The Perfect Distraction (Volume 1)

by Melissa Rolka

  “Okay, thank you for being honest.”

  “Are you okay?”

  “Yes…” I kiss his neck tenderly and move up to his ear. “I want you just as much as I wanted you before.” My voice comes off a little shaky and broken. “I’m just nervous because I haven’t done most of what you probably have. Most things are new to me and I don’t want to disappoint you.”

  “God, you could never disappoint me. I love the fact that I may be the one to experience anything new with you. And even though I’ve had more experience, I’m telling you I have never felt or been this way with anyone. I’m not even sure what these feelings and emotions are that I have for you.” He breathes out and lifts my head to his lips and kisses me passionately. I start to kiss him down his throat over his achest and then pause to look up at him.

  “I don’t want to think about our pasts because all I want is you right now. I’m not quite sure what my feelings and emotions are for you either, but it’s so different than anything else I’ve ever felt before.” I kiss him above his heart tenderly. “Now tell me about when you noticed me…” I decide rather boldly to start up his game from earlier, but instead it is his turn. The look of surprise that flashes across his eyes causes me to grin. Then I see nothing, but adoration as he meets my gaze. I wait until he starts talking until I allow my lips to meet his skin again. I can tell that he is hesitant yet excitement emanates from him.

  “I saw you before you ever saw me and my eyes were drawn to you instantly. You had a gray tank top on and your long blonde hair hit just the right spot of your back, which showed off your tan and slender shoulders.” I start to kiss down his abdomen taking my time to glide my tongue over the grooves of his muscles. His breathing picks up, but he continues. “When you turned around and I saw your eyes and the way your smile hit them, I did a double take. Your smile is beautiful and I couldn’t help notice how your lips were heart shaped.” I continue down to the hem of his Calvin Klein’s kissing and sucking the V of his abdomen. I plant wet kisses on each hip and then bury my fingers underneath the band to start a slow decent. I peek up at him to get reassurance. “Then I saw you against the fence talking to Derek and I was hit with jealousy. I don’t think I had ever been jealous before though. I kept thinking you noticed me, but I now know you were checking on Quinn.” He lets out a deep snicker that ends in a delicious hum. His excitement is evident in the rise under his Calvin Kleins. A rush of nerves and excitement runs through me because I have never done this before, but I am eager and ready because it is Reed. I hover myself over him as I begin to pull down his last bit of clothing. He lifts upward at the right times in order to assist me. I know I am not nearly as graceful at this as he is. I travel downward in order to remove them all the way. He continues on and gives me an ounce of courage to do what I so desperately want to do for him. “When you walked over to help Quinn out, I thought you might be coming to talk to me and my heart raced. As you made your way over, I couldn’t help but envision your long legs wrapped around me.” I start to make my way back up his body and straddle myself over his thighs. “You were beautiful and then when I heard the innocence in your voice I knew I wanted you. I was too late though because Marco and Derek were chasing you around like lost puppies, but I still tried.” Before I move again to touch him I just take him in. The definition of his body is exquisite. He is toned, ribbed and smooth in all the right places. I look down to see him fully exposed and wonder how I am going to get him all inside of me. I’ve heard Maggie, Quinn and even Jenna give way too many details about when they have gone down on a guy, but I still feel timid and lack the confidence. My chest starts to rise and fall more rapidly as a panic comes over me. A flash of a memory with Kyle flits through my mind and I remember how insecure he made me feel. This is different and I know it. Reed is nothing like Kyle.

  “Hey, you don’t have to do anything, Kate. Look at me.” I look up shocked that he can see exactly what I am feeling. He starts to sit up to reach for me, but I stop him by gently pushing him back down. I know he is right that I don’t have to do this and it’s so nice to hear this from him, but I want to. I’ve never wanted to before, but I really want to now because the thought of experiencing this with him and to give him pleasure is all I want.

  “I want to, Reed. It’s you and it makes all the difference.” I hesitate for a moment as I run my fingertips up his thighs. I gently run my hand up to the base of him and stroke. He closes his eyes tightly and throws his head back. He licks his lips and then they part with an “AH” sound.

