Rachel Lindsay - Love and Lucy Granger

by Rachel Lindsay

  ‘ Never mind—I'll, send you a dozen bottles, or would that smack of charity too?'

  ' Please, Paul,' she said shakily. ' Don't be cruel.'

  ' You're being cruel to me.'

  'How?'

  ‘ By leaving me.' He took a step towards her again, the anguish in his face unmistakable. ' Do I have to put everything into words? Doesn't that feminine intuition of yours tell you anything?'

  She drew a deep breath. ' I'd be afraid to trust it. Sometimes you can want a thing so much that you can make yourself believe something that isn't true.'

  'This is one time when you can safely trust your intuition.' He put his hand on her arm. ' Poor Lucy I What little faith you have in yourself. Don't you know what you mean to me ? Don't you know that I need you so much I can't let you go? I love you, Lucy, and I want you to stay with me.'

  Happiness engulfed her like a tidal wave the shore. Paul cared about her, deeply cared, and didn't want her to go. There was nothing more she could ask for, and with a sigh of joy she rested her head against his shoulder. His hand stroked her hair, smoothing it away from her forehead and coming to rest on the nape of her neck. She shivered at his touch.

  ' I never thought I'd hear you say you needed me,' she whispered.

  ' I'd like to hear you say you needed me.'

  ' I'll need you all my life,' she replied, and with a daring she never knew she possessed, put her arms around his neck and pulled his head down until their lips met.

  Instantly he became the master, and any doubts about his feeling for her were dispelled by the shaking of his body against hers, and by the insistent pressure of his mouth which demanded, and received, a response she had never believed herself capable of giving.,

  ' I want you,' he gasped. '.I want you so much.

  Qnce more he bent his head, his hands caressing her neck, her shoulders, the swell of her breasts.

  'No!' she gasped.

  Instantly his hands were still. ' I'm sorry, darling. I didn't mean to frighten you.'

  'I'm not frightened of you' she said, rosy colour flooding her cheeks. ' I'm frightened of myself.'

  ' Oh, Lucy! Only you could be so beautifully honest and admit such a thing.'

  'Why shouldn't I admit it? I'm not ashamed of loving .you.'

  ' Only frightened?' he teased.

  ' Just a little. You must give me time.'

  ' I won't rush you, my darling. I've waited so long for you I'm willing to wait a bit longer.'

  Still keeping his arms around her, he sat down in the armchair by the fire and drew her on to his lap, cradling her against him as though she were a child. Behind her the firelight turned her hair into a nimbus of gold and made deep purple pools of her eyes.

  You're the most beautiful thing I've ever seen,' he said hoarsely. ' I can't believe you're nearly mine.'

  She blushed at his use of the word 'nearly', and seeing the colour in her cheeks, he chuckled. ' It's so easy to make you blush, Lucy. I love doing it.'

  ' It isn't fair. I can't do the same to you.'

  ' You do much more. When you're in my arms I lose all my strength. I can no longer control what I say or how I feel.' He tilted her face up and she saw that his mouth was grave, the expression in his eyes serious. ' It's a strange feeling for me, Lucy, not to be in control of. myself. I'm not sure I like it.'

  Unbidden there came into her mind the memory of the other women he had known, and of the one he had loved more than any of the others. Jealousy welled up in her so sharply that she was unable to control her tongue.

  ' It's happened to you before, hasn't it? What about the other women?'

  ' They were unimportant.'

  ' Even Sandra?'

  For an instant his face was expressionless, then the half smile which she knew so well tilted the edge of his mouth. ' Even Sandra. Passion only possesses you physically. It doesn't possess you mentally.'

  ' But you were still a slave to it, weren't you?'

  ' Lucy.' He gave her a little shake. ' You can't be jealous of the past.'

  ' I'm sorry.' Tears blurred her eyes and she rubbed them away with her knuckles. ' I'm so jealous of you, Paul, I can't bear to think you ever kissed anyone else.'

  ' Now I've met you I can't bear to think of it either. But you should be glad of the other women I've kissed,' he murmured into her ear, ' or would you rather have a lover who was inexperienced?'

