The Perfect Distraction (Volume 1)

by Melissa Rolka

  “Thank you so much, I appreciate everything.” Before my words are done she is already heading toward another patients room.

  I’m wearing the same clothes I entered in and it feels good to be out of the gown. However, I am craving a shower more now than ever. We turn a corner and head down a long corridor that has windows covering the left side. It’s the first time I’ve see natural light since yesterday. It’s a sunny day, but I’m not sure if it is warm or cool out.

  “What’s the temperature today?” I ask Amber as she says hi to a co-worker wheeling me by.

  “It’s a perfect day to get out of here, that’s for sure. It’s about sixty today. Don’t forget you need to rest and take it easy though.” I just give her a nod. I don’t feel much like talking. However, I am thrilled to be getting out of here even though I am a bit overwhelmed.

  I can see the front entrance with huge automatic sliding doors opening and closing as people hustle in and out. Amber wheels me through the first set of the doors and then asks if I want to wait in the corridor or outside. I tell her that I want to be outside to feel the sun and warm up. I still have a chill that runs through me from being in the cold hospital. She pushes me through and moves me over outside of the overhang in order for the sun to hit me. My head doesn’t have a loud throbbing anymore, but it’s sensitive and I am still weak. Eating food definitely helped me though. Amber locks my wheel chair in place and stands beside me quietly. I lean my head on my hand with my elbow propped on the arm of the wheel chair. I close my eyes enjoying the warmth of the sun for a brief moment before I hear my name being called and a cold shiver runs through me again.

  “Kate, Kate.” I look up to see Kyle walking towards me with his hands out and palms facing me.

  I can’t speak and my chest starts to close up causing my breathing to increase. I start to shake my head no and Amber has a look of confusion spread across her face. Kyle is only a short distance until he reaches me. Before I can tell Amber to move us away I see a familiar black two-door sports car racing up towards us.

  Reed screeches to a halt in front of the hospital. I swear he jumps out of the car before it’s in park and while it is still moving. Instantly his eyes find mine and give me a look of reassurance. He rushes over towards me, but continues past me to stop Kyle in his tracks.

  “Kate, pleeease,” I hear Kyle say louder than just talking, but not yelling.

  “You’ve got to be kidding me, right?” Reed approaches Kyle head on not letting him take one more step towards me. “Do not do this. Do not do this to her, especially right now.” His words come out through gritted teeth. Amber starts to wheel me back towards the entrance, but I ask her to stop.

  “I need to talk to her and see if she is ok. Kate, Kate please.” It’s a plea I have to ignore. I can’t even look at him. “Just hear me out. Shit.”

  “Back off, Kyle. Look at her, what more do you need to see. I won’t fight you here like this in front of a hospital, but so help me God you take one more step closer I’ll drag you off and beat you into next week.” I swallow hearing Reed’s stern tone, but feel relief that he won’t allow Kyle to get to me. I’m not sure if I am scared that he’ll physically hurt me, but I know he can still hurt me emotionally.

  “Fuck off.” Kyle backs up slowly. Then he takes another step forward, but stops when Reed doesn’t budge. “Kate, God damn it, look at me.” I look up because he is now yelling and I can see a crowd lingering around. I don’t look into his eyes. I feel like I am suffocating as a familiar stinging in the back of my eyes starts. I blink and the tears seep out of the corners of my eyes. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. I never meant for that to happen. I’m going to get help. I promise. Please talk to me.” Kyle drops to his knees in front of Reed begging me to acknowledge him. Reed mumbles out something to him, but I can’t make it out. I force myself to calm my breathing and avoid myself from hyperventilating. Reed glances my way and his overall look softens as he holds my stare. I take in a deep breath and without looking at Kyle I decide I need to talk.

  “No, I won’t talk to you Kyle. I hope that you do get help, I truly do, but you’ll have to do that without me. I don’t want to be a part of your life. I’m begging you to leave me alone. I will not cave this time. There is nothing you can say to bypass what has happened now.” I nod to Reed and he walks backwards towards me keeping his eyes on Kyle.

  “You heard her,” Reed says with cockiness. I move my hands to my face and let out a whimper and let myself shed more tears.

