Forbidden Addiction (Forbidden, Book #4)

by R. L. Kenderson

  The idea seemed crazy. Not that long ago, she had sworn to herself that she would never have sex again with anyone, but now, here she was.

  She might have gone back on her proposition to have Dante get her pregnant, excusing her impulsive proposal as a moment of insanity, except she had spent all day with Kenzie and her pregnancy hormones. It was enough to let Phoenix know that she was making the right decision.

  Phoenix knocked on the door, and this time, Dante answered. He opened the door and quickly ushered her inside because the sun had not set yet. Vampires didn’t go poof or burst into a ball of flames in the sun, but they did get severely sunburned. However, they healed so fast that it was invisible to the naked eye. It was only after modern technology that it had been discovered what the sun did to them and why they required extra blood and hours upon hours of rest when coming into contact with the sun.

  Phoenix hurried inside, so Dante could shut the door behind her.

  “Can I get you something to drink?” Dante asked.

  It seemed weird that he was trying to be polite and sociable. Not that this behavior wasn’t one hundred percent Dante. It was just that she usually came to feed him. She got in and out, and that was the extent of their interactions. It was usually more like one colleague helping another rather than a social call.

  “No, thanks. I’m good.” Quite frankly, she wanted to get this over with. She was starting to get really nervous, and it was not a feeling she was comfortable with. It made her feel vulnerable, and she already felt vulnerable enough, knowing that the two of them were going to be getting naked together.

  She scanned him up and down, seeing him differently now than before. She never really looked at him like a woman looked at a man. She never looked at any male like that actually. But, tonight, she studied Dante.

  He was tall, a few inches over six feet, with thick dark hair and dark brown eyes. He had a Mediterranean skin tone due to his Greek ancestry. He was, without a doubt, attractive, and he would make beautiful babies. She already hoped that their child would end up looking like him.

  “Come on upstairs then,” Dante said, holding his arm out toward the stairs.

  Phoenix went ahead of him. With each step she climbed, her anxiety grew. When they reached Dante’s room, she almost didn’t go in. Until she pictured Naya’s babies, giving her the renewed strength to step over the threshold and into Dante’s domain.

  She’d been in Dante’s room before, so she shouldn’t be that scared of it. It was the first place where he had fed from her. Also, after Gerald had kidnapped her, she hadn’t been able to sleep alone in the compound’s guest room. She’d slept in Dante’s bed the whole time she stayed with the vampires.

  Dante stepped around her and went to his dresser where a television sat.

  “Is that new?” she asked. “I don’t remember you having a TV.”

  “It is,” he said, picking up a remote. “So, what do you like to watch?”

  “Excuse me?”

  Why was he wasting time with asking her what she liked?

  “What do you like to watch? TV? Movies? We have just about everything in this joint.”

  “Um…I don’t really watch television or movies.”

  Dante looked a little defeated. “Yeah, me either.” He perked up. “But I’ve heard great things about Game of Thrones. And, if we’re really up for something challenging, Morgan suggested True Blood. Apparently, they have their vampire facts all wrong.”

  “Huh?”

  Phoenix had met Morgan before. She was another Guardian and seemed nice enough with her beautiful brown skin and her turquoise eyes, but for some reason, Phoenix didn’t like the fact that Morgan and Dante were chummy.

  “Yeah, it’s that show on HBO about vampires, werewolves, and faeries. Along with humans who are addicted to vampire blood.”

  “I’m confused.”

  Dante shrugged. “Well, maybe we just have to start watching it to understand.”

  Phoenix shook her head. “No, I’m not confused about the show. I mean, I am but not in the way you think. I’m confused about why we are talking about watching television. Shouldn’t we be…you know”—she gestured to the two of them and then to his bed—“having sex?”

  Dante laughed, walked closer to his bed, and then literally jumped on top of it, landing on his back with his head on the pillows. “Come here, Red.”

