by Mia Ford
I headed downstairs to see him in the kitchen with platters of chicken and vegetables on the counter, smelling delicious. I walked over to get plates and glasses, taking them to the table automatically as I took in the majestic view with a smile. Perry followed with one of the platters, and I grabbed the other before I took my seat at the end of the table and Perry at the other. It wasn’t a big table at all, meant for the two of us when we didn’t have guests, but there was room to sit beside one another. He chose not to do that, and I took the bottle of wine that he’d opened for us and poured a glass, something that he typically did. I sipped as I watched him load up his plate without eye contact and longed for the closeness that I was accustomed to.
Where was the balance that I craved? Where was the relationship that I wanted with him so badly?
Perry seemed to relax as we ate, asking me about my tests as he seemed to grow more comfortable with me as the moments passed. I admitted that I was certain I scored a good grade, as I often did and he seemed pleased as he asked me what my plans were after graduation.
My degree was in graphic design so I had a lot of places I could live while doing that. I also minored in Journalism, since that style of writing always fascinated me as well. I felt that it gave me a lot of options when I chose it, even though I wanted to be here with Perry for the rest of my life.
“I’m not sure. I suppose I’ll find a job and learn how to be a real adult,” I answered lightly as he frowned. “I could work anywhere, actually. I have the internships with the best firms in the area as experience, right?”
“You can do whatever you dream, Caroline. Anything.” Perry smiled at me, and I forced one back. “Taking those internships that last years of college were smart on your part. You have experience in both of your fields, and you could work at a firm doing design while you did some freelance writing, if you chose to. Though I don’t want you to work too hard,” he added as something crossed his face.
“Like you do?” I teased him as our gazes locked for a moment.
“Exactly like me. I used work to cope when we lost your parents, and I think I could have made better use of my time. I feel like I ran away from it,” he said in a rare moment of honesty.
“We both did the best that we could with what we had. I love you for all that you did for me, gave me…it was perfect and what they would have wanted. Dad worked a lot too, and Mom was always taking on a writing project that pushed her limits. It’s in my blood to work hard, I think.” I wiped the tear that slid down my cheek as I kept my eyes on his face, feeling vulnerable in this moment. I wanted to tell him that I loved him in ways that were wrong but they felt so right. I wanted to say that I wanted to be the woman that took care of him and made him happy in every way. “Perry…I could never express my gratitude to you properly.” Though I could, in his bed or mine. I wanted to learn every inch of his sinful body and what made him come the hardest, thoughts that warmed my face as I took another gulp of my wine.
“You do every day, Caroline. I love you, too.” He told me as I stared past him at the window to clear my mind of the carnal thoughts that were filling it. Did he?
We cleaned up together as we always did, though I found myself playing back our conversation. I’d tried a few tactics in the past to test Perry’s feelings for me, with Colton being one of the bolder ones. He was the bad boy at school, and every girl wanted him. I had to admit that there was something sexy about him though I was just using him as a decoy to make Perry jealous. Colton came over for dinner a few times, and we went out for a couple of months once I sank my claws into him. He wasn’t a deeply intelligent guy, but he could hold a conversation with my guardian, even though I listened to Perry speak more than my own boyfriend. How sick was that?
Colton was used to women giving into his needs and slowly started to pressure me to sleep with him. I assumed that he was a good kisser, though I always went back to wondering what Perry’s mouth tasted like when we were together in those moments. I knew deep down that I couldn’t give Colton what he wanted and once Perry seemed to express that he was merely concerned with my getting hurt in the relationship, I quietly ended things. Colton moved on quickly, and I didn’t care. I was never interested in him, and I tried with other guys since that is what friends seemed to be doing in their lives.
I found myself paying attention to what Perry did as a reaction to all my attempts. Jealousy was a game played well by teenage girls from what I could see, but he didn’t seem to respond like the guys my friends liked in school. Perry was strict in his reactions, never letting on that he knew what I was up to, just looking on as he warned me about what assholes guys could be.
It was just what Dad would have told me, but Perry wasn’t my father. He was the center of my being. This was so very complicated.
Perry
I played back the image of Caroline on her bed that day, sleeping soundly with her hand draped over her thigh. She wasn’t naked, but I saw her curves and pale skin more than I needed to, stirring something inside of me. She was beautiful, just like her mother. I knew from the scent in the air and the way her lace panties were twisted just a bit that she was making herself come at some point that day, something that I wanted to deny but couldn’t. Caroline was my niece though not by blood, and I wanted to see her as an innocent girl, not someone that felt lust and desire the same way that I did.
I loved to watch a woman make herself come. It was that way in person with a close intimate partner as well as a choice in viewing porn, and the idea made me hard as I stepped into the shower. Did Caroline do that for a man, perhaps that punk ass kid from high school? Did he know what she sounded like when she came on her hand or even wrapped tightly around his cock? Fuck…I reached down and stroked myself under the hot water as guilt flooded me. “I’m sorry, Brandon,” I whispered as I gripped tighter and closed my eyes. “She’s so fucking beautiful.”
