His hand flexed, loosening the tight grip he had on her. “You won’t give me an inch, will you?”
I’d give you everything you’d ever want, if you loved me. “I’m giving you all that I can.”
He stopped moving, staring down at her with an unreadable expression on his face. “I know you are.” Letting go of her, he braced his forearms on either side of her head and began to move again, except this time, his mouth sought hers. “Kiss me. I’ll make it good again.”
Her poor heart could barely take his promises. “Heath, I—”
“In the morning, sweetheart. Tonight’s for us.”
Closing her eyes, she let Heath sweep her away, let him make love to her all night until dawn began to pour through the windows. Her heavy eyes couldn’t stay open.
He kissed each one closed. “Go to sleep. I’ll take care of your guests.”
She tried to protest, but he silenced her with a kiss.
“Let me do this for you.”
Sleepily, she agreed, but in the back of her mind, his confession echoed.
*
Haven waited until Heath had left for Greenville to get some things from his townhouse before she called Bella. All day, their conversation from the night before had weighed on her mind until she couldn’t take it.
She had to do something.
That something was to confess to her best friend that she’d married the man she used to love. Or maybe she still loved him.
Bella’s wedding had been sudden and completely unexpected. Only a few close family members had gone, her brother and his wife staying behind to watch the youngest members of the Edwards’ clan.
Checking the time to make sure that Bella would be awake, she dialed her number and waited while butterflies went wild in her stomach.
As if sensing her distress, Gotham jumped on the desk and nosed her hand. She stroked her, thankful for her presence.
“Haven!”
Her friend’s cheerful voice threw her for a loop. To be sure, Bella had to have heard by now. Even Daisy had heard and had sent her a text message gently scolding her for not inviting them to the wedding. Luckily, Daisy understood and was too pregnant to travel by plane anywhere.
“Hi, Bella. How are you?”
“Fine.”
That did not bode well for their conversation. Fine in the South meant two things. One, a general assurance of well-being. Or two, a sentiment to convey that yes, something was wrong, but it would be poor manners to talk about it.
Unfortunately, this sounded a lot like number two.
“What’s wrong?”
“Nothing. I’m really happy to hear from you. How is everyone?”
“Fi—” she almost said, but shook her head. “Doing good. Willow’s planning weddings, and I’m letting her have them here.”
“She’s so nice. I’m glad the two of you have become such good friends.”
“Yep… so I have news.”
“Me, too.”
“Oh?”
“Yeah, but you go first,” Bella encouraged.
“Um, well, I got married.”
Bella burst into tears. “That’s wonderful, Haven. I’m s-so happy for you.”
Oh my word. Haven let her head fall. “I’m so sorry.”
“It’s not your fault that I’m crying. You didn’t leave me pregnant and alone in a foreign country.”
“What?” she practically shouted into the phone.
“I’m such a fraud, Haven. All those years… I had a weekend fling with Liam, you know Sebastian’s friend?” Yeah, Haven knew—those guys were hard to miss with their expensive suits and British accents. “We got married, and then we had a fight, so I left for another place.”
“You went on a mission trip while pregnant?”
“I know. Don’t lecture me. I feel awful. Stupid and awful. I don’t know what I was thinking, especially with my—Things were so much simpler back home, you know?”
“I know.”
“Remember how we were in high school? So sure of everything?”
All Haven remembered was that Bella and Heath were the golden couple. Maybe that was what Bella was remembering, too. “What can I do to help?”
“Besides come and get me, and help me take care of this baby when it’s born—nothing,” she said with a little laugh. “I’m sorry for unloading on you like this. You shared such happy news with me, and all I did was make it about me.”
Bella’s apology only served to make Haven feel worse. “Don’t worry about it. We can talk another time. Listen, I have to go…unless you need to talk some more.” Please don’t need to talk more. Yes, it made her disloyal, but she couldn’t take anymore of her friend’s sadness when she had the solution living with her.
“I’m fine. It’s just the pregnancy hormones talking. I’m with friends. You go do your thing, girl.”
“All right,” Haven said softly. “But if you need me, call me.”
“I’m so lucky to call you my friend.”
Haven let her head hit the desk with a loud thunk, welcoming the pain. “Me, too.”
Bella ended their call.
Haven lifted her head and stared at the screensaver on her laptop. It was a picture of her and Heath slow dancing to Ed Sheeran’s Thinking Out Loud.
With her fingertip, she traced the image, committing it to memory. Once she told Heath about Bella’s predicament, he was sure to go to her, and then Haven would delete everything.
Actually, why should she put it off? Her lawyer was supposed to get back with her at any time.
Haven deleted the screensaver and replaced it with a picture of Gotham wearing a Batman mask.
If only she could delete what was in her heart and replace Heath with someone else.
Chapter Fifteen
‡
With a spring in his step, Heath raced up the front porch steps of Chesson House.
He’d always heard confession was good for the soul, and after last night, he was a true believer. The pain of losing a baby he never had a chance to know had haunted him for years, but last night…last night he was able to share his guilt, his pain…his terror with someone who didn’t judge him.
