She closed her eyes for a second, and then shrugged. “No point in that, right?”
“Right.” For a moment, I was silent, staring down at the coffee cup in her hands. And then, “So… hey. About that. We, um… neglected to use any protection. You wouldn’t happen to be on any type of birth control, would you?”
Turning her legs toward me, she let out a sigh, then shook her head. “I’ve never had a reason to be on birth control, Harlan. I already had that freak-out this morning too, when I got up to get in the shower, and… yeah.” She gave me a wry smile. “The good news is, I use an app to track my cycle, and according to that, it’s very unlikely that we’ve made any little mini hotcakes, so…We’ll know for sure in about a month, but I don’t think we have anything to worry about.”
I tried not to look too relieved, but I honestly felt like standing up and shouting. I settled on sending a silent thank you up to God, and nodded. “Okay.” Sydnee returned my nod, but then she started chewing nervously at her lip, like she wanted to say something. “Hey,” I said, placing my hand on her knee. “What’s up?”
“Nothing.” She shook her head, then ran her tongue over her lips to wet them. “It’s just… you go to the doctor regularly, right? You know, to get things… checked out?”
I lifted an eyebrow. “I don’t get sick often, so—wait… you mean like, STD testing?”
Her head shot up, and she glanced around the mostly empty room, eyeing the other visitors, all of whom were well out of earshot. “Yes. We didn’t use protection—”
“Which is not – despite what happened last night – a habit of mine. I actually thought about it, when we were in the moment, but… it was you. Obviously I didn’t think it all the way through, but I didn’t think we would need protection for that reason,” I confessed, not really proud of what I was saying, but it was the truth. “You usually use protection, don’t you?”
Sydnee’s eyes went wide, and then she shifted her gaze away from me. “Um, yeah.”
… Um?
“You sound a little unsure…”
“No.” She met my eyes again. “Harlan, I’ve never…” she shook her head. “You’re the only one, okay?”
She looked away from me, almost like she was embarrassed, which baffled me. Why, of all things, would she be embarrassed by that? I reached for her hand, and as I did, something else she’d said came back to mind. “You said you’ve never had a reason to be on birth control, but I know you’ve dated, so…?”
“So… what?” She lifted an eyebrow.
“So you must’ve…?” I stopped, taking in her blank expression. She pulled her lip between her teeth, and just slightly, shook her head, and the realization of what she saying hit me with the force of a baseball bat to the chest. “So last night…?”
Sydnee took a deep breath, then nodded.
Noooo!
I scrubbed a hand over my face and sat back, pressing my head into the wall behind me. “Sydnee, no.”
“It’s not a big deal.”
“The hell it isn’t!” I sat up. “You’re twenty-six, Syd! Nobody accidentally gets to twenty-six without having sex. Still being a virgin at twenty-six is some pretty on-purpose shit!”
“Not for me!” she hissed, glancing around the room again. “I wasn’t saving myself or anything, I just….” She stopped, swallowing hard before she kept speaking. “You’re the only person I’ve felt close enough to, to want to be that intimate with.”
I sighed. “I… shit. I wish you’d said something. I would’ve… I don’t know. I wouldn’t have been drunk, and I could have taken better care of—”
“It was fine, Harlan.” She put down the cold coffee she’d been holding, then put her hand over mine, looking up at me with a smile. “You didn’t know, and you were tipsy, but you still made me feel like I was taken care of, and you actually cared that I was enjoying it, and… it was good, okay? It was perfect. I wouldn’t change anything.”
She leaned forward, pressing her soft lips to my cheek, then giggled when I grabbed her by the face, covering her mouth with mine. Like always, she tasted good. Warm and sweet, and… just, beautiful.
“Next time,” I whispered against her lips, once I’d pulled back from the kiss. “Next time, it’ll be better. I promise.”
She grinned. “Oh, you think you earned a ‘next time’?”
I kissed her again, until she moaned into my mouth. “Darlin’, I may have been a little drunk last night, but I’m pretty sure I did.”