  “It’s not over, Kate. I won’t give up on us,” Kyle says this while rising from his knees. I look up and see Reed reach for the back of my wheel chair and he starts to push me towards his car with the driver door wide open. I glance back at Kyle with blurry vision from the tears. “I’m sorry and I love you,” Kyle says just loud enough for me to hear. He puts his hands in his front pockets and turns to walk the opposite direction. I don’t respond, but I know this is not love. All I can hope is that Kyle moves on and gets help.

  ******

  The ride back to my dorm is quiet other than Reed asking if I am comfortable and if my head hurts. We pull up to the doors going into my dorm and I see Maggie waiting for me. Reed gets out and helps me out of the car. I stop before I head over to Maggie and grab onto Reeds pinky finger. He pulls me in and I rest my head onto his chest. Lightly he brushes my hair to the side and kisses the top of my head.

  “I’m going to park and then I’ll be right up, ok?” He whispers in my ear and the feel of his lips grazing my ear tingles.

  “Yeah, thank you. Thank you so much. I don’t know if I can ever repay you for all of this…” My voice trails off and I am lost for a moment thinking exactly about what this is.

  “Hey, stop that. All I care about is that you are ok. All I care about is you, Katherine. I wouldn’t be here if I didn’t want to be.” I dare myself to look up into his blue eyes and warmth spreads through me. He looks sincere and passionate. I push up on the balls of my feet and press my lips against his lips. It’s a sweet and thoughtful kiss. I pull back and he sneaks his arm around my shoulders pulling me into his side as he walks me over to Maggie.

  Looking at Maggie and seeing the tears in her eyes I instantly feel my own tears prick my eyes. We don’t say anything as Reed passes me over. She scoops me up into a tight hug and I hold onto her tightly. Reed kisses my cheek and heads back to his car.

  Once back up in our dorm room, I just stand in the middle of the room frozen and unsure what to do next. My head feels foggy and my body feels weak. I look at Maggie to try to make sense of what I’m feeling, but I can’t.

  “Kyle showed up at the hospital,” I blurt out.

  “Shit. I’m sorry. He came here and it wasn’t pretty. I want to ask if you are ok, but it’s a stupid question.” I shrug and try to give her a smile, but I can’t.

  “I’m sorry you’ve had to deal with this, Mags. Really, I am so sorry. I never meant for any of this to happen. I just, I d-don’t know how to deal Kyle or confrontation in general I guess.” I rub at my temples as the pressure starts to build.

  “Don’t be sorry. You would do the same for me. I don’t want you stressing right now. I can tell you are still in pain. Do you want to take a shower or lay down?”

  “Shower.” I mumble out and head in the direction. Once I get in, Maggie tells me she is going to grab out some comfy clothes for me and have them all ready.

  I get my head under the water and let the hot water beat down through it. The warmth it spreads over my body creates a sensation of solace. My eyes remain close with my head tilted back into the spray. The throbbing in my head seems to dissipate with the light pressure beating unto my head. I reach for my shampoo and scrub down to my roots creating a light massage on my scalp. Loading my palm full of my lavender-vanilla body wash, I rub it all over my body and then just to be sure, I load it onto my wash cloth and scrub myself from head to toe. The scent fills me and I take in a deep breath to absorb more of it, but as I let my
breath out a quiet sob escapes. Uncontrollably, I cry and hug myself with the hot water beating down me. Visions of Kyle yelling, hitting the wall and coming at me crowd my mind. My head starts to throb and with each cry the intensity increases. Next I remember the frantic feeling of him forcing himself between my legs. The feel of his hand under my shirt grabbing at me turns my stomach. I turn the water off and grab my towel. Quickly, I dry myself off and reach for my clothes that Maggie neatly set on top of the toilet. I brush my teeth thoroughly and start to comb my hair out, but the throbbing becomes too much. The light in the bathroom only adds to the pain. I drop to the floor and curl into the side of the bathtub and wall. Draping my arm over my eyes I block the light as I cringe from the pain. I’m too weak to cry anymore or call out for help. I lay there consumed by the pain for several minutes. Then I hear a knock on the door and Reed’s gentle voice.

