by Joey Bush
That sealed it for me. Ryder was getting under my skin.
“Is there anything else before I let you go dream of Ryder?” Sayler asked.
“I guess not. I doubt I will sleep at all. I’m too worried about getting kicked out of school. I pretend college is no big deal. But it’s Sayler. It’s a very big deal. I’m going for a walk.”
“That’s a stupid idea. It’s dark and you’re on a college campus,” Sayler warned.
“I took self-defense in high school. I took it with you. We kicked ass,” I said as I was putting on my sneakers. I put my hair back in a ponytail and threw on a cap.
“Okay, I’m going to call you in thirty minutes. Answer the phone or I’m sending in the posse.”
“Will do Sayler. Thanks for listening and making me laugh. Love you.”
“Love you Jenna. Talk to you in thirty.”
****
I walked out of Leach Hall through the commons. I planned to head to Campus Center and do some people watching. I was thinking about Ryder. What would I do if I had to choose between Ryder and continuing at South Carolina? It had not gotten that far yet. Maybe Ryder just wanted to end things civilly. We would part ways. I would continue to be a student and he could keep teaching. In the back of mind, I knew it would not happen quite like that.
I passed by a lot of students who were jazzed up on caffeine and some who were high on other things. I ran into a familiar face from class, though and the last thing I wanted to do was talk.
“You are the girl from freshman sexuality.” The girl with the spastic head and her friend were looking at me. I had nothing to say. There was an awkward silence as the duo stared at me quizzically.
“Yes I’m a freshman sexuality student, along with over a thousand other people. I hope you were able to find the dining hall,” I said.
“My dorm is right next to the dining hall. I can get there blindfolded,” The girl with another equally messy ponytail said. She threw her hands on her hips. I wondered if the girl was gas lighting me or perhaps my mind was playing tricks on me.
“Oh, I must have you confused with someone else,” I said, although I was sure she had asked me for directions.
“The first day of school can get crazy. I’m Rozi and this is my friend Rosemary.” I looked at them and I knew it was my turn to react. I extended my hand.
“I’m Jenna Walsh. I certainly remember seeing you in the front row Rosemary.” I smiled.
“That was me. How do you like the professor?”
Awkward.
“He is one of my younger professors. I suppose he’s fine so far. It was nice meeting you both. I have to run and meet someone. I will see you in class.” I started to walk away.
“Wait Jenna. I thought you mentioned to your friend that you knew Professor Ryder Curran?” Rozi asked.
“Now I think you’re crazy. I never would’ve said that because I don’t know Ryder. If you heard me commenting to my friend, you must have just misunderstood. We were talking about my father and his name is Ryder. I was telling my friend that I blew past him on the highway on the way to school—ended up with a speeding ticket,” I lied.
Great! I had made up a story about my dead father and gave him a new name. Good job, Jenna.
“I guess I will see you in class, Jenna,” Rozi said, as the two girls scattered away like palmetto bugs when the lights turned on.
That was too close for comfort. Being kicked out of school wasn’t in my life plan. I didn’t have a plan really but more of a general idea and college was a part of it.
I was in a new environment and I needed a change. Earlier, I had passed by a hair salon in the Campus Center. A shampoo and a pedicure were what I needed. My ass was still buzzing with messages, presumably from Ryder. My resolve was wearing down and I was tempted to return his messages. I needed something to take my mind off matters. But, with no distraction in sight, I peeked at my phone.
Can’t sleep. Call me!
Call me – any time
We need to talk. Didn’t know
Miss u
Pls Jenna
Now he missed me. He probably wanted to make sure I didn’t tell anyone. Too late.
There were twenty more messages. The salon was closed. I was so amped up on sugar and I needed to do something. Out of the corner of my eye, I spotted a barber pole. I figured I had nothing to lose so I sashayed over to the shop, which was open. Two college-aged students were lain back in chairs waiting for customers. A man getting ready for ROTC, or he just liked his hair very short, sat in one of the seats. Piled in his lap were ringlets of black hair. I walked through the door, which activated a bell.
