Volume 6 - The Wavering of Suzumiya Haruhi

by Tanigawa Nagaru

  And then, Haruhi’s clutches became even tighter,

  “I must be blind as a bat! I can’t believe I’ve actually recruited someone so dumb as to write such a stupid love letter into my brigade! Now that pisses me off! You’re to resign immediately! Man, I feel so terrible, it’s like sticking a bare foot into a shoe full of cockroaches!”

  Even though she was full of rage, Haruhi still managed to display an enigmatic looking smile. It’s as though she didn’t know what expression to use in such a situation,

  First, you are to leap up a wall with a dry salted fish in your mouth and fight for territory with other wild cats! And you have to wear cat ears while doing that!

  “Before arriving here, I’ve already thought up of thirteen kinds of punishments! First, you are to leap up a wall with a dry salted fish in your mouth and fight for territory with other wild cats!And you have to wear cat ears while doing that!”

  If Asahina-san were the one doing that in her maid uniform, I’m pretty sure it would be a sight to behold; if I were to do it, the next thing you’d see would be me being hauled off in an ambulance.

  “Though we don’t have cat ears,”

  I turned towards the window and sighed.

  I’m sorry Nakagawa, if I don’t bust you, I’ll become the next object that gets thrown out of the window after that lump of paper. If possible, I didn’t want to reveal anything about you, but if Haruhi’s misunderstanding were to continue, even Mother Nature would be messed up.

  I took a look at the widely opened eyes of the Queen of the Brigade, using the same comforting tone when trying to calm Shamisen down as I cut his claws, I said,

  “Listen to me, it’s… you’ll have to let go of me first, Haruhi. I’ll explain everything until even your dull wits finally get it.”

  Ten minutes later.

  Haruhi sat on a steel chair with her legs crossed while sipping her green tea,

  “Your friend sure is weird. Although he’s entitled to fall in love at first sight, this obsession is just pushing it too far. What a jerk.”

  Love not only makes a person blind, it causes brain damage as well, you know. Ah well, it’s not that I disagree with her last statement anyway.

  Haruhi waved the piece of wrinkled up letter,

  “At first I had thought you had teamed up with that idiot Taniguchi to make fun of Yuki. Since it sounds like the stuff that he’d do, not to mention Yuki’s the quiet, obedient type of girl, she’s bound to get fooled.”

  I don’t think you’ll be able to find anyone in this galaxy harder to fool than Nagato. But I didn’t interrupt and listened quietly. Probably sensing me refraining from talking, Haruhi took a quick menacing glance at me before suddenly reverting to a relaxed expression,

  “Forget it, you wouldn’t even dare do such a thing, You neither have the intelligence nor the cunning anyway.”

  I wasn’t sure whether she was complimenting me or dissing me, but at least I wouldn’t do something an illogical elementary school kid would do. And no matter how crap Taniguchi was at expressing himself, he wouldn’t do something so childish either.

  “But…”

  The one who lit the fuse was the resident fairy and angel of the SOS Brigade,

  “I think it sounds romantic,”

  Asahina-san said indulgently,

  “If someone were to go crazy like that over me, I think I’d be happy… Ten years, huh? I’d certainly like to meet someone who was willing to wait ten years for me. So romantic…”

  She clasped her fingers while her eyes glittered.

  I wasn’t sure whether the ‘romantic’ that Asahina-san spoke of was the same ‘romantic’ that I think of. I just felt that they have differing definitions. Maybe the vocabulary has changed in the future. After all, she was the sort of person who didn’t even understand how a boat could float on water until someone explained it to her.

  Oh yeah, Asahina-san’s attire today was rather normal, a simple sailor uniform. This was because her maid uniform, nurse uniform and all other costumes have been sent to the laundry, including the frog suit as well. When Haruhi and I had carried the whole cosplay wardrobe containing Asahina-san’s bodily fragrance to the laundry store, the store owner just kept staring at me and Haruhi, and that left a mental scar within me.

