I had read Kyle’s card half a dozen times willing myself to not forgive him and protect my heart. The card was more apologies that he would always want me and how he wanted to change. He wanted to move forward with me. He knew that I had changed and he loved me more because of it. He hated that I felt he pushed me into doing things I didn’t want to do. Later when I came out of my room, he was downstairs playing a video game with Daniel. He never left that day and eventually we were alone and talked. I agreed to give him another chance even while we were away at school, but I would not commit to him. He promised he would prove himself to me and I told him that I was not making any promises beyond friendship. Sunday came around and he waited to head back to school until I left. When he moved in to kiss me and I didn’t resist, I knew I had caved again.
I glance up at Reed and Matt sighing internally to myself. Reed looks even better than usual running around with his sun glasses covering his blue eyes. He is so athletic and built I can’t help but admire the tone and grace of his body. He catches me staring and gives me a delicious smile that makes my heart skip a beat. I sit there wishing things were different …
Once I returned to school I regressed back to part of my old self. I got out with the girls still, but I put a hold on carefree Kate. The girls were understanding and tried desperately to find out why I had regressed. One evening after a tough conversation with Kyle, I broke down to Maggie and told her everything. Maggie understood why things never progressed with Marco even though he tried to pursue me back on campus. He graduated that year and moved out of state for a job. I never showed up that Saturday to play tennis with Reed. I never emailed him and he never emailed me about it. After a couple weeks I eventually saw him on the courts and we played, but avoided talking. And since I didn’t go to his house for any parties or really any events that involved drinking I didn’t see him, which meant our flirtatious relationship became non-existent. Over time we got back into our routine of playing tennis Saturday mornings and eventually we started talking. I guess you would say we are friends. Kyle came to visit during that semester staying with a friend and then we saw each other back at home. He was relentless, but on his best behavior and I liked that. Although, I always felt like I was just waiting for Kyle to change back. He never hesitated to let me know he wanted a commitment. That summer once back at home I committed to him again.
I cringe a little internally remembering how happy Kyle was that I finally committed to be with him again.
I remember feeling happy about it and quickly falling into a somewhat normal routine for us. We both worked during the days of the week and then we would be together in the evenings. I would run almost every evening and play tennis some nights. Kyle would even join me most of the time. On the weekends we’d hang at his pool or go to Lake Michigan. We saw movies, went to dinner and out for ice cream. Each time we had alone time he would push our sexual endeavors further. About mid-summer we were at his house making out on the couch in the basement not bothering to watch the movie that was on. Kyle had pulled down my loose tank top and bra enough to reach at my bare breast, but not bothering to remove it either. I pressed into his groping hand wanting more. His other hand had moved up under my cotton skirt and before I could squirm he had removed my panties. Quickly and rather rushed, he slipped his fingers into me and again I pressed into him wanting more. His kisses became forceful and frantic. I remember him whispering in my ear “God, Kate please don’t stop this.” I felt disappointment and longed to hear something more romantic. His hands were as forceful and frantic as his kisses, but I didn’t stop him because I yearned for something more. I squirmed beneath him and he removed his hands from me, but his lips remained. I heard and felt the zipper of his shorts coming down, but not off. He started to settle closer between my legs with my skirt hiked up around my waist. My mind panicked at the thought of him entering me without a condom. We had never had sex without one and I didn’t want to start now. Barely able to drag my lips away I promptly told him to get a condom. He begged to let him in me without one, but I shifted to stop this all together. Without another moment to try to talk me into it he reached into his back pocket of his shorts around his knees and pulled the condom out. In my mind I remember feeling that I had won a small battle with Kyle. As soon as the condom was on he entered me quickly. His hands were at the sides of my head and his head was on the one side. I longed for his hands to roam over me and for his lips to touch my skin, but they never did. His thrusts were fast and heavy just like his breathing. I urged myself to feel something more, especially pleasure. The next thing I knew he was panting in my ear and telling me he was going to come. And he did and it was over. I felt relief. His weight fell on me for a few moments. Before he got off and out of me he kissed the spot between my ear and my cheek. His next words were even less romantic… “Thank God Kate, I don’t think I could have waited any longer.”
