Finding Home

by Maddie James

  ****

  Twilight arrived in Legend that night with an aura of pomp and circumstance. Out-of-county cars lined Main Street and spilled onto First, Second, Third, Fourth, and Jacobs Streets as well. People of all ages milled around, buying hot cocoa off makeshift vending carts, looking in the store windows. But people weren’t inside the stores. Everyone—absolutely everyone—was outside waiting for the lights to come on.

  Midnight stood at the base of the east steps of the Old Meeting House. The mayor was going to make a speech. A very brief one, he had promised. And then he’d flip the big fake switch, and all the store owners would turn on their individual switches for the hundreds of thousands of fairy lights that outlined all the buildings. And Tom, the city street superintendent, would turn off the street lights along Main. It would be awesome. She sincerely hoped.

  “Hey.”

  She turned to her right. “Hey, Daniel! I was missing you.” She grabbed his hand without thinking that a thirteen year old might be embarrassed by that, or might pull away. He squeezed her hand a little.

  “It’s exciting tonight, huh?”

  “Oh my yes. I’m a nervous wreck.”

  “You?”

  “Yeah, me. Why not? I’m kind of in charge of this whole thing. If it goes wrong, it’s on me.”

  “It won’t go wrong. It’s gonna be great.” His beaming smile reassured her.

  “Hey, Daniel. You beating my time with the lady?”

  She looked to her left and there was Martin. He took her other hand, held it in his large warm one and gave it a little squeeze.

  “This is going to go great, you know.” She felt his finger playing with her emerald-and-diamond ring as he spoke.

  “You’re not nervous, I take it?”

  “No reason to be. Miz Midnight Shelby has it all under control. Nobody here is nervous. We have total confidence in your ability to bring this off.”

  “Oh. Good.” Deep breaths became her focus.

  The mayor’s speech was short, and made conspicuous mention of Midnight. Legendarians applauded loudly, and Midnight surprised herself by blushing. The fake switch worked perfectly: the store owners turned on their lights at the appropriate moment (including Betsy taking care of The Emporium’s), and Tom shut off the Main Street lamps at the same time. It was, indeed, awesome. Everyone applauded, except Martin, who took that opportunity to sweep Midnight into his arms and kiss her tenderly, with an edge of passion. She kissed him back tentatively, hopefully. Suddenly everything felt right to Midnight. She could see the scene as if from an outsider’s vantage point: Midnight Shelby in a beautiful little town she’d grown to love, surrounded by people she… Yes. Surrounded by people she loved. Including, very particularly, Martin McClain, the bullheaded old-fashioned stick-in-the-mud who had somehow managed to steal her heart. Being in this moment with him, and with Daniel within arm’s reach, made her feel like part of a family again.

  Then her view of The Moment ended. The kiss was too brief, but she was left with a hope for more. Much more. Suddenly everyone was hugging Midnight, congratulating her and each other, slapping Martin and Daniel on the back. All the shop owners went into their stores and the potential customers started making their way down the elegantly lighted thoroughfare to sample the local offerings. Midnight and Daniel hurried to The Emporium so Betsy wouldn’t be there alone. Martin arrived a moment later and quickly learned to make Legend by Starlight.

  “Irish crème?” he asked when she showed him how to measure it in. “Oh yeah. You got the liquor license with this place. I forgot. I doubt Irish crème has been a traditional big-seller within these old walls. Do I get to try one?”

  “Not now. The staff needs to be sober. It’s a busy night.”

  “I’m not staff. I’m a volunteer.”

  “They need to be sober, too. Later.” She busily poured sugared coffee, measured liqueur, dolloped whipped cream and sprinkled chocolate stars for the customers lining up.

  “Later? Promise?” He caught her eye, her hand, played with her ring waiting for a response.

  She looked at him straight-on, raised one eyebrow a little as she said, “Promise.”

  Chapter Thirty-Three

  The meeting with the architect lasted a lot longer than Brad had expected. Again. He’d told Suzie not to wait up for him. Dinner would probably be ready. She’d been great that way for the past week. Breakfast every morning. Dinner waiting for him. She was a gem. Thing was, since that night they’d spent together, she’d no longer allowed him in her bed.

  She needed space. He figured given how she felt about the whole hotel business, he’d muled his way into her life and upset the apple cart. She wasn’t prepared to deal with the possibility of a relationship and the intrusion of the new hotel into Legend lifestyle. He’d had months to figure things out. She, on the other hand, had not. So he’d give her time and space if that was what she needed.

  His days were busy, though. Good thing. Kept his mind off sex.

  Besides meeting with the architect, a contractor and even the local employment agency, he’d started thinking about marketing. Martin McClain’s girlfriend Midnight also had some fantastic ideas about promotion and he’d met with her about the Market Legend campaign. Martin’s son had made a preliminary commitment to build his future website, which excited him to no end.

  Things were moving along quite nicely.

  He’d borrowed Suzie’s Honda for the day because of the paperwork he was carrying around. He pulled up the short lane in the boxy vehicle and looked for any signs of her. A quick glance at his watch told him it was almost nine o’clock. No light shone from her window at the back of the house.

  In the kitchen he found a note on the cooking island. Dinner in the fridge, it read. Hope your day was good. Talk to you in the morning. I’m pooped.

  Frowning, he crumpled the note. He could give her space but he didn’t expect to be ignored. This was the third night in a row she’d holed herself up in her bedroom.

  Tossing the wad of paper at the garbage can, he turned and took the stairs to his bedroom. To hell with dinner.

  ****

  A flurry of last minute guests left Suzie busy the whole week and secretly, she’d been glad of it. Midnight’s Legend by Starlight was almost her undoing. She was hosting a craft expo at The Emporium and all of the crafters needed a place to stay. Which was very, very good.

  For business and for her sanity.

  She made breakfast every morning at seven and a light brunch around ten-thirty for those who lingered late. The continental buffet was set up in the dining room and guests helped themselves.

  Then there was cleanup—the kitchen, the guest rooms, the house in general. And yard work. She couldn’t neglect her yard and plants.

  Of course, there was always the cookbook. An agent had loved her book proposal and was interested in representing her. She had options.

  And Brad. She was masterful at neglecting him, it seemed, and she sensed his frustration. She had to come to closure with all this soon, figure this thing out, or Lilly would be right. He’d turn tail and run faster than a frog on a fly, and the choice would no longer be hers.

  The bacon frying in the pan crackled and hissed, sending that sharp, smoky scent her way. Home. It reminded her of home. Wasn’t that all she ever wanted? To be happy and content with a family and a home of her own?

  It was Friday and she’d loved this entire, busy week. Yes, it was hectic, but it was hers. This was what she wanted to do with the rest of her life. Run her little B&B. She didn’t want to be a sous chef. Even though she was damn good. Even though she loved Brad (yes, dammit, she did) she didn’t want to cook beside him anymore. Not at the hotel. She wanted him to be in her life.

  There. She admitted it.

  What a wimp! Suddenly she realized she’d all along been holding all the cards. She was the one making the choices for both of them. Brad had not been given a chance. Lilly was right. Brad needed to know her thoughts on everything. She�
�d been holding back, probably because she was afraid, deep down, of losing him.

  That she could never measure up. Like with Cliff. She could never please the man.

  But Brad was nothing like Cliff.

  Well, she’d have to suck it up and deal with it. She couldn’t go on like this any longer and neither could he. He needed to know exactly how she felt about the lodge, her not being a sous chef, the B&B, and the baby situation. He had to know.

  “Bacon sure smells good.”

  Startled, Suzie looked up from where she lazily pushed around half-cooked slices of bacon. Brad reached over, plucked a piece draining on a paper towel, smiled at her and placed a quick kiss on her cheek. Then, he put one end of the bacon in his mouth, the other end sticking out toward her. “Here, have a bite,” he muttered.

  She smiled and rubbed her tummy. She felt queasy this morning. Yesterday, too.

  “Quit playing around and eat it.”

