Anton's Strength

by R. M. Healy

  “Do you think that’s a good idea?” He asked, stirring his drink. Esther looked at his hand and was amazed at how well his burns had healed so far.

  Although the skin was pink and puckered compared to the rest of his dark skin, it was clear that in a few months, it wouldn’t even be noticeable unless he pointed it out.

  “Don’t you?” She asked.

  There was a long pause, and Esther thought he was about to say no when he turned around, his face guarded.

  “I don’t know.”

  He turned to the sink and washed the spoon, leaving Esther feeling confused.

  “Well, I am going to have a glass of wine and then go to bed. It's up to you if you want to join me.”

  She took a wine glass from the shelf and a chilled bottle of rose wine from the fridge, trying her best to seem casual and indifferent. Leaving him standing by the sink, she turned off the TV in the living room and walked through to her bedroom. If Anton wanted to go, he would go. She wasn’t about to beg him to stay, no matter how much she wanted him to.

  She put her wine on the glass coaster next to her bedside, switched on her small lamp, and used the remote to turn on the television on the wall at the end of her king-size bed.

  Like the rest of the apartment, her bedroom was sleek and modern, decorated grey with white furnishings.

  “Not very personal. It’s not how I pictured your bedroom,” Anton said from the doorway to her right, causing her to jump. He was right. Since the apartment was new and fully furnished when she moved in, she didn’t want to change it. There was no need since she hadn’t planned to live here long term.

  “You’re staying?”

  Anton’s dark eyes watched her for a moment. His lips were drawn into a thin line. He nodded and walked to the other side of her bed, putting his drink down on the bedside cabinet. Esther stripped off her dressing gown and hung it on the door, and turned to walk to her bed. Fully aware, she was still naked, and Anton was intently watching her.

  “I still can’t believe you never wanted to model. Your body is so faultless, and your face uniquely beautiful.”

  Over the years, Esther had heard many compliments about her body, and more than often, she brushed them off and didn’t think anything of it. But now, Anton’s words made her feel enormous pleasure, and she couldn’t help but smile at him as she lifted her duvet and got into bed.

  “I don’t know why you aren’t still modeling Anton,” she said, waiting for him to get into the bed.

  He took off his underpants. Esther’s eye’s widened when she saw his erect length. Casually, he got into the bed, and Esther watched him, resting her elbow on the pillow and her head in her palm as he sat beside her.

  “My agent told me I’d been offered tons of modeling contracts. Some worth more than I’d ever earned in one year, with major brands. Apparently, my scars have made me more of a commodity.”

  Esther was surprised. She never knew he had the option to continue modeling. Although it made sense, he was still darkly handsome and had a huge male and female following. And now, he had something that set him aside from many other models and made him even more unique.

  “I just don’t want to do it any longer. The lifestyle, the ego, the women, the drinking, and drugs. It’s not a part of who I am anymore.”

  Anton looked ahead, his head taking him somewhere else as he finished his hot drink.

  “You can do whatever you want,” Esther said, turning to pick up her wine. When she looked back at Anton, he placed his cup on the side of the bed and looked down at her, a contemplative expression on his face.

  “You’re right. And I plan to have it all.”

  She felt his hand rub her leg under the duvet, and she looked up at him, sipping her wine. He raised his brows, and suddenly he frowned and looked annoyed.

  “I only had one condom.”

  “It’s not even been a half-hour since we did it?” Esther looked at Anton, astounded that he could possibly be ready again.

  “And I’ve been waiting ten years to have sex with you. You think once will be enough?” Anton said, taking the wine from her and putting it on the cabinet. “Do you have a vibrator?” He asked, looking her straight in the eye.

  “Er, yes, why?” She asked, confused.

  “Where?”

  “My bedside cabinet,” Esther said awkwardly, pointing to the one on his side of the bed. It was a strange thing for him to ask, and Esther speculated what he had planned.

  Smirking, Anton opened the drawer and pulled out the dark pink vibrator Esther had treated herself to over a year ago.

  “Turn off the TV and that lamp,” Anton said, rolling over, Esther’s toy in hand.

  He was going to use it on her, and Esther felt herself already dampening below. She did as he asked and switched off the television and then the lamp, leaving the room almost dark.

  A fraction of light shone through the open blinds making Anton still visible in the dim light.

  “I want to hear you when you cum,” Anton said as he threw the duvet off her. When the loud buzz of the vibrator began, Esther felt almost intimidated by the whole situation. Anton took his time with the vibrator, rubbing it along her stomach and further down toward her clit, so close to her clit, yet just not touching it.

  Anton moved and sat over her, one hand using the toy to touch her, his other cupping his manhood, slowly moving up and down his long shaft.

  Esther touched her own breasts as he ran the vibrator up and down her sex, slightly pushing into her opening and then back to her clit again. She was so aroused she couldn’t believe it, never had she tried to orgasm so soon after experiencing one. But there was no doubt Anton was determined to make her.

  “I wish this were my cock,” Anton said, pushing the vibrator deeper, causing Esther to gasp loudly. “But this will have to suffice for now.”

