by Kimi Flores
Even in the darkness, I could see the large Tuscan-style home as we approached. My eyes made their way up to the balcony above that led to Zachary’s bedroom. What I wouldn’t give to wake up next to him in that room.
Damn, I really need to stop thinking like that.
We stepped through the archway of the front door, and as usual, my attention was drawn to the beautiful chandelier attached to the vaulted ceiling. The faint lighting that glowed from the kitchen, filtered through random dangling crystals, making them sparkle. It was a piece of art all on its own. From what I’d heard, it had been handmade by a woman Zachary’s adoptive father, Joel had dated in his younger years. I’d always wondered if there was more to the story, but Zachary didn’t know any other details. And besides the admiration in his eye when he told me about it, Joel never talked about her.
I instantly missed Zachary’s arm as it disappeared from my back. Taking my hand in his, he leaned forward, stealing my breath when he admitted, “I’m sure you’re capable of making it home safe, but you aren’t going anywhere yet.” I thought we’d already moved on from that, but with a sexy wink, he started to walk away. “Let me check on Dad really quick.”
I only nodded. “Please tell him I said goodnight.” I had grown fond of his elderly father, Joel and admired how much Zachary cared for him. As close as they are, you’d never guess they didn’t actually share DNA and hadn’t even met until Zachary was a teen. Joel was a perfect father, blood-related or not.
My body was on fire as I stood in the living room, staring at Zachary’s fine ass as he walked away. I could feel my pulse beating from the top of my head clear down to my freshly painted toes. He’d never demanded anything from me like that before. Every nerve in my body was doing the tango, the salsa, and the cha-cha all at once.
Shaking my head to myself, I draped his jacket on the back of the couch and dropped my purse on the side table. I was probably just jumping to conclusions and needed to calm the hell down. Hoping it would help cool my hormones, I began to look for my little puppy. “Stella, where are you, baby?” I’d brought my six-month-old French bulldog over since she and Zachary’s wheaten terrier, Buddy, loved to keep each other company. Zachary had helped me pick her out of the litter, and it was pretty common for her to come along whenever I visited.
I called for her again, but neither she nor Buddy were in their usual spot, cuddling in his raggedy doggie bed by the fireplace. I walked through the enormous entryway into the dimly lit kitchen and scanned the floor, coming up empty. I had a pretty good idea of where they were, but I hadn’t wanted to presume it was okay for me to head in that direction.
Tracing my fingertips along the grains of the wood dining table, I was just about to step back into the living room when Zachary appeared in front of me, wielding a seductive smile that said he was glad I’d stayed. “They’re probably upstairs in my room.”
I crinkled my nose, still unsure if I was reading his signals right. “That’s what I was just thinking.”
His eyes were unreadable, but I was sure I’d seen lust somewhere in the background, along with his own uncertainty. I was hoping our night might not be over.
Placing the palm of his hand on my lower back, he led us up the curved stairway. My fingers ran along the smooth, cold surface of the wrought iron banister as we went.
The bedroom was dark and smelled like cologne, shampoo, and manly body wash. I imagined what he’d looked like standing in front of his dresser, just showered, with wet hair and a towel wrapped around his waist as he got ready for the wedding earlier.
Now that was a sight I wouldn’t mind seeing.
Zachary flicked the light on, and I spotted both dogs snuggling together on a fluffy blanket in the corner of the room.
A few weeks ago, my little girl had figured out how to get her pudgy body up the stairs. It was hysterical watching Buddy nudge her with his nose until she got to the top. Since then, they tended to gravitate to Zachary’s room. I couldn’t say I blamed them.
Stella yawned as big as she could, blinking and trying to focus in the soft glow of the bedside lamp. Lowering down to my knees, I picked her up and made loud kissing noises on the furry spot between her eyes. “There you are sweetheart.” I rustled the top of Buddy’s head as he lazily looked up. “Did you take care of my baby girl while we were gone?”
As I nuzzled my face into hers, I felt Zachary step closer, towering above me.