Syd pulled her bottom lip between her teeth, and she looked so damn sexy that I dragged her forward again, sucking that lip into my mouth before I let it go, then slid my tongue between her lips. Over my shoulder, I heard somebody clear their throat, but I tuned it out in favor of kissing Sydnee. A moment later, that ahem sounded again, and Syd made a little whimpering sound and then pushed at my shoulders. Still, I took my time pulling away.
Sydnee raised her hand to her mouth, touching her lips. Her eyes were big as she looked past me, and when I turned to see what she was looking at, my throat dropped into my stomach.
“Mrs. Natalie!” I croaked, and then cleared my throat. “I… hey. You alright?”
She lifted an eyebrow. “I’m just fine. I was coming to get you because Sidney wanted to talk to you about something else for the restaurant, but I can tell him you’re out here trying to su—”
“Nah, that’s okay.” I jumped up from my seat. “Let me just go see what he needs.”
“Mmhmm.”
I avoided getting too close to Mrs. Natalie as I passed, not knowing what she was going to do, but as I headed down the hall, I smiled as I heard her speak to Sydnee.
“Well it’s about damned time.”
Sydnee was really good at getting under my skin. So good, in fact, that I wondered if she’d always known the effect she had on me. If she knew that, for a very long time, I’d wanted nothing more than to touch her in ways that could never, ever be interpreted as brotherly. Or hell – friendly, either.
The more I thought about it, it wasn’t really so surprising that Sydnee had been a virgin. What was more surprising was her ability to grind her ass into me like a woman who knew exactly what she was doing, exactly the angles to drive me out of mind.
Too bad we were in public.
On the dancefloor at Urban Grind, any little traces of modesty were tucked away, and Sydnee danced, laughed, talked, and danced a little more, like she was having the time of her life. Stacks had been out of the hospital for two days, doing well, so in a clear contrast to her mostly subdued state for the last week, she was cutting loose.
And I was glad to see it.
We’d crossed a little hurdle – sort of. We were on great terms, we’d kissed, we’d been intimate, we kinda had Stacks’ blessing. And yet, things had been… not necessarily awkward between us, but we definitely weren’t in the comfortable groove I’d hoped for. I’d been extremely busy with the restaurant, she’d been preoccupied with getting Stacks settled in at home, and those two things translated into us not really spending any time together.
Until tonight.
Tonight, we seemed to be connected by some invisible string. She went to dance, but she didn’t go too far. If I sat talking for too long, she came and dragged me onto to the floor, like now, to press her body suggestively into me, as we danced to sexually suggestive songs, and I was just about ready to follow some of those suggestions. Trey Songz Na Na blasted through the speakers, and as he questioned the subject of the song, “why you gotta act so naughty?” I silently agreed, because goddamn, Syd.
There was no way she couldn’t feel how hard I was, but just in case, I grabbed her hips and pulled her backwards. “You see what you’re doing?” I asked, bending to speak into her ear over the sound of the music.
She grinned at me over her shoulder, then bit her lip as she rolled her hips a little harder. That sneaky little smile slipped off her face when I wrapped an arm around her stomach, pulling her off the dance f
loor with me. We swung by where our friends were just long enough to say goodbye, and then I ushered her outside, where she turned to me, looping her arms over my shoulders.
“What next?” she asked, looking up at me with those big brown eyes. She was good and sober, so they were clear and alert, full of happiness as she met my gaze.
I shrugged. “I don’t know, but I had to get you out of there, before I did something that would’ve gotten us arrested.”
“Arrested?” she laughed. “Harlan, what on earth would we have gotten arrested for?”
“Public indecency.” She shrieked as I dropped my mouth to her neck, nibbling and sucking at her soft flesh before I kissed her there. “Dancing on me like that, while you’re wearing this,” – I gestured at the short, sexy dark blue dress she was wearing – “I was this close to seeing if you have any panties on.”
She grinned as she slipped away from me, heading down the street in the direction of her apartment. I followed, shaking my head when she turned around and mouthed “just barely” at me. I caught up to her at a corner, while she waited for the signal that we could cross.
