by Joey Bush
“Whatever we had?” My voice was raised. “We did not merely share a night in the sack. We laid it on the line to be with one another. Don’t fucking patronize me, Ryder, as if I’m a clueless schoolgirl without a care in the world. My mother is just scraping by herself. College was my ticket out of a life teetering on the poverty line. I have loans to pay for college, which come due when I’m thrown out. I’m not going to be in a financial position to go to another school, but that won’t be an issue. No college will accept me after my suspension. You can sell some of your fancy gadgets and get a few extra bucks.” I stopped to take a breath.
“Electronics don’t have much resale value. Everyone wants the latest and greatest technology.”
I was pacing. I got confused about the new furniture layout. I thought I was going to hit a couch and I ended up crashing to the floor. Ryder extended his hand to lift me from the ground. The feel of his skin on mine was electric and I knew he felt it too. He quickly pulled back once he had me safe on my feet. It was as though his hand had touched a hot iron.
“Thanks.”
Ryder nodded his head.
“So, do we stick with the golf instructor tale? We have to get our stories straight. I don’t know why, but Dean Meadows wants to take us down. He seems to think that having us kicked out will be a slam dunk.”
“I don’t mean to patronize you, but you have no idea about university politics. People like Meadows don’t like men like me. He worked hard for his position and he assumes I took some sort of short cut. I work my ass off. I happen to come across as laid back and he sees me as a lazy, good-looking guy,” Ryder said.
“It sounds as if you’re just giving up.” I felt deflated. “Wow, I guess I thought we meant more to each other.”
“I let my priorities get mixed up. I slacked on things in life that matter like work, my golf game and Sammy.”
“I’m not letting you get away with that, Ryder. If anything, I helped with each one of those things. I was an excuse to get you on the golf course and you worked on your game. I made work a thing you looked forward to. Our secret flirtation during class was fun and harmless. As far as your son goes, Sammy had a great time with us last weekend and I think he accepted me well. It was a little odd with Sally, but understandable. You were more disturbed by her than I was.”
“Yeah, but have you forgotten that, during all of this, I have been battling cancer. It weighs on my mind now and again.”
“Ryder, I think about your health every day. I don’t bring it up because you like to keep that portion of your life a secret. You kept it from me for a long time.”
“I did, until you decided to snoop around my bathroom and read the labels on my pill bottles.”
Ryder was lashing out. His guns were blazing and I was his target. I would have to suspend my sensitivity and let him rant. Some people reacted that way when they were scared. I folded my hands and placed them in my lap. I prepared for his continued barrage.
“I’m not trying to hurt you Jenna and while we’re on the subject of cancer, I had a scan and some blood work done several days ago. I have an appointment next week with my oncologist. It is my 6-month look-see. If all goes well, I’m out of South Carolina. I’m going to sell this place and move to North Carolina.”
“What about Sammy?” I asked.
“I will remain close enough to see him every-other weekend. It won’t change things much.”
I hesitated but I opened my mouth. “What about us?”
“I’m moving to another state, not another planet. I will come back to Pelican Island on occasion. It isn’t as though we’re never going to see one another. I think we need some time to get both of our lives on track. You and I gave this thing a try, and look where we ended up. We are up the creek in a kayak without a paddle.”
“Well, we were caught in a storm in one and we made it out together—remember?”
“Of course, I remember. Those were good times. Don’t get all sentimental on me.” Ryder looked at me, