Destined to Play, Feel, Fly Trilogy

by Indigo Bloome

  ‘There are other options, sweetheart. Honestly, we can get through this without her blackmailing you.’

  My words and Martin’s actions seem to break something within her as she spins around and lashes out toward me, her small fists pounding against my chest. ‘Don’t you understand, there are no other options.’

  I hold her against me as her bravery dissolves and she bursts into tears, knowing she is fighting an invisible fight, shadow boxing. A fight that we know we can’t both win. I’d do anything for her not to be going through this anguish, not to experience the pain she is being forced to experience. It’s hurting both of us and I vow that Jurilique will pay for putting her through this nightmare. I lower her body back onto the lounge, still holding her tight.

  ‘You must understand that you are not alone in this,’ I say with the same level of intensity, and add with conviction, ‘I will not allow you to hand yourself over to that evil woman, Alexa, under any circumstances. As I said before, it will be over my dead body.’

  ‘God, Jeremy, please … you can’t … The kids … the risk … you have to let me go, you must. I survived once, I’ll survive again.’

  Oh god, this is almost killing me, just as it is breaking her. She is so distraught, so fragile.

  ‘I don’t think you understand me, sweetheart. I’ve lost you to her once. I will never allow that to occur again. I’m sorry it has to be like this, but it is the only way.’

  Her sobbing reaches new heights causing the pain in my chest to intensify as if I’m being stabbed. Her face looks as if she is experiencing the exact same sensation. This is the first time she has reacted this way since receiving the letter, almost as if she is finally giving herself permission to express the distress she must be feeling, knowing the kids now have their father around. She has experienced a watershed, something has broken in her.

  I hadn’t realised she was keeping herself together to that degree for them, but of course she would. That’s what a mother would do, wouldn’t she? Anything to protect her children, and there is no doubt Alexa is a formidable lioness. I’m not a parent but I imagine I’d be exactly the same.

  ‘I must … I have to …’ Her words are muffled as she sobs hard into my chest and all I can do is hold her for as long as it takes. Forever, hopefully. She is the love of my life and I know she won’t be leaving this building until we have worked out a way forward that doesn’t involve her returning to Xsade and walking back into the hands of that psychopath. Even if she hates me for it.

  I’m not sure how long we’ve been entwined in each other’s arms on the lounge by the time Adam deposits two cups of green tea on the coffee table. The kids are squealing in delight in the pool with Robert, and poor Alexa looks like she has been put through an emotional wringer.

  ‘Hi, I’m Adam.’ He stretches out his hand to Alexa as a way of introduction. I feel a little guilty that this hasn’t already happened; it is his place, though these are unusual circumstances and I’m sure he’ll understand.

  She quickly wipes her eyes, her natural politeness kicking in. ‘Hi, I’m Alexa. I’m so sorry about this mess.’

  ‘Not at all. Thanks for sharing your man with me,’ he responds with a cheeky wink. God, could this be any more awkward? Much to my surprise, his acknowledgement makes Alexa smile for the first time in ages.

  ‘My pleasure, Adam. I hope you are enjoying each other.’ She too, gives him a wink with her puffy, tear-stained eyes. This may not be too bad after all, what a relief.

  ‘Would you like me to show you to your room? I thought you might like to freshen up.’

  ‘That bad, hey? Jeez, what a first impression.’ She smiles weakly at him. What is it about gay men and their ability to connect with women? At least she is smiling, that’s more than I could achieve. I keep my arm around her as he shows us to our room.

  ‘How long are you expecting us to be here, Adam?’ Even in the state she is in, she doesn’t miss the opportunity to ask him, not me, in the hope of eliciting some answers.

  ‘That is entirely up to you, my friend.’ Good answer. He shows us to our suite and indicates the fresh towels. ‘Mi casa, su casa. Don’t rush, I’ll be out bonding with the kids.’ With those words he closes the door behind him and leaves us with our green tea, our luggage and each other.

  She looks exhausted, overcome. ‘Please tell me, what are we doing here, Jeremy?’