  Watching him, she leaned forward and took him in her own hand, her movements unsteady from her own pleasure.

  The combination of the vibrations and Anton slowly moving her vibrator in and out meant it didn’t take her long to climax, and when she did, she let out a loud satisfied moan. The orgasm was intense but not as mind-blowing as the one she’d experienced on the sofa.

  She was finally able to concentrate on finishing Anton and sat forward, his length touching her breasts as she used both of her hands. He watched her, the moonlight across his dark face as he did, and Esther couldn’t help but admire how strong and manly he looked.

  And he was here, in her bed, enjoying her as much as she was enjoying him.

  His breathing became louder, and his hand ran through her hair as their eyes never stopped focusing on each other. Before long, Anton came, and Esther felt his warm liquid spill onto her.

  He took a few moments to compose himself, and as he did, Esther got up and grabbed a t-shirt from her wardrobe for him to use to clean himself. Turning the light on for her bathroom, she looked back at Anton, who was standing with his back to her as he cleaned himself.

  “Want to join me in the shower?” She asked, a smile on her face as she did.

  “I’d say yes if I trusted myself not to want to fuck you in there. You go first, and I’ll take the cups and find where to wash these,” Anton said, indicating to his trousers and the T-shirt Esther had given him.

  Esther was disappointed, but she didn’t show it. In the shower, she tried to evaluate her feelings about what had happened between her and Anton. But she couldn’t think straight, knowing he was still in the other room.

  What she did know was that whatever was between them was more than just lust. And not only on her side, she genuinely believed Anton cared about her and trusted her.

  He wouldn’t have looked after her as he did when she fell or shown her his scars if that wasn’t the case. But what more could there be than this?

  Both of their lives were unstable now, and for Esther, anything more than a fling was out of the question while her father was sick, and her future at the restaurant wa
s uncertain.

  She knew tonight wasn’t the time to voice any of her thoughts Anton, perhaps in the next day would be more appropriate.

  She dried herself down, and just as she was about to open the door, Anton beat her to it. He didn’t move out of her way and wrapped his arms around her waist and placed a kiss on her head. Esther found the gesture very sweet and looked up and smiled at him, he didn’t smile back, and his nearly black eyes bore into hers as if deep in thought.

  “Help yourself to a towel,” Esther said gesturing to the clean stack next to the shower.

  Anton nodded and let go of Esther’s waist, walking around naked without even attempting to cover his scars like he had been previously.

  It made Esther feel special that he was willing to show himself with such ease around her, and she couldn’t help but smile as she got back into her warm bed. She had planned to get back up and dry her hair and speak to Anton, but her eye’s felt heavy, and it wasn’t long before she drifted off to sleep.

  The delicious smell of coffee filled Esther’s nostrils as she slowly opened her eyes and looked around.

  “Morning, beautiful,” Anton said from her right, sitting on her black leather chair next to her dressing table. He was fully dressed, ready to leave as he drank from his mug.

  “What time is it?” Esther asked as she yawned at sat up against the headboard, pulling the duvet to cover her chest.

  “Very early. I’m meeting my cousin Sebastian at the airport in under two hours to fly to Italy.” Anton had more of his coffee and tilted his head as he spoke again. “I know it’s selfish waking you up, but I couldn’t leave without saying goodbye to you. I made you a coffee in case you wanted one.”

  Esther was glad he’d woken her as appose to leaving without saying a word. She found it sweet that he wanted to say goodbye. And she was extremely grateful for the coffee on her bedside cabinet.

  “I am glad you did,” she said, picking up her drink.

  “I don’t know how long I’ll be gone for,” Anton said, observing her, “But I will come back when you need me.”

  Even though he hadn’t said it, Esther knew he was referring to her father, and she appreciated his offer. In truth, she didn’t want Anton around during her father’s last few weeks.

  His presence and her new undefined feelings for him would make it hard for her to put all her attention where it needed to be, which was with her family.

  “Thanks,” she said, looking away from him and down at her coffee.

  “This, what’s between us? We can talk about it when you’re ready,” Anton said as he stood up and walked toward her, sitting on the edge of the bed beside her. “I don’t know how you feel, and I don’t expect you to tell me. For me, however, I know how I feel about you, and I can promise that I have no interest in any other woman but you. I just want you to know when you’re ready, I am here.”

  He leaned across to where she sat and placed a kiss on her forehead before standing.

  “If you need anything, anything at all, call me,” Anton said, a frown between his dark brows.

  “I will, and if you need anything, you can call me too,” Esther strangely felt emotional knowing he was going. As she watched him walk away, Esther knew she couldn’t let him leave without telling him at least some of what she felt.

  “Anton?” He turned and looked back at her and tilted his head, waiting to hear what she had to say.

  “I like you a lot, a lot. I wouldn’t have done what we did last night if I didn’t. I just want you to know that.” Her words were rushed, and she finished by letting out a deep breath. Speaking about her feelings was rare for her, and it was refreshing to just say it to him.

  Anton nodded, and his smile was small as he spoke, “I know you do. Goodbye, Essie.”