  She would never admit it to anyone—anyone—but she loved it when Dante called her Red. No one had ever given her a nickname before, not even when she was a kid, and she loved that he had a special name for her. Until now, he’d only used it when he was feeding from her.

  Phoenix cautiously sat next to Dante on the bed, unsure of what to do next. Take off my clothes, take off his clothes, kiss him? This was why it was easier not to do this stuff at all. She should just go find someone else to get her pregnant. Someone who would just have sex with her during her heat and skip this whole thing.

  She looked back at Dante. But he was the only one she trusted. She faced forward again, leaned over, and removed her shoes.

  Before she could do anything else, Dante put an arm around her waist and hauled her backward until she lay beside him with his arm around her and her head on his shoulder.

  “What-what are you doing?”

  “We’re going to lie here and watch TV together.”

  “But—”

  “Phoenix, I told you, we’re taking it slow. Tonight, we’re going to lie here together and just cuddle. I want you to know that you can trust me.”

  She got up on one elbow and looked down at him. “But you’ve already taken my blood. You’ve given me, you know…orgasms. I’ve slept in your bed. You’ve sucked on my nipples, for heaven’s sake.”

  He shook his head. “Not the same. While I enjoy making you come, we both know that you’re there to give me your blood. You slept in my bed because you were scared and needed to be close to someone. And the nipple thing was because of what Gerald did.” He pushed her back down on his chest. “I don’t like thinking about what that asshole did to you, so let’s not talk about it.” He picked up the remote. “I vote for Game of Thrones. I am curious as to what everyone has been talking about. Is that okay with you?”

  Phoenix didn’t really hear Dante’s question. She was thinking about what he’d said before that. He liked making her come. He’d said it matter-of-factly, which was almost better because then he really meant it. He wasn’t just saying it.

  She’d had no idea that he liked doing that to her, and she couldn’t help grinning. Thank heavens she was looking away from him.

  “Phoenix?”

  “Huh? What?” What else did he say? Oh, yeah. “Sure, Game of Thrones is fine with me. I admit, I’ve been wondering what all the excitement over that show is about, too.”

  It didn’t really matter what they watched because she was entirely too aware of Dante’s hard body and how they were touching from head to toe, so she doubted she’d even pay attention to the show.

  The good news was that she wasn’t uncomfortable. While she didn’t like others touching her, especially without permission, she didn’t mind Dante being this close to her. But, even though he’d said they weren’t going to do anything tonight, her nervousness returned. Because they were still going to do something in the future. She had been looking forward to getting it over with, but it looked like she would have to wait. The suspense might kill her.

  Dante found his HBO Now app, brought it up, and selected the show.

  By the end of the first episode, they were both hooked. Phoenix didn’t even notice anymore that half of her was lying on Dante. He was warm and smelled incredible—his scent always brought her comfort—and he was fun to watch the show with. He had rubbed her back and played with her hair while they watched, and she confessed to herself that she liked his touch.

  The part about the brother and sister made Phoenix uncomfortable, but it seemed to make Dante uncomfortable, too. He gave her a reassuring sque
eze, as if he knew just how much it bothered her.

  The next thing Phoenix knew, she was waking up on her side with Dante breathing deeply behind her. He had his arm around her, which she was clutching like it was a teddy bear. Her bottom leg was straight, but her top leg was bent at the knee, and Dante’s top leg was bent also. It was right behind hers and lying over her bottom leg. She didn’t think she’d ever been so comfortable with being this close to another person before.

  She liked it.

  She took the opportunity to caress Dante’s arm. It was covered with a few dark hairs. Vampires were less hairy than shifters, and she kind of liked that about him. Now that she didn’t have to hold herself back from Dante, she felt freer. She hadn’t realized how much she restrained herself when it came to him.

  She was sure he wouldn’t want anything to do with her sexually after she went through her heat. She knew it wouldn’t end up being great, but she no longer feared it would end horribly. And, no matter what, she trusted Dante to remain her friend.

