by Joey Bush
“Yeah, but I think you’re saying it to the wrong person,” Kelly said.
My conversation with Kelly took time and it was approaching 2 PM; Ryder had not called. Kelly left for class and I took a deep breath and departed for my meeting with the Dean.
****
I walked up the marble steps of the stately administration building. I had never expected that I would enter under such circumstances. In my fantasies, I expected I might be there to receive an academic honor. An ample woman seated behind a desk greeted me when I walked in.
“You must be Jenna Walsh. The dean is expecting you and he’ll be with you in a few moments. You can take a seat to the left. I have this for you to read before you meet with the dean. I know you have seen it before since it was one of the many things you signed at registration.”
I sat on the green leather couches. They were unlike the vinyl seats I had seen before. I wondered if they were meant to intimidate. If so, it worked.
I opened the booklet.
University Code of Conduct
I knew I was screwed without even reading further. I rolled up the pamphlet and used it to tap the armrest as I waited. The fat chick at the desk was staring daggers at me. She knew exactly why I was there and seemed to enjoy my predicament. I wished I had gone with the tight jeans. They thought I was a slut anyways and I was fooling myself trying to look sophisticated.
“Hello, Jenna. Come into my office,” Dean Meadows said as he gestured for me to enter. “Please sit down and make yourself comfortable.”
I took a seat before his large mahogany desk. “As stated earlier, you were seen kissing your freshman human sexuality professor at the Seven Wonders putt-putt establishment.” The sentence sounded so absurd that, combined with his formal delivery, I was tempted to laugh. However, I held it together out of fear.
“May I ask who the witness was?” I asked.
“No, everything is confidential. It is for your protection as well as that of anyone else involved. You have the right to know that this conversation is being audio recorded. We have received several anonymous complaints over the past several months.”
“Several complaints? Ryder Curran is my professor but he’s also my golf instructor. I don’t recall kissing Ryder Curran, if there was physical contact, it was congratulatory. We have worked hard on my game. You see it all of the time in professional golf. When Tiger Woods or Rory McElroy wins a golf tournament, they hug their caddy.”
“I’m sorry if this seams indelicate, but it was noted that a tongue was involved.”
“Yeah, that qualifies as indelicate. I’m sure that this misunderstanding will be cleared up easily. I will watch my P’s and Q’s from now on.” I started to leave.
“I’m afraid it’s not that simple, Ms. Walsh. Our freshman human sexuality program is known throughout the country. We are the first large university to have a class of this nature as a freshman requirement so this is a black eye on the university. We will be conducting a full investigation.”
“Fine. What does that mean for me?” I asked.
“You will be suspended from the university immediately. You won’t be allowed within a half mile of campus for the duration of our investigation. If you’re reinstated, any costs incurred, such as finding alternate housing, will be reimbursed.” Dean Meadows neatly folded his hands as if he was adjourning the meeting.
“Are you saying that I cannot return to my room?” I said.
“We will give you 24 hours to collect you things. You can have the majority of your belongings sent to you.”
“This is bullshit, sir, and you know it,” I said as I was leaving.
I couldn’t believe that I had just said bullshit to the dean. It took resolve not to flip off the rotund secretary on the way out. I scraped the bottom of my bag in search of my phone; when I found it, I still had no messages from Ryder. There wasn’t even a reassuring text. I dialed Ryder.
“It’s me again. I just faced the gauntlet. It wasn’t pretty, and I’m suspended, so I imagine you were treated similarly. I’ll be heading back to Lewis Ave. I will be waiting for your call.”
I walked back to Leach Hall to fill up my suitcases; I felt like I had just unpacked them. I took a second to survey the room then walked out and then threw the suitcases in my car. I would call Kelly on the ride back. With my tail between my legs, I headed home.
Chapter Two
I was desperate for some advice. I needed help and Ryder was pulling some type of disappearing act. Where did I always turn? I dialed Sayler.