“I want to go your place,” she said, when I wrapped my arms around her waist, pulling her close. “You know you’ve never invited me there, right?”
I lifted an eyebrow. “That’s cause I don’t know what might’ve happened if I had you alone in my apartment.”
“And what if I want something to happen, once you get me alone in your apartment?” She turned in my arms, pressing herself against my chest.
I lowered my mouth to brush her lips. “Then that can be arranged, darlin’.”
Sydnee closed her eyes, and a sound that was half whimper, half moan came from her throat as I kissed her. She brought her hands up again, anchoring them at the sides of my jaws, and when I drew back from the kiss, she murmured two words against my lips. “Let’s go.”
I didn’t need to be told twice.
The walk to my apartment was fast, punctuated with hot kisses at any street we had to wait to cross. By the time we got through my door, and I locked it behind us, I was ready to just snatch her dress off, but I’d made a promise I intended to keep.
We kicked off our shoes at the door, and I backed her into my bedroom, pushing her gently into the wall and flipping on the light before I slid a hand up her dress. I grinned when my fingers touched the flimsy lace edge of her panties. “I guess this is what just barely meant.”
She bit her lip, and nodded, closing her eyes when I bent to kiss her neck again. I started to reach for the zipper at the side of her dress, then changed my mind and stepped back.
“Take this off for me.”
She wrinkled her nose a little, like she was confused, then flicked her eyes up toward the light fixture. “With that on?”
Why not?” I shrugged.
Sydnee shifted on her feet. “Um… no reason, I guess. I just… does it have to be on?”
Frowning, I stepped closer, cupping her chin to lift her gaze to mine. “Hey… what’s going on? Are you uncomfortable?”
She shook her head. “Not exactly, I guess. I just… I know I undressed with you in the room at my apartment, but you weren’t looking at me then. And when we had sex, the lights were off, and I – oh, God, this is so friggin’ embarrassing. I feel like I’m hitting all the virgin checkmarks right now or something.”
“What?” I laughed. “Come on, Syd. You got nothing to be embarrassed about. Is this about me seeing you naked?”
Syd wrinkled her nose again, and nodded. “You don’t have a lamp or anything? A dimmer? Or… we can just turn em’ off… right?”
I smiled, and she smiled back as I stroked my thumb across her cheek. “No.”
Her smile dropped. “No?”
I chuckled. “Yes, darlin’, I just told you no. I mean… I can’t make you do this, but if we do… I wanna see you. All of you. And I’m not saying no to turning off the light because I don’t care if you’re uncomfortable, I’m saying it because if we start doing that, you’ll always be uncomfortable.”
She crossed her arms. “Harlan, what I’m hearing is that your wants trump mine. And I don’t need another man in my life whose gonna treat me like my father does, like he knows better than me.”
“Then I’m not being clear,” I said, raising my hands in front me. “I’m not tryna boss you, or control you, I swear. If we’re gonna be intimate though, I need you to be comfortable with me. I wanna see you, touch you… see you touch yourself. That don’t work with the lights off. I couldn’t see you last time, and I…” I stopped, taking in Syd’s expression— pissed, and… maybe a little bit scared. Scrubbing a hand over my face, I shook my head. “Never mind. If having the lights off helps you feel comfortable, that’s what we’ll do.”
Swallowing a tinge of disappointment, I walked over to the light switch, then put my fingers to the dial on the dimmer. Why she felt the need to hide her body, I had no idea, but…it really wasn’t up to me. She was right. She didn’t need me telling her what to do. And eventually, maybe we could work up to having the lights on, as we were together longer. It didn’t have to be today.
“Wait.”
I looked in Syd’s direction to see that she’d grabbed the zipper handle at the side of her dress. I shook my head. “I don’t want you do something you’re not secure with just because –”
“I’m not.” She gave me a little smile, and then slid the zipper down.
I quickly crossed the room and caught her hand, then used my other one to tip up her chin. “Are you sure? Cause—”
“Yes,” she insisted, biting her lip. “Harlan, I… feel good with you. I don’t even know why I’m making it a big deal, other than being stubborn. I trust you. I know you’re going to take care of me.”