  If she thought about it too much, she knew it would hurt if he rejected her after they slept together. But it was inevitable, and if she got to be a mother out of it, she wouldn’t have any regrets.

  Dante stirred behind her and rolled onto his back, taking his limbs and warmth with him. Phoenix rolled onto her side to see him better.

  He looked around, as if he’d forgotten where he was, and ran a hand down his face. The television was still on, but somehow, the volume had been turned down. “Wow. I was out.”

  “Me, too,” she said.

  Dante surprised her when he rolled back toward her and pulled her close to him. “I don’t want to get up. You’re so warm and smell so good.”

  She chuckled and hesitantly ran her hand down his chest. “I was thinking that about you,” she confessed.

  “Are you on duty tonight?”

  “No. I’m on babysitting duty, remember? I was with Kenzie all afternoon. And I have to be back there in the morning.”

  “That’s right.”

  “You?” she asked.

  “Yes. Once I leave this room, I have to go to work, and I don’t want to. If we could figure out who was doing this, it wouldn’t feel like such a waste of time.”

  Wasn’t that the truth?

  Dante rolled away from her and stood up. “Would you like to come with me for a while tonight?”

  He knew the way to her heart.

  “I would love to. But I don’t know if I should.”

  “You’re just going to ride along. Nothing is going to happen anyway. I’ll make sure you’re back in time to get to Sawyer’s.”

  Phoenix still wasn’t sure. “Who are you with tonight?”

  He scratched his chin. “Ah…tonight, it’s Morgan. Do—”

  Phoenix jumped from the bed. “Count me in.”

  Dante grinned at her. “I knew you couldn’t resist getting out there.”

  Yes, that was exactly why she was going along.

  Liar.

  LEXINE BARELY MADE it back to the manor. After the sun had set, Lucas had let her go with a list of demands. And, if she didn’t follow them, he would show Dante and everyone else the video that he’d shown her.

  Just thinking about how everyone would look at her made her sick. Although that could also be the blood loss she was dealing with. She didn’t know how she was going to go out on patrol when she could barely hold herself upright.

  Lexine snuck into the compound through one of the back doors and was able to creep up to her room without anyone seeing her—the one thing she had going for her that night.

  She would have laughed if it wasn’t so sad.

  Once she entered her room, she stripped off all her clothes, found an old backpack in the rear of her closet, and stuffed her outfit in there. She’d burn the whole thing later.

  Next, she got in the shower and turned the water on as hot as she could take it and scrubbed her skin raw.

  Lucas and the others hadn’t raped her. After they’d all unzipped their pants, she’d closed her eyes, weak from fighting and Lucas stealing her blood. Nobody had touched her at first. She’d thought and hoped that maybe they were going to leave her alone. Until she’d felt a hot spurt hit her stomach. And another and another. Then, she’d felt it on her chest, her legs, and her arms. They had jacked themselves off and come on her over and over again, leaving no part of her body untouched.

  At first, she hadn’t understood why they had done that instead of sexually assaulting her. But then she’d figured out that, this way, there would be no proof of her attack because a rape kit would show nothing. And, to top it all off, she had to come home smelling like she’d had sex with three males. Add in the low blood count, and now, she looked like a whore who gave out her body and her blood.

  After they’d finished, they had let her lie there, covered in their semen, for the rest of the day. She’d known that she needed to rest to regain her strength, but every time she’d tried to sleep and escape her situation, someone had come along and woken her up. She hadn’t slept for over thirty-six hours.

  Lexine sank down into the tub and let the water wash over her. Even though she had not been a willing participant, she was mortified. She had let these people into her life. All because she’d trusted the wrong vampires. She’d thought they were her friends. Some Guardian she was. She hadn’t even seen them for who they really were.