  Her colour increased and he tugged at a tendril of hair that curled against the white skin on her neck. ' Sweet

  Lucy, it's wicked of me to tease you, but you'll be able to get your own back on me soon.'

  ' Will I?' she whispered. ' You must tell me how.'

  ' I won?t need to tell you,' he said huskily. ' You're go much a woman, you'll find out for yourself.'

  His words, foretelling an intimacy between them, roused her to an unexpected desire, and she twined her arms about his neck, her body resting more closely against his. He shuddered violently and his hands gripped her shoulders. ' Don't,' he said. ‘ Don't try me too far. I can't bear it.'

  She Stopped the rest of his words by covering his mouth with hers. ' I love you,' she breathed. ' I love you so much.'

  Nothing seemed to matter except the primeval feminine urge to give herself completely in utter surrender. For an instant Paul held back, then with a groan he gathered her close and she knew in that instant what he had meant when he had said that one day she would be in control. Reality receded and she was enveloped in a warm, pulsating darkness and a desire so intense that she felt as though nothing could appease it. Her breath came in gasps, there was a ringing in her ears, a ringing that grew louder until it brought her back to reality.

  'The telephone,' she said shakily. ' The telephone's ringing.'

  Paul looked at her uncomprehendingly, his eyes still dark with passion.

  ' The telephone,' she repeated, and stood up.

  With an effort he got to his feet too, and walking over to the table, picked up the receiver.

  Lucy turned to the mirror and stared into it, smoothing her hair. Was the starry-eyed girl with rose-flushed cheeks herself? She closed her eyes, reliving the last few moments, afraid that when she opened her eyes again she would find the whole thing had been a dream. But even with her lids closed, she could hear Paul's voice, and when she opened her eyes and turned round, he was Still talking on the telephone.

  She moved over to his side and he put one arm around her and drew her close. For a moment she remained there, then he put the receiver on the top of the table.

  ' I'm afraid I'll be on the phone for at least an hour. It's a call from America. I've been expecting it since yesterday.'

  She looked at the receiver with astonishment. 'An hour's call from America?'

  ' It's much cheaper than flying there!' He chuckled as he leaned forward and kissed the tip of her nose. 'You look exhausted, darling. You'd better go to bed.'

  Still in a state of trance, Lucy went into the hall. She closed the door and rested against the panelling, too bemused to be aware of her surroundings.

  ' Feeling all right?'

  With a start she saw Murray coming towards her from the drawing room.

  ' I'm fine,' she said. ' I'm—I'm going to bed.'

  'You look as if you're more likely going to faint. Come and join Cindy and me for a nightcap.'

  ' No, thanks.' Reluctant to dispel the last wonderful moments, she made to walk past him, but he barred her way, his eyes narrowing as he took in her appearance. ' You know, you don't look as though you're going to faint after all. You look as if you've just come down from heaven. What's happened?'

  ' Nothing.'

  ' Come off it, old girl. You've been having a necking session with Paul, haven't you?'

  The crudeness of the remark jarred on her. 'Must you talk like that?'

  ' Like what?' One dark eyebrow raised itself. ' You are touchy, Lucy. You needn't be embarrassed because you've been kissing His Lordship.'

  ' He loves me,' she sai
d sharply.

  ' That doesn't surprise me. You're very beautiful, and Paul's used to having the best.'

  ' Do you have to put it that way?'

  ' I'm sorry.' The apology was only in words, for he still looked sardonic. ' It's just that I don't like to see you make a fool of yourself.'

  ' Don't you. think you should mind your own business ?' She made no attempt now to hide her anger.

  ' You are my business. I won't let Paul make a fool of you. You're too nice a girl to become another of his mistresses.'

  'Mistress?' Her voice rose. 'How dare you say a thing like that!'

  ' You mean I'm wrong ?' The sardonic expression left Murray's face. ' I'm sorry, Lucy. I didn't realize he'd asked you to marry him.'