  “Nakagawa and romance are basically insulated from each other,”

  I gulped the remaining cold tea in my tea cup and continued,

  “Even if he had been reincarnated in the wrong body, he’s the sort of physical guy who’s destined to never have a chance at becoming the male protagonist in a shoujo manga. His animal horoscope is represented by the black bear, the one with a crescent mark in his chest,”

  As I said, I began to envision a figure that matches up with what he looked like in junior high.

  “Really? He sounds like a gentle muscular guy to me.”

  Though that was far different from my image, the impression both images made was similar, since he does have a well-built physique. Yet my view on him was unlike that of Asahina-san’s.

  I really should apologize to him for describing him like that, and before I could destroy all evidence of Nakagawa’s declaration of love - I ought to apologize to him for this as well, but I no longer have the strength to do it - Haruhi had already read it out passionately to everyone. After hearing it, Koizumi’s reaction was different from that of Asahina-san’s,

  “Now that was a stunning speech,”

  He continued with his ever pretentious smile,

  “The letter generally revealed to the reader a good impression about the author. While it was slightly over-idealistic, the fact that he was down-to-earth and grounded in reality was commendable enough. Though the author kind of lost himself as a result of a sudden frenzy, from his words one could see his passion and ambition. If this Nakagawa-san can really work as hard as he says he will, then he is sure to become a remarkable person in the future.”

  This psychoanalysis sounds like something from a small-practice clinical psychologist. Can you really comment on someone’s life just like that? If you can give such an irresponsible critique, then so can I. Just who are you trying to con anyway?

  “However…”

  Koizumi threw another smile at me,

  “It requires a great deal of courage to use such language in a confession letter. And you reveal yourself to be a generally nice person by agreeing to dictate it. If I were you, my fingers would have been trembling too much to be able to write anything,”

  What’s that supposed to mean? Are you giving me a thinly-veiled criticism? Unlike you, I do cherish my friendship. I’ll still go through the trouble of playing Cupid even knowing it’ll be a waste of time.

  I shrugged my shoulders and told Koizumi about what happened earlier,

  “Nagato already gave me her reply long before you came,”

  I spoke on behalf of Nagato, who was paying both Haruhi and Koizumi the same proportion of attention,

  “She said ten years was too long. Well, that’s expected, since I think so as well.”

  At this moment, Nagato, who had been silent so far, finally spoke,

  “Let me see.”

  She stretched out her tiny fingers.

  Now that surprised me, it seems to have surprised Haruhi as well.

  “I guess you are curious about it,”

  Haruhi said as though reading through the expression of the sole member of the Literature Club hidden under her bangs,

  “Though Kyon’s only responsible for dictating this love letter, you could still take it home as a souvenir. After all, this letter is either very ambiguous or very honest, but it’s rare to find this sort of confession in this day and age,”

  “Here you go.”

  Koizumi received the wrinkled piece of paper from Haruhi and passed it over to Nagato.

  “…”

  Nagato lowered her eyes and began reading my handwriting. At times her eyes seems to be focused at the same place, as if trying to grasp
the meaning of those lines of words.

  “I cannot wait.”

  Well, that’s to be expected.

  But Nagato then added…

  “But I can see him.”

  A sentence which caused everyone in the room to fall silent, she then added another line which nearly made my jaw drop,

  “I am curious.”

  After finishing, she looked at me with her usual gaze.

  It was the gaze I knew - a very determined gaze, as clear as a flawless, handmade glass artifact.

  The spring cleaning ended not quite like a typical spring cleaning. When I suggested taking care of the books on the bookshelf, Nagato did not answer with a “yes” or “no”, but just stared silently at me. Seeing those eyes that barely hid a hard to describe sadness, I just couldn’t bear taking the books down. The only board game from Koizumi’s collection that ended up in the trash can was a paper-made backgammon board that came with a magazine and was only played once.