  ‘I’m sorry you’re not happy about this, sweetheart, honestly I am.’ I smooth a few strands of hair away from her accusing eyes. She no longer has the resolve to keep me at a distance. ‘We need to make some informed decisions about what is best for you and your children and we can’t do that without Robert’s input.’

  ‘And Adam?’

  ‘It looks like he’s as much a part of his life as I am yours, my love.’

  ‘Great. Anyone else you think should be involved? Do you have my parents’ number?’ she adds sarcastically.

  ‘You know I wouldn’t do that without your knowledge, but there is someone else …’ I trail off, not knowing whether now is the best time to mention it.

  ‘Oh god, who?’

  ‘It looks like Moira has located Leo —’

  ‘Leo is coming here?’

  ‘Sometime in the next 24 hours.’

  ‘I don’t believe this!’

  ‘We are here to help, and we will get through this together.’ I go over to place my hands on her shoulders and this time she does have the energy to brush me off. This is not good.

  ‘I need some time alone, J, to thinks things through.’

  ‘We are all here to support you, Alex.’

  She glares at me. ‘Support me in every way except in what I have decided. Yes, believe me, your support is loud and clear — everything on your terms.’

  ‘You’re not going to do anything rash, are you?’ I suddenly can’t keep the concern for her welfare from my voice.

  ‘Can I get out of this apartment without your assistance, or approval?’ she asks acerbically.

  ‘Well, no. Not unless you decided to abseil from the balcony.’

  ‘Exactly, just as I thought. Another ambush and I’m trapped. Again. Well then, no, I won’t do anything rash just yet. I need to think. I’m going to have a shower in an attempt to clear my head.’

  I feel terrible. She has been hurled into the unknown one too many times since she met up with me. I’m not even sure how much more she can take. She’s strong, but the circumstances she has found herself in since our weekend together would be sure to break a weaker person.

  ‘Okay. Good.’ I try to remain calm but I’m not sure the panic I’m feeling on the inside is completely masked. If she were to do anything that involved self-harm … I can’t think like that! It must be old ghosts haunting me and bringing out past fears from being unable to save my own brother. But I know extreme circumstances can create irrational behaviour … No, she’s not like that, it’s not in her psyche. ‘Can I get you anything before I leave you alone?’ I ask gently, concern catching my voice.

  ‘Nothing just yet.’

  Thank god, she finally softens and holds my hand, kissing the back of my hand to let me know there is still hope for us, even though there is pain.

  ‘Don’t take too long though. You know I start to twitch convulsively when I can’t lay my eyes on you.’

  A tired laugh escapes her. I return a kiss on her hand and leave her in peace, at least for a little while.

  I join the others poolside where Adam is entertaining the kids with some form of water volleyball. I kick off my loafers and join Robert, dangling my legs in the water.

  ‘How is she?’ he asks.

  ‘Pretty pissed off at me bringing her here, but I know she never holds a grudge for too long.’

  ‘Yes, thank god for that.’ We both laugh empty laughs, recognising our shared knowledge of Alexa’s personality.

  ‘How serious is it, Jeremy? How much danger is she in?’

  ‘I’m not going to lie to you,
Robert, it’s very serious and she is in real danger. They seem to know our every move. We received another threat this morning before we came here.’

  ‘Shit, really? She’s not considering going, is she?’

  ‘She believes it’s the only way the kids will be safe. She’s not willing to risk anything when it comes to them.’

  ‘I can understand that. But they need their mother. I’m not willing for her to risk anything for that arsehole company.’

  ‘I know, that’s why I need your help to convince her that it’s not an option you’re willing to sanction on the kids’ behalf. Based on what we already know, the children are of no value to Xsade, only Alexa.’

  ‘Can’t she just send some of her blood to them and be done with it?’

  ‘I wish it were that simple. Unfortunately, having conducted their own experiments on her and having hacked into our systems they’re aware that, given certain scenarios, very specific hormones are released into her blood. So they need both her body and her blood to discover what we know.’ I decide not to mention any of the healing characteristics; the fewer people who know that the better.

  ‘Well, we just have to come up with another way. We need to keep her safe. Even though I’m not married to her any more, Jeremy, she still means the world to me and our kids. I couldn’t bear for anything to happen to her.’

