cake-walk, not a siege.

  Behind him, he could hear the sounds of his Guildmates passing through the main gates now. He pulled the hood of his cloak back up over his head and stopped to wait. The party quickly approached him and slowed to a halt. A small figure with obvious curves, despite the dark Robes she wore, stepped forward. The massive black Staff she carried with her was even taller than she was. A gnarled black wood embossed with flakes of gold curled upwards till it ended in a dragon's skull. Two dark rubies that seemed to suck light out of the darkness, rather than reflect it back, sat embedded in its eyes.

  "Elaine," Maddock softly spoke, "I'm leaving it up to you to deal with the scrubs playing around at the bindstone. I know how well you get along with others. Try not to make too much of a mess. Remember, we don't want to burn the place down. Not yet, anyway."

  The small girl practically cooed as she set off towards the squar
e.

  Turning to the others, he said, "As soon as she drops a spell the whole town will know we're here, so try to make it quick and get into position before then. I don't want to spend all night fighting my way out this place if--"

  Maddock trailed off as a thunderous boom shook ground. He could feel it in his chest and braced himself for the accompanying rush of air he knew from experience was coming next. He could actually hear the wooden buildings groan in protest as boards shook and window panes rattled as the gust rushed by.

  Turning towards the square he caught sight of the last half of Elaine's spell. A massive pillar of fire rose up from where he knew the town bind point to be. It quickly rose up above the roof tops before coalescing into the form of a massive winged Serpent. Turning over and over upon itself in the air the shape seemed to take on a life of its own, soaring upwards and casting a nightmarish glow upon the surrounding blocks of buildings.

  "Damn her," Maddock growled. "Let’s go! Move! Sword!" he shouted, taking on the voice of a commander leading a battle he was sure would come now. A burly Minotaur quickly passed him a massive Two-Handed Sword and then then charged off down the street with the others quickly following. Ahead of him, he could see the Minotaur unstrap his own Double-Bladed War Axe from his back as he charged towards the town square. Above him, he could see the fiery dragon turn upon itself for the final time and begin plummeting towards the ground at a frightening speed.

  "Brace!" Maddock shouted. The group unanimously slid to a halt and threw up arms to cover their eyes and noses. The dragon crashed into the bindstone, sending barrels of flame pouring down the adjacent side streets. Rivers of ash flurried in the flames’ wake, driven by the tremendous wind generated from the spell.

  Standing up and moving into the square he could see Elaine's small form crouched over the charred form of a dead player, looting its corpse. She was quickly joined by the rest of the group who made quick work of relieving the dead of their goods. A fountain nearby hissed steam upwards into the night, its waters completely evaporated in the aftermath of the massive fire spell. Small fires still burned in various places throughout the area, and he was sure at least one building would soon catch fire as well. The walls of all the structures facing the square were charred black beyond recognition.

  "Seriously, Elaine?" he asked as he trotted by her.

  "They should have been wearing fire resist!" She giggled in response.

  "Xane! Bear!" Maddock shouted, turning towards the two towering Minotaurs who had just finished looting the last of the dozen corpses that lay littered about the space. "You two stay here and camp the bindstone. Don't let anyone who respawns make it out. The last thing I want is a bunch of newbies bind rushing us over and over. Everyone else with me!"

  He turned and ran into the merchant's’ quarters with the rest of the group following closely behind. "Elaine, which Blacksmith's shop did you purchase those Axes at?" he asked as he ran down the street.

  She quickly veered off from the group and stopped in front of the door to a shop. Placing the head of her Staff against the door, he could hear her mutter a few words of power, and the door flew backwards off its hinges. She took a step back and bowed slightly with a wave of her arm gesturing inwards.

  "This girl and her theatrics," he thought as he stepped into the shop. The rest of the group continued on outside, and he soon heard the battering of other doors as they went to work looting the rest of the shops.

  Stepping into the shop, Maddock was surprised to find a burly Blacksmith staring at a smoldering door which had come to rest behind his counter. The artisan's look quickly changed from one of shock to anger as he saw the man forcibly entering his workplace.

  "I've no idea what yer playin’ at, comin' into mah shop in the wee hours of the morning like this, but I won't be havin’ it!" He grabbed a large Hammer from where it sat nearby on an anvil. It was clear from the size of the Blacksmith's arms and chest he had spent many long hours pounding away with that tool fashioning weapons.

  With a yell the Blacksmith rushed forward swinging at Maddocks head. Not quite expecting this sudden turn of events he was forced to duck under the other man's swing and side step further into the shop. The area was too small to properly wield his massive Two-Handed Sword, so he was forced to drive it tip first down into the floorboards and draw a Long-Knife from his belt instead.

  The blacksmith turned and swung wildly, catching Maddock on his opposite shoulder with what felt like a crushing blow. He hadn't heard any bones break but that didn't mean much. The resulting force from the blow drove him back a step until his back was pressed up against the counter.

