Within

by Rachel Rae

  “Give me a second, okay?” I asked, taking the keys out the ignition, and then getting out.

  “Welcome to Motel 6 where we keep the light on for you; how may I assist you?”

  “Hello… Russell,” I said, reading his name badge. “My name is Courtney and I have a question for you.”

  “Hopefully I’ll have an answer, so shoot,” the tall, but slightly stubby guy said.

  “I need to see room 215 please.”

  His eyes grew large as he mumbled, “Impossible.”

  “How so?”

  He began to type on the computer in front of him while he spoke to me. “You seem like a really smart lady with your sleeveless black dress, so I know you watch the news.”

  “I do, and?”

  “And with that being said, I know you know with watching the news, there was something that happened in that particular room, which I am not at liberty to discuss.”

  “Since you wear those nice designer glasses, Mr. Russell, you as well seem like a smart fellow, so let me break it down to you briefly. There is unfinished business in that room that someone needs to finish.”

  “Let me stop you there; regardless of your unfinished business, this job is my livelihood and—”

  The bell to the front door rang, alerting us that someone else had walked in, I turned around and saw it was Krystle; I then turned my attention back to Russell.

  “Is there a problem, Auntie?” Krystle asked sweetly, walking up to me.

  “No, I got it handled,” I responded.

  “Hello again, Russell.” she said deeply, her voice taking on the same tone it did, while we spoke over the phone earlier.

  His mouth hung open so wide; he could catch a fly.

  “I don’t want any problems with you, surely as you don't want any problems with me,” Krystle said, smiling.

  “I don’t care which one you are, I can’t let you in,” his voice cracked.

  Krystle looked at me, then leaned on the counter towards him with a slight smile and whispered, “If I were you, I would shut the fuck up, since you were the one to tell people you knew nothing about what happened. With that being said, Russell, love, I won’t be the only one held accountable for anything... I promise you that. So be a dear, give me what I want; that's only the fucking keys!” she yelled, reaching over the desk grabbing them.

  “Okay, okay! I’m going to lunch, fuck! And just like the last time, I didn’t see you and you ain't see me!” he said, pulling back the swinging door to the desk. “I got eight damn kids and seven baby momma’s; I don’t need no more drama in my damn life,” he mumbled.

  “Got it.” She winked, her voice going back to normal. “Let’s go, Auntie,” she giggled, twirling the single key around her right pointer finger.

  When we got outside, I stopped walking and stared at her. “What was that in there?”

  “What was what? she asked nonchalantly, skipping back towards me.

  “You told that boy that he would also be held accountable for murder, I thought you said you didn’t remember anything.”

  “I don’t, wasn’t that strange? Now where was that room again?”

  I started to get a little disturbed then, but I kept my composure. I told Krystle that I left my purse in the car and that she should go on ahead of me, and find the room. She hesitantly agreed and went off to find her destination, while I pretended that I was walking back to the car. When she was out of sight, I went back into the lobby area where Russell was still behind the front desk, collecting his things for lunch.

  “Russell?” I asked, walking up to the desk, “I can’t be long, but I have to ask you something.”

  “You have two minutes,” he snapped.

  “You and my niece, Krystle, seem to know each other very well, even outside of this motel.”

  “That woman there that just walked in is not no damn Krystle. Her name is Akira. I’ve been knowing her since high school, correct? Now if you would excuse me, I’m going on lunch and the door locks behind you when you leave,” he said, walking past me.

  I followed him out the door and then stopped him once more.

  “Lady what do you want from me? Shit!”

  “Where is that room my niece went to?”

  He pointed straight ahead, as I noticed her open the door and walk in. Before I could give him a thank you, he turned around from me, swiftly walking away down the street.

  Chapter Fourteen

  KRYSTLE

  As soon as my foot hit the threshold of that door, the memories flooded in my head. I stood in a corner watching my memory as if it was a movie; my back was towards the door, while I sat at a table, looking at the headlights of cars zoom by on the freeway.