  ‘I’m pleased to hear it. We just need to convince her of the same thing.’

  ‘You do know how stubborn she can be?’

  ‘Why do you think I’ve called for reinforcements? I’d never be able to do this alone.’ We share knowing yet concerned smiles.

  ‘Well, we’ll do whatever we can to keep her and the kids safe.’

  ‘Thanks, Robert, I really appreciate your help. By the way, I’ve been meaning to ask, how was London?’

  ‘Let’s just say it was like a homecoming in every possible way,’ he says with a smile that reveals his joy in the decisions he has recently made in his life.

  ‘That’s great, I’m really pleased for you.’

  Pleased for his happiness though still unsure of my own, I lift myself up to go and check on Alexa, when he says, ‘Now we just need to get this mess sorted and everything will be perfect.’

  I look down at him hoping his words are true. ‘Absolutely, that’s the plan.’

  On my way back to our room, I remember I haven’t checked in with Martin regarding the envelope that woman was trying to hand to Alex and backtrack to the lift.

  ‘Hey, Martin, have you opened it yet?’

  He nods. ‘It states that sending her blood alone is an unacceptable proposition and outlines exactly when and where she should be in seven days time before their “campaign” begins.’ He hands me the note.

  ‘Fuck.’ I automatically rub my hands through my hair after having scanned the words.

  ‘I know. It’s not good.’

  ‘What’s not good? Why are you swearing, J?’ Alexa’s voice startles me.

  ‘Oh, sweetheart, there you are. I was just coming in to check on you.’ Her wet hair is slicked back and she is wearing a white cotton robe tied around her waist. Could her timing have been any worse?

  ‘What’s happened?’ She immediately notices the note between my fingers. I anxiously look at Martin, not wanting to hand it over.

  ‘Jeremy, please, don’t insult me.’

  ‘I would never insult you, just promise me you will never go to Jurilique, ever, and it’s yours.’ I can only hope.

  ‘You know I will never do that. Give me the damn note.’ Her voice indicates that she is not to be messed with. There is absolutely no playfulness left, so I reluctantly hand it over.

  She reads it and abruptly collapses to the floor in a crumpled heap as if her legs can no longer bear the terrible weight she carries. She rips the note to shreds as if it is poison in her hands and her entire body starts trembling. ‘What am I going to do? She’ll never leave me alone. Unless we find her, she will find me. We know that’s the truth. She probably knows exactly where I am right now, even after your surprise detour. I can’t take any more of this, I just can’t. I’m captive here and I’ll be captive there. There’s no way out, no end in sight.’

  There is nothing I despise more in myself than being at a complete loss for words or unable to take action. Unfortunately, that is exactly how I feel at this precise moment … utterly redundant. Moments pass as we wonder what will happen next. I don’t know what to say or how to console her.

  Fortunately, Robert walks back inside leaving the kids outside drying themselves with their towels. Alexa looks up at his face and suddenly kicks into gear in a way that shocks us all.

  ‘Right, if you want to know how to support me in the short-term, this is how. Robert, you’re on kid duty as the responsible parent for the next twenty-four hours. Jeremy, I need a drink and make it strong. I need to feel numb for a while.’

  Robert and I both try to speak at the same time before her words and strengthened voice override ours. ‘I don’t ask for much and this is what I’m asking.’ She then adds in the same clear, firm voice. ‘I’m deadly serious. I need a drink. Now.’

  Okay, clearly we have reached breaking point. Robert and I look at each other and nod, knowing full well that if we were in her shoes, we would have demanded exactly the same thing days ago.

  Adam appears, suggesting that we make our way up the spiral stairs to the sun deck and he’ll bring up some drinks. I nod in agreement and attempt to dislodge Alexa from her seated position on the floor surrounded by the scraps of scattered white paper. She appears to have gone back into shock.

  Eventually, realising she is incapable of moving herself, I pick her up in my arms and carry her upstairs away from the children and deposit her on a comfortable sun lounge with a view as far-reaching as the eye can see. She has her swimmers on under her robe. She must have been going out to join the kids.

