Life and Death

by Stephenie Meyer

  “You seem very confident,” Carine said to Edythe.

  “I got a good look at their minds. They don’t want this fight, either. There are eight of us. They know they won’t win if it comes to actual bloodshed.”

  “It can’t. I won’t hurt them.”

  “I’m not in disagreement with that. But it would cause problems, if we left now.”

  “I know.”

  I listened, but my thoughts were far away, thinking about Bonnie and Charlie and the fact that I should be nowhere near human beings right now. I’d heard plenty from the others about the newborn years, especially Jessamine, and I wasn’t ready to try to be the first exception to the rule. Sure, I hadn’t had a hard time picking up most things, and everyone was surprised by how … calm I was, but this was different. Edythe had been very careful to make sure I was never tested when it came to the most important thing—not killing anyone. And if I screwed up tonight, not only would I destroy my father’s world—he needed a friend now like he never had before—but I’d also ignite some kind of war between the Cullens and the giant werewolves.

  I’d never felt clumsy in this new body, but suddenly that same sense of impending doom was hanging over me. Here was my chance to mess things up in a really spectacular way.

  Edythe led us northeast. We crossed the freeway where it turned east toward Port Angeles and continued due north for a short time, following a smaller road. Edythe stopped in a wasteland on the side of the dark road, a large clearing recently made by loggers.

  “Edythe, I don’t think I can do this.”

  She took my hand. “We’re upwind. Carine and I will try to stop you if something happens. Just remember not to fight us.”

  “What if I can’t control it? What if I hurt you?”

  “Don’t panic, Beau, I know you can do this. Hold your breath. Run away if it gets bad.”

  “But Edythe—”

  She put her finger to her lips and stared southward.

  It wasn’t long before a set of headlights turned into view.

  I was expecting the car to pass. After all, the wolves wouldn’t even fit inside the little sedan. But it slowly came to a stop not far from where we waited, and I realized it was Bonnie inside, and someone else in the driver’s seat.

  Then two of the wolves were there, coming from the forest on the other side of the road. They split to move around the car on either side; it looked protective. The woman in the driver’s seat got out and came around to get Bonnie. I was sure it wasn’t Sam, though her hair was just as short. I stared at her, wondering if I’d met her on the beach, too, but she didn’t look familiar. Like Sam, she was tall and looked strong.

  Clearly she didn’t just look strong. She picked Bonnie up in her arms and carried her like the older woman weighed nothing. Kind of like the way the Cullens had thrown me around as if I were a feather pillow. Maybe the wolves—because obviously this was the gray wolf who was missing from the original trio—were stronger than normal humans, too.

  Sam and the dark brown wolf led the way as the tall woman carried Bonnie behind them. Sam stopped a good thirty yards away from where we stood.

  “I can’t see as well as you,” I heard Bonnie say tartly. Sam prowled another ten yards forward.

  “Hello, Bonnie,” Carine said.

  “I can’t see, Paula,” Bonnie complained again. Her voice sounded rough and weak to me; I’d been listening to no one but vampires for a month. The half-wolf, half-human pack moved slowly forward until they were only ten yards away. I held my breath, even though the light wind still blew from behind me.

  “Carine Cullen,” Bonnie said coldly. “I should have put it together sooner. It wasn’t till I saw you at the funeral that I realized what had happened.”

  “But you were wrong,” Edythe said.

  “That’s what Sam says,” Bonnie answered. “I’m not sure she’s right.” Bonnie’s eyes flickered to me, and she shuddered.

  “All we have is Beau’s word and our own. Will you believe either?” Edythe asked.

  Bonnie harrumphed, but didn’t answer.

  “Please,” Carine said, and her voice was much kinder than either of the others’. “We’ve never hurt anyone here. We won’t start now. It would be better for us not to leave immediately, otherwise we would go without an argument.”

  “You don’t want to look guilty,” Bonnie agreed sarcastically.

  “No, we would rather not,” Carine said. “And in truth, we are not in breach.”

  Bonnie looked at me. “Then where is Beau? Do you expect me to believe he’s inside that thing that bears some slight resemblance to him?” Hurt was strong in her voice, but so was hate. I was surprised by her reaction. Did I really seem so different? Like I wasn’t even here?

  “Bonnie, it’s me,” I said.

  She winced at my voice.

  I was out of air. I gripped Edythe’s hand and took a shallow breath. Still upwind, it was okay.

  “I know I look and sound a little different, but I’m still me, Bonnie.”

  “So you say.”

  I raised my free hand helplessly. “I don’t know how to convince you. What I told Sam was true—another vampire bit me. She would have killed me, too, except that the Cullens got there in time. They didn’t do anything wrong. They were always trying to protect me.”

  “If they hadn’t gotten involved with you, this would never have happened! Charlie’s life wouldn’t be broken in pieces—you’d still be the boy I knew.”

  I’d had this argument before, and I was prepared. “Bonnie, there’s something you didn’t know about me… . I used to smell really good to vampires.”