  “Kate, I’m heightened to your touch in general and now to have you touching me here… it’s almost too much. You. Are. Perfect.” I plant a wet kiss at the tip of him and raise my eyes to him. He’s looking at me with tenderness and maybe love. My heart overflows as I try to set my nerves aside.

  “I’ve never done this before and I’m a little nervous…” I feel I need to reveal my secret in case I break down.

  “Katherine, you don’t ha-” I stop him as I press my lips to his tip again and run my tongue down to the base and then back up. He lets out a deep masculine groan with the slip of a curse. His head goes back and his body is lax. This is just how I want him. I continue this course a couple times to get a feel for him. Then I part my lips and begin to take him in covering my teeth (I remember Maggie giving me this tip) with my lips and I let my tongue suck all the way down to the base of him. I repeat this several times and increase my speed. Reed’s hands gently wrap up in my hair with his fingers massaging my scalp.

  “Ah God, Katherine.” He releases my name through gritted teeth and I flick my tongue at the tip. “That feels so good, beautiful. Oh God…” He rises up and moves his hands from my head to pull me up towards him hugging me tightly to him. Then in one smooth movement he rolls me over with him on top of me between my legs. Desire and lust run through me. I’m turned on seeing the pleasure he felt because of me. I didn’t stop and suddenly fear grips me that I did something wrong. His eyes search mine and I blink back a stinging in the back of my eyes.

  “Did you not like it?” I whisper out and brace myself.

  “Yes I did, too much. I didn’t want things to end. I want you, Katherine. I need you, Katherine.”

  “Please.” It’s all I am able to mumble out as his hands roam my body freely caressing my breasts. His lips find mine and frantically move our tongues and lips together. My hands roam him just as freely. We are all tangled in each other with our hands in each other’s hair, tongues gliding over our bodies and rubbing into each other looking for release. Soft moans and deep groans escape. Reed whispers sweet and wonderful things into my ear in between. I rock myself over his tip and slide downward rubbing against his shaft eagerly. I want all of him. Drawing back with force, Reed kneels between my legs. We look into each other’s eyes breathing heavy with our chests rising and falling in unison. Reed grabs onto my hand and gently strokes my pinky finger. I subtly shake my head up and down.

  “Are you sure?” He asks me.

  “Yes, are you sure?” I ask him.

  “I don’t think I’ve ever been more sure about anything. I’m especially sure about you.” He doesn’t wink or give me one of his delicious smiles like I would think, but just holds my gaze. Then he reaches over the side of his bed and opens a drawer. I hear the crumpling of foil in his hand and then it tearing open. He slips the condom on over himself and then he’s down on me. He rests his face into the crook of my neck and kisses me building up the intensity again. One of his hands dip down and his deft fingers slide into me easily. I gasp as he gently strokes me building up a rush of heat and pleasure throughout me. I wrap my arms around him and pull him closer to my entrance.

  “Please, Reed,” I rasp out in between my breaths.

  “Beautiful Katherine. So fucking beautiful.” My legs spread further apart and he carefully presses the tip at my entrance. Our eyes lock onto each other as he continues to glide into me. He grabs onto one of my hips and guides my leg tightly around his hip
holding us even closer together. This only pushes him in even deeper and I can’t help, but to gasp loudly as I try to accommodate him. It feels tight and full, but pleasure is laced in there with a little discomfort. It’s different. We settle into each other for a moment. Reed cups my face and kisses me passionately.

  “Reed, I need you so bad,” I tell him in between our kisses. I start to rock my hips eager for the movement. Reed pulls back almost to the point of us losing contact and then thrusts back into me. “Mmmmm, more Reed,” I murmur against his lips.

  “You feel so good, Katherine. So tight. Perfect.” His hand caresses one of my breasts gently pinching unto my nipple and I arch my back from the sensation it spreads over me. We increase our movements and my tight walls clench around Reed. I lift my hips into his thrusts and each time a nerve of pleasure is hit building me closer to a release I eagerly need. The buildup is strong and I start to whimper out. Reed whispers into my ear, “Look at me, beautiful girl. I need your eyes on mine as you go.” His tone is husky, rich and demanding. I look into his crystal clear blue eyes and never waver away. I’m lost in him.