“Hey, can I help you with something” A man sprang up with clippers in his hand.
“Hello. You give haircuts here right?”
I removed my baseball cap and released my locks. My hair felt longer than I remembered from hours before. I remembered how Ryder’s fingers were tangled in it.
“There is a woman’s salon not far from here. They are closed now but they will open up tomorrow at 9 AM. I think you will find the place more suitable. To be honest, I’m new to this barber deal. It is a work study gig.” As he spoke, he clicked on and off the clippers. The sound was unsettling.
“I’m in the right place. You can practice. Are you game?” I asked.
He glanced at me sideways. “Hop on.” He brushed off the chair and patted the seat. The other barbers started paying attention. The other customer with his hair only half finished raised his hand.
“Wait a sec dude. I gotta see this,” he said.
“Okay mam. My name is Ryder by the way. What do you want exactly?” he asked.
What a day. Of course, he would be named Ryder.
“Not really sure. Shortish or shorter. Use your imagination. I’m accustomed to bringing in a page torn out of a fashion magazine. I’m trying to forget someone. Have you ever heard the expression? I’m gonna wash that man right out of my hair. I’m trying to cut him out,” I said.
“Cool. I want a chick to do that in my honor someday. It’s a little sexy. Not to be inappropriate or anything.” Ryder the barber was suddenly interested.
“This is good shit. Can I film this?” the other barber chimed in.
“I would rather you not. I already have a friend who’s an aspiring director. He gets first dibs on anything I do.” I laughed as I thought of Max.
Ryder the barber started spraying my hair with the water bottle.
“It is easier to cut hair when it’s wet. That is what I heard. You are a special customer so I want to get this right.”
He started running his fingers through my hair. I closed my eyes and thought for a moment that it was my Ryder. I opened my eyes and I remembered where I was. My reflection in the mirror with the black cape draped over my shoulders made me nervous. Ryder the barber ran his comb the length of my hair, which came just below my shoulders.
“Let’s get this party started Ryder,” I said.
He placed the steel blades against my chin. It was an oddly erotic feeling or it would’ve been if the right person was holding the sheers.
“No,” I said and Ryder the barber jerked away the scissors.
“Are you having second thoughts Jenna?”
“I want you to start with the clippers. Go up from the back of my neck. Just leave a little in the front.”
I closed my eyes. Ryder the barber was breathing heavily. His breath smelled of coffee and the burrito that lay half eaten nearby. He started the clipper, which began to hum.
My phone rang and Ryder the barber stepped away. When I saw it was Sayler I thumbed the answer button.
“Poor timing Sayler. I’m at the hair salon…barbershop. Out with the old and in with the new.”
“Jenna! Are you drunk?!” Sayler screamed into the phone.
“No. I’m as sober as a judge. I’m on a bit of a sugar high but my wits are about me. I have come across a guy who’s going to give me a drastic new look. His name is Ryder.
What are the chances? I’m in good hands.”
“You aren’t thinking clearly Jenna. I don’t care how the hell you look, but you care. I remember when I convinced you to cut your beautiful long hair before. The first hunk of hair that fell to the ground was traumatizing. As your tresses fell, you got upset. If you still want to do this tomorrow. I will drive up and do it with you. Please wait until tomorrow Jenna.”
I thought for a moment as I sat looking in the mirror. I had a moment of clarity.
“You seem like a nice guy. I’m going to put my sheering on hold. If I decide to go through with this I will definitely look you up.” Ryder the barber looked crestfallen as he removed my black cape.
“You will know where to find me Jenna. Whoever you’re trying to cut out, is a pretty eff’n lucky person.”
I grinned. “Thanks.”
I climbed out of the chair with my phone still pressed against my ear. She had heard the decision to postpone my haircut.
“Okay I’m back,” I told her.
“Thank god you didn’t do it. I’m the first one to act on impulse, but I’m glad you decided wisely. Just sleep it off. Ryder Curran can wait until tomorrow. I will call you in the morning.” Sayler disconnected and I walked back to my room.