“Of course he did.” Sounding confident, he squatted down, took Stella from my hands, and placed her back on the blanket with Buddy, patting both dogs’ heads. “We take care of the things and people we cherish.”
I swallowed hard as Stella reclaimed her special spot cuddled next to Buddy. He raised his head to acknowledge that she was where she belonged, then they both drifted back off into peaceful sleep.
“I meant what I said, Dani. I don’t want you leaving tonight.” His sensual tone set my crazy hormones ablaze again.
Feeling sassy, I brought my chin to my shoulder and looked at him. “Oh yeah? What would you rather I do, then?”
Taking me by surprise, he grabbed my hand and pulled me up with him. Almost touching my mouth with his, he whispered, “Dance with me.”
Dance with him in his delicious-smelling room? Next to his nice, welcoming bed? I hoped his definition of dance was the same as I was envisioning.
I licked my lips. “Here?”
With his eyes ablaze, he lifted an eyebrow and slowly nodded, sparking so many different thoughts in my head. His jaw locked in place and his throat made gentle movements as he swallowed.
There wasn’t a shy bone in my body, but I found myself answering bashfully anyway. “Okay.” My belly swirled in anticipation.
He pulled his cell phone from the back pocket of his suit pants, and I gazed at his face as he scanned through the music player. Once he found what he was looking for, he set the phone on his dresser, then strode toward me just as Tony Bennett’s version of “The Way You Look Tonight” began to croon.
I threw my head back with a giggle, amused that he and his father loved classic jazz musicians like Sinatra and Bennett. He reached for my hand and pulled on my fingertips until our chests were pressed together. When his arms wrapped around my waist, I wasn’t laughing anymore.
Gulping, I placed one hand on the back of his neck, feeling the tiny hairs prickling my fingers. My other hand pressed against his chest as we swayed. We’d danced several times at the wedding reception, but this was different. Maybe it was because our hips slowly rocked back and forth, matching each other’s rhythm. Either way, this was definitely more intimate.
I felt bolder with every move, pressing into him and enjoying the feel of our bodies molded together. Lifting my head, I got lost in his beautiful blue eyes and the sound of him humming the lyrics.
His hands came up and cupped my face as though he was holding something precious. “Dani—”
My heartbeat pounded in my throat. “Yes?”
“You are such a beautiful temptation. So beautiful that my restraint is getting more difficult to hold on to. I don’t know if I can resist you tonight.” His eyes were at war as he spoke those words.
I searched his face, praying he wouldn’t push me away. “Then stop trying to.”
He hesitated just a moment, before I finally felt the warmth of his lips on mine. They were so much softer than I’d imagined and after waiting so long to see what his kisses tasted like, I was instantly addicted.
It took everything I had to not take over as I clung to him. The last thing I wanted was to scare him away. A low groan rumbled in his throat as his lips became firmer and he devoured my mouth. His hands trailed up and down my back, turning me on even more. He seemed unsure how far to go, and I wasn’t having any of that. Pushing my hips into his, I felt how aroused he was.
My entire body was throbbing with need when his hands finally cupped my ass. Now there was no doubt we were on the same page. A gasp escaped my mouth, and I whispered agai
nst his lips, “What about the dogs?”
Why the hell did I just ask that? I wanted to slap myself for breaking our moment.
He snickered, “Of course you would worry about them.” Bending down, he turned the blanket around so they were facing the wall. “They’re asleep. They won’t even know we’re here.”
Backing me up until my behind touched the footboard of his bed, he spoke softly, “Give me a second.” Then he planted an open mouthed kiss to my neck, his eyes never leaving me as he strolled into his en-suite bathroom.
After he closed the door behind him, my head swirled. I was about to sit on the side of the bed when I felt a pinch from the slimming body shaper under my dress. Peeking at the closed door, I heard the water running and knew I was only moments away from being caught in what looked like a junior high wrestling team uniform. Talk about a mood killer.
