Magic and Mayhem: Have Wand, Will Travel (Kindle Worlds Novella)

by Teresa Reasor

  “He’s showing subservience to you.”

  Glendora smiled, obviously liking that. She bent and rubbed his chest and belly. He bounced to his feet and rubbed against her ankles like a cat. She patted his head.

  “Is there any news about the Baba Yaga’s return?” Zaira asked.

  “No, thank the Goddess. That is not what we want at this time.”

  Yeah. Big surprise. “I promise my team and I are doing everything we can. I tasked Roger, one of our most gifted investigators, to monitor the black market sale of magical devices.” She slid the sheet across to Glendora. “These are the only things sold in the two weeks since we first accepted the case. You may want to check the list for other things that might have been stolen from the Council’s storage facility. Even though you weren’t aware of the wand’s loss, there may be something else you recognize from the list.”

  Glendora reached for the paper, but before her hand made contact, she jerked her attention downward. “Oh, my Goddess, what’s he doing now?”

  Zaira followed the woman’s attention. Cerbie had wrapped his front paws around the woman’s leg and was humping it for all he was worth. His lips were pulled back from his teeth and his tongue hung out.

  “Get him off me!” Glendora shook her leg, but the dog held on, his little hips going like a piston. The witch jumped around on one foot and swung her leg in an attempt to unseat him. He panted, making noises like he was about to….

  Zaira stared at him in shock. She’d told him to be a distraction, but he was taking that to whole new heights. “Cerbie, stop that. Bad dog!”

  Cerbie ran his long tongue up the woman’s leg.

  Glendora squealed. “Ewww, I have dog cum on my leg.” She poofed.

  Cerbie fell over on his side. His grin was evil as he picked himself up, gave a shake, and pranced about in a circle, his stub of a tail pointed straight up. “I’m the man.”

  The sound of a crash came from the reception area, and the walls of the conference room shook. Voices carried down the hall. Calamity’s panicked cry triggered all of Zaira’s protective instincts, and she popped into reception with Cerbie. His small body vibrated with a businesslike growl as they both took in the six warlocks from the Council dressed in their robes, facing off with five vampires dressed in Versace suits and snowy white silk shirts.

  Power singed the air from both sides. Fangs and wands had been drawn. There was a great deal of hissing going on, though no blood had been shed. Not yet.

  The door hung askew on its hinges. Darkness had descended while she’d been in the conference room with Glendora, and she hadn’t even noticed.

  Calamity cringed back in the corner, out of the line of fire. Zaira checked her for any injuries and, with a wave, transported the young witch to her side. “Go home Calamity.”

  “But, I can’t leave you here alone. Roger’s already left, and Calista is out on an investigation.”

  “What about Aileen?”

  “She’s still here.”

  “Pop into her office and tell her we’re in need of some of her most potent pixie dust. No way will we allow them to destroy my office.”

  Calamity grinned and disappeared.

  She waved a hand and fixed the damaged door. A tall, dour-looking vampire stepped forward. “We are here for the wand. We know you have it.”

  Chris would never turn her into the Vampire Council. His disdain for them would prevent it. If he’d already discovered she’d taken it, he’d come after it himself. “It isn’t here. My team and I are still looking for it.”

  “You cannot give the wand to them.” Archie, the warlock who’d signed the contract with their agency stepped forward. “You’ve been paid to find it for the Witch Council. Your loyalty should be to us.”

  Adcock interrupted him. She recognized him from Chris’s description. “You have been seen with Christophe.”

  She felt the breeze from tiny wings and a high-pitched, cheerful voice buzzed in her ear. “Incoming.”

  A glimmer like a soap bubble settled just above the vampire’s head then flitted away. Zaira eased up her shields to protect Cerbie and herself from the dust.

  “Yes. Chris hired me to help him rescue his uncle. He was being held against his will. You wouldn’t know anything about that would you, Mr. Adcock?”

  The vampire narrowed his eyes and flashed his fangs. “You will soon learn not to interfere in vampire business, Ms. O’Shea.”