Haven had listened to him, sympathy ever present on her beautiful face. She’d taken what he said and gave him the most lovely of gifts in return by listening to him. By not dismissing his pain merely due to the fact that he hadn’t been the one carrying a baby who was wanted.
And God, how he wanted that baby and Bella.
But now, he could see past that. He could see a future.
Haven’s pink hair came in to view as she worked in the flowerbed in the front of the house, snipping off the dying flowers from the mums. She looked so damn cute in her leggings and belted shirt. The headband holding back her hair even matched the pattern of her shirt.
How could he not want to come home to her? All he had to do was convince her that she wanted to come home to him, too.
The phone rang.
“I’ll get it. Your hands are dirty.”
“No,” Haven shouted, running up the stairs behind him. “Don’t.”
Answering the phone, he held her off with one hand. “Hello, this is Haven’s husband. She can’t come to the phone right now. Can I take a message?”
“Give me the phone,” she hissed.
“Please let Ms. Crawford know that her paperwork is ready for her signature.”
A buzzing started up in his ears, too loud for him to hear the rest of her message. “I’ll let her know,” he said, and hung up the phone, uncaring if the woman was finished talking or not.
“Who was that?” Haven asked.
“The best divorce attorney in eastern North Carolina.”
Haven’s face went pale. “I didn’t mean for you to find out this way,” she said, wringing her hands together. “Did you know the divorce rate for newly—?”
“Don’t give a damn about some useless fact at this moment.”
“I have good news. Well, it
’s good news for one of us, but if you’ll listen to me, then I think everything will work out for the best.”
“I am all ears,” he said through gritted teeth.
“Bella needs you. Her husband has left her, and she’s…she just needs you.”
“I don’t want her.” Yes, he felt bad for her, but the sharp pain of learning about her marriage had dulled considerably in the past few weeks. While he cared about her, in a way that could only be described as sentimental affection, she was his past and her choices would have consequences she would have to deal with. “She also has a family to help her, so she’s not all alone. Not like you.”
She visibly flinched. “I’m not alone.”
“Compared to the rest of us you are.” But not anymore. He refused to let her push him away again.
Haven tried again. “But this could be your chance to win her back, to finally be with your first love. The mother of your—”
“She was the mother of a child I wanted, but you know what happened, and I don’t care to repeat the conversation,” he said sharply. “Besides, I’m already married.”
Tears ran down her face. “This is just a marriage of convenience and you know it. Go to her.”
“I don’t want to go to her.”
“But she needs you. She’s pregnant and all alone.”
His jaw worked. “Damn it, Haven. That’s not fair. Why would you lie to me about that?”
“I’m not lying. She said so herself. This is your chance. Don’t be too proud to take it.”
“Fine, I’ll go.”
His easy acceptance of her reasons made her knees threaten to buckle, but she stood strong. She had to. “Okay.”
“But first, you have to say you don’t love me.”
“I—I,” The words got stuck in her throat. No matter how hard she tried, she couldn’t lie. Not anymore. “I can’t.”
He took her hands in his. “Then I’m not going.”
She could not be responsible for their unhappiness. It was bad enough she prevented him from getting back together with Bella after her fiancé had dumped her. But if she told him that, he would hate her forever. But true love required sacrifice, and she loved Heath more than anything else in this world.
“After Peter left Bella, she wanted to reach out to you, to see if the two of you could work things out, but I—” She began to falter, and her lips began to quiver. “I told her you were involved with another woman and it was serious.”
He let go of her hands. “You lied to keep us apart.”
“Yes,” she whispered.
“Did you really hate me that much?” He scrubbed his face with his hand. “Now it all makes perfect sense. The reluctance…the way you wouldn’t quite open up to me. Fuck.”
“I’m sorry.” She stepped closer to him, but he backed up.
“Don’t. I’m—I thought we could have something, but you’re still so caught up in the past that you can’t see what’s right in front of you.”
“Yes, I can, which is why I’m making things right.” She clenched her hands into fists. “It’s killing me to do this.”
“Why—because you actually love something more than that damnable pride of yours?”
She shrugged helplessly. “I want to fix it.”
“By sending me away.”
“Don’t you care that I lied to her about you?”
“Yes, I care, but fuck it all, Haven. If Bella had wanted to be with me, then she would have found a way. She wouldn’t have listened to her friends. She chose to leave with Liam, to marry him. Those were her choices, just like I chose to marry you.”
“But I was really convincing.”
His gaze raked over her. “Yeah, you really were.” Shaking his head, he sliced his hands in the air and turned away, moving to the front door. “I need to go.”
“So you’ll go to her.”
He cast a glance over his shoulder. “What do you think?
The door banged shut behind him. “I think I just set the one I love free, and it hurts like hell.”
*
Three hours later, Haven sat on bed, her knees drawn to her chest as she replayed their argument in her head. She had been right to tell him about Bella. She had to right… otherwise, her heart pinched.
He had to love Bella and want to fix things. Years of separation and circumstance couldn’t diminish what they had.