  The water was beginning to turn cold before she reached up to shut it off, but she was too tired to get out. The hot water on top of everything else had made her incredibly sleepy. She lay back to rest for just a minute to regain some strength before attempting to climb out and get herself up and dressed.

  She zoned out, her body trying to sleep while her mind tried to stay awake, and she didn’t hear someone knocking on her bedroom door. She didn’t even hear that person breaking in or charging into her bathroom.

  “Lexine! Oh my God!”

  She opened an eye. It was Sterling. He was bending over the tub with a horrified expression on his face.

  “Of course it’s you,” she wearily told him.

  “What happened to you? You’re as pale as a ghost.” He leaned closer and frowned. “And you smell like…”

  “I’m not a whore. I’m not.” She wasn’t supposed to tell anyone the truth, but she couldn’t have people believing she would do that. She didn’t even care that she was naked as long as he didn’t really think she had been out, having an orgy.

  Sterling’s face softened. “I know.” He leaned over, grabbed her big bath towel from her towel rack, and wrapped it around her before he lifted her out of the bathtub and carried her into her room. “You need to feed.”

  She shook her head. “There’s no time. We’re on duty tonight. And I can’t let my brother see me like this.”

  As an unwedded female, it was preferred that she only drank from members of the same sex or from family members. She often drank from her brother, but there was no way she would let him see her like this.

  “Take my vein,” Sterling said.

  She swatted his hand away, or she tried to anyway. With her weakness, it was like a feather hitting a rock. “I’m not going to do that.”

  While she was a stickler for the old rules, especially when it came to being a female, she was a Guardian after all, and there was a time when there used to be no female Guardians. She just wasn’t comfortable with feeding from any male. And she always envisioned that Dante would be the first one she fed from.

  Sterling looked at her like she was crazy. “Okay then, I’d better go find our leader before he goes out for the night because there is no way you can go out like this. Someone will have to cover for you.”

  He stood, and she grabbed the first body part she touched—his leg.

  “No.” There was no way she could let Dante see her and smell her like this. She was already having enough trouble getting him to see that she was meant for him. “I will drink from you.”

  “Thank God
.” He sat down on the bed, took off his shirt, and spread his body out beside hers.

  “What are you doing?” she asked.

  Like all Guardians, Sterling was physically fit, but she never really paid attention to how nice his chest looked until it was right in front of her.

  “Feeding you,” he said, drawing her eyes up to his and away from his body. “You know, you need to drink a lot and fast. You don’t have time to feed from my wrist.”

  Sterling grabbed her around the waist and laid her halfway on his body so that her mouth was right at his neck. He touched her like it was something he did every day, and she wasn’t sure how that made her feel. She knew he was helping her, but they didn’t know each other that way.

  But then she smelled his skin and his blood. How had she never noticed that Sterling smelled almost like melted chocolate? He smelled delicious, but she was sure it was because she was so hungry.

  She sank her fangs in his neck and took the first pull. There was a possibility that her eyes rolled back into her head at the taste. How had she never known that the opposite gender’s blood tasted this good? No one had ever told her. No wonder the Vampire Council discouraged it.

  She drank and drank from him, climbing on top of his body until she was straddling him. She would have continued, but he gently cupped the back of her head.

  “Lexine. Lexine, honey, you need to stop. I just fed last night, but if you keep going, I’m going to need to feed again.”

  She barely heard his words, but they did penetrate. She remembered what Lucas had done to her and didn’t want to do the same to Sterling. She withdrew her fangs and licked the wound closed. Despite lying still for quite some time, she was breathing as hard as if she’d run a marathon. It took several seconds for her to realize that Sterling was aroused under her. She knew it had to do more with her feeding from him than with him being attracted to her, but she was suddenly aware of her nakedness and slid off him, clutching her towel to her.

  “Holy shit,” Sterling whispered more to himself than to her. He shook his head, as if to clear it, and looked over at her. “You okay?”

  She nodded and licked her lips, making sure she got every drop of his blood. “Yes.”