Mishap Marriage

by Helen Dickson

  Shona might have stood there for a long time without moving if some animal instinct of Zack’s had not made him sense someone’s presence.

  ‘Zack—I hope you don’t mind me coming here?’

  At the sound of her voice he turned his head slightly and she saw the stern pride stamped on that lean profile, his jaw as rigid as granite. In the agonised silence he looked at her for several seconds, his face preoccupied and stony—he looked like a man in the grip of a nightmare.

  Shona moved towards him, her heart going out to him. ‘I’m so sorry about Victoria. I had to come.’

  His head came up and he peered at her. Clothed in a dark green gown, her hair bound with a ribbon in a single heavy fall down her back, she was like a pale ghost haunting the night.

  ‘Shona?’ Zack mouthed her name, his gaze becoming fixed on her face, then he was striding across the room and she was in his arms. He crushed her to him, his anguish so great, so tearing, that it carried him beyond all boundaries. He was totally unprepared for the feelings and the emotions that almost overwhelmed him. He continued to hold her, trying to absorb her body into his. They stayed like that for a long time. He was feeling all the tautness slowly draining from his muscles.

  Shona was too deeply moved to speak. After what seemed like an eternity she raised her head and looked at him, loving him, her eyes moist with tears. ‘I would like to stay—if you don’t mind.’

  ‘I’d like you to,’ he replied, his voice hoarse with emotion. Placing his hands on either side of her face, he gently kissed her lips. ‘I’m glad you’re here. Thank you for coming.’

  ‘How could I not? How is Victoria?’ She stared into his pain-filled eyes. They were bloodshot, his lids heavy, stark evidence of his tortured night as he had kept vigil over his beloved daughter.

  ‘The doctor says she is over the worst. It was some kind of fever. There are always fevers in children— fevers with names and many without. There was nothing to be done, the doctor said, but to let it run its course. Luckily Victoria is well nourished and stronger than most children.’

  Remembering the little girl she had seen in the park—a bonny-spirited, healthy child with the rounded cheeks and plump limbs of the well fed—she felt a lump come into her throat and her heart turn over with pity.

  ‘How did you know to come here?’ Zack asked.

  ‘I called at the house, wanting to surprise you. Instead I was the one to be surprised when I arrived and found you were not there. Miranda told me what had happened and so I came here.’

  ‘And here I was thinking you would be halfway to Berkshire by now.’

  ‘I decided not to go. I couldn’t. I couldn’t leave things as they were between us.’

  Seeing her concern, Zack closed his fingers around her arms. ‘Shona—will you please tell me what this is all about?’

  She hated having to confess, but it didn’t matter any longer how she humbled herself before him. She started to explain, but her throat was so tight she found it hard to speak. ‘After the theatre, when...when I got to thinking about everything—the awful things we said to each other last night—I realised I might have given you the impression that I didn’t want Victoria. If I did, then I am so very sorry, Zack. The truth is that I was confused. I suppose I was jealous of Caroline. I—I thought you might still have feelings for her despite your denial—and that perhaps you are sorry you married me.’ With tears not far away, Shona pulled her arms from his hands and turned from him.

  Zack frowned, as though puzzled himself. Standing behind her, he put his hands gently on her shoulders and drew her to his chest. ‘If you mean do I wish I’d married her, I don’t,’ he murmured, his mouth touching the crown of her head just where the thick golden hair parted. You’re the only woman I ever wanted to marry—believe me, my darling. You have nothing to fear. I feel nothing for Caroline. You must believe that. Please forgive me if I gave you that impression.’

  With a convulsive movement she turned and flung herself into his arms, which tightened about her once more. Her head tucked itself beneath his chin and her face pressed itself into the curve of his throat.

  ‘You wonderful, brave, incredibly beautiful woman,’ he murmured against her hair. ‘How could you think that? I never wanted to hurt you. It is you I love, Shona. How could I not love you? I love you more than anything on earth.’