  “Katherine, are you ok?” A few moments pass and all I can do is let out a little moan.

  “I’m coming in.” I can hear him open the door cautiously.

  “Shit. Maggie!” His voice echoes in my head causing me to curl more into the bathtub. “Pull the blankets back on her bed, turn the lights off and close the blinds.” He embraces me with one arm stretched between my back and neck and then the other under my knees. Effortlessly, he lifts me and cradles me to him. The smell of pine mixes with the smell of my lavender-vanilla scent. It’s intoxicating, but I can’t enjoy it for long.

  Once he gets me into my bed, I can sense the room get even darker and hear the shuffling of what must be Maggie hanging a sheet over the window. I’m able to remove my arm from over my eyes and curl over to my right side facing the wall. I feel around for my old childhood afghan and hug it close to me. Maggie and Reed whisper, but I hear them briefly before I allow myself to fade into sleep.

  “I’m going to run out and get soup and stuff for her. Are you sure you’ll stay here?” Maggie asks Reed with hesitation in her voice.

  “I’m not leaving her Maggie, I promise you. Grab some Advil too if you don’t have some.”

  “Yeah, ok, I will.” There is a light pause. “God Reed, I was so scared.” I can hear the trembling in her voice. “I love that girl.” Another pause fills the air. “Her dad has called here a couple times probably because he can’t reach her on her cell. I’m torn because I think he should know what’s been happening… he’d want to be here for her.”

  “Let’s talk to her later after she rests and then go from there. Any extra stress is not good for her.” A few moments go by and then I hear the door open and close quietly.

  A warm body spoons me from behind and the scent of pine fills me again. Reed’s arms wrap me up comfortably and I drift quickly.

  Chapter 29

  A few hours later I feel Reed nudging me with his face nuzzled in my hair from behind me. His arms are laced around me in a protective shell. I slept deep and it feels refreshing. The torment my body felt earlier in the bathroom was the most excruciating pain I think I have ever felt. It felt worse than the stomach flu. Carefully, I turn myself in Reeds arms to face him. I’m relieved that my body is in a calm restful state still. I peek up into Reed’s face and can see that he had slept too. I wonder if he had slept at the hospital at all. Remorse and shame spread through my mind like a rapid wild fire.

  “I set my phone to wake us up a little before three hours. How do you feel?” Reed asks.

  “Better, but scared.” I don’t want to hide that I am scared because it’s true. I’m scared of Kyle, my dad, my mom, my friends, and Reed. What will everyone think of me? Reed moves his hands through my hair and cups the sides of my face. He rubs the pads of his thumbs over my cheek bones and sighs.

  “I’m scared too.” His admission takes me back. My eyes squint as I try to find clarity in his blue eyes.

  “Why?”

  “Because I don’t want anything to happen to you. Because I’m worried about your injury. Because I’m afraid you’ll stop yourself from opening up to me. Because I just really like you. So much. It’s more than like though. It’s new and it scares me.” He pauses as if to take in my reaction. He forces me to keep eye contact with him and it’s hard for me to not break away. The moment is intense and raw. All the more reason for regret, guilt, shame and remorse to flood my mind. “Now your turn… why are you scared other than the obvious?” I’m breathless for a moment. Even with Reed’s hands cupping my face I still bite down on the bottom corner of my lip. He moves his thumb down to force me to release my lip. I want to kiss him and distract us from this conversation, but I refrain.

  “Everything right now.” I swallow the lump in my throat down. “I’m scared of what you and everyone else think of me. I blame myself for the way things with Kyle have escalated.” Reed starts to say something, but I bring my fingers to his mouth to stop him. “I don’t always deal well with confrontation. I let Kyle take advantage of me because I’d rather just avoid dealing with the big issues. I’m not sure if I was always like this though. I am scared of him and the lengths he will go to, but it’s more about me. I should have dealt with Kyle more directly a long time ago. Also, I’m scared of what I feel for you. I want to open up to you because I really like you too. I just feel ashamed of my past and that you had to get involved. I feel guilty. Lastly, I’m scared that I’m too needy right now.” I know that none of this has come out in a graceful liturgy, but instead a rambling disconnected mess. I purposely avoid bringing up my mom because it’s too much for me.