I wondered how she did it as I moved my hand hard and fast. Was she a clit girl or did she fuck herself with her fingers? Oh, fuck. I jerked and sprayed the wall with my release, taking deep breaths as I gasped her name. This was wrong, so fucking wrong. I felt the waves of pleasure continue as I reminded myself that she was my niece and that I was her guardian. I was here to care for Caroline and send her into the world as a strong woman, not to fuck her. God, I wanted to right now. I finished in the shower and cleaned up, drying off as I looked myself in the mirror.
I went back to when she was a baby, sweet and full of laughter. I was young then, fucking women left and right as I watched my friends fall deeper in love even though they were so close to my age. Could I find that?
I spent more time with Caroline as she grew, loving her intelligence and wit. Even as I kept sleeping around town, I never found a woman my age that I respected as much. I started to believe that my standards were too high, even though I lowered them when Caroline was living with me and I thought that she needed a woman in her life.
They always seemed to like her as a person, though not our relationship. They were jealous of all that I did for Caroline, wanting the attention for themselves. She came first as if she was my own daughter.
She wasn’t though, something I knew as she approached her late teens. Caroline was beautiful, and her level of maturity only made her glow more. She had a lot to offer a man, and now it hit me that she knew that. I dressed in shorts to go downstairs for some water. The house was a three-level home with a lot of space. Caroline had the floor just below me with her big room and bathroom, and I had a room in a similar size. There were three guest bedrooms on the first floor as well as a large gym and office for me. I had a lot of money, but I wasn’t the kind of man to be cocky about that. I built my house with my needs in mind, not adding garish things such as bowling alleys and theaters. I could go out and do both of those if I chose to, allowing myself a ninety-inch TV in my sunken living room to enjoy movies and television on. That was enough since I had little time for more than catching the scores of the day.
&nbs
p; I liked seeing Caroline watch movies in there, the fire going as she snuggled under one of the many blankets. I was an admitted bachelor before she moved in and Caroline made me add some softer touches to my home. She spent a lot of time in that room; studying, reading, or watching television even though I expected her to spend a lot of time in her bedroom. It was generously sized and overlooked the forest below us, something that I loved in my own room. Caroline preferred being downstairs, maybe feeling like she wasn’t alone or something along those lines. I spent more time in there when she came to live with me, working on my laptop a lot with the background noise of whatever show was on the set.
It felt like a family, something that I never would have asked for the way that I received it. I was torn between my grief and the fact that I liked her being here with me.
Now, I’d just jerked off to Caroline in my shower. What kind of monster was I?
I pulled a shirt over my torso, something that wasn’t typical of me. I preferred comfort, and I always thought that I kept that at an acceptable level with Caroline before now.
I swallowed thickly when I saw her sitting at the table dressed in those damn leggings and a more fitted t-shirt, reading a book. I knew that she went to school later today since it was Thursday and I walked over to pour some coffee. I planned to work from home today but considered changing my mind with her home. I couldn’t allow this to take me over. This was my house, and I had the control to handle this situation, looking at her as she tucked a curl slowly behind her ear before glancing at me. “Good morning.” The look in her eyes made me wonder if she knew what I’d done before I pushed the absurd idea out of my mind. It wasn’t possible.
“Morning. Sleep well?” I asked as she smiled slowly and nodded.
“Yes, very well.” She looked into my eyes. “How about you?”
“Great.” My answer was clipped, and she frowned before she looked down at her book again. Shit. I needed to get control of myself. “I might go into the office for a bit. Do you need anything while I’m out?”
“No, thank you.” Caroline didn’t look at me as she spoke and I walked over to her slowly. I kissed her hair, wishing it was innocent as I walked away to dress for the office.
I had pulled on slacks and a button up shirt before I walked out to my black Yukon to drive into the city. I resented myself for needing to leave my paradise as well as Caroline. Hell, I even resented Brandon and Mila for a fleeting moment as I pulled onto the two-lane road to head to the freeway.
Work had always been my escape, and now I found myself giving into that all over again.
I walked into the building and sat at my desk as I turned on my computer, well-aware that my assistant poked her head in to stare at me. She knew that I tried to force myself not to work my life way, being an employee for ten years now as well as a friend. There was never anything more even though she was thirty-one and closer to my age as well as attractive. She even had the intelligence that I appreciated, but I was never attracted to the petite raven haired woman that was married for a year now. I expected her to be pregnant anytime, something I thought would suit her well. “What are you avoiding today?”
“Nothing, Stella. I just wanted to get some work done,” I replied as I gave her a smile.
“You live in the most beautiful place in this state, and you can’t work there? What gives?”
“I come in on Thursday sometimes. I come in on the weekends sometimes,” I defended myself as her dark brown eyes narrowed in a sharp gaze. Damn it, she knew me well having seen me go through some less complicated relationships. “How’s Michael?”