  ***************************

  “What’s going on, Krystle?” Bishop asked, walking in, shutting the door behind him.

  “Did you lock the door?”

  His shoulder dropped down as he shook his head from left to right, still walking towards where I sat. “I really don’t have time to play games with you today; I have to go to work. What’s wrong?”

  “It’s only nine Bishop you don’t normally have to be at work until eleven. You must mean you have to go meet up with Akira, maybe even FiFi.

  “Like I’ve told you before, Krystle, I don’t know no Akira or FiFi. I wouldn’t be surprised if you didn’t know them either,” he said softly. “There is a reason things happen and us splitting up was a good thing, even if you don’t or can’t see it right now, you will. But, you’re not ready for that yet. I want to help you, but the crazy ass shit you’ve been doing, does not make me feel bad about the decision that was made.”

  “So you just gon’ sit here and lie to me in my face? Trying to act like you ain't done shit or even hit me?” I asked, turning around in the chair that I occupied to face him.

  “I’ve never put my hands on you, Krys, what are you talking about?”

  I wanted to snap out of this memory; I knew it was about to get worse. I can see myself turning red with anger, my eyes were dark and shallow it seemed. I covered my eyes, not wanting to see what was next.

  “You know what I’m talking about, Bishop, stop playing games!”

  “Krystle, I have to go, is that what you called me here for? To accuse me of something you know I didn’t do? I know I haven’t told you, but I’m sorry about the baby, and I’m sorry about the two years we had that we no longer have, but it’s all over now. It has to be, you’re going to have to move on.”

  “I guess you’re right; I just have to let it go, that’s what you want right? So what did they mean? Akira, FiFi!”

  I took my hands down from my eyes, because I had to see his face when I called out their names. I watched myself fold my hands across my chest as if they were about to pop out of the closet or something, but nothing happened.

  Bishop looked around the room, and then looked back at me. “Krystle. It’s going to be alright,” he said, wrapping his arms around me.

  The feeling of being safe and warm surrounded me in the corner as I continued to look on at my memory. I watched him whisper in my ear, “I’ll always love you, Krissy Bear.”

  Just then, my eyes bulged out as if someone had just walked in, but it was still just he and I.

  “Akira no!”

  “Akira?” he said, pulling back slightly.

  “Yesss?” I asked, with my voice changing again.

  Before I could blink, I pulled a stainless steel paring knife out my jacket pocket, digging it into his side; he never saw it coming.

  I started to slap myself in the face; I wanted out of this memory out of this room, but I couldn’t stop it.

  “Krystle...” Bishop said, trying to catch his breath.

  I pulled the knife from his side and stood there as he held his wound and fell to his right side.

  “There you go! I told you he couldn't stay faithful,” I said, kicking him over on his back and then stabbing him on the left side of his chest. “You never gave a fuck did
you Bishop?” I asked him, stabbing twice more in his chest area.

  “My… name… is… Akira!” I yelled, stabbing him repeatedly.

  “Stop!” I yelled in my regular voice.

  The knife dropped and I stood back by his feet. Bishop started to gurgle and breathe heavily.

  “Bishop?” I asked, blinking uncontrollably. I ran to his side, kneeled down and picked up his head. “Why would you do this to him? I said scare him!” I asked, looking up as if someone was there. “FiFi, go get some help please! Bishop, stay with me, it’s going to be okay. Hurry, go get help!” I cried out, but nothing happened.

  The room grew cold when there was a forceful knock at the door; it swung open revealing Russell, the front desk attendant.

  “There was a noise complaint,” he said, taking two steps into the room, but then stepped back. “What the hell is going on in here? Is that man bleeding? Krystle, do you need some help?”

  I stood up and walked towards him slowly, once again, my voice changed back into a low grumble. “Do you want to be next, Russell? I’ll gut yo ass, just like I did his cheatin’ ass. Now if you don't want no problems, I would advise you to take yo nosey ass back downstairs and take a lunch break or some shit. Come back over here and there is going to be a big ass problem, you understand me?”