  She flinched.

  “If the Cullens hadn’t been here, those other vampires would still have come to Forks. They might have killed more than me while they were here, but I can promise you, if Charlie had survived, he would be missing me just the same. And there would be nothing left of the boy you used to know. You might not be able to see it, but I’m still here, Bonnie.”

  Bonnie shook her head, less angry, though, I thought. More sad. She looked at Carine. “I’ll concede that the treaty is intact. Will you tell me your plans?”

  “We’ll stay here another year. We’ll leave after Edythe and Archie graduate. It will look natural that way.”

  Bonnie nodded. “All right. We’ll wait. I apologize for our infraction tonight. I …” She sighed. “It was a mistake. I was … overwrought.”

  “We understand,” Carine said softly. “There was no harm done. Maybe even some good. It’s better to understand each other as much as possible. Perhaps we could even talk again some—”

  “The treaty is unbroken,” Bonnie said in a hard voice. “Don’t ask any more from us.”

  Carine nodded once.

  Bonnie looked at me again and her face fell.

  The breeze shifted.

  Edythe and Carine both grabbed my arms at the same time. Bonnie’s eyes went wide and then narrowed angrily. Sam snarled once.

  “What are you doing to him?” Bonnie demanded.

  “Protecting you,” Edythe snapped.

  The dark brown wolf took a half-step forward.

  I took a quick breath, preparing myself to run if it was bad.

  It was bad.

  Bonnie’s scent was like fire as it rushed down my throat, but it was more than just pain. It was a thousand times more appealing than any of the animals I’d hunted, not even in the same class. It was like someone waving a perfectly cooked filet mignon in front of me after I’d been living on stale crackers for a year. But more than that. I’d never tried drugs, but I thought Edythe’s heroin comparison might be the closer version.

  And yet, while I wanted to quench my thirst … badly … I knew instantly that I didn’t have to. I wouldn’t want to be any closer to her, no, but I was pretty sure I could handle it even then. I’d expected that when the newborn thing reared its ugly head, I wouldn’t be able to think or decide. That I wouldn’t be a person anymore, I’d
be an animal.

  I was still me. A very thirsty me, but me.

  It only took half a second for me to figure all this out.

  “No, don’t worry, Bonnie,” I said quickly. “I’m new to this, and they don’t want me to … lose it, you know? But I’m okay.”

  Edythe slowly took her hand off my arm. Carine looked at me, her face kind of … awed.

  Bonnie’s eyes were still narrowed, but I could see she was confused, too. She hadn’t expected me to act so much like myself, maybe. I decided to take advantage of the unexpected opportunity. I took another breath, and though it hurt just as badly, I knew I was fine.

  “So it sounds like I won’t have a chance to talk to you again,” I said. “And I’m sorry it’s that way. I guess I don’t understand all the rules yet. But since you’re here, if I could just ask one favor …”

  Her face got hard again. “What?”

  “My dad.” My breath did that weird hitching thing again and I had to take a second before I could go on. Edythe put her hand on my back, but it was for comfort this time. “Please, just … take care of him? Don’t let him be alone too much. I never wanted to do this to him … or my mom. That’s the hardest part of all this. For me, it’s fine. I’m good. If only there was anything I could do to make it better for them, I would, but I can’t. Could you please watch out for him?”

  Bonnie’s face went blank for a minute. I couldn’t read it. I wished I could hear like Edythe did.

  “I would have done that regardless,” Bonnie finally said.

  “I know. I couldn’t help asking, though. Do you think … you could let me know if there ever is something I can do? You know, from behind the scenes?”

  She nodded slowly. “I suppose there may be some of Beau left after all.”

  I sighed. She was not going to believe it if I told her that all of me was left, that there was just more added on top.

  “Is there anything else I can do for you?”

  I froze for a tenth of a second, surprised by the offer. I could tell Edythe and Carine were surprised, too. But there was something more I wanted.

  “If … ,” I began. “Will you ever tell Jules about any of this?” I looked at the enormous wolves flanking Bonnie. “Or will it always be a secret?”

  I didn’t understand the look that crossed her face now. “Jules will know soon enough.”

  “Oh. Okay. Well, if she can know about me, can you tell her that I’m happy? It’s not so bad, this whole vampire thing.”

  Bonnie shuddered. “I’ll tell her what you said.”

  “Thanks, Bonnie.”

  She nodded, then she looked at the tall girl carrying her and jerked her chin back the way they’d come.

  As they turned, I saw a tear escape the corner of her eye. The wolves backed away from us, too.

  I hoped it wasn’t the last time I would see Bonnie. I hoped that when Jules was in on the secret, I would be allowed to see her, too. Or at least talk to her again. I hoped that maybe someday the wolves would see that the Cullens were heroes, too.

  Bonnie’s car drove away. The wolves melted into the trees. I waited until Edythe was done listening to their departure.