The buzzing had stopped. Ryder must have fallen asleep. I imagined him snuggled beneath the blankets. The place I had been not long ago. I wanted to be lying next to him, as much as I knew it wasn’t right. I went to sleep to the cadence of Kelly’s snoring.
Chapter Three
Leach Hall was quiet at 6 AM and Kelly was still sleeping a couple of yards from me. It was going to take time getting used to sleeping with another person in the room. I had slept in the room with my parents a few times when I was young. I had slept in the same bed with Sayler and with some other girls at summer camp. Of course, there was one other person I had slept in the same room with and that was Ryder. All roads still led back to Ryder.
Kelly and I had managed to merge our styles, which were both eclectic. Somehow, together they blended nicely. I was beach bohemian, whatever that meant. Kelly was Midwestern cosmopolitan, which was equally as obscure. It showed that we were both trying to figure out who we were and who we wanted to become.
It was apparent that we slept differently. She snored and I did not. I expected a farm girl who would rise at dawn like myself. She showed no signs of movement at six. I wore a nightshirt when it was appropriate and I preferred to sleep naked. From beneath Kelly’s mountain of blankets peaked giant cow slippers and red plaid pajamas. She was showing a hint of the farm girl I had expected.
My bed was low to the ground and Kelly’s was close to the ceiling. We didn’t have bunk beds but decided to use our space differently. Her desk was underneath her bed and mine was at the foot of my bed.
I thought of Ryder’s spacious bedroom. Two of my dorm rooms would fit into his place.
I had brought a rug. My mom picked it up at a garage sale. Who knows what type of bodily fluids were on the thing but it was cute. A beige Berber covered in seahorses. If I ever had trouble sleeping, it would provide an alternative to counting sheep.
Smell was the most difficult thing to get used to. I realized that scent was subjective. If Kelly favored patchouli or something else I didn’t care for, I could deal. The odor was of the personal nature. Sweet Kelly had dragon breath. I had never sniffed a dragon’s breath but I imagined it would be similar. It smelled like dog shit and this I had smelled. I knew I had to address Kelly about it at some point. I asked the advice of others and searched online. Sayler said, “Tell Her.” She was blunt and I wasn’t. I tried the passive approach, left out mouthwash, and offered her mints and gum. I resorted to bobbing and weaving to avoid a direct hit. Oh well, it took my mind off Ryder for a moment. It didn’t work for long because I started to wonder how he would handle the situation.
“Housing didn’t ask me if I wanted to room with an early riser.” Kelly stretched and yawned. Her open mouth filled the entire room with her odor. It would’ve filled a space twice the size.
“I got in to the habit. Soccer practice at school took place before classes. My classes begin at 8 AM, so I hope you can adjust. I will try to be quiet,” I said
“I will get some of those night shades like they give you on the airplane. My parents fly a lot so they can hook me up. Where did you go last night? It’s none of my business but I was worried. You were bent out of shape after that sexuality professor thing.”
“It is a long story, Kelly. It’s all good and I feel better after a solid night sleep.”
I tugged my ponytail to assure that it was still there. I was relieved but found the experience of almost doing something spontaneous exciting.
“I’m going to hit the showers, Kelly. Today I will try not to spend the day regretting my attire.”
The showers were prison-like. I had finally gotten around to watching Orange is the New Black. I had never been to prison, but they were not much different from depicted. They smelled of antiseptic cleanser, which was better than Kelly’s breath. I thought that perhaps I could get her to gargle with the stuff. I washed and conditioned my hair. I was happy it was in my hands and not in the hands of Ryder the barber. Wrong Ryder.
I thought college life was predictable until I realized there was more than showering happening in the next stall. I was in the single sex women’s shower room but there was definitely a male voice emanating from over the concrete divider. It was combined with a female voice. At first I was alarmed, but they were willing participants in their antics. It was just before 7 AM and the pair thought they had privacy. I planned to allow them go about their business. I would shower quietly and exit when I was done. Almost finished, I dropped my bar of soap. It slipped under the tiled concrete divider.