  “You will soon learn not to come in here and try and destroy mine.”

  She could tell the moment the Pixie dust hit him. He gave a wiggle she doubted was a dance move, followed by a thrust as he clamped the cheeks of his ass together. He thrust his hand down the back of his pants and started scratching his ass.

  Archie, the warlock Glendora had ordered to sign the contract, used the edge of a door facing to scratch between his shoulder blades, and suddenly sprung around to scratch his front in a move that any pole dancer would have envied.

  Like flea-infested dogs, vampires and witches alike started wiggling and scratching with manic glee. The warlocks bailed out of their robes like strippers at a burlesque. The vampires followed suit, shedding their elegant clothes and rolling around on the ground and digging at their skin. She almost felt sorry for them. Almost. She had never seen so much white skin or so many skinny asses in her life. Though the vampires did seem to have a little more muscle.

  Cerbie rolled on his back, making noises somewhere between a bark and a growl, slobber flying in all directions. For a moment Zaira thought he was having a seizure, until she heard his mirthful snorts.

  Eileen hovered in front of her shield. Her tiny, totally feminine figure was dressed in pink lace, her blond hair hanging in ringlets around her shoulders. Her wings flapped so fast they were just a blur. “This is going to last a while, and when they finally stop scratching they’ll be too exhausted to do much damage. I’ll stick around until they stagger out of here.”

  “I owe you, Eileen.”

  “You’ve saved my pixie ass more than once. That’s why we’re a team.”

  It wasn’t until she was driving home that Zaira thought to wonder where Chris had been during all of the excitement. He had been entirely too quiet since she left him earlier. The chances that he hadn’t discovered the wand was missing yet were slim and slimmer.

  If he wasn’t at her office, then it meant he might be at her house. She’d hidden the wand well, and he didn’t have the box to track it. He wouldn’t know where to look. But magic was unpredictable.

  Zaira slammed her foot down on the gas pedal and screeched into her neighborhood on two wheels.

  CHAPTER 12

  CHRIS STIFLED HIS laughter while he watched the Council members dig at themselves like monkeys.

  He’d been a little concerned as he watched the Vampire and Witch Council members fight over who was going to enter the office first. He hovered, concerned for Zaira’s safety, and waited to intercede if he was needed. He should never have doubted Zaira. She was one of the strongest witches he’d ever met. Watching her deal with both Councils in short order thrilled him.

  But both Councils were going to be more than furious with her once they recovered. He had to get the wand back. As long as she had it, she’d be in danger. She was going to be in danger even if she didn’t have it. Witches and vampires had long memories, and their grudges and feuds made the Hatfield and McCoy conflict look like a minor disagreement.

  And she would never keep the wand at her office, where all sorts of preternatural creatures wandered through. No, her house was the likeliest place.

  He turned west and put on some speed as he ran and leapt along the tops of the buildings. He stepped off the side of the last tall building and landed in an alley about a block from her house. Jogging across the street, he checked for anyone watching, then once again broke into a fast clip, following the sidewalks of the subdivision.

  He had no trouble picking the lock to her back door, and no wards kept him from e
ntering the premises. Perhaps because he’d already been invited in. He heard the hum the moment he stepped inside the kitchen. The sound actually resonated inside his head, like a bee trapped in his ear. When it was cushioned inside the wall between layers of insulation, the wand’s tone had been dulled. Here it was pervasive, which made it more difficult to track. He opened the oven. The microwave, the refrigerator, but the sound never changed.

  He searched every cabinet and every drawer of the pocket-sized kitchen. It had to be right here in front of him. Perhaps it was hidden under a cloaking spell.

  It reacted to vampires. So it would react to him. He thrust his hand out, palm down and passed it over some of the same areas he had already hunted. When he placed his hand inside the oven, the sound grew louder, as did the creepy sensation along his palm.