  He quickly ducked down under the Blacksmith's next swing and stabbed at the area above the man's knee. The knife easily cut through muscle and tendons, severing the man's ligaments. The Blacksmith roared in pain as he wrapped his massive arms around Maddock's body from above, clearly intent on crushing the life out of him if he couldn't first beat it out.

  Maddock struggled against his grip but it was no use. The Blacksmith had spent too many hours pounding away at his forge, and his grip was too strong. Getting his feet back under him, Maddock suddenly shoved forward and threw their combined weight against the Blacksmith's bad knee. The two went over backwards into a heap and Maddock rolled free towards the door to the shop, quickly coming up into a crouch with his Knife in hand.

  The Blacksmith lay dead, still clutching his Hammer. His head had been split open as he fell by the blade of the Sword Maddock had left planted in the floor. Maddock walked over and wiped off the blade of his Knife on the dead body before returning it to his belt. Planting his foot on the face of the dead Blacksmith, he gave a quick tug and pulled his Sword free to a sick sucking sound. "Consequences."

  Glancing around the shop, it was easy to spy out the shop's Coin box. He quickly gathered all the Coin from it and began the process of looting all the weapons and materials he thought would be useful from around the shop as well. Outside, he could finally hear the sound of fighting now. "The town must finally be waking up."

  Walking back into the street and turning towards the center of town he was greeted with a grisly sight. It looked like most of the town’s inhabitants hadn't been as prepared as the Blacksmith was. Bodies littered the street. Most of them were half clothed, and few of them looked like they had even tried to put up a fight. Piles of charred remains gave him a good indication that Elaine had taken out more than a few of them. Up and down the street, buildings were starting to give up to her unholy fires. Flames were starting to burn on several roof tops and smoke was beginning to billow out from the doors and windows of several others. It probably wouldn't do enough damage to raze the buildings entirely, but it was definitely going to cause a mess.

  Maddock couldn't help but smile to himself as he walked back into the center of the town. The area around the bindstone had become a kill zone that no one was going to make it out of alive. The charred black ground was a desolate backdrop to a blood stained patchwork of blood, bodies, and discarded weapons. Flames from the burning buildings cast an eerie flickering glow that bathed the area in a Hellish light.

  The two massive Minotaurs, Xane and Bear, had clearly been proficient at camping the bind point. The pair was now happily dancing around the broken bodies of players who had yet to wait out their respawn timer, taunting them as they did so. Off to the side of the square closest to where they had originally entered, several others of his small cadre had were quickly piling looted goods into the bed of a wooden wagon.

  When he was planning tonight's raid, he had never intended to let things get this far out of hand. Raiding into the heart of a player-controlled city was something no other Guild had attempted so far--at least as far as he knew. That's part of the reason he had wanted to lead the raid. The Guild was far from starved for cash or resources. He had no doubt that the small company was probably as rich as many of the larger Guilds playing the game.

  The problem was that there were only so many mobs a
man could kill without being bored. Who could possibly want to stray from zone to zone and camp to camp all day long killing mobs? The AI was exceptional. There was no doubt about that. No fight ever proved to be the same even against the same mob type. In the end, however, who remembered the farmers? There weren't signs erected over buildings proclaiming who donated the most to build up a town. There were no statues built to Zergling No. 132, who helped win a battle. No one ever sang the ballad of "The Man Who Spent His Time Killing Bears in the Newbie Forest" or "The Guy Who Finished His Quest First." So why bother? The way Maddock figured it, you could either spend five hours farming mobs or five minutes farming the farmers; and, so far, their farming efforts had paid off far better than anyone had expected. "Plus this way I get to listen to them scream," he smiled to himself again.

  A tall figure wrapped in a heavy, black cloak with the hood drawn noticed Maddock taking in the scene and quickly detached itself from the group that was loading items into the borrowed wagon. Walking towards him, the archer was careful to step around the broken remains of dead NPCs that weren't going to disappear. Coming to a stop in front of Maddock, the archer leaned casually on his inky black Bow.

  "Looks like you got into a bit of a scuffle."

  "Hah. Not really. Blacksmith wasn't as willing to part with his Coin as willingly as some of these others seemed to have been."

  The archer laughed. "Hasn't been much of a fight, really. Most of the townsmen trickled in either one by one or in small groups and we cut them down pretty fast. None of the players have figured out yet that they can wait out their death timers and respawn at the same time, so they haven't even put up a proper bind rush yet."

  "What scrubs," Maddock laughed shaking his head, "I can't believe it was this easy. What happened to the rest of the Town Guard?"

  "Oh, your favorite little pyromaniac has them trapped in the barracks. We found a couple of wagons near the tavern and used one of them to block the doors before they could ever get out. Elaine lit the building up, and we just left them there. Once we realized we might actually make it out with more loot than we could carry, we hauled the other one back here and began filling it up." He jerked a thumb over his shoulder indicating the wagon that was looking mostly full now. "We cleaned out every bit of gold, ore, or metal we could find. I doubt there's a useable scrap or decent weapon left anywhere in the town."