“Hey, I remember you. You are my best friend who only calls me in a state-of-emergency. What’s up, Jenna? The doctor is in,” Sayler answered.
“I’m heading back into town, Sayler.”
“It’s Monday. What’s up with that?”
“I have been suspended. I think they call it a self-fulfilling prophecy. I’m not going to throw a fit. I really need to hang out tomorrow, if you have the time. I will come over at about 11 AM. Will you be there?”
“I will have to check my appointment calendar and get back to you, Jenna.”
“Oh,” I muttered.
“God, Jenna – I’m fucking kidding. Of course, I will be here. Bring some coffee and tread lightly, because Juliet will probably be sleeping.
I pulled on to Lewis Ave. Of course, I looked to Ryder’s house first. The lights were out and the blinds drawn. I pulled up alongside my mother’s house and paused. I picked up my phone and dialed Ryder again. I was thinking he would hear my car and feel I was nearby. I was waiting for some movement of the blinds. I thought back to the time when I thought Ryder was my mother’s mystery man and I camped out on my front porch to sneak a peek. I felt like a stalker then, now I had confirmation. I sat in my car for a moment. I was embarrassed to enter my mother’s home. Things had turned sour in my life very quickly. Finally, I departed my car.
The ten steps to the front door felt more like one-hundred.
I found my mother and Claude Simmons sitting in the kitchen nook when I walked in.
“Hey, Mom. Mr. Simmons.”
I stood before them with my plum duffle bag, which was hefty.
“Hi, Jenna,” my mom said.
She looked stunned to see me.
“I know this is unexpected. This is the only place I could come—home.”
Tears gathered in the corners of my eyes and slowly flowed down my cheeks. I remained standing in my mother’s kitchen, when she gave me something, I didn’t know I needed. She stood up and gave me a long motherly hug. It was the type of all-encompassing embrace that only a mother could give.
“Come sit down and tell us all about it. Claude, get us two cups of coffee and be a dear and get fresh sheets on Jenna’s bed,” my mother ordered in a wife-ish sort of way.
I laughed.
“Well, I see you’re getting Mr. Simmons broken in.”
“Oh, he’s learning quickly. There isn’t much that I ask that he won’t do. I spent years taking care of your father. It’s nice for a change.”
“Mom, I was suspended. You were right and it probably pleases you.”
“Jenna. Nothing could be further from the truth. I didn’t want you to go down this road, but you did. My own mother advised me not to marry your father, but I did. And guess what? She and my dad were still at the wedding and we had three great kids. Where affairs of the heart are concerned, it’s a personal choice.”
“Yeah, but suspension from school. Graduating from college was my dream. I fucked everything up.”
My mother sipped her coffee.
“I’m going to leave the two of you alone and I will take Potato for a walk. Should I have the dog shit on Curran’s lawn?” Claude asked.
“No, Claude.” I laughed. “I’m not at that stage yet. I will keep you posted.”
Claude put a leash on the dog and disappeared.
“Now, Jenna, fill me in. Have you called Sayler yet?”
“Yeah, I’m going to her house tomorrow.”
/>
“Good. After you’re finished feeling sorry for yourself, we will begin making this thing better. We will get you back in school sweetheart. I will challenge that dean of yours. He has never met Marnie Walsh.”
“I will let you know if I need your assistance. I’m not sure the guy is ready for the likes of you.”
I recounted my tale to my mother. I left out many of the spicy details. They were for Sayler’s ears only. We laughed and cried a little. As I sipped my enhanced coffee and spoke to my mom, I looked to Ryder’s windows. I was desperate for any signs of movement. I started to worry about his health. If he had suffered a setback in his cancer treatment, everything else would’ve been mute. My mind started going to very dark places.
I went to bed that night and had very real dreams. I was relieved when morning came to and realized they had not come true—yet. I pictured myself at Ryder’s funeral. Everyone was there – Sammy, Sally, his golfing buddies, Riko from the club, and because it was a dream, Arnold Palmer showed up. I was in the dream too, decked out in yellow. I didn’t know where to stand or if I was there as his lover, student, or golf protégé. No one talked to me and they blamed me for Ryder’s death. He had no job and no insurance when he died, thanks to me.
