Love All Out - The Complete Series (A Stepbrother Romance)

by Ward, Alice

  “They won’t want to get to know us,” I snapped. “You were right all along. I was naïve. I was stupid. Once people find out about our… situation, they won’t want to have anything to do with us. We have to give Bradley what he wants, James. I can’t afford not to.”

  James clenched his jaw and turned away from me, fury coming off him like waves. I packed up our ATV while he got dressed.

  “Are you ready? We need to get back,” I told him as I stowed the rolled up picnic blanket on the backseat.

  “We need to talk about this, Willow,” James insisted, his face as serious as I’d ever seen it. He sat down on a tree stump and folded his hands in his lap. I could tell that he was trying to stay calm, but my patience was wearing thin.

  “There’s nothing to talk about, James.” I leaned against the ATV and crossed my arms over my chest. “You were right. We can’t be together, not now that our parents are getting married. People may grow to accept us eventually, but I can’t afford to wait for eventually. With the attention I’m getting from the Derby, my program has been put on the fast track to becoming one of the best in the country. There’s not a doubt in my mind that Mondo will win Preakness and I won’t be surprised if he takes the Triple Crown. If that happens, nothing will be able to slow me down. Nothing but…”

  “Me. A taboo sex scandal,” James finished with a sigh of defeat. He dropped his head and stared down at the freshly cut grass. “That didn’t matter to you so much a few hours ago,” he reminded me softly.

  Guilt flooded every cell of my body and a single tear fell from my eye. “I know. I’m sorry.” I wanted to say more. I wanted to comfort him. But I didn’t have the words.

  James stood up and cleared his throat. “I guess risking everything you’ve worked so hard for is easier said than done… especially with Bradley’s imminent threat hanging over your head.”

  I felt my cheeks flush hot with shame. I was filled with so many emotions I wasn’t sure which one to feel first. I was terrified of Bradley, terrified that he’d expose our secret. And the thought of losing James made my heart ache with a pain I’d never felt before. But every instinct I had told me that I had to protect my career. I’d worked too hard, sacrificed too much, and all of my dreams were about to be realized. I couldn’t let anything stand in the way of my success, not even the man I so desperately loved.

  “I’m sorry,” I said again, unable to look James in the eye. “Should we head back?”

  James shook his head and walked to the ATV. He lifted the cooler off of the utility rack and set it on the ground. “You go ahead and go home. I’ll stay a little longer and get some more of these plants in the ground. Tell Mom and Cole that I’m going in to town tonight and I’ll see them at breakfast.”

  I knew it was irrational, but I was hurt that he was staying behind. “Are you sure?” I asked. “We can come back early tomorrow and catch up on the planting.”

  James shook his head again and pulled the shovel and hoe out of the backseat. “I just want to be alone, Willow,” he replied.

  “James, I’m so sorry,” I said again. “You were right. I should have listened to you in the first place. Then we wouldn’t be in this mess.”

  James pushed the shovel into the ground and leaned against its long handle. He stared at me with sad, frustrated eyes. “You’re the one who was right,” he said through tight lips. “I never wanted to let you go, but I wanted to do the right thing. And throwing in the towel because Bradley Miller spouted off bullshit threats isn’t the right thing. I understand that you’ve got a lot going on right now, so I’m not going to push this for a while. But I’m not going to give up on us, Willow. I love you.”

  It was the first time he’d said those words. I looked into his eyes and my heart leapt to my throat. I’d never felt so euphoric and miserable at the same time. I wanted so badly to say “I love you, too” and jump into his arms, but fear held me back.

  “Please, James,” I begged. “Don’t make this any harder than it has to be.”

  He gazed back and a calm look spread across his face. “Willow, I intend to make it incredibly hard for you to walk away from me… impossible, even.” He pulled the shovel from the ground, walked towards me, kissed the top of my head, and then turned away just as quickly.

  “I’ll see you at breakfast, Willow,” he said over his shoulder as he walked back to the rows of plants.

  I slid behind the steering wheel, turned the key in the ignition, and reluctantly set off for home.