  Words trembled on her tongue but would not allow themselves to be spoken, for Murray's question suddenly made her realize how much she had taken for granted. Strange that until this moment she had not realized that the word marriage had never passed Paul's lips. Love, passion, desire, each of these words had been spoken, but the only one missing had been the word which would have given her the confidence to give Murray the answer he was expecting. Yet she could not do so, for marriage was the. one word Paul had omitted to mention.

  With a moan of pain she pushed past Murray and ran up the stairs, wishing she could turn back the clock and relive the last hour again. What a fool she had been, what a blind, stupid, trusting fool!

  CHAPTER VIII

  Looking at herself in the mirror next morning, Lucy was horrified at the dark smudges under her eyes. Unhappiness certainly made her look like a wreck. The sooner she left Charters the better. She glanced at the opulent surroundings and thought of her own shabby flat. Paul had asked her to remain here, but had it only been until he could install her in a Mayfair love nest? Blinking back the tears—she had already cried too much over him during the night—she went downstairs to tell Cindy she was leaving.

  She was crossing the hall when the library door opened and Paul came out. With an exclamation of dismay, she shrank back. But it was too late: he had already seen her.

  ' Surprised to find me still here?' he said. ' I couldn't leave without saying good morning to you first. I wouldn't have been able to think clearly until I'd satisfied myself that what happened last night wasn't a dream.'

  Before she could stop him he caught her hand and pulled her into the library. She wanted to run away, but her legs were shaking and all she could do was lean against the door.

  ' I'm glad you're still here.' Even in her own ears' her voice was faint and she cleared her throat and began again. ' It won't work, Paul. It was a mistake.'

  His skin, normally pale, took on a yellow tinge and he seemed to have difficulty in speaking. But after a moment the control of years took over. ' Are you trying to tell me that last night didn't mean anything to you?'

  Pride longed to make her say yes, but she was not her father's daughter for nothing. Even if Paul had made a fool of her she did not intend to denigrate her own feelings; they at least had been real.

  ' No, Paul, it wasn't a pretence. I do love you. If I loved you less I might have been able to accept what —what you offered. I know many women would, but— but I can't. If I had the choice of being the mistress of a millionaire or the wife of a man who didn't have a penny, I'd still choose to be the wife.'

  'Lucy——'

  ' No I' she said fiercely. ' You can't make me change my mind. I don't want your sables and diamonds. I want your name and your children.'

  Blinded by tears, she turned and groped for the doorhandle, but before she could find it his arms drew her back against him, his face bent to hers and unbelievably she felt his tears on her cheek.

  ' I don't want you for a mistress,' he said huskily. ' The way I lived before I knew you doesn't mean anything to me. Nothing I did before I met you means anything. The only part of my life that counts is the part you fill, and if you leave me, then the rest of my fife will be empty.' He stepped in front of her and took her face between his hands. ' I love you, Lucy, and I do want to give you sables and diamonds. But I also want to give you my name and my children. Didn't you know that without my having to tell you?'

  No longer was there any room for doubt and she was engulfed in a happiness that drained the misery of the night before. ' What a fool I am,' she whispered. ' Oh, Paul, I'm sorry. Will you forgive me?'

  ' As long as you'll say yes to my question. Will you marry me, darling?'

  ' Nothing can stop me,' she said, and burst into tears.

  It was well after eleven o'clock before Paul left for London, and only then because he received an urgent call from his secretary reminding him of a board meeting.

  ' I wish I could cancel all my business arrangements,' he ejaculated. ' I want to spend every minute of my time with you.' He lifted her hand and held it against his lips. ' I'll be back as early as I can tonight.'

  Lucy waved to him from the steps and remained there until the car turned a bend in the drive and was no longer in sight. Then, feeling as though she were walking on clouds, she returned to her bedroom. She was on the threshold when Cindy came down the corridor dressed in riding clothes.

  'Are you meeting Murray?' Lucy asked.

  Cindy shook her head. ' I can't get him near a horse I Anyway, he likes the morning light for painting.' She looked at Lucy curiously. ' What's happened to you? You look sort of—sort of shiny.'

  Lucy hesitated, reluctant to share her happiness with anyone. Yet if she did not tell Cindy, the girl would be terribly hurt. ' I'm going to get married.'