“The best hubby in the world,” she gushed as I grinned. “That’s not getting you off the hook, though, Perry. You’ll talk one of these days.” She was right in that I probably would. Stella knew Caroline well and liked her a lot, though I wasn’t sure if she’d change her opinion of me after the conversation. Her husband was my age, and they got on well, though that was quite a difference from the age gap that I shared with Caroline. Stella cracked my door, and I looked over the city as I collected my thoughts.
I started working on a new project, a series of hotels that were going up in tropical locations and were sure to be successful. They were the perfect mix of comfort and luxury in places that would offer virtually unlimited activities for guests, and one of my benefits is that I’d get to stay in them anytime that I wanted. I had a lot of choices for vacations because of this job, wondering why I didn’t take more for a moment. I could do that for Caroline, though the idea of being alone with her scared me right now.
I finished the design of the lobby, offering a bar and restaurant as well as a spacious front room. It would offer a library as well as a movie theater for guests. It was going to be stunning, and I smiled at the design as I moved on to the rooms. They were large with balconies that overlooked the water and beaches, offering a place of sanctuary for the guests. They could dine there, have coffee, and even sleep with the space that I was offering.
I found the time passing quickly and glanced down at the clock on my monitor to see that it was approaching evening. I blinked and felt grateful that I loved my job before I thought about dinner. I knew that Caroline loved Thai food and there was a great place on the way home that I could get take out from. She would more than likely be home studying and we could eat in the living room as we often did.
I realized as I waited for the food that was something I loved about having her with me. I enjoyed the time spent together, and I didn’t want to tarnish it with my new carnal thoughts of her. I took the bags to the car and drove home as I thought about everything that was happening, realizing that it might stop when she moved out of the house and started her own life.
Caroline
I glanced up from the couch where I was studying as the garage door opened. I smelled the food before Perry looked into the room from the kitchen and held up the familiar bag. “Sound good?”
“You read my mind,” I answered as I stood and stretched, setting my book carefully down before I walked into the kitchen. I was wearing some loose pajama pants and a clingy tank top, trying to find a healthy level between comfortable and teasing in my clothing. I knew that I had full breasts that men often ogled and I should think harder about that here, but I wore a sports bra underneath so my all too sensitive nipples wouldn’t show. I loaded my plate with all my favorites and returned to the couch as he grabbed a beer and followed. “How was work?”
“I got a lot accomplished. That new resort is going to be beautiful,” he told me as I smiled and nodded. “I might have to take a vacation once it’s built.”
“You aren’t good at those, but you should be. You have designed so many amazing places, Perry.” My eyes were hard on him as he sipped from the bottle and looked back at me.
“I know. I was thinking that I needed to relax more today while working. Maybe we can get away to celebrate your graduation?” He had suggested before his eyes widened and something that looked like regret crossed his face.
“Seriously?” I asked with a smile on my face, one that was more than just being grateful. I wasn’t sure if he was playing a joke or not, but the idea of a vacation with Perry made my body heat up.
“Sure,” He sounded confident in his response. “We can take a week or two and go anywhere you want.” Perry offered as I chewed my noodles slowly. Jesus. He knew how much I liked the ocean since we didn’t live close to it and I knew that I could bring all my little bikinis. I couldn’t stand the idea of other men looking at me other than Perry, but I would make sure I packed my best ones.
“I’ll think it over since I still have a couple months of school. Thank you, Perry. I know how much you like to be home.” My eyes were warm and happy as I looked at him.
“This is for both of us. I need to learn to enjoy all that life has to offer,” he replied, looking back at me. We continued to eat as he watched a rare full hockey game while I read a book, taking notes as I glanced at him from time to time. I knew th
at he couldn’t read my mind, but some deep thoughts were going on behind my eyes. Perry made his way to bed first, making me soon follow as I watched some porn and masturbated to it furiously as I imagined what it would be like with him in some paradise.
He went into the office at the usual early hour the following day, seemingly determined to stick to a schedule. I knew that he needed that to live his life the best way that Perry knew how: working. I wondered why he looked tired though as he smiled and left quietly in the morning just after I woke up.
The weeks passed a lot of time working hard on my studies. Perry knew that it was hard the last year and gave me room and support as needed. He knew that I wanted to finish my college career with top grades.
I admitted a week before graduation that I’d looked into resorts and decided on one called The Brando in French Polynesia. He did some research after my confession and agreed that it was gorgeous. The resort was very private. It seemed like more of a romantic setting to me, though there was a lot to see and do. We could make it just a trip since families probably went there all the time. We were a family, right?
Perry booked the trip for a month out, shocking me when he told me that he set aside three weeks away from home with the knowledge that he could work there if absolutely necessary. I thought that it would be good for him as well, which is why I showed so much excitement at the extra time even as I wondered if any of the amount would feel like too much with my feelings for him.
I acted thrilled when he told me the dates. I was mostly done with classwork and went shopping for some vacation clothes. Perry picked the beginning of May to leave since I worked so hard to get ahead and graduation would be done. We could both really relax.
Perry smiled as I brought home shorts, skirts, and shirts to wear. There were also new swimsuits that were sure to torment him, and I was surprised to see him excuse himself quickly to go upstairs as I held them up, looking uncomfortable.