  He moved closer and pointed to the bacon. “Take a bite,” he mumbled.

  Sighing, Suzie relaxed. “Okay,” she smiled and stepped closer. Brad put his hands on her hips and tugged her to him. Her arms fell naturally over his shoulders. She took the bacon into her mouth and bit off a piece, barely grazing his lips, and chewed.

  Brad’s face was close. Hell’s bells, she loved those dark eyes.

  “You do good bacon, sweetheart.”

  “I do good lots of things,” she countered, still chewing.

  That bad-boy grin returned and he pulled her in tight. “Yes, my love. You do.”

  Love.

  About the time she swallowed the bacon, he captured her lips with his in a gentle caress. Leaning into him, for the first time in nearly two weeks, Suzie let herself enjoy the sensual play of his lips on hers. They broke the kiss after a second and she laid her head on his shoulder. His arms came around her and he held her close.

  “I’ve missed you,” he whispered in her hair.

  Squeezing her eyes tight, she once more fought back tears. “I’ve missed you, too.”

  Talk to him, Suzie. This is the time. The door is open. Now or never.

  Brad pulled back and pointed his thumb toward the dining room. “You’ve got a hungry crowd gathering out there. Want me to help you get the meal out this morning?”

  Suzie looked at his face, studied the ever-present, slightly crooked smile, and knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that she was a goner. She smiled back. “I would like that very much.”

  ****

  “Sure is quicker getting things cleaned with you around.”

  Brad glanced up from his dishwashing to the kitchen island where Suzie bagged leftover muffins and croissants. “I bet. We always were a good team.”

  She nodded, averting her gaze to her task. “I think everyone ate a full breakfast this morning, so I shouldn’t have to put out too much on the buffet for the stragglers.” She popped another muffin into the bag. “Could be enough bread here to make a nice bread pudding tomorrow.”

  Brad flung excess water from his hands into the sink then dried them on a nearby towel. They did work together well, didn’t they? But why was she avoiding the subject? Turning, he rested against the sink and crossed his arms across his chest, watching her.

  Waiting her out was one thing. But she, too, had to participate in this game.

  “We’re good for each other, Suzie-Q.”

  “What do you think of the blueberry ones? Have you tasted them yet? It’s a new recipe and I think I have it perfected for the cookbook, and—”

  Brad stepped forward and reached for her hands. “Suzie, stop. Look at me.”

  Gradually, she stopped stuffing the bread in the bag and looked up. One look in her eyes told him loads. She was scared. Dammit! Why was she scared?

  “What’s wrong, sweetheart?”

  She plopped on a bar stool behind the kitchen island, keeping her hands in his. “We are good together, Brad. I know that.”

  “Then what’s wrong?”

  She jumped up and jerked her hands away. “What’s wrong? Can’t you see? We don’t have any of this worked out, we’re both avoiding it, and…and, hell’s bells mostly it’s because I…” She turned her back on him.

  Shit. Don’t clam up on me again.

  Brad rounded the kitchen island. “Suzie, dammit, talk to me. I need to know what you are thinking, what you are feeling. This is driving me freakin’ nuts. I can’t go on much longer wondering what in the hell you want. Whether you are going to allow me into your life or not.”

  She whirled back around. “Okay! All right. I don’t want to be your sous chef!”

  He stared at her, hands on hips. What? “Then why didn’t you tell me that?”

  Her shoulders fell and one hand went to her tummy, rubbing it. “I don’t want to be your sous chef and I don’t want to have anything to do with the hotel and I don’t want to give up my bed and breakfast.”

  She went pale. All at once Brad noticed the dark circles under her eyes. This was wearing on her a lot more than he’d realized. “Suzie, it’s okay. I know you are upset about the lodge. But do we have to let that come between us? And who said you’d have to give up the B&B?”

  “No one said it, Brad,” she bit out. “But if you have this big monster hotel across the lake, who is going to want to stay here in my humble little house?”

  “Lots of people! You will provide them an entirely different experience!”

  She shook her head and then leaned against the kitchen island, rubbing her forehead. “Yeah, right.”

  “Are you okay?”

  “Fine.”

  “It’s all just fine, Suzie, isn’t it?” He paced sharply around the kitchen island and spun on his heel back to her. His voice rose. “The hotel is as important to me as your damn B&B is to you. So get over it. It’s going to happen.”

  Oh, that was likely not the best comeback.

  “The damn B&B?” She shot off her chair. “This damn little B&B is my life. It’s all I have. I need it to survive!”

  He gripped her upper arms. “Hold it. Is that all you need to survive? This old clapboard house on the lake? I sure was hoping you needed a helluva lot more than that, Suzie. I was hoping you needed me.”

  She opened her mouth to say something then evidently thought better of it. All of a sudden, like the wind being yanked out of her sails, she sank onto a bar stool. He released her arms.

  He cupped her chin in his hand. “Suzie, that’s all I need to know…do you want me in your life?”

  Immediately, her eyes grew misty. “Brad, I…yeah, but…”

  The rapid-fire crescendo ring of his cell phone suddenly split the air about the same time big fat tears rolled down her face. A deep throated sob echoed across the kitchen.

  He ignored the phone.

  “Talk to me, Suzie. Let’s get this all out.”

  “There is just…so much…to sort out!” she blubbered.

  “We’ll do it, sweetheart.”

  The ringing again cut through their argument.

  She turned away, sobbing. “Oh, hell, answer it!”

  At a loss, he didn’t know what to do. He’d never seen her in this kind of emotional state before. What was going on?

  He snapped open the phone and barked into it. “Yeah?”

  Suzie took the moment to gather her wits about her. What the hell was going on with her? Why was she crying like a whimpering idiot? This wasn’t like her. She could usually handle this kind of stuff pretty easily. Why was she such a freaking mess?

  “Sure,” Brad said into the phone. “If they can get the heavy equipment in there this weekend, we can start razing the lodge on Monday.”

  Razing the lodge? On Monday!

  Abruptly, something more than sobbing confusion welled up in her. It was more like anger. Rage even.

  She whirled back about the same time Brad snapped his cell phone shut.

  “You’re razing the lodge on Monday? Monday! That’s three days away.”

 
Brad took a step. “Suzie, look. It has to…”

  She put her palms out. “No, Brad. I don’t want to hear it. This all makes me really, really sick. I don’t know…”

  Suddenly, her tummy was making all kinds of lurching motions. Oh, God….

  “Suzie, it has to happen sometime.”

  “Well I don’t want it to happen at all, Brad! Oh…”

  “What’s wrong?”

  “I don’t. I don’t feel so well…”

  “Suzie?”

  Turning, she took a couple of steps toward her bedroom, faltered with her hand over her mouth, then raced toward her master bathroom.

  Brad followed. “Suzie, sweetheart. Are you okay? What’s…”

  She slammed the door in his face, wanting to preserve some shred of dignity while she puked her guts out.

  Chapter Thirty-Four

  Jane gripped the creased magazine article, A Step by Step Guide to your Perfect Romantic Encounter, and read once more the underlined advice promising to “steer her to sexual paradise.” Man, she hoped so. How could she miss with all this great guidance?

  She had one last chance to turn her dreams into reality. To find out if Graham was as good as she remembered.

  Swallowing her qualms, Jane stuffed the article into her pocket, and gathering the rest of her packages from the trunk, headed up Aunt Harriet’s front steps. Take charge, the article said. Don’t leave anything to chance. Confidence adds to your sex appeal. Jane lifted her chin, ignoring the anxiety churning her stomach. She pushed the doorbell, pasted a smile upon her lips, and readied herself for a sure conquest.

  ****

  Graham shuffled to the door. He was tired. Tired but exhilarated. It was late in the day and he hadn’t yet bathed or shaved. Hadn’t had time. Working on his next book kept him too busy. As the stacked pages next to his laptop attested, he was making good progress on what he hoped would be his next bestseller.

  Right now, he didn’t welcome the interruption.

  “What do you want?” Graham pulled open the door.