  I’d go down and fetch a hat but I don’t want to leave her in this state so high up, given the nothingness in her face. This whole situation has finally taken its toll, become too much. I think back to being at my hotel, One Aldwych in London, just after she had been abducted. All I wanted was a drink to numb the pain. How can I condemn her for wanting the same thing? Her body is immobile so I gently push her head back and stretch out her legs so she is fully relaxed on the lounge, as I wait anxiously in the silent breeze for Adam.

  Finally, he arrives with two Long Island Iced Teas. I raise my eyebrows, questioning his choice.

  ‘Well, she did say strong. Here’s the intercom if you need anything else.’

  I thank him for the drinks and wave one in front of AB’s face to get her attention.

  ‘Your drink, m’lady,’ I try to say as light-heartedly as possible. She finally comes out of her trance and takes hold of the long glass, rips the straw out along with the umbrella Adam has decorated it with, and gulps it down. This could get very messy, very fast. She draws breath only to repeat her action, downing three-quarters of the drink in record time. I have to physically prevent myself from stopping her by removing my added extras and taking a sip as well. Finally, she makes eye contact.

  ‘This is good.’ And polishes off the rest. ‘I’d like another.’ She looks directly at mine and I deliberately take a huge mouthful before handing it over. Bloody hell, it’s strong even for me.

  ‘Promise me, you’ll at least try to sip it?’ I add hopefully but to no avail.

  After about ten minutes of silence between us, with me anxiously awaiting her next move, she finally speaks. ‘Ah, that feels so much better.’ She picks up the intercom. ‘Hi, Adam, that was perfect. Would you mind making another just like it? Excellent, thanks.’ I can tell by the look on her face that she is enjoying my reaction to her shenanigans. ‘What a great guy Adam is, don’t you think?’

  ‘Yeah, he is. Looks like you two will get along just fine.’

  ‘Don’t look so disheartened, Jeremy, I’m meant to be the one feeling that and for the next fe
w hours I just want to forget about everything. Otherwise my brain and heart may implode. Can you do that for me?’

  She discards her robe and I’m left with the breathtaking vision of her curvaceous body in a retro, red halter-neck bikini, soaking up the sun. For someone under so much stress, she looks stunningly gorgeous. If anything, having kids has given her body more shape and her breasts look sensational. I can’t believe my dick instantly springs to life. I feel like a teenager with the impact she has on me.

  ‘Yes, I will always do anything for you, sweetheart.’

  She scoffs. ‘Only if it is aligned with what you want.’

  ‘And you know that what I want is always what is best for you.’ I kiss the top of her forehead. ‘I’m just going to get your hat, sunglasses and your next round of beverages. Stay put.’

  ‘Where else could I go?’

  When I return with a tray holding the drinks, some Lebanese bread, tzatziki dip and sunscreen, Alexa is nowhere to be seen. Her robe is still on the sun lounge, but she has vanished. I slam down the tray on the side table and quickly scan the area. Shit, please no. Not again. My stomach goes into free fall. I have been gone less than five minutes. I race around the structure where the stairs come up from the apartment, then to the other side, my heart pounding in fear.

  Nothing. No one. I run to the edge of the balustrade and look below, hoping, knowing she would never jump. It’s not in her nature. I scan the sky with the fleeting thought that maybe a helicopter has scooped her away, not that I heard any noise. Oh, god, no. Please, this can’t be happening again.

  Then suddenly I feel her fingers pinch my butt and I turn around in a frenzy to grab hold of her with all my life, sheer relief mixed with angst and anger at her antics. She tries to run, but I capture her around her waist and haul her over my shoulder.

  ‘Never — do — that — to — me — again!’ I slap her butt on each word, and she is screaming and laughing as I unceremoniously dump her beautiful body back on the sun lounge. ‘I swear to god, Alexa. You just about gave me a heart attack.’

  She’s laughing uncontrollably now; once she starts, she always finds it hard to stop. Still beside myself with fear, adrenaline surging through my veins, I quickly pick up the tie from around her robe and deftly wrap it around her wrists, tying each of her hands to the side of the lounge.