  ***

  Matt chewed the cap of his ink pen and studied the resume of Mason Tanner, who sat nervously across from us at my kitchen table. It was early Thursday afternoon and Matt and I were interviewing applicants to work in the thoroughbred stables. My office wasn’t big enough for three people, so we were holding the interviews at the house. Mason’s resume said that he was twenty-six, but his baby smooth face and small stature made him look more like a child.

  “So, you already have quite a bit of experience working with racehorses,” Matt observed. He leaned back against the wall and the two front legs of his chair rose off the floor.

  Mason nodded. “Yes sir, all of it back home in Kentucky.”

  “How long have you lived in Colorado?” I asked. I scanned his resume, but didn’t see a local address.

  Mason looked me straight in the eye. “I still live in Kentucky, ma’am. But I’m more than willing to move here, if I have the opportunity to work with you.”

  If Mason had been our first interview of the day, his answer would have surprised me. But out of the eight other people we’d spoken to, only two had been locals. When I decided to hire more help for my barn, I called a few of my local racing friends and asked if they knew of anyone looking for work. Word that we were hiring spread fast. People came from across the country for a chance to work in the barn that had produced the last Derby winner.

  “That’s incredibly flattering, Mason. Thank you,” I told him, meaning it.

  “I know you’re talking to a lot of applicants,” he said, his green eyes shining with confidence. “And I know you probably have older applicants with more experience than I have. But you’ll never find anyone who works harder or is more motivated to learn. I want to be the best and to do that, I need to learn from the best. I’ve done my research. This is where I want to be. And for the record, I knew that before the Derby.”

  I took a sip of my coffee and studied Mason for a moment. “Do you mind if I ask what you weigh?” I was worried the question would offend him, but Mason gave me a bright smile.

  “One hundred and twenty-six pounds, ma’am,” he replied proudly. “Yes, that’s on purpose and yes, I have some jockey experience... training, too.”

  One hundred and twenty-six pounds, that’s the exact weight requirement for racing. This may be a sign…

  Matt raised an eyebrow, silently asking where I was going with my questions. I hadn’t shared my new plan with him yet.

  I pushed my chair away from the table and rose to my feet. The guys followed my lead and I extended my hand to Mason.

  “I’d like to offer you one of the open positions in the barn,” I said, surprising myself with the words. Mason beamed with delight while Matt scowled with annoyed confusion.

  “Thank you so much, ma’am,” Mason said. He was obviously excited and continued shaking my hand up and down as he spoke. “I promise you won’t regret this. I have tons of experience, but I’m also ready and willing to learn new things.”

  “You don’t have to sell yourself, she’s already hired you,” Matt reminded him with a tense smile.

  “Right,” Mason laughed. “My apologies.”

  “No problem,” I said, pulling my hand free from his grip. “How long will it take you to relocate? Your salary includes lodging. The bunkhouse isn’t fancy, but it has a full kitchen, cable television, and two full size bathrooms. It was built to sleep eight people, but Huck and Colton are the only ones living there right now. If you prefer to live offsit
e, we’ll understand.”

  “No ma’am, the bunkhouse is just fine for me,” Mason assured me. “I don’t have much, so I don’t need a lot of room. I flew in from Kentucky last night and I’m scheduled to fly out this evening. I can be in my truck and on my way back here by tomorrow afternoon.”

  “Perfect,” I told him. I walked out of the kitchen and through the front door with Matt and Mason close behind me. “Travel safely, and we’ll see you in a few days.” Matt and I shook Mason’s hand again and walked him to his rental car.

  “Thank you again for the opportunity, ma’am,” he said as he slid behind the steering wheel.

  “You’re welcome. And please, call me Willow,” I insisted.

  “I’ll see you soon, Willow. Thank you both.” Mason nodded and closed his door. Matt and I watched in silence as his car moved down the driveway. Once it had disappeared, Matt turned to me with his hands on his hips.