  There was no response from him, other than the sounds of his feet running across the cement, as quick as his legs could go.

  I slammed the door behind him and turned my attention back to Bishop.

  “Bishop?” I gasped. I ran back to his side and kneeled down once more. “Bishop, I’m so sorry she did this to you. I didn’t know she was going to do that.”

  His last words I promised myself I would never forget, and it seems that I didn’t, because anytime I heard his voice, he said the same thing. “How could you? You… You will pay for every… Everything you’ve done to me.”

  He started to shake as blood trickled down the sides of his mouth.

  “I’m sorry!” I cried out.

  “He’s hurting,” I said in a softer voice; I knew then that was FiFi. “We have to do something.”

  “Akira no!”

  Before I knew it, I had once again grabbed the knife from the floor beside him and stabbed him directly in his chest, twisting the knife from left to right, until there was no breath or movement.

  “No!” I screamed, still looking on at myself.

  “Krystle… Krystle…” I heard what sounded like my aunt’s voice in the distance.

  I looked around, no longer standing on the sidelines in the corner of my memory, but actually inside it, reliving it. I was now front and center standing in the place of myself. I looked down at Bishop’s face, his eyes were wide open and again, I began to cry. I felt paralyzed, unable to do anything except lay beside him in a fetal position and cry.

  “Akira? FiFi?” my voice echoed.

  “Krystle? Krystle?” I heard my aunt’s voice ask again in the distance.

  “Police!” I heard as well; heavy footsteps surrounded Bishop and I as we laid on the floor.

  “Sit up with your hands in the air!” I heard one of them yell, shining a bright light in my face. I reached up towards it and noticed the wet and dry blood smeared all over my hand, causing me to belt out a long, loud scream.

  “I can’t!” I said, in between my screams and tears.

  “Yes, you can,” the male cop’s voice said, turning into a softer female voice. “Krystle, Krystle? Get up baby. It’s alright,” Aunt Courtney said, holding a key light to my face.

  I opened my eyes back to reality, realizing where I was and what was going on. When I gained my composure, I looked at my hands and then back at Aunt Courtney, who was now sitting behind me, cradling and rocking back and forth with me.

  “I'm a monster, I killed him right here! Nobody but me!” I wept. “I want to go. I need to get out of here please.”

  “Shh… shh… shh…” she said, rubbing my head. “Calm down, if you want to go we can go, okay?”

  I stood up, wrapped my left arm around her as she led us both to the car.

  We drove away in silence…

  “Did you see what you wanted to see? Are you happy now?” came in Akira’s whisper.

  I put my head down in my lap and covered my ears.

  “Isn’t that what you wanted? To see the truth? Your truth?”

  I took in deep breaths, and then exhaled.

  “She knows too much. She knows. She knows,” Akira whispered.

  “Aunt… Aunt Courtney?” I asked, with my head still down eyes still closed.

  “She’s a liar; she’s lying just like Bishop did. You know what we have to do.”

  “No!” I yelled aloud. “Stop!” I said, stretching my hand out to the side in front of Aunt Courtney’s chest.

  “What’s wrong, Krystle?” Aunt Courtney screamed in a panic “We’re almost home!”

  “Stop the car!”

  “She knows… She knows…” Akira’s whispers came in heavier and louder with every second.

  “Calm down, Krystle, just let me—”

  “Pull the car over now!” I shouted, grabbing the steering wheel and jerking it, causing her to swerve hard almost into oncoming traffic.

  She gained control of the car, and then stomped on the brakes, stopping in the middle of the street.

  “What the fuck!” she screamed, hitting the steering wheel.

  I couldn’t explain right now, Akira was coming on too strong, and I knew she was about to show her ugly head if I didn’t get away soon. I took off my seat belt, opened the passenger door and took off running towards home. I ran for two blocks, until I reached the front door, out of breath. When I walked in, my dad was lying on the couch, flipping through the channels.