  “Tell me everything,” I said.

  She smiled. “I will when we get home—so I don’t have to repeat all of it. There was a lot.” She shook her head, like she was amazed.

  We started running. Not so fast as before.

  “Huh. Actual werewolves. This world is even weirder than I thought,” I said.

  “Agreed,” Edythe said.

  “That’s right—you thought there weren’t werewolves here anymore. That must have been kind of a shock.”

  “They weren’t the most shocking thing I saw tonight.”

  I looked at her, then at Carine. Carine smiled like she was in on some joke.

  “I mean, I knew you were special, Beau, but that was something else back there. Jessamine’s not going to believe it.”

  “Oh. But …” I stared at her. “You said you knew I could do this.”

  She dimpled. “Well, I was pretty sure the wind would hold steady.”

  Carine laughed, then she exchanged a glance with Edythe. She sped up as Edythe slowed. In a second, we were alone.

  I kept pace with Edythe, and stopped when she stopped. She put her hands on either side of my face.

  “It’s been a long day. A hard one. But I want you to know that you’re extraordinary, and I love you.”

  I pulled her tight against me. “I can handle anything as long as you’re with me.”

  She wrapped her arms around my neck. “Then here I will stay.”

  “Forever,” I said.

  “Forever,” she agreed.

  I leaned down until my lips found hers.

  Forever was going to be amazing.

  Looking for the latest news on your favorite YA authors?

  Want early access to new books and the chance to win advance copies?

  Bring the (book) party to your in-box with the NOVL enewsletter:

  theNOVL.com/enewsletter

  Join the NOVL community:

  theNOVL.com

  Twitter.com/TheNovl

  Instagram.com/TheNovl

  Facebook.com/TheNovl

  AFTERWORD

  We meet again, gentle reader.

  I know it’s a lot, to expect you to read both a foreword and an afterword, but there are a few things I wanted to say that I couldn’t include in the beginning without spoiling the fun of your read.

  So, obviously, I have cheated. I did not stay true to the original story in the conclusion of my swap, and I am not sorry. It was exciting, and I very much enjoyed writing the alternate ending.

  But let me be quick to say, the fact that Beau becomes a vampire has nothing at all to do with the fact that he is a boy, not a girl. This change also does not mean that I prefer it to the original or think that the original was “wrong.” This has always just been the big what if?, and I wanted to see what it would feel like if Twilight had been the end of the story. If, like Beau, Bella had left the airport just five minutes earlier.

  There’s a lot of happiness in Beau and Edythe coming together, in taking away the stumbling block between them, so much earlier. But there’s also great sadness. As a human, Bella had to endure a lot more pain than Beau did, but in the end I know she would tell you it was all worth it. Beau will be fine—more than fine, he’ll be very happy—but he’ll always have the one big regret. Bella was able to put her house in order, and she’s confident she got the best version of the story.

  So that is the end of Beau and Edythe’s story. You are free to imagine the rest—when, where, and how they get married … what Victor might try in order to get revenge … what Beau and Jules will say to each other when they meet again … if Beau and Royal ever become friends … whether the Volturi led by Sulpicia are a more benign, less corrupt organization (I think so)… .

  I hope you’ve enjoyed a different look at Twilight that really isn’t very different at all (except for the end, which I don’t apologize for).

  Again, thank you for everything you’ve meant to me in the last ten years.

  Thank you!

  Stephenie

  P.S. I didn’t make a playlist for this one as I usually do, because the music I’m listening to now didn’t exist in 2005, when the story begins, and that felt off. But if you are interested, the “sound track” inside my head for this one is basically three albums: Royal Blood by Royal Blood, Seeds by TV on the Radio, and 2.0 by Big Data.

  Copyright

  This book is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents are the product of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual events, locales, or persons, living or dead, is coincidental.

  Copyright © 2015 by Stephenie Meyer

  Title page illustration © Joel W. Rogers/CORBIS

  Cover photograph © Roger Hagadone

  Cover © 2015 Hachette Book Group, Inc.


  All rights reserved. In accordance with the U.S. Copyright Act of 1976, the scanning, uploading, and electronic sharing of any part of this book without the permission of the publisher is unlawful piracy and theft of the author’s intellectual property. If you would like to use material from the book (other than for review purposes), prior written permission must be obtained by contacting the publisher at permissions@hbgusa.com. Thank you for your support of the author’s rights.

  Little, Brown and Company

  Hachette Book Group

  1290 Avenue of the Americas, New York, NY 10104

  lb-teens.com

  Little, Brown and Company is a division of Hachette Book Group, Inc.

  The Little, Brown name and logo are trademarks of Hachette Book Group, Inc.

  The publisher is not responsible for websites (or their content) that are not owned by the publisher.

  Zephyr Typeface used in Life and Death. Software © P22 Type Foundry, Inc.

  First ebook edition: November 2016

  ISBN 978-0-316-55795-5

  E3-20161017-JV-PC