  Shona’s breath caught in her throat and, raising her head, she looked up at him, suddenly feeling happy and secure. All the doubts and fears of the past days—weeks and months, even from the first time they had met on Santamaria—were gone. ‘But—you never told me.’

  ‘That’s because it took me a while to realise it,’ he said tenderly. ‘And then there was so much going on between us that I was afraid to mention it until I was sure I stood a chance of winning your regard. I do love you, my darling Shona. Very much.’

  Shona believed him, but the thought of Caroline would not go away. ‘But—what about Caroline?’

  ‘I’ve told you. She means nothing to me. It is you I want by my side for the rest of my life. Not Caroline.’

  Hearing the gentleness in his voice, Shona drew back to search his rugged face. Sunlight slanting in through the windows highlighted his thick hair and increased the sharp clarity of his eyes, making it impossible for her to deny the love she saw there. She took a steadying breath, daring to believe. ‘I thought I had lost you,’ she whispered, a break in her voice, ‘and I couldn’t bear it.’

  His mouth curved with amusement. ‘Is that why you were going to Berkshire?’

  ‘Partly.’

  ‘Then let me put your mind at rest. Last night when I left you I did some serious thinking. I realised that I wanted you. I was just about to leave the house to return to you when someone came with a message from Mrs Young informing me about Victoria.’

  ‘If only I had known. Has—has Victoria’s mother been to see her?’

  He shook his head, combing his hair back from his forehead. ‘Not yet.’

  ‘But—she has been informed of her daughter’s illness?’

  ‘Of course, but Caroline is a selfish wretch. I never knew how much until today. Ever since Victoria was born she’s never shown any maternal instincts as a mother should. I cannot fathom what goes on inside her head, what makes her like she is. Perhaps it’s a result of frustration caused by her strict upbringing, followed by a forced marriage to the equally strict and formidable Lord Donnington. Or maybe it’s some flaw inherited from her family that has made her like she is. But she’s not a bad person and would never hurt Victoria.’

  Suddenly Shona glimpsed in his eyes the pain of a man deeply wounded by what he saw as Caroline’s betrayal of her daughter. She tried to conceal the shock she felt, unable to understand how a woman could disregard her child when she most needed her, but without success.

  ‘You made me aware of what happened between the two of you, Zack. That is not my concern. My concern is for your daughter, and to my mind a small child should be with its mother.’

  Zack’s lips curled scornfully. ‘Normally that would be the case, but nothing Caroline has done since Victoria was born has been normal.’

  ‘I’m beginning to realise that—but to abandon one’s own flesh and blood in such a callous manner is not right. Does she not realise that what she is doing is sheer wickedness?’ Shona burst out, unable to conceal her anger at the woman.

  ‘I am aware of that, Lady Harcourt,’ a woman’s voice rang out from across the room. ‘However, you may think of me what you like, but where Victoria is concerned, regardless of how it looks, I do care about my daughter.’

  Zack stiffened when he looked round and saw Caroline hovering in the doorway. Elegantly arrayed, tilting her chin in her usually proud manner, she slowly moved into the room.

  ‘So you have finally decided to come and ask after Victoria,
Caroline. I trust you slept well.’

  Caroline was doing her best to remain steady in the face of what she thought would be a battle. She could see it on Zack’s face and in his eyes, which were cold and as brittle as broken glass.

  Shona moved away from him. ‘Excuse me. I’ll step outside while you talk.’

  ‘No.’ Zack gripped her arm. ‘Stay, Shona. You are my wife and I would like you to hear whatever Caroline has to say.’ His cold eyes settled on Caroline. ‘What the hell does it take to make you love Victoria?’

  ‘I’m sorry. I’ve been out of town and have only just got back. I had no idea Victoria was ill. You must believe that. I would have come right away had I known. Mrs Young has told me she is over the worst—thank God.’