Reed makes his way over to me psyching me out that he is going to throw the Frisbee at me. I giggle and block my face. I’m happy for the distraction from my wandering mind. He gives me a smirk and lets out a rough laugh. This time he sits facing me, which blocks the sun from my eyes. Matt is talking to some girls that are watching them play. I’m sure the girls are wishing Reed would make his way over to them. I can see it in their longing eyes. A smile spreads across my face at the fact that he stays here talking to me.
“What are you smiling at?”
“Mmmm, nothing, I love this weather.” I’m not sure if he believes me, but it isn’t a complete lie.
“You looked like you were in deep thought, wanna talk?” I inhale and take a deep breath remembering my text from Kyle that led me to my flashback. I look straight at him and bite the bottom corner of my lip contemplating. I’m not as nervous or reserved around Reed like I used to be. Reed tries almost every Saturday to get me to open up more and I have shared some personal stuff with him. Well, at least I consider it personal. As I am about to answer him a group of girls walking towards us begin to flirt with Reed. This isn’t uncommon and it happens quite a bit. I am not naïve that Reed dated, hooked up and even had one night stands. He is polite, but does not further engage with them. They get the hint and continue walking. One of his hands latches around my calf and the contact sends a shiver up through me.
“You ok? Talk to me.” He moves his glasses up to his head so I can see his eyes. They glisten softly with the sun behind him as they silently crave me to answer him.
“It’s nothing really…” I lick my lips and push my hair behind my ears out of pure habit. He knows about Kyle, but we don’t really talk about it. “Just Kyle.” I shrug my shoulders and press my lips tightly.
He isn’t responding, but I can see that he is processing my answer. His eyes darken slightly and his jaw tightens. We sit there quietly, never looking away. Part of me would like to tell him all about my situation with Kyle. Even staring straight at Reed I start thinking of the last couple months …
The last day of summer break seemed harder on Kyle than me. Kyle had been good and we didn’t have any issues or maybe I should say fights. Part of me was holding back from him though. He knew it, but never pushed me. Once back at school he became obsessive with calling and texting me incessantly. I had told him that I didn’t want to live like I had the semester before summer. He didn’t like the sounds of me being too carefree, but I stood my ground. Once back at school we fought more frequently over his jealousy. He hated when I went out with my friends, especially if any guys were involved. I told him repeatedly that he had a double standard, of course he could go out with whomever and drink god knows how much. One Friday evening not that long ago, he begged me to stay in and when I didn’t, it led to a nasty fight. He had called me later in the evening and when I answered I was out with all the girls, as well as Derek and Brandon. I had been drinking and he could hear some of the guys in the background. He laid into me and called me names from A to Z. I didn’t talk to him for a week, but I had gone home the following weekend an
d he was there. Of course he talked me into forgiving him with his sweet words. Then a week later I called him early on a Saturday morning and a strange sleepy voice of a girl answered his cell. It was obvious she was in his bed. That was two weeks ago. I hadn’t returned a call or text since. As expected he had an explanation in his voicemails, but I didn’t want to hear of it. It’s possible his explanation was true, but I think I was using it as a way to escape.
Without even realizing it a small tear fell from my eye. Reed’s hand rubbed my calf.
“Hey, it’s ok. What happened?” Tenderness is evident in his words.
“Sorry, I …” I choked up on my words. The thought of Kyle being here tomorrow hits me hard. I do not want to see him. I can’t trust myself.
“Don’t be sorry. Did you break up?”
“Yes.” My voice is firm and I let out a breath I had been holding. “He’s not accepting it and is coming here tomorrow.” I’m sure the worry in my face shows.
“Why did you break up?” He looks truly concerned, but I do see a bit of wistful spark in his expression. His hand moves from my calf and gently holds on to my pinky finger.