“Did you drop this?” A male voice asked.
A hairy arm reached under the divider. It was a male arm holding my bar of soap.
“Yeah, thanks,” I said as I grabbed back the white bar.
“This is awkward. I’m Eric. I live upstairs and I’m visiting Diane.”
“I appreciate it, Eric. I’m Jenna. I’m sure to see you in the halls. I will recognize the arm, I guess. Hi, Diane.”
“Nice to meet you Jenna. I know your roommate Kelly…she’s from Kansas right?” Diane asked.
“Yep. Well, have a nice day.” What else was I going to say?
So went my introduction to the shower facilities at college. I thought of my life a month prior and I realized I had believed that there was little remaining that could surprise me. I was wrong. I grabbed my essentials and headed back to my room.
I changed my clothes as Kelly began dragging herself out of bed. There was a knock at the door, which was a surprise, as I wasn’t expecting anyone.
“Kelly, please check who that is. It must be someone for you but give me a sec to get dressed,” I said. I was going to run five miles after my first class so I had on my athletic gear with a t-shirt on top.
“Yes, who’s there? This is Kelly and Jenna’s room.” Kelly had not opened the door yet.
“I’m here to see Jenna Walsh.” It was Ryder’s voice.
The past few weeks flashed before my eyes. Kelly had not even opened the door yet. I was caught in an avalanche of memories when I heard Ryder’s voice. I stood still as Kelly opened the door to reveal Ryder dressed in Jeans, an oxford, a tie and a golf cap. Time seemed to stop as his gaze met mine in an instant. In unison, we both shook off the stare. Ryder turned his attention to Kelly who had not said a word.
“Hey, I’m Ryder Curran. You seem familiar. Perhaps you’re in one of my freshman lectures.” Ryder approached Kelly with an extended hand.
“No, I’m in the smaller class. They added an extra human sexuality lecture to accommodate the unusually large freshman class. I would remember you, Professor Curran.”
Kelly looked at me after she spoke. She knew she had said too much. Now Ryder knew that she knew who he was and why he was at our door. She
looked at me with a questioning glance.
“Kelly, would you mind giving Jenna and I a few moments? If it’s okay with you Jenna, I have to speak with you regarding class,” Ryder said.
My heart thumped hard in my chest.
“That’s fine. I will head to the showers and if you need more time I will go visit with Diane down the hall,” Kelly said.
“Oh yeah. I met Diane in the bathrooms. Nice girl. I’m thinking maybe you should visit Diane another time. I believe she has a guest. We won’t be long.”
“All righty then.” Kelly left the room tentatively as she looked at Ryder and me. She closed the door behind her.
Ryder started to approach me. I wasn’t sure if he anticipated a warm embrace.
“Ryder. You cannot come to my room like this.” I stopped his advancement towards me with my palm as I threw out my arm. “There are rules. A professor – a human sexuality professor—who’s involved with a student is highly inappropriate. I will be thrown out of this university, leaving me little chance of being accepted anywhere else. You will lose your job. You will be blackballed within academia. Are you willing to survive a life without golf? You won’t be able to afford a round of golf at the public course. I’m not willing to go back home and live with my mom in my childhood bedroom.” I stopped.
Ryder stood motionless and allowed me to rant. A grin started forming.
“Really Jenna?”
“Don’t really me. Didn’t you hear a word that I said? This whole relationship can have serious repercussions,” I stammered.
“I don’t mean to discount what you’re saying Jenna. I was just as shocked as you were when I saw you in my class. I should have known, or at least suspected, that you would be in my lecture.” Ryder paused to clear his throat. “I did not realize how much I missed you until I saw you. This relationship – as you called it – means something to me.”
“Doesn’t everything I said mean anything to you?” I whispered.
“You mean more Jenna. The money isn’t a problem and I’ll be able to afford golf still.”
How would he still be able to afford it? I knew if I asked, he wouldn’t answer. He seemed to like having secrets.