  ‘Indeed,’ Zack ground out coldly. ‘When children fall ill it is dealt with reasonably and one does not evade one’s responsibilities. Her illness and your lack of concern makes me all the more determined to have her with me. Unfortunately there is no legal way to adopt a child in England, but I should tell you that I am seeking to obtain legal custody as Victoria’s guardian through the courts.’

  Caroline looked at him, turning his words over in her mind, then she nodded. There was something new in her eyes—remorse. ‘I won’t contest it. You have my word. I will sign whatever papers are necessary. I know what I have done is wrong—that I have not been the best mother.’

  ‘Too damned right you haven’t,’ Zack bit back, surprised to see her eyes glazed with what he thought must be tears. ‘What’s this, Caroline? Regret?’

  Caroline paled and looked strangely meek and humble. ‘It’s a terrible thing—regret,’ she replied with a break in her voice. ‘It plagues you—never leaves you alone. I’m not proud of the way I’ve treated our daughter.’ She looked at Shona in beseeching appeal. ‘I had wondered if Zack had told you about Victoria and now I know. I hope you love her as sincerely as if she were your own. I hope you will allow me to write to her on occasion—that I can still see her. I would be grateful. You won’t stop me doing that, will you? I am still her mother when all is said and done.’

  Shona met her gaze. She had expected to feel a stab of painful jealousy on coming face-to-face with the woman whose child had become her stepchild, but she felt nothing other than a profound pity and a new understanding. Before her was a woman whose life had been shaped by a strict upbringing. Her parents, with their toe in the door of society and meaning to get themselves firmly inside, had forced their daughter into marriage with an austere, impotent old man she did not even like. These were not qualities to recommend him to a young girl whose heart and mind would be full of dreams and yearnings of handsome, virile young men who would sweep her off her feet.

  It was easy to see how, in a moment of weakness, all the loneliness that was past and still to come had flooded up within her, bursting out of her control. And Zack had been there to take her in his arms, trying to soothe and comfort her until they had settled their wants and needs in the age-old way. She must have suffered all the torments of the damned when she had produced a child as a result of that one weakness. Her husband, refusing to acknowledge its existence to avoid scandal and shame, had made her cast the child aside.

  Seeing the pain and sadness in the other woman’s eyes, Shona said nothing for a moment, then she nodded. ‘We are not here to indulge in the rights and wrongs of the situation and it is not my place to judge you, Lady Donnington. Victoria has to be our main concern and I give you my word that when she is well and Zack brings her to live with us, she will be loved and cared for. You will be able to see her whenever you wish.’

  ‘Thank you,’ Caroline said, meeting Shona’s eyes directly. ‘I think you really mean that.’

  ‘Yes, I do.’

  ‘I do appreciate that. I don’t think I could be so generous, were I in your position.’ On a sigh Caroline turned from them. ‘I’ll go and see Victoria.’ At the door she turned and looked back, her dimples once again in evidence. ‘I should tell you that Robert has asked me to marry him. I have accepted, of course. Our betrothal is to be announced in The Times tomorrow. Will you wish me well, Zack?’

  Zack smiled sardonically. ‘Your marriage is not high on my list of reasons to celebrate just now, Caroline. But, yes, I do.’

  When Caroline had left them, transfixed, Zack stared down at his wife sagely, a flash of pride in his eyes. He was strangely moved by what she had just done. ‘That was very noble of you, Shona. You are an extraordinary woman.’

  The compliment warmed her. She couldn’t mistake the approval in the tender smile Zack gave her. It was reward enough, she decided, for her efforts to quell her jealousy. ‘And you are an extraordinary man.’ She smiled and laid her head against his warm, strong chest. ‘Most people would not have allowed me to say that to her when we had not even been introduced.’

  ‘Well,’ he said slowly, as though carefully choosing each word, ‘I suppose everything happens for the best. I’ve been bitter ever since Victoria was born and I was unable to give her a proper home—but now I can see the good that can come out of it. I hope Caroline appreciates your generosity.’

  Shona sighed, the firelight casting shades of gold across her pensive face. ‘Have I really done the right thing? You are not angry with me?’

  ‘Far from it,’ he murmured, taking her hand and kissing her fingers. ‘Caroline is still Victoria’s mother. I would not deny her the right to see her. Although she might have to wait a while. When Victoria is well enough I’m planning to take her down to Harcourt Hall. Some country air will be good for her. It will also be a chance for the two of you to get to know each other.’

  Shona smiled. ‘I would like that. I look forward to meeting her. I hope we can be friends.’

  ‘You will be. She won’t be able to resist you.’

  She looked up lovingly into his silver-grey eyes. His tender words inspired her. ‘Might we stay there for a while? London holds no attraction for me just now and I do so love the English countryside.’

  He grazed his knuckle along the curve of her cheek. ‘I don’t see why not. We need time together and my business can be conducted from Harcourt. Besides, it is your home now. Our home.’

  Shona kissed his lips lightly. ‘Thank you, Zack. It would seem that everything has been resolved happily at last.’

  ‘The happiest thing of all is that Victoria will recover and the situation between us has been resolved,’ he answered, the scent of her perfume making his senses reel. The glow from the fire was shining on her, warming her eyes. He had never wanted her more and he longed for the moment when they could be together in the privacy of their room and he could awaken all that was sensual in her nature. ‘I do not deserve you. I’m sorry, Shona. Last night I spoke in bitterness and anger, wounding you without meaning to. If I had driven you away, it was only what I deserved—especially after what I did to you on Santamaria...’

  ‘Hush,’ she whispered, putting her fingers on his lips to silence him. ‘It is in the past.’

  ‘When your brother insisted that I should marry you, I was repulsed by the very idea of having my life laid out and being forced to commit to something I had not thought of myself. Yet much as I wanted to rebel against it, I found myself wanting you, more than I have wanted anyone or anything in my life.’

  Shona’s heart soared and his confession brought a smile to her lips. Nothing else mattered but the fact that he wanted her, that she was his wife and she was not going to lose him. Her life was so complete and wholly absorbed in him.

  Epilogue

  One week later Shona looked at the pretty little girl clinging to Zack as he carried her into his brother’s house. She was an extremely pretty child. Her dark brown hair fell in gentle waves about her oval face, which was pale and delicate following her illness. Her brown eyes fringed with sooty-black lashes were searching Shona’s intently. Praying si
lently for acceptance, Shona smiled softly, gently touching her cheek, hoping to put her at ease.

  ‘Hello, Victoria. I’ve been looking forward to seeing you so much. Your father’s told me all about you. I do hope we can be friends.’

  ‘This lady is my wife, Princess—your stepmother,’ Zack explained gently.

  Victoria looked at Shona a little uncertainly. She didn’t see her own mother very much and was unsure what a stepmother was. A little smile began to appear at the corners of her mouth. She seemed to be assessing her. When her eyes ceased to regard her so seriously and her smile gradually broadened, which was a delight to see, Shona began to relax. It also brought a relieved smile to Zack’s features, which told Shona how apprehensive he had been about this meeting between herself and his daughter.

  It really was a breathtaking smile that lit up the child’s face. In the dimpling creases in her cheeks, in the lovely directness of her gaze, Shona could clearly see Victoria’s resemblance to Zack.

  Victoria looked up at her father and said very softly, ‘Can I be the lady’s friend, Papa?’

  ‘I think she would like that.’ His eyes twinkled at his wife.

  ‘What shall I call her?’ Victoria asked with a little frown creasing her pretty nose.

  Sitting beside her husband and taking Victoria’s hand in hers, Shona said, ‘Why don’t you call me Shona? I would like that.’

  ‘That’s a pretty name,’ Victoria replied. ‘Shona.’

  Shona sensed that Victoria hadn’t known much kindness in her short life—only that shown to her by Zack and Mrs Young. And she was right. Victoria didn’t understand the significance of this strange woman’s relationship to her father. But her presence and her soft words had a comforting effect on her and she smiled, her soft pink lips opening like a tiny rosebud.