  Asahina-san’s personal collection consisted of only her tea leaves anyway. On the other hand, for anything that Haruhi brought in, she responded with a resounding, “You can’t throw that away!”

  “Now listen up, Kyon. It’s a sin to throw away something without ever using them. I would never do such a thing. Things that can still be used ought to be reused again and again. As long as their quality lasts, I would never throw them away. That’s the spirit of environmentalism.”

  Over time, this room might gradually become a rubbish dump thanks to this girl. If you really care for the environment, then you shouldn’t be minding the business of anything that isn’t living, that’s what I think anyway.

  Haruhi tied a triangular handkerchief to her head, handed Nagato and Asahina-san a mop and broomstick, and gave me and Koizumi a bucket and cloth and ordered us to clean the windows,

  “This will be our last time visiting this place this year, so we’ll have to make this place sparkling clean before we can go home. Only then can we ensure that we can come back feeling at ease after the New Year,”

  After receiving our orders, Koizumi and I began to clean the windows. Time to time I took a look at the North High schoolgirl trio, wondering whether they were cleaning the room or just spreading dust around. My partner then spoke softly to me,

  “This is just between us. Besides the ‘Organization’, there are various other organizations that have wanted to approach Nagato-san. Because she is now just as important as Suzumiya-san and you. Among all the Integrated Data Entities, Nagato-san’s existence is particularly unusual, especially recently.”

  I sat on the window sill and breathed some warm moist air onto my hands, trying to keep away the chilling wind which was lowering my body temperature with ease, while continuing to wipe the window with the wet cloth.

  “What the hell are you talking about?”

  It is actually quite easy to play dumb. Recently however, I experienced something with Nagato and Asahina-san that had nothing to do with this Koizumi and Haruhi, and the present me exists as a result. I could not sit idly by and play dumb with this current situation.

  “I’ll think of something,”

  I continued, while looking relaxed on the outside.

  This incident was started by me, so I should take care of it myself.

  Koizumi wiped the inside of the window while smiling,

  “Indeed, I’m counting on you this time. Just trying to prepare for the SOS Brigade’s end of year snow mountain field trip is enough to keep me busy. Besides, you could still mess around with Suzumiya-san to reduce stress. Unfortunately, I do not have such a luxury.”

  “Then who’s the tomcat?”

  Yet, the beautiful smile on Koizumi’s face became twisted,

  “Don’t you think it’s about time that I take off this harmless looking mask and change this image that I don’t even know when I created it for myself? It is after all very tiring trying to talk courteously to a classmate all the time.”

  If you feel so tired, then stop it already. I completely didn’t feel like controlling his expression.

  “That won’t do. My present image fits perfectly with how Suzumiya-san would imagine me to be. I am quite an expert in understanding her mental conditions, after all,”

  Koizumi sighed in an exaggerated way,

  “On just this basis alone, I feel very envious of Asahina-san. She doesn’t even need to pretend, she only needs to be herself,”

  “Didn’t you once say Asahina-san could be making up this appearance of hers as well?”

  “Oh, did you actually believe what I said? If I can win your trust, then my hard work may have produced some fruit after all.”

  Just as pretentious as ever. It’s nearly a year already, and his flamboyant way of speech still hasn’t changed a bit. Even Nagato’s heart has gone through some changes, but you’re still as fake as ever. Asahina-san doesn’t need to change, it is best that she remains the same for now. This is because I’ve met the other Asahina-san, and know that it’s a pre-determined fact that she would grow both physically and mentally.

  “If I were to take on a different appearance…”

  Koizumi began to wipe faster,

  “Then it would not be a good omen. Keeping the status-quo is my duty. I’m sure you wouldn’t want to see me look serious.”

  “Yeah, I certainly wouldn’t want to. Since you’re always grinning idiotically all the time, you’re ideally suited to stick closely around Haruhi and help her clean up her mess or plan stuff for her. I’m really looking forward to the mystery play in the snow mountain this time. That’s more than enough, right?”