  Reed reaches down caressing and rubbing the perfect spot causing me to call his name out. I rock into him riding high on ecstasy to keep the waves of pleasure moving. Reed is right there with me calling my name as he releases himself. He kisses my forehead, cheeks and then my lips. I lay there in complete bliss with Reed still inside me and I think I don’t ever want to be anywhere else. He murmurs and whispers into the crook of my neck about how perfect, beautiful and sexy I am and that he’d do anything to get closer to me. I sigh and moan through my sated state.

  We roll to our sides trying desperately not to break our union and stay connected. Lying wrapped up against Reed’s chest almost incoherent, I flick my eyes up to his and wonder what I have to do to stay right here. We lay there gazing into each other’s eyes, somewhere deep in between liking and loving each other.

  Chapter 33

  The next morning we wake bare and wrapped up in each other. Reed continued to hold me through the night protectively, almost as if he was afraid I would disappear from his arms. At one point I woke and felt overwhelmed by the emotions running through me and tears sprung my eyes leaking onto Reed’s chest. Sleep had taken Reed deeply and thankfully he didn’t notice.

  We get ready early because Reed has classes to get to this morning. As he walks me to my dorm holding my hand tightly he whispers in my ear every so often about how amazing last night was. I can’t agree more, but now today is a new day. I’m quiet and I can see this is alarming Reed. I try to cover my dread of today as best as I can. He asks about my head and I assure him that it is fine. I do not feel any throbbing. It’s a relief and I owe that to Reed. I sigh to myself clutching Reed’s hand because I know that today will be difficult. I wish I could have stayed in Reed’s room locked up for … an eternity. Then I could continue to avoid the issues that I’ll now have to face. Once we get to the outside of my dorm building I look at my watch to see that Reed only has a short time until his class starts. I tell him that I am fine and can get up to my room. He pulls me close to him and hugs me tightly. I grab him tight and fist my hands into his hoodie. I can’t help the rising feeling of panic in my chest. I want to tell him everything, but choke on my words knowing it’s best to say goodbye and let him get to class. He snakes his hands up to my neck and then cups my cheeks prying me back from him to look into my eyes. My eyes are tear filled and glassy.

  “Hey beautiful, what’s wrong?” He says and then brushes his lips to my forehead. I bite down on my bottom corner of my lip. His steel blues lock onto mine and a tear spills from my eye down my cheek. Reed’s pad of his thumb wipes it and I can see the worry on his face. “Kate, you’re scaring me. What did I do? Tell me.”

  “Nothing, nothing. I-I just am feeling so much right now. You’ve been amazing. I just wish we could keep this moment forever.”

  “We will keep this moment and I want to keep creating new ones with you. I’m glad you think that I’ve been amazing, you deserve that and much more. All I care about is making you happy.”

  “Promise me you’ll remember this, okay?” I hold in the rest of my tears and swallow the lump in my throat.

  “Always, I don’t think I could forget this if I tried. Are you sure you’re okay, beautiful?” He kisses my cheek tenderly and latches onto one of my pinky fingers.

  “I will be.” I smile at him sweetly and he pulls me in closer. We stand there hugging for a few moments and then kiss one more time before he heads to class. He told me he would be back in a few hours after his classes. I just nodded and pushed back the increased panic rising in my chest. The urge to go for a run practically has my legs moving of their own accord. I now feel the need to distract myself from Reed in order to move forward with the day. Not being able to run based on my doctor’s orders is pure torture for me.

  ******

  I sit at my desk to see if I have heard from any of my professors. Two of them have replied to me and I am relieved by their responses. Then I see another email from Kyle. The temptation to open his email is there, but then I remember my conversation with my dad. I see the subject line “PLEASE READ THIS” and click to delete it. I close my laptop and pack it up. I move into my closet and hear the door fly open. I freeze and take a deep breath because I know Maggie is going to want details.

  “Where are you?!” Maggie practically screeches.

  “I’m right here,” I say smugly as I peek around the closet door.

  “Spill it, girlfriend.” Ugh.

  “He got me fl-” I start to tell her about the roses, but then I see the look on her face.

  “Wait, what’s going on here? Why is your stuff packed up?” She asks as she spins looking around the room. I move to sit on my bed next to my bags and fidget with my fingers in my lap.

  “I talked to my dad about what happened,” I explain. Maggie turns and her eyes look like a deer in headlights.

  “Did you tell him everything?”