“I don’t think I can talk about it.” I pause and look away for a moment. When I look back to him his blue eyes are waiting for me, probably to elaborate. “It’s complicated, but a couple weeks back I called him one morning and a girl answered his phone … and it was obvious she was in his bed. That’s the short version.” I don’t bother to tell him that the tear I shed is not because he cheated on me, but because of … so much more.
He doesn’t respond to that and I see a look of acknowledgement on his face. It makes me wonder if he’s been cheated on or worse maybe he’s done the cheating. He continues to hold my pinky and then stretches his hand over mine. He lets out a whistle of a breath and runs his other hand through his hair. We sit there silently, yet comfortably.
Before either of us say anything else, Quinn and Jenna run up over to us. As soon as Matt sees Quinn and Jenna, he makes his way over, too. The girls sit on each side of me. Jen circles me around my waist and squeals, “It’s officially Friday now chica, that was your last class, right?” The seriousness of my conversation with Reed fades and I allow myself to delight in the fact that my mid-terms are successfully over.
“Yep! Mags will be done by four, too.”
Reed’s eyes have lightened and he’s more jovial. “What are you sophomore girls up to this weekend?” I can’t deny that his curiosity about my weekend plans excites me a little. Kyle loomed in the back of mind though. Reed’s eyes shift back to me and I think that maybe he is the distraction I need.
Matt interjects, “You heard about the house party on Fifteenth Street right?”
Jen and Quinn giggle and I say with some sass, “Yes, we did and we are going tomorrow night. By the way Reed, just because we are sophomores doesn’t mean we can’t get into McGee’s.” McGee’s is one of the bars on campus and Reed is a regular there. Brandon was able to get us all fakes at the beginning of the year, but we haven’t really been too adventurous yet.
Quinn looks at Matt and asks, “Will you be at the party on fifteenth tomorrow?”
“Yes, and I better see you there, Quinn.” Matt winks at Quinn and for some reason Quinn is more shy than usual.
Reed raises an eyebrow and says, “Well, I have yet to see you kids in McGee’s...”
“Well, don’t hold your breath, but maybe we will just have to make an appearance tonight.” I figure it’s a good idea to have lots of plans to keep me distracted and hopefully avoid seeing Kyle.
“Is that a promise or a threat?” Reed provokes me.
Inside my head I tell myself it is a promise, but I know I can’t make it too easy for a guy like Reed. Instead I tell him, “Oh I can’t promise you anything … yet.” I raise my eyebrow and smirk. This is the most flirtatious we have been in long time and I like it.
As we all start to get up to head back to our places, my phone is ringing and vibrating with Kyle’s name lit across the screen again. Ugh.
Chapter 18
Once back in my dorm room I turn my cell phone off and don’t bother to check the land line because I know there will be missed calls from Kyle. I lie on my bed and decide to take a snooze before Maggie gets back. All of us girls are in the same dorm now, but I am roommates with Maggie. Quinn and Lynn are roommates now too. It’s perfect. Before I can drift off the door flies open and Maggie bursts in and flops on the bed beside me.
“Woo hoo! I made it! That was a week from hell.”
“Yeah it was. I’m ready to let loose and celebrate!”
Maggie tells me it’s about time that I let loose. We lay there for a while laughing and talking about the weekend. I tell her about Kyle and my time with Reed today. She doesn’t hesitate to let me know how she feels about Kyle. She actually is encouraging me to pursue Reed a little more. Before long, it’s time to get ready to go out for the night. We have plans with all the girls to go out to dinner and then try to get into McGee’s.
As we enter the elevator to head down, I look at Maggie, Quinn, Lynn, Jenna and Kelly with a beaming smile. They are beautiful and unique. I feel lucky to have such amazing friends. Once in the lobby we see Derek and Brandon. They too have become great friends. They are dressed casually strutting towards us whistling in appreciation at our attire. Since it is still warm out I’ve decided to wear a cute navy blue sundress, a tan cardigan and brown strappy sandals with a little heel. I have to admit that I am paying extra attention to my make-up and hair with Quinn’s help of course. I leave my hair down and took the time to blow dry it all under and my make-up is subtle with an almost nude lip gloss. Maggie is dressed up in a black dress that accentuates her curves. Kelly is well coordinated in a matching conservative name brand skirt and shirt with a pearl necklace. Sometimes I think she forgets that we are in college and not in a country club, but that’s Kelly. Jen is in dressy black shorts and a sassy red halter top with her wavy hair tied back. Quinn is wearing a striped maxi dress that surprisingly does not make her look shorter with her high heels. Lynn is in a casual orange drop waist dress with cute flip flops. I glance again at all of us and think that you would never know it was October by the way we are dressed.
Brandon heads straight to Maggie and wraps his arms around her waist. She teases him not to ruin her make-up. Derek finds me and tells me that I look good (anytime Quinn does my make-up I’m sure to get a compliment). Before I turn to head to the doors, I see Kelly looking at Derek and her eyes shift quickly once I spot her. Hmmm.
We jump in a taxi and head into downtown to a cute Italian restaurant. The night is perfect. The weather is mild and we are all wearing dresses except Jenna in her dressy shorts. Of course with all six of us the conversation never stops. I feel so happy to be out enjoying myself and marvel at how much has changed.
As I am checking my cell phone for the umpteenth time Maggie whispers, “Turn it off, Kate. He’s not coming until tomorrow.”
“Ok, you’re right.” I try not to show my nerves as I bite down on my bottom corner lip. Kyle has called a couple more times and another text.
I will see you tomorrow. I LOVE YOU. Kyle
I show Maggie the text and she rolls her eyes. “You ok?”
“Um, yeah, just my nerves. I know I am going to have to deal with this, but I’m not ready to talk to him. I need to move on.”
“Yes you do. Just think about seeing Reed tonight.” Maggie has a twinge of a smile as she winks overtly at me.
“It’s just hard because as much as I want to move on, a part of me is attached to him. He is my first and only love.” I look down at my hands placed in my lap.
“Well, he is not your last. Kate, you are beautiful, fun and smart. I don’t like to see Kyle have so much control over you.” She is facing me with a look of exasperation.
“I don’t like it either. He’s not always like this though. The problem is that he is a smooth talker and he can be so persuasive… I don’t trus
t myself to be around him.”
“It’s time to let someone else smooth talk you sweetie… Come on let’s wrap this up and get to McGee’s! We need some shots!” I know the distraction is what I need right now.
I laugh and give Maggie a full teeth smile to show my approval. We wrap up the dinner and meet Brandon and Derek along the way to McGee’s. We all get into McGee’s without a hitch. The bar is packed with all college students. It’s an Irish style setting. The bar itself is long and all wood with stools running alongside. In the front there is a small stage with a DJ booth and Karaoke machine. All throughout there are tables and chairs. In the back there are several pool tables and electronic dart boards. I stop because I can’t believe that I just got into a bar with a fake ID… even if Brandon knows the bouncer. No one is in the DJ booth, but Mumford and Sons’ Babel is playing. Maggie drags me straight to the bar and orders us each a lemon drop. Derek comes up behind me to join in and buys me a beer.
We find a table in the middle and all scoot around. I’m on my second beer and Jen orders a round of tequila. That one was a little rough for me, but I take it down like a champ. I look to the back of the bar and see Reed leaning against the end of the bar with his back to me. He is holding a pool stick and a pretty brunette is leaning into him and laughing. It’s not the first time I’ve seen Reed flirting. I just don’t like it. I know I have no reason to be jealous, but some part of me always is. He has become more than just a handsome face to me. From a distance Matt gestures to Reed that it’s his turn to shoot in their game of pool. He still hasn’t seen us and I am contemplating if I should go say hi since the pretty brunette is waiting in the side lines.
The Perfect Distraction (Volume 1) Page 10