  “That has got to be the best compliment I’ve heard, please allow me to accept it in its entirety.”

  I didn’t know whether he meant it or not, since anything that Koizumi said would end up as white vapour on the glass.

  Later that night…

  I stared at the sleeping face of Shamisen who had wrapped himself in a bundle on my bed, while indulging in a sense of warmth. While wondering deeply where that warm feeling came from, I might as well try and figure out where the division between love and lust begins and ends. At that moment a thought sparked in my head that cried out That’s it!…

  “Kyon-kun! Your phone… it’s from the same person as yesterday…”

  My sister once again held the phone receiver and opened the door to my room.

  After handing the receiver which was playing some pop music tune to me, my sister then sat by the bed and began pulling Shamisen’s whiskers,

  “Shami, Shami~ Shami’s so furry, sounding so purry~”

  I looked at my sister looking cheerful, then at Shamisen looking unconcerned, then back to my sister singing away as I placed the receiver by my ear. Now what was I thinking about before all this?

  “Hello?”

  “It’s me,”

  Nakagawa, my classmate from junior high, couldn’t repress the anxiety within himself and asked straight away,

  “How’d it go? What did Goddess Nagato say? Please tell me, no matter what her reply is, I’m already prepared. Hurry up already, Kyon…!”

  Sounds like a candidate struggling for a parliament seat in an election anxious about the latest exit polls.

  “I’m sorry, but things didn’t go quite as planned,”

  I waved at my sister signaling her to get out while trying to sound sorry,

  “She said she won’t wait for you. She cannot imagine, and cannot guarantee a future ten years from now… that’s her answer,”

  My mouth slickly relayed the facts out. “But I can see him.” …I thought deeply how Nakagawa would react to this peculiar sentence from Nagato…

  “Is that so?”

  Nakagawa sounded surprisingly calm,

  “I guessed so as well. She couldn’t have agreed so easily,”

  I continued to wave my hand, humming a mindless song, my sister had no choice, but to forcefully pick up a moaning Shamisen and walked out of my room. She probably wanted to sleep
with him in her room. In about an hour, Shamisen would run with his tail between his legs back to my room. It’s typical for cats to feel aversion to humans who give them too much care and attention.

  After my sister left, I grabbed the phone and began my inquisition,

  “Hey! Is that all you have to say after I have to read such an embarrassing declaration for you?”

  If you knew you were going to fail, then don’t ask me to be your messenger!

  “Everything has to go through certain procedures,”

  You are least qualified to lecture me when you yourself have skipped through warming up and jumped straight into proposing. You have disregarded the basic rules of Shogi, who on earth would do a checkmate on their first move anyway?

  “I know, it must be distressing to receive a love confession from a complete stranger.”

  If you knew that already you should have kept quiet in the first place. The only people who would knowingly step onto a landmine are members of the bomb squad or people seeking excitement.

  “But I thought at least Goddess Nagato would become more or less interested in me.”

  This was pretty much part of Nakagawa’s elaborate crime. Nakagawa was indeed the first person that Nagato felt “curious” about. Such was the devastating power of Nakagawa’s background. I dare guarantee that at least his shamelessness is unrivalled on the whole planet at present.

  “That’s why, Kyon, I need to ask you for another favor.”

  What is it this time? My kindred spirit was about to be chipped away completely now.

  “Did you know that I joined the American Football Team in high school?”

  Nope, this was my first time hearing it.

  “Really? That’s the thing, besides this I don’t have any other requests. This time we’ll be having a friendly match with an American Football team from another boys school. Please do bring Goddess Nagato along to watch this match. Of course, I’m in the the starting lineup.”

  “When’s the match?”

  “Tomorrow.”

  Didn’t I say this before? Handling just one difficult creature like Haruhi was enough for me. Why must their schedule be so tight all the time?