  “What was the point of me sitting in on the interviews if you were going to make the decision without discussing it with me?” he asked. He tapped his foot on the ground, impatiently waiting for my reply.

  I let out a long sigh and gave him a weak, hesitant smile. “I’m sorry. You’re right. I should have talked to you. And not just about hiring Mason, but what I’ve hired him for.”

  Matt’s arms dropped to his sides and he stared at me with narrowed eyes. “What do you mean ‘what you’ve hired him for’?”

  My stomach grumbled and I looked back towards the house. “I’m starving. Let’s go inside and have lunch, and I’ll explain everything.”

  “Fine,” Matt agreed. “I’m hungry too.”

  “I’ve been doing a lot of thinking since I came home from Kentucky,” I said as we walked back to the house. I was relieved that Daddy and Renee were in town for the day. I wasn’t quite ready to let the whole family in on my plan.

  “Thinking about what?” Matt asked as we stepped into the kitchen. I walked to the refrigerator and pulled out leftover meatloaf from the night before.

  “Do meatloaf sandwiches sound alright to you?” I asked. I popped the glass dish into the microwave and set it for two minutes.

  “That’s fine,” Matt said with a dismissive wave. He leaned against the counter. “What have you been thinking about?” he asked again.

  I was nervous to tell him. I was certain he’d tell me I was crazy. I wrapped my arms around my chest and looked down at the floor as I spoke. “I’ve been thinking… that maybe it’s time to expand the program.”

  Matt’s body relaxed and curiosity spread across his face. “Expand how? Do you want to build a bigger barn? Keep more horses?” He seemed excited by the idea, which filled me with relief. I looked up at him and smiled.

  “I want to expand everything. I want to add on to the barn and increase the breeding stock,” I told him. “I’m keeping Clementine’s filly and Glory’s colt. Liberty and Snowball should be coming into heat any day now. We’ll breed them to Locomotion and raise the foals to breed with Thunder’s babies.”

  Matt nodded just as the microwave beeped. “That’s a fantastic idea,” he agreed. “I actually can’t wait to see what the third generation will look like, with all of those strong bloodlines mixed together.”

  I stuffed my hands into oven mitts and pulled the meatloaf out of the microwave. “I also want to buy two more studs and a few new mares, really get this place running full steam ahead.”

  Matt pulled a loaf of bread out of the cabinet while I sliced the meatloaf. “That all sounds great to me, but it doesn’t explain why you hired Mason without talking to me about it first.” He pulled four slices of bread from the bag and set them down on a large plate. I put the sandwiches together while he poured two glasses of iced tea.

  “Well…” I hesitated. I looked up at Matt and realization spread across his face.

  “Wait a second… you asked him how much he weighs… you want to raise more than breeding stock, don’t you?”

  I nodded and carried our lunch to the table. Matt brought in our drinks and sat across from me, speechless.

  “You think I’m crazy?” I asked after swallowing my first bite of sandwich.

  “No… no, of course not,” he said, snapping out of his shock. “I’m just surprised. I didn’t think you were interested in getting that involved with racing. You always said it was too time consuming.” Matt stuffed a large bite into his mouth, walked to the cabinets, and returned to the table with a bag of potato chips. He shook a pile of them onto his plate and passed the bag to me.

  “I did feel that way until after the Derby. Now, raising my own racehorses is all I can think about. I know how to train,” I reminded him. I grabbed a handful of chips and rolled the bag shut.

  “I know you do,” Matt assured me. “And now, you have a jockey.”

  “A training jockey, at least,” I said, popping a chip into my mouth. I washed it down with a long drink of my iced tea. “We’ll see what he can do on horseback before we enter him in any races. I have a contractor coming next week to look over house plans. I’m going to get a quote on the barn expansion as well.”

  “Do you have enough money to cover all that?” Matt asked.

  “I did pretty well in Kentucky,” I told him. “It’s not enough for the barn, the house, and new horses, but we still have the Preakness and Belmont Stakes. And if all else fails, the house can wait until the business stuff is taken care of.”