  He hadn’t tried to bake the damn thing. Maybe he could just turn the oven on and see if the heat could accomplish what all his tools couldn’t. The problem with that was if it backfired, as it had in his garage, it might take out Zaira’s kitchen.

  He reached into the oven again and, even though it looked empty, his fingers brushed against an object. He gripped it and withdrew it from the oven. As soon as it passed the open door the box appeared, solid, real, with symbols carved into it matching the wand. He opened the box and the wand lay inside. He extracted it, and immediately the symbols on the exterior of the box started moving. He placed it back inside and they stilled.

  Was that how Zaira had found the wand at his house? Had he taken the box, she would never have been able to track the wand. He wouldn’t make that mistake again.

  There had to be somewhere he could hide the wand where no one would ever find it again. A bottomless sinkhole. The depths of an active volcano filled with lava. Somewhere where its destructive force could never be used against anyone.

  “I won’t ask how you got into my house,” Zaira’s voice came from the kitchen doorway.

  Damn. She’d sneaked up on him again. He turned to face her and found her holding a wand.

  Some of the hurt and disappointment he’d felt earlier rushed back. “I can’t believe you slept with me so you could steal the wand.”

  Her features blanked for a moment. “The wand had nothing to do with my sleeping with you. Not directly.”

  “What do you mean?”

  “It isn’t important anymore. We both know this, whatever this is, could never go beyond what it did. There’s too much pressure from both witch and vampire communities for it to be anything else.”

  “Coward,” he accused. “You’re just like all the others. If a guy doesn’t have a beating heart, he isn’t capable of feelings. Is that what you think?

  Her delicate jaw hardened. “No. And I’m not a coward. I’m the first witch to hire a diverse group to work under one roof. I have no bias or prejudice against anyone. If I did, I’d never have let you touch me.”

  Was that a small catch he heard in her voice?

  She straightened her posture and pushed her shoulders back.

  “I can’t let you take the wand, Chris. It’s much too dangerous.”

  He stepped back toward the kitchen door and heard the locks flick back in place. Locks wouldn’t keep him in, but she could put up a barrier. “I can’t let you have it for the same reason. If the Witch Council gets their hands on it, vampire kind will no longer exist, and there will be no one left strong enough to hold them in check. Humankind will have no chance against them.”

  She countered with, “If the Vampire Council gains access to it, they’ll use the power to do away with all witches, no matter how many of their own kind they have to sacrifice. Vampires can make vamps more quickly than witches can be naturally born. And it takes so damn long for us to come into our power.”

  Her power whipped through the room like a stiff breeze. “Don’t make me hurt you, Chris. I don’t want to hurt you.”

  “I would never hurt you. But I’m not giving the wand to you, Zaira.”

  A thin sliver of power came at him and he raised the box to protect himself. The stream ricocheted off the box, then off the door facing in a flash of light.

  Zaira yelped, staggered back, and braced a hand on the small dining room table just outside the door. She dropped the wand and it rolled to the floor.

  Concerned, Chris rushed to her side. “Where are you hurt?”

  “None of your business.” But she was rubbing her behind.

  He set the box on the table. “Here, let me see.” He started to raise her skirt.

  She slapped at his hand.

  A small white blur lunged at him and grabbed his pants leg. The tug and jerk weren’t strong enough to unbalance him, but were an aggravation when he was attempting to focus on Zaira. He reached down and grabbed the dog by his stub of a tail like it was a handle, brought him to face height and snarled, “Stop it, you little shit. She’s hurt.”

  He set the dog on the table like a teacup. Cerbie plopped his butt down and remained silent.

  “The wand has a self-defense mechanism in place that reflects back any aggression toward it. I almost staked myself through the head with a hammer trying to destroy it.”

  Zaira’s hazel gaze bored into his. “You mean it can’t be destroyed.”

  “Correct. I’m almost positive at this point that it can’t be. I thought about turning on the oven and letting it bake, but I was afraid it might blow up your kitchen.” He placed a hand on her posterior and rubbed the rounded curve of her buttocks. “How’s it feeling?”