Quickly stepping out of my heels, I yanked my dress off and fought with the unflattering, damp spandex, petrified that Zachary would be back too soon. What man wanted to come into a room and find his soon-to-be lover’s body wrapped in a sausage casing?
Even though my bra and panties were several sizes larger than the mannequin they’d been displayed on, they were sexy as hell, and I knew he’d love them. I just had to hurry and make sure that was all he saw.
Thankfully, I’d sprayed enough perfume on to mask the sweat coating my skin while I tried to free myself from the clutches of spandex hell. I shimmied my hips back and forth, rolling the damn thing down while fanning my body. This was definitely the least sensual move I’d ever done.
The door opened just as the bunched up stretchy material rolled down and hit my feet. Flustered, I blew a sweaty strand of hair out of my face and kicked what now looked like a deflated hot air balloon under his bed while I placed a hand on the footboard, pretending like nothing unusual had just happened. I prayed he’d focus on the beautiful bra and underwear instead of the creases that torture device had left on my skin.
The suspicious look on his face said he wasn’t buying my faux innocence, but then his eyes roamed my nearly naked body. Years ago, I would’ve felt self-conscious by his appraisal. I’d had body-image issues my entire life. It had taken a long time, but I was at the point where I was comfortable in my own skin. I now embraced my curves. Well, most days, anyway.
By the way his hungry gaze greedily took me in, I knew it wouldn’t take long until his lips and hands learned every one of my curves.
He disappeared back into the bathroom for a second and dropped a few condom packages on the nightstand as he approached me. Touching my face, he whispered, “Are you sure about this?”
Without hesitation and a little too excited, I nodded.
He laughed with relief. “Good, because I can’t stop myself tonight, no matter how hard I try. I need to have you.” The ravenous look in his eyes said the same thing.
“I’m yours.” I blurted. And had been for longer than he knew.
Laying me back on his bed, I felt every move he made, increasing my need for this connection between us. The muscles in his biceps and chest rippled with each movement as he removed his shirt. Tracing the contours of his body with my hands, I couldn’t hold in my moans. His fingertips slowly lowered the straps of my bra as his lips followed the same path. I had to tell myself over and over in my head that this was actually happening.
Each sensational touch, seductive kiss, and hot breath that landed on my skin fueled me forward, to a point far beyond what I’d hoped and dreamed. I was finally allowed to give him all of me—the good, the ugly, and the broken. Along with the pieces I’d saved for only him. I trusted he was going to protect them.
Our time had finally arrived.
⁂
The cool December breeze filtered through the partially open sliding glass door, delicately tossing the curtains in the air. I breathed in the subtle aroma of wet, rich vineyard soil carried in by the gentle wind. Although I enjoyed the scent in the air, I’d much rather have smelled it on Zachary’s skin. Snuggling further into bed and the warm, naked body next to me, I felt so relaxed. I never wanted to leave this spot.
Zachary was still asleep and breathing softly as he lay on his stomach. One arm was draped around my waist and the other somewhere under his pillow. This was the first opportunity I’d had to be this close while watching him rest. He looked so at peace. All his worry lines seemed to smooth out and a hint of a smile sat on his lips. I wondered what he was dreaming about.
Me, I hoped.
His lashes somehow seemed even longer now that they were fanned out above his cheekbones.
I picked up my head to look for the dogs, but the blanket on the floor was deserted. The bedroom door was open wide enough for them to have squeezed through. Resting my head against the pillow, I stared at Zachary again.
I still couldn’t believe we were tucked under the covers, cuddling in his bed after a night I would always remember. When I’d gotten dressed for Bri’s wedding yesterday, I never imagined I’d be waking up this morning, in bed, with the groom's cousin. Well, not just the groom's cousin, but the man I’d been secretly in love with for years.
Everyone around me had recently gotten married and either had children or were pregnant. It had made me feel so alone, but now it was finally my turn.
I risked waking him but couldn’t resist running my fingers through his thick, messy hair. As he continued to snooze, he pulled me closer, resting his scruffy cheek on my bare chest. The heat radiating off our skin normally would’ve bothered me after a while, but I honestly couldn’t get close enough to him. I’d wanted him for so long and was on cloud nine that he’d finally made a move.
His breath tickled my skin as I allowed myself to accept that I was worthy of this moment and all the moments we’d have together from this point forward. No other man had made me think about a future, but with Zachary, that was all I could focus on. We were both in our early thirties and settled in our careers. The next obvious stages in our lives were big ones, but I was ready.
I’d never felt so content.
Zachary started to move, but he kept his eyes shut, squeezing them tight. His body stiffened, and I felt his heart thumping hard in his chest. The arm wrapped around me began to slide away as he flipped onto his back, taking the covers with him. I watched as he stretched his arms above his head, then scrubbed his hands up and down his face.
Something felt off. Even though chill bumps were forming on my skin without the blankets, I was afraid to move. I recognized his body language—it was one of regret. Experience told me he was searching for a way to let me down gently. His hands were still covering his face when he mumbled, “Shit, Dani. I’m so sorry.”
I wracked my brain, trying to figure out what he meant, hoping he wasn’t saying what I thought he was. Oh god, not again. I couldn’t be rejected by him, of all people. It would crush me. Maybe if I just stayed still and gave him time to fully wake up, he’d realize we were meant to be.
That was not the vibe he was giving me, though.
Panicked, I grabbed the edge of the top sheet and yanked at it until I’d gotten enough to cover my body. “What do you mean?” My heart pounded in my ears.
Pressing the side of his fist against his closed mouth as if suppressing the truth from escaping his lips, he continued to clinch his eyes shut tight.
Sitting up, I held the sheet over my chest. “Zachary, look at me.” He turned his head and finally opened his strikingly blue eyes. “What do you mean, you’re sorry?” I heard the tremble in my voice begging him to answer with anything other than remorse.
Leaning up on his forearm, he reached for my fingers with his free hand. “I didn’t mean for this to happen.”
“For us to sleep together?” Or for you to humiliate me this morning?
“I shouldn’t have invited you up to my room. I thought we would find the dogs and I’d take you to the guest room.” He puffed out a breath. “But between all the flirting and that dance, it was like every bit o
f common sense just left me.”
He pounded his fist on the mattress beside him. “Normally, I can fight my attraction to you, but it was too difficult last night. Maybe it was the wedding, or that you looked so damn beautiful standing in my room, willing to do whatever I wanted, but I knew I needed some space between us so I could clear my head.” His teeth gritted together, but I wasn’t sure if he was upset with himself or me. “When I came out of the bathroom, I had every intention of walking you out of my room. I was going to do the right thing, but then I saw you in your lingerie and I just couldn’t.”
“Hold on, are you blaming me for your lack of willpower or are you worried that I think you took advantage of me? Because I don’t think that. I wanted this, too. I have for a long time.” I knew I was begging, but I couldn't give a rat’s ass how desperate I sounded. Self-respect was out the door. All I knew was that my heart was about to shatter into jagged pieces that could never be repaired.
He fell back on the pillow and placed his palms over his eyes. “I know. That’s why I shouldn’t have invited you up here. I’m such a selfish bastard. I stopped thinking about what was best for you and took what I wanted.”
“Wait.” I scooted away and turned so my body was facing him. “Are you saying this didn’t mean anything? All this time, I’ve had feelings for you and this didn’t mean anything to you? And who are you to decide what’s best for me in the first place?”
Huffing, he grunted, “I didn't say that.” He seemed just as frustrated as I felt but none of this made any sense.
I grasped the sheet against my chest, demanding that he explain himself. “What do you mean then, because you’re confusing the hell out of me right now.”
He stared back with a pained expression. “I’m saying this shouldn't have ever happened. I knew better and should’ve kept my fucking hands to myself.”
All of the air left my lungs as my heart completely shattered, along with every fantasy and dream of him that I had held onto. This was the real future for us—regret, shame, and heartbreak. This couldn’t be happening, but—but, it was, and all I could do was sit here, looking like a damn fool, helpless to make it stop.