  “He’s in on it too. Kill him, kill him!”

  I covered my ears again then shook my head. When he noticed I was standing there he smiled at me, “Hey Krys. Where are you coming from?”

  “She’s coming…”

  “Leave me alone!” I yelled, running up the stairs to my room locking the door. I raced to my vanity mirror and started moving some things around, searching for the handful of pills I tried to take, before FiFi stopped me and Akira made me pour out the remainder. “Where are they? Where did I put it?” I said to myself, pulling out the drawers and then tossing things out.

  “Krystle? Krystle!” he yelled, banging on the door.

  “Go away!” I yelled back, sliding my arm across the top of the vanity, knocking everything to the floor.

  “Open this door right now, I said!” He banged some more.

  “Where are they?” I asked myself, dropping to my hands and knees to look low.

  I thought taking the medication would make me better, and make Akira go away for good. I needed to find it. “Where the fuck is it?” I asked myself again, standing up, brushing my hair back from my face.

  “Move back, Tony. Krystle, listen to me.” She knocked. “Whatever I did in the car, I’m sorry; just open the door so we can talk about it, okay?” she pleaded, speaking into the crack of the door, knocking lightly.

  “Just go away, please,” I asked, putting my head down. “Why can’t I just be normal?”

  My eyes glanced over the room, finding their way to the mirror, where Akira stood staring at me once more. She looked at me as I did her; I hated her even more than I hated me.

  “You’ve turned me into someone I should have never become!” I yelled towards the mirror, while my aunt and father still knocked on the door.

  “I hate you!” I yelled, picking up from the floor, a sterling silver snow globe someone had given me when I was younger.

  She didn’t say anything, just stared at me with those dark, piercing eyes that I began to realize I knew so well. The longer I looked in that mirror, the more I saw it. I picked up my hand with the snow globe and held it up; she did the same. I became confused.

  “That’s right, I'm you,” Akira said with a smirk.

&n
bsp; “You don’t exist and you will never own me.”

  “It’s too late,” she said, laughing.

  That was enough; I raised the globe up with both hands and began to take all my frustrations out on the mirror. Water and glass from the globe exploded onto the surface of the vanity, with every strike I gave the mirror. I continued to smash and smash, until there was nothing left but cardboard and wood. I was in a daze; I felt as if I was losing every single piece of my mind. I stepped back, dropped what was remaining of the globe to my feet, collapsing to my knees.

  “Pick it up.” I heard Akira’s voice coming from a large chunk of mirror that had not shattered completely.

  “I give up!” I cried out.

  Taking the broken mirror, I held out my left arm and dug it into my skin, pulling it down midway. The room door swung open, with my father and aunt running towards me.

  I glanced at them briefly, and then back at my arm, to finish the slice that I started on my forearm.

  “Krystle stop!” Aunt Courtney yelled, bending down, taking the broken glass from my hand and tossing it.

  “Daddy… I can’t… I can’t live like this no more. Help me.”

  Chapter Fifteen

  COURTNEY

  “This is all my fault,” I said, sitting beside my brother in the room they’d assigned to Krystle at West Houston Hospital.

  “Not right now, Courtney,” Tony said, never taking his eyes off Krystle as she slept.

  “I have to do something, Tony. It can’t end like this, it just can’t.”

  “She’s sick, Courtney, it’s no one’s fault.”

  I did something I hadn’t done in years. I stood up and walked over to my daughter’s bedside, rubbed her cheek, and cried aloud.

  “God, if you could just make her well, I’ll be satisfied,” I prayed.

  There was a knock at the door, followed by the doctor’s entrance.

  “Hello,” he said with a smile, walking past my brother, whom was still seated towards the bed.

  He checked her vital signs and her chart; then asked if we’d mind stepping out to speak with him. Tony and I both agreed, and followed behind him, out the room to a secluded area.