Damn right, I thought, but didn’t speak out loud as she let her dress slip to the floor. She was braless underneath, displaying what I knew from experience were perfect handfuls of breasts, with nipples that were just barely darker than her glowing dark copper skin. She was slim at the waist, and I’d heard her more than once complain to her friends or mom about her “nonexistent hips”, but I’d never seen the problem, personally. And with an ass like hers, I couldn’t say that I’d really been looking at her hips.
“Turn around,” I said, because I wanted to see it, and when she did, it was impossible not to touch her. I kissed the back of her neck as she arched into me, then slid my hands up her stomach to cup her breasts. She moaned as I rolled her nipples between my fingers, pulling and tugging until they hardened into little peaks. I turned her around, devouring her mouth as she unbuckled my pants and pushed them to the floor, only stopping long enough to get my shirt over my head.
I edged her toward the bed, and she giggled as she fell backwards onto the covers, with her knees together. She closed her eyes as I climbed up beside her, cupping her chin to keep her close as I kissed her. I draped her legs over mine, then spread them apart before I grabbed her hand. Pushing my tongue into her mouth, I deepened the kiss as I guided her fingers between her legs.
Her eyes flew open, and she met my gaze, surprised.
I grinned. “Oh, come on now, darlin’,” I said, licking her fingers to wet them before I lowered them again, pushing them over her clit. “I know you’ve touched yourself before, right?”
She blushed, then bit down on her lip, whimpering a little as I pushed her fingers further, into her wet folds, then moved them up to her clit again. “Yes,” she whispered, closing her eyes again. Her head fell back against my shoulders as she stroked herself.
“Then just do what makes you feel good,” I murmured, nibbling her earlobe as she began to subtly move her hips upward against her hand. My dick was throbbing, ready to be inside of her, but I took a deep breath, willing myself to calm down.
I eased my body from underneath hers and then moved over her, taking one of her pretty nipples into my mouth. She cried out in pleasure when I sucked, stroking herself with her fingers as she rocked
her clit against the heel of her hand. So I did it again. Over and over, lavishing attention on her breasts but not touching her otherwise until her body began to shake with pleasure as she came.
This was why I wanted the lights on. Matching her sounds of pleasure to the faces she made, seeing her fingers disappear inside her body. Seeing her wetness, smelling it, building my appetite to taste it, marveling at how lucky I was to actually see Sydnee come. Just fucking watching her like this turned me on.
Then, I couldn’t wait anymore.
She was still trying to catch her breath when I covered her with my mouth, devouring the sweet essence of her orgasm. “Ahhh!” she squealed, arching away from the bed as I wrapped my arms around her and buried my face between her thighs. Her hands went to my head, fingers grazing my scalp as I closed my lips around her clit, lapping and sucking until she began bucking against my mouth. When she couldn’t get a grip on my head, she snatched up handfuls of the sheets.
“Harlan, Harlan, Ha- Harlan, I can’t, I can’t, Harlan, I can’t—”
“Yes you can, darlin’,” I said, plunging two fingers into her as I looked up, watching her mouth hang open as she struggled to catch a breath. I pressed my thumb to her clit, shaking it back forth, and her top half lurched away from the bed. “You can, and you will.”
I put my hands at her knees, spreading her legs as wide as they could go before I buried my face again. Every little whimper, squeal, moan she let out made me harder, and I was beyond ready for her. I kept my fingers in her, stroking her deep as I licked, and kissed, and sucked, until she exploded. “Ahhhh-uhhh!” She let out a sound that was somewhere between a sob and a scream as her body went tense, and then she melted, with a low moan that dissolved into quiet weeping as I kissed my way back up her body.
When I reached her lips, she kissed me like she was starving, grabbing my face to keep me close. “You okay?” I asked, reaching up to wipe her tear stained cheeks.
“Never been better.” she murmured before she attacked me with another kiss, plunging her tongue into my mouth.
Love You Forever (Serendipitous Love Book 5) Page 9