  “Yes, everything. It was so hard. He wanted to drive right up to get me, but I told him that I couldn’t handle a car ride because my head hurt too bad. He’ll be here any minute now.” My hands are shaking and my voice is trembling. I’m scared to face my dad not because he’ll be mad, but I’m afraid he’ll be disappointed in me.

  “How is your head today so far?”

  “It’s better, but it hurts again a little.”

  “How long are you going home for?” Maggie asks nervously as she moves to scoot in next to me.

  “I’m not sure to be honest. I just know that I have to try to move past this stuff. All of it, but Kyle being the biggest part. I can’t wrap my brain around the fact that Kyle may have forced me. I need to try to find a way to deal with the way things are with my mom too. I feel like half of a person and it’s not fair to myself… or Reed.”

  “What are you going to do about Reed?” Sadness spills through her words.

  “I couldn’t tell him, Mags. I just couldn’t. He doesn’t know that I’m going home. I care about him so much. This is so hard.” A soft sob trembles up my throat and I can’t help myself from crying. I bury my face in my hands. The weight of everything that has happened over the last several days comes down heavy on me.

  “Shhhh Kate, it’s okay. You are going to be just fine. You are so strong. I’m so sorry you have to deal with this all. You deserve so much better than what you’ve been through. God, if I could get my hands on Kyle, he’d never have kids.” I can’t help, but let out a small giggle through my tears. She never liked Kyle and she is right not to.

  “I have a letter for you to give to Reed for me. I threw my cell phone away because I need a new number anyway. I tried my best to explain myself and I’m just praying that he’ll understand.”

  “He’ll understand. He adores you and I think he would do anything to be with you, Kate. Are you sure you don’t want to tell him yourself? He’s going to be devastated.”

  �
�I can’t, I just can’t… I have to go home and figure this out. He deserves more. He deserves a better me. I have too many issues to deal with and it’s not fair to expect him to take that on. I just have to believe that somehow he’ll understand and … maybe wait for me.”

  Maggie hugs me and a few more tears slip out of the corners of my eyes. I tell her that I don’t want to see the others before I leave because it would make it even harder. She understands and just tries to be encouraging like she always is.

  ******

  I am curled up with my head pressed against the window. The rain is beating down heavily and the sound of the wipers swiping help to fill the silence. I’m almost able to drone out the pounding in the back of my head. The pressure and buildup is a slow and steady increase throughout the morning. Now it is steady beating in the back of my head. Its intensity growing as I stress about what’s ahead of me. I know that as I face more stress, it will trigger the pain.

  I close my eyes and push back my last sight of Reed. Seeing him walk away towards class knowing that it was a bigger goodbye than I had lead on to was difficult. As he walked he kept turning back to glance at me. The smile he gave me perfectly highlighted his eyes. He looked happy and full of promise. I tried my best to match him even though my heart thudded hard against the walls of my chest making it hard to breathe. I know what I have done is wrong and selfish. I used him to get what I wanted and what I wanted was to remain distracted. Reed seems to be the only one who can do that for me and I took advantage. The greed in me to remain distracted took over. I know that my feelings for Reed are more than skin deep though. I feel emotions for him I have never felt before. I just know I need to get to a place where the greed in me to use him to stay distracted isn’t at the forefront.

  As difficult as it is to do what I am doing, I know it is the right decision. Reed deserves a whole me. I deserve a whole me. I deserve to be rid of Kyle and the mess he left in his path. Then there is the situation with my mom or lack thereof. I know that my dream of her holding me when I was in the hospital hit me harder than I let myself think. I miss her deeply. I need her so badly it has hardened me. I flutter my eyes open and look towards my dad and see the lines of worry across his face. He reaches over and grabs my hand. He holds it firmly and the tightness in my chest increases. Remembering the look on his face when he came and got me from my dorm room almost breaks me. My dad is trying to remain strong, but I can see and hear the pain in him. I know he feels like he has let me down because of the way Kyle has treated me. Being brutally honest with him when I called him was tough, but my dad is my rock and I need him to get me through this. I don’t have my mom anymore and that hurts. When I told him about Reed rescuing me from the room he thanked God. One day I’d like for my dad to meet Reed… I just have to hope Reed will still be around for that.