The morning brought relief and I called Ryder once more before I took off to Sayler’s house. I was sent to voicemail.
“Ryder. It’s me again. I’m right next door at my mother’s house. I need to see you. This avoidance thing is ridiculous. I will be gone for most of the day with Sayler. Are you okay?”
I hung up the phone and showered to go to Sayler’s.
****
I stopped to pick up coffees along the way at the Coffee Shack. It was my old routine. It didn’t feel good, as I should have been moving forward not back.
“Hey, Jenna. Haven’t seen you in a long time. What brings you back to our region? I thought you were a big time college girl now.” Rems smiled.
“I never forgot where I came from, Rems. I’m taking a little break. I will have two grande coffees.”
“Tell Sayler I said hello. I assume that’s where you’re heading. I miss her. I have been busy opening up a second location, so I don’t get out much. These are on the house again, and I hope your break goes well.”
“Thanks a ton, Rems. Congrats on the new location,” I said as I sped away.
I cringed. I felt like a huge failure. Even Rembrandt from The Coffee Shack was progressing in life, while mine has turned to a pile of shit.
I pulled up to Sayler’s house and tiptoed in the side entrance. Her mother was likely still sleeping and I would probably find Sayler snoozing as well.
I surprised when I walked into her room and she was awake. “Hey, Sayler. You are awake and you have cleaned this shit hole. What is the deal with you? Don’t tell me you have gone and grown up on me.”
“Not really. I’m working in the administrative office at the community college. It’s not really my thing, but it’s helping to pay for some classes. I’m doing what I can…but we’re not here to talk about me. Fill me in on the Ryder Curran mess. You were in heaven with the guy a couple of weeks ago. I thought you two were taking steps forward as a couple while managing to keep it on the down low. You got the Sammy thing cleared up and from the intimate details you shared, the love train was moving smoothly down the tracks.”
“Well, Sayler, the train ran off the tracks. It crashed and it was sold as scrap metal. Ryder and I were having a blissful date of putt-putt golf…and we kissed. It isn’t as though we were fornicating on the course. But, apparently, someone saw us and reported us to the dean. They threw the book at me, Sayler. They suspended me and might expel me, depending on the results of the investigation.”
“Wow, bad. What about Rydery-pooh. Did they can his ass?” Sayler asked.
“That is where it goes from bad to worse. I have no idea how this effected Ryder. I do know he’s not teaching human sexuality, though. I assume he was given a suspension. I have tried to reach him, but he’s gone underground.”
“More Ryder drama. Remember what happened last time? You made assumptions and everything worked out after you spoke with him. Just knock on his fucking door. You can beat this thing together more so than if you’re apart.”
“When did you get so smart?” I playfully knocked Sayler on the head.
“I’m hoping to surprise everyone someday—you just wait. My big question is, who the hell narcs on someone for kissing a guy? Must be someone who’s jealous. Can you think of anyone? Maybe we can ask Max!” Her voice was thick with sarcasm.
“Not in a million years, Sayler. I know we have a past, and a recent past at that, but in the end, we’re good friends. Max can be a little inappropriate and juvenile, but I love the guy. He is also growing up. He got into it with the wrong girl at school and it scared him. Ryder is very handsome and the freshman girls in class love him. He’s dynamic, engaging and he knows everything there is to know about sex. I haven’t given it much thought because I’m most afraid of losing my future and Ryder being disgraced in his field…shit Sayler. I’m concerned about me and Ryder.”
“You have to go to Ryder. He is probably as afraid as you are, Jenna. He just has a different way of dealing things.” Sayler paused and gave me the once-over. “One bit of advice: you should change your clothes before you go knocking on his door. I just don’t think a South Carolina sweatshirt is appropriate. Wear something fun and flirty.”