  “I want you needy… but only for me.” My eyes brim with tears. It’s a simple response to everything I have just laid out, but how can my heart not melt. We both lean into each other and brush our lips together. Then his tongue sweeps into my mouth and I’m lost in Reed. My heartbeat quickens as my mind settles into a distracted state.

  This kiss doesn’t last nearly as long as I would like. Reed pulls back gently from me and I can see concern and worry over his beautifully structured face. I take a moment to just stare at him. There is a scar above one of his eyebrows that I have never seen before probably because his dark brown hair hangs in just the right way to cover it. I kiss my finger with my lips slightly sucking on the end to wet it and then press it to the scar. Reed closes his eyes taking in my gesture.

  “Katherine.” He purrs my name and it carries meaning behind it. I run my hands into his hair and greet his lips eagerly. I slip my tongue into his mouth quickly. Pressing my body into him I try to urge him more into the kiss. He stops me from escalating the kiss and our position.

  “What’s wrong?” I ask.

  “I’m just worried about you. I can’t let myself be that selfish with you.” He winks at me to lighten the blow to my ego. “It’s killing me to stop kissing you, but I just want to be here for you. How does your head feel?”

  “It’s not bad. There is a light throbbing that is always there right now. I’m not sure why all of a sudden it escalates.” I bite the bottom corner of my lip and look into his darkened blue eyes. “I like when you are kissing me. It all feels better. It stops me from thinking about … everything.”

  “Trust me, I like kissing you too, Kate. Hell, I’d like to do more than just kiss you.” He stops to run a hand through his hair to keep it from covering his eyes. The thought of what he’d like to do to me causes a rush of pleasure to sweep through me. “But I really am worried about you. I just want to take care of you and make sure you are ok.”

  “Hmmph. Fine I guess if you insist, but I can’t promise not to try.” He lets out a low chuckle and a look of shock by my forwardness.

  “Oh, I insist, beautiful.” He kisses the top of my forehead and hugs me to him. “I want to stay the night here with you. Can I talk to Maggie about it?”

  “Yes, but you need your sleep and I don’t want to bother you with having to wake every few hours. I can’t lie and say that I don’t want you with me, though.” He smiles pleased with my admission.

  A few minutes later Maggie comes into the room happy to see I
’m awake. She has bags from the store with her and shows me that she picked up Advil, canned soups, a box of crackers, a heating pad and some ice packs. Reed gets up and sits in the chair at my desk and Maggie climbs in my bed and just hugs me quietly. Maggie doesn’t ask questions and that comforts me. I know she is there for me. She knows I need time before I come to terms with everything.

  Reed tells Maggie that he is going to stay with me and make sure to wake me every few hours. Maggie seems pleased to see Reed taking care of me. She changes into her pajamas and heads out to Brandon’s room for the night.

  Reed helps me send my professors an email that I won’t be in class for the next couple days. I try to fight him on this because I never miss class, but he reminds me it was what the doctor ordered. I surrender easily because I can feel the throbbing in my head increasing. He promises me that he will not miss his classes though.

  I pull myself up more into a sitting position and smile as I watch Reed maneuver himself around my dorm room. He’s got soup in the microwave heating and two bowls ready to be filled up. Close to my bed, on my desk he has a bottle of water and a bottle of Gatorade for me. He tells me that I need to drink both before I go to bed so that I don’t get dehydrated again. I listen obediently because it is adorable to watch him fretting over me. He finds a breakfast tray on the side by the microwave and sets up my soup and crackers. Placing the tray over my lap he kisses my forehead. My heart does a little flutter and a flip in my stomach occurs at the same time. He sets his soup down on the desk and then gets up to gather some of the random candles around the room. He places them on the desk in between me and him. The lights are all off and the room has a warm glow to it now. It’s the most romantic thing that has been done for me. Kyle never did anything like this. Again my heart melts a little more. Swoon.

  “There. It’s not what I had in my mind for our date, but it’s the best I can do.” His smile touches his eyes and his squared jaw softens.