But what about your love? Your circumstances?
It wasn’t meant to be. It made no sense for us to go from enemies to lovers.
Love doesn’t have limitations.
“Love doesn’t have limitations,” she whispered. But she sure as hell had put love into a box. Then shoved the lid on and wrapped it up with duct tape.
Gotham jumped on the bed, rubbing against her legs and purring. “At least I never have to worry about you leaving. Gotham couldn’t survive two days without me.”
The phone rang and she scrambled for it, thinking it was Willow. She’d tried calling her earlier, but she had been sent straight to voice mail.
Barely glancing at the screen, she answered it. “Willow, I’m—I sent him away.”
“Ma’am?”
She held out the phone and looked the number. “Who is this?”
“This is Brenda from County Med. I’m looking for Heath Ambrose’s next of kin, and the first in-case-of-emergency number that came up in his phone was yours.”
The room turned blurry. Her heart slammed against her chest. There wasn’t enough air in the room and she struggled for oxygen to fill her lungs.
“Hello?”
Say something. “This… this is his wife.”
“I’m sorry, Mrs. Ambrose, but your husband was involved in a car accident, and we need you to come down to County.”
“How bad was it?” She couldn’t bring herself to ask if he were alive. If he were dead, wouldn’t they want her to come identify the body, not just come down there?
“I can’t say, honey. I just make the calls. I’m so sorry.”
Forget her heart breaking, it shattered into thousands, no millions, of tiny pieces. “I’ll be right there.”
Chapter Sixteen
‡
With a lump the size of the Appalachian Mountain chain lodged in her throat, Haven sped to the hospital, breaking about a dozen traffic laws on the way, but she didn’t give a damn. Though he wasn’t hers anymore, the thought of his broken body lying in the hospital made her want to scream and rage against the unfairness of it all.
She’d lost too many people in her life to death—her parents incredibly early while her grandparents had passed within months of one another to old age and sickness. And heartbreak.
Eyes blurry, she checked with the receptionist. “I’m here to see Heath Ambrose. What room is he in?” Please let him be alive. I don’t care if he’s lost every limb—I just want him alive.
“Give me just a minute, honey.”
Behind her, a man complained loudly, capturing her attention. “You’re late.”
Haven glanced around and saw a woman with short dark hair standing near the entrance with a dog on a leash.
She smiled. “Seems to me that I’m right on time.”
“Then what are you waiting for—let’s go.”
“I’m sorry but only family is allowed,” the receptionist said and Haven turned back to her. “Do you have any ID?”
“Not really.” Her driver’s license wasn’t in her married name. She silently cursed herself for being so damn stubborn about something she really didn’t care about. She was more than her last name, but right now, she wished it was exactly like Heath’s. “We were married a couple of months ago, and I haven’t had time to change—”
“Thank God you’re here, Haven,” Luke said, joining her at the desk. He had on blue scrubs, and his eyes were rimmed in red. “She’s my sister-in-law. What room number?”
“5641”
“Is Heath all right?”
“I don’t know. I haven’t had
time to check in on him. My—fuck—sorry. Lily… her car hit his truck. Apparently, a dog ran out in front of her and she swerved to miss it. It was around a curve. Heath never saw her coming. They’re doing CT scans right now.” His voice wavered but didn’t break.
Though she was going through hell, wishing she had been brave enough to tell Heath how she felt, she hugged Luke. “I’m sorry.”
“Thank you.” He took a breath. “Let’s get to Heath, so I can go back to her—if I can.”
Luke shuttled her through the swinging doors and down passageways that she knew she’d never be able to remember. He shoved his card through the reader and pulled her through, bypassing the first-floor cafeteria.
The elevators seemed to take forever as she waited. Dread pooled in her stomach, making it roil.
“Thank you for coming. I didn’t know if you would,” Luke said. “We hadn’t seen much of the two of you, and Heath mentioned you were working a lot, but… yeah, thanks for coming.”
“You were the one who told them to call me?”
He nodded as the elevator doors opened. “You’re still his wife, right?”
They stepped inside.
“Yes.”
Luke smiled, and though she knew he was Heath’s adopted brother and they looked nothing alike, it reminded her of him so much that her heart ached even more fiercely.
The fifth floor was hushed, only the sounds of monitors and the squeak of Crocs filling the hallways. Most of the doors to the private rooms were closed, so if anyone was talking or watching television, she wouldn’t know.
Her heart raced faster and faster until it felt as though it was sprinting. Her breathing sped up to match it.
“Don’t pass out on me now,” Luke said, stopping to read a chart. He sliced his gaze to her and then back at the chart, his dark brows furrowing as he scanned through it.
“I’m not.” Rubbing her hands together, she forced her breathing to go slow and deep.
“Good.” Luke’s face was grim as he opened the door. “He’s going to be hooked up to some different machines, so don’t be—” His pager went off, and his face went white. “I have to—damn it, not now.”
“Go.” She gave him a little push when he didn’t move. It was clear that he was torn between staying and going wherever he needed to. “Seriously, go. I can handle it.”
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