  Her cheeks flushed and she sidestepped away from him. “The pain is going away.

  “I can kiss it and make it better.” He bit his lip to keep from smiling.

  At her continued embarrassed silence, he smiled. “I saw the Councils arrive at your office, and stuck around in case you needed assistance. You handled them rather well.”

  “Not without a little help from my friends.” She rubbed Cerbie behind the ears, then lifted him and placed him back on the floor.

  “We can’t allow either Council to get their hands on the wand, Zaira. It’s too powerful, and too deadly. You know they’ll use it against each other as a weapon.”

  “I know. But if it can’t be destroyed… What can we do with it?”

  He drew a relieved breath. At least she was open to working with him instead of against him. “I thought about dropping it down a volcano, but it would probably blow a hole through the earth. I thought about dropping it into the middle of the ocean, but what if it washed ashore again, or has a negative effect on the sea life? It puts out a low-pitched hum that might draw them to it.”

  “Cerbie do you hear it?” Zaira asked.

  He growled.

  “He says yes, he hears it.” She shook her head. “So we can’t do away with it anywhere it’ll be around animals, either. Someone’s familiar could lead them right to it.”

  “While both the Councils are recovering from whatever you did to them, I have to leave with it and find a safe place to hide it.” He looked into her eyes. “You know it’s the best thing to do.”

  “You’re not going alone.” She laid both hands on his chest. “You might run into trouble. It’s always good to have a witch on board.”

  He searched her face. “You didn’t share woo-woo with me to get the wand, did you?”

  “No.” Her eyes grew suspiciously bright. “I shared woo-woo with you because I thought you might never want to share woo-woo with me again once I betrayed you by stealing the wand. I thought if I had it, the Vampire Council couldn’t stake you, because there’d be no way for them to know you stole it.”

  Excitement jump-started his heart, and it thudded against his ribs. He tugged her in tight against him and kissed her. “I shared woo-woo with you because you’re the first woman, witch, I’ve felt like this about in over a hundred years. To hell with how other witches feel about vampires, and screw how my species feels about witches. It’s just us, Zaira.”

  She cupped his face in her hands and kiss
ed him. “I agree.”

  “It may take a while to find a safe place to hide the wand. We’ll have to be gone a while.”

  “I know.”

  “It could get dangerous. Both Councils will come after us. They won’t forget how you got the best of them.”

  “I know.”

  Cerbie suddenly ran around in circles barking, his front legs bouncing off the ground with his adamancy.

  “What’s he saying?”

  “He’s saying he’s not being left behind, and that we need to get our asses in gear. He hears a car pulling into the driveway.”

  Chris crossed the living room at vampire speed and looked out the window. “Shit! It’s Adcock’s goons. Can you teleport us to my house so we can get the car?”

  Zaira held out a hand. “Let’s go.”

  CHAPTER 13

  “GO AHEAD, THROW it in,” Chris encouraged. “No one but the two of us…. sorry, Cerbie…three of us will ever know it’s here.”

  Zaira stared at the small cemetery plot. The smell of freshly turned soil and cut grass hung in the air.

  “They’re on our tail, Zaira. We have to hide it somewhere before they catch up with us.”

  She knelt and raised the indoor/outdoor carpeting covering the hole, and the supports that would hold the coffin during the service until it was lowered into the grave. She slipped the box beneath and let it go. She heard a soft thump as it hit the bottom of the six-foot deep grave.

  Maybe, just maybe, they’d found a place to hide the damn thing.

  “Why do you think this is going to work when letting it float over Niagara Falls didn’t?” she asked.

  “Because they’re going to lower a casket on top of it, and it won’t be able to get out from under it. Between the concrete vault, the casket, and the body, it will be weighted down and won’t be able to move.”

  She hoped he was right. They’d been driving for two weeks trying to get rid of the wand, and somehow it always ended up right back in Chris’s car. They hadn’t been able to figure out how.

  “If only that dragon family living in the sinkhole had agreed to take it.”