  Matt spun his tea glass in circles on the table and shifted in his seat. “What would you think… about letting me buy in as a partner?” he asked, his voice full of hesitation.

  I was pleasantly surprised by the offer. “You’d want to do that?”

  He looked up at me, his eyes sparkling with excitement. “Are you kidding me? I’d love to! You’re my best friend, Willow. I love working with you. I’d love nothing more than to be partners. I won quite a bit of Derby money myself,” he added with a grin.

  “I didn’t even know you’d placed a bet. Why didn’t you tell me?” I ate the last bite of my sandwich and carried our empty plates to the sink.

  “I didn’t want to say anything until I decided what to do with it,” he explained. He walked to the refrigerator and refilled his tea glass. “I toyed around with the idea of building a house, but I’d rather do this. Like you said, the house can wait.”

  I’d heard horror stories about friendships that were ruined by business partnerships, but I had no such fears about working with Matt. “This just makes everything perfect,” I said as we walked out of the kitchen. “You already treat the horses like they’re your own. You’ve done so much for me. I’ll schedule a meeting with Daddy’s lawyer. We’ll go over the numbers and draw up a contract.” We walked outside and started for the barn.

  “I’m assuming that we’ll be hiring more than just Mason now that we’re expanding the program?” Matt asked as we walked down the driveway.

  I nodded. “With the growth I have in mind, we’ll need to hire three more people. I really liked Harrison and John.” Harrison was in his early forties and had already worked for two premier racing stables. John was twenty-eight and had a degree in equine breeding, just like me.

  “They were definitely the most qualified candidates,” Matt agreed. “They’re both from out of state. It’s a good thing there’s so much room in the bunkhouse.”

  “Yeah, it’s lucky for us Daddy built so many staff cabins,” I agreed.

  “So we agree on Harrison and John. Who’s getting the third spot?” Matt asked as we stepped into the barn’s shadow.

  “Let’s hire the two local guys,” I replied. “I’d rather have too much help than not enough. And that way, we’ll have no problem covering when you and I want to leave at the same time.” I slid open the barn door and the horses greeted us with whinnies and blows. I’d been hesitant to leave them in the pasture after the fences were vandalized. They were all anxious to get outside and stretch their legs.

  “Sounds good to me,” Matt agreed. “
I’ll make the calls after we move the horses.” He slid the door shut behind us. “Unless you wanted to make the calls,” he added.

  We walked towards the back of the barn and I shook my head. “You can do it. Once we get the older horses in the pasture, I’m going to start doing some groundwork with Buttercup and Blaze.”

  Matt raised one eyebrow. “Blaze, huh? So you finally named the colt?”

  I blushed a little, remembering the day James had walked into the barn and tried to seduce me. He’d suggested that Blaze of Glory was the perfect name for the colt. I hated him at the time, so I shot down the idea without a second thought. But the harder I tried to top the name, the more I realized his suggestion was perfect.

  “Yeah, I finally named him. His registered name will be Thunder’s Blaze of Glory.”

  “I like it,” Matt told me. We opened the back door, which led out into the thoroughbred pasture. The horses needed no encouragement to leave their stalls. They politely waited for us to open their doors, and then they raced out into the field.

  “I’ll start making calls,” Matt said once everyone was outside. “I guess we’re going to be pretty busy soon. All the more reason for our escape to Denver this weekend.”

  Shit, I completely forgot that we were all supposed to go to the rodeo. Was it really just a few days ago that I agreed to that? There’s no way I’m going now.

  I looked at the ground and pushed dirt around with the toe of my boot. “Actually… I’m not going to the rodeo.”

  Matt sighed. “Look Willow, Lucas warned me that James entered bull riding along with the team roping competition. I know that makes you nervous, but I thought we agreed you need to support him.”

  Terror danced through my body. I hated the idea of James getting back on a bull, but I knew there was nothing I could do about it. I pulled at the hem of my t-shirt and looked at Matt. “I didn’t know he’d entered the bull riding,” I confessed, then pushed at the dirt again. “But it doesn’t matter. What James does is no longer any of my business.”