  Cindy's eyes widened. Then she flung her arms around Lucy and danced her down the corridor. ' I knew it! I knew it! I knew it! Thank goodness it's happened at last.'

  Breathlessly Lucy forced Cindy to a halt. ' You mean you guessed? You know it's Paul?'

  ' Of course I guessed. Look at the way he behaved. It was so obvious.'

  ' I didn't notice anything obvious about it,' Lucy protested. ' Why, I didn't even guess it myself!'

  ' That's because you didn't know what he was like before he met you. The minute he asked you to go and talk to him in the library I knew he was falling for you.' She began to dance Lucy down the corridor again. ' The library's always been sacrosanct to him. No one ever dared go in there, yet he actually asked you to sit with him! Gosh, Lucy, it was so obvious, Aunt Beatrice and I were taking bets on the wedding date!'

  ' I wish you'd told me,' Lucy said drily. ' You could have saved me an awful lot of heartache.'

  Cindy stopped dancing and pushed her hair away from her forehead. ' You mean you never even suspected what was happening?'

  ' No. I'm so ordinary I———- '

  ' Don't be crazy! You're beautiful.'

  ' Falling in love with a person's looks isn't the best basis for marriage.'

  ' I love it when you start moralizing,' Cindy giggled. ' Oh, Lucy, what fun it's going to be having you for a sister-in-law. When are you getting married? Where are you going to spend your honeymoon? Will you live here or in Paul's house in town?'

  'Stop, stop!' Lucy put her hand to her ears. 'So many questions! You must ask your brother. I'm leaving it all to him.'

  ' You're wise,' Cindy said candidly. ' You'll save a lot of argument that way.'

  Momentarily Lucy was uneasy. She was not the quiescent type and had always regarded marriage as a partnership, with neither partner the dominant one. If Cindy's assessment of Paul were true, she could see squalls ahead. Yet even as she thought this, she chided herself, remembering the way he trembled at her nearness and the tender things he had said. No, the brother Cindy knew was a different person from the one she knew.

  With her future assured Lucy would have liked to have kept her engagement a secret as long as possible, for she knew that once the news broke they would be overwhelmed with publicity. But Paul insisted it was made public at the earliest opportunity.

  ' These things have a habit of leaking out, and I've no intention of having our names coupled to
gether in the gossip columns.'

  'You mean the "just good friends" angle,' she laughed.

  He nodded but did not join in her laughter. ' Any damned writer who says that will find himself looking for another job!'

  She was dismayed at the threat in his words. Although she knew Paul so well in one respect, there were many facets of his character she did not know at all. Paul Harlow, master of Charters and her future husband, was someone she knew intimately. But what of Paul Harlow the industrialist—the man of influence?

  ' Would you really use your power to put someone out of a job?' she asked.

  ' If it was necessary to protect you.'

  I'd hate that kind of protection!'

  ' Are you asking me for a promise?'

  'Yes.'

  ' I can't give it to you.' All at once he was the coldly polite man she had first met. ' You must allow me to look after you in the way I see fit.'

  Irritation fought with humour and humour won. ' Very well. .I'll go out and buy myself a ball and chain, then you'll really be the master!'

  'You little wench! You're deliberately misunderstanding me.'

  She said nothing and he sighed. ' You look so angelic, Lucy. I find it difficult to remember you've got as much obstinacy as I have.'

  ' Would you prefer a doormat?'

  ' Certainly not 1 I'd be bored to death.' He tweaked her hair. ' All" right, my dear, I won't play the lord the master. I'll allow you to take care of yourself—as much as possible.'

  Realizing it was a partial victory, she was content, knowing he would think carefully before using his power in a way that would go against her principles.

  The excitement that resulted from a discreet announcement in The Times exceeded anything she had expected. Shoals of telegrams and bouquets of flowers arrived for her from people whose names she had only read in society columns, and Charters was besieged by newspaper reporters and photographers.

  ' Won't they ever give us any peace?' she demanded one Sunday afternoon after an over-zealous photographer had been found lurking in the grounds.

  ' Not till we're married,' Paul said,' and it will start up again each time my name appears in some business deal.'