  When she heard her front door shut, she wiped the stray tear from her cheek. The fact he’d gone, and she didn’t know how long for was strangely upsetting too her. She had no idea what would happen between them in the future and where this chemistry between them would lead.

  Chapter Seventeen

  “It’s time for us to say goodbye, Jessica. We will do it together, and you won’t be alone. Ok?” Esther asked her sister as she got closer to her parents’ house.

  “I bought mom tissues because she keeps crying all the time,” Jessica said, looking passive, “She’s sad.”

  Her carers had told Esther to expect Jessica to find it difficult, maybe even removed from the situation. In the last three weeks since Anton had left, her father had stopped eating, walking, and doing the most basic of things. The doctor told them that he wasn’t long for the world and to be ready.

  None of them were ready. Esther’s mother was always on the edge of tears as was her father sister, who was staying in America with her husband, Jae, and Chan.

  The only person who seemed to cope with it well was Jessica. And Esther knew that was only because Jessica didn’t quite understand what was happening.

  “I don’t want him to die Esther. I love dad,” she said, surprising Esther as she stopped the car outside of her parent’s house and took out the key.

  “I don’t want him to die either,” Esther reached over and placed a reassuring hand on her younger sisters and squeezed tightly. She didn’t know what else to say so she didn’t say anything.

  They both got out of the car and walked down the drive. Despite the fact it was only mid-day, the sky was a dark gray color, and the air felt bitter cold on Esther’s face. It was very fitting that the weather was reflective of Esther’s internal sorrow.

  Upon walking into the house, she could sense the atmosphere was just as glum.

  Peter had suggested they move their bed into the living room along with all the necessary equipment he needed to keep him as comfortable as possible. Her mother had been sleeping on a small sofa every night since.

  When they walked into the living room, Esther had to keep her face straight and try not to cry as she saw her father's frail figure in the bed, his face skeletal, showing how close to death he really was.

  “Hey mom,” she said, bending down, and putting her arm around the hunched figure across her father’s bed. As her mother’s sniveling got louder, Jessica sat the other side of their mothing and copied Esther, wrapping her arms around her waist.

  “I hate you being sad mommy, I have got tissues,” she innocently said, taking her purple backpack from her shoulders, and pulling out the small packet.

  Her mother sat back up and continued to cry, but Esther saw the small smile she flashed Jessica as she handed her mother the packet.

  “Thank you,” her mother said, looking back at the man she loved.

  Esther knew her father would never wake up again. That he’d never be able to speak another word. Or that he’d ever flash that smile she’d loved all her life.

  The same smile she’d seen when she first learned to ride a bike, the same smile she’d seen at her first school play, the same smile that had been there for every crucial and vital part of her life.

  Her chin began to tremble, and her eyes were damp as she held back the tears. He wasn’t even dead yet, and Esther felt guilty for having already begun to grieve for him.

  But she knew it was going to happen very soon. Too soon for her mother to accept.

  The three of them sat there for a short while, consoling each other, and when Esther stood, she saw Jessica’s eyes were damp too. She’d debated if it was appropriate to bring her sister here at first but decided to let Jessica determine what she wanted to do. He was Jessica’s father too, and if she wanted to do this, then Esther wouldn’t take that away from her.

  “Are you ready?” Esther asked her sister.

  “Yes, I want to go home now,” Jessica answered nodding. She surprised Esther by walking around to stand beside her father’s head, bending down, she placed a kiss on his cheek.

  “Bye, bye daddy, Esther said you’ll be in heaven with Ron, and I will see you again. Love you,” Jessica kissed his other cheek
and turned back around, the tears in her eyes.

  Her mother’s own sobs got louder, and Esther bent down to hug her, “I’ll be back here as soon as I’ve dropped Jessica home ok? I’m staying here again tonight.”

  The only response her mother gave was a small nod of the head, and Esther rubbed her hand through her hair one last time before getting up and leaving her.

  It was so hard to walk out of the house, knowing her mother was in such a bad condition, but her mother said she wanted some time alone this evening with her soul mate before his sister and her family came later that night.

  Everyone respected her wishes and agreed, they all understood.

  It didn’t make it any easier as Esther drove down the country roads to her sister’s home when all she wanted to do was be there.

  She was relieved to see one of the professional caregivers, Elizabeth, already waiting at Jessica’s home. She was going to stay the night and be there for Jessica, providing the kind of help her sister would need to deal with her own grief.

  “I love you, Jessica, you were so brave today,” Esther said, taking her younger sister into an embrace.

  “You too, Esther,” Jessica replied before getting out of the car and walking down the drive to hug Elizabeth. Esther waved them both goodbye before turning around and heading back to her parents. Her phone vibrated, and she glanced down to see a message from Jae saying his family would be on their way within the hour, just like they had planned.

  It was just as well. Because two hours later, as they all sat around his bed, her father passed away.

  Anton looked out of the window at the blue ocean beneath him. Despite the incredible view from the window and the luxury around him, he was furious. With himself.

  He should have flown back two days ago when Essie had ignored his texts. He should have known then that there was something wrong. Her father was about to die. But if she wanted him there, she would have told him. Something his cousin kept telling him.