“Thanks, Sayler. When all this gets resolved, I want you to meet Ryder,” I said.
“I feel like I know him already. Does he know that BFF’s share everything? I feel sorry for men. I don’t think they share as much with their friends.”
“I don’t think they’re aware…They are men after all.”
We both laughed. As usual, Sayler provided me with help only she could deliver. I was headed back to Lewis Ave. where I would get spruced up before going to Ryder’s house. I called Ryder one more time and had no success.
Chapter Three
I walked into my house after noticing Ryder’s Lexus in his driveway. Perfect, he was home. I showered and tried to spy on his bedroom, but he had the blinds closed.
My conversations with Sayler and my mother had helped. Kelly was correct when she said I had support—even she had been helpful. In my brief time with Kelly, she had transformed from a roommate into a friend.
It was early December by this time, but it was South Carolina, so it was balmy. I put on a blue flirty dress with a yellow cardigan. The dress was innocent with the cardigan and revealing without it.
I flitted down the stairway.
“Where are you headed, Jenna?” my mother asked.
My mother was sitting on Claude’s lap. I had definitely walked in on something that was none of my business.
“I have nothing to lose Mom. I’m heading to Ryder’s. I have already been kicked out of school, so I’m getting good at rejection. YOLO, as Max would say. Don’t wait up.” I winked.
“We won’t be up for long,” my mom said.
“WE? Ick. I don’t like thinking of my mother in that way,” I shouted.
I couldn’t find shoes to match my outfit. The ones that I had in mind were buried in my luggage, which I had hastily packed without any sense of order. I walked next door in my bare feet.
I stepped up to Ryder’s door. His doorknocker was shaped like a golf club. I bashed it against his door hard. I heard footsteps, but he did not answer. I banged a second time, and a third. I knew he was behind the door.
I called out, “Ryder! It’s me, but I’m sure you knew that. I’m not leaving here until you answer the door. This is a problem for both of us. I’m going to have Potato shit all over your front lawn. He had table scraps for dinner and it—”
Ryder opened the door. “Don’t have the dog shit in my yard or I will have you arrested.”
Ryder was wearing his old ripped jeans and he had on no shirt. I had never seen him with stubble before. He was wearing about
three day’s growth and he looked hot. Beyond his amazing body and stunning face was something I had never seen, Ryder’s frown. His green eyes were not vacillating between moss green and hazel. All I could see were his beady pupils staring at me.
“I have been calling you for two days. I was so concerned. You have some explaining to do,” I said.
It wasn’t my intended first line. I wanted to jump in his arms and reassure him that everything would be okay. I wanted him to reassure me. I could tell from his body language that wasn’t going to happen.
“Now that you’re in you may as well have a seat,” Ryder snarled.
I was standing in front of a man I didn’t know. When he was lecturing on a mundane topic, he had never appeared as disengaged as he was now. There was no trace of emotion or animation in the man before me.
“You rearranged the furniture. You changed around the rooms. The dining room and living room have flipped. I’m anxious to see what else you did.” I tried to keep my voice light and playful.
“I had some time on my hands. I changed the sleeping arrangements. Sammy deserves the larger room so I swapped it with my own,” he said.
“I guess I won’t be able to watch you sleep.” I laughed.
My attempt at humor sank like an anchor.
“Yeah. That is a little creepy.”
“I didn’t come here to discuss your house. You know by now that we have an enormous problem to deal with.”
“I know, Jenna. Whatever we had turned into a huge pile of shit. Our problems have to be handled separately, because they’re very different. I’m out of a goddamn job. I have a mortgage, child support, and health insurance to consider. You are on easy street. You are a childless student with a mom to pick you up when you fall. They will conduct a full investigation and find out we had more than a golf-instructor-slash-student relationship. I have heard of men getting into trouble by following their dick and I cannot believe I fell into that fucking trap myself,” Ryder said. He grabbed a Hilton Head sweatshirt and threw it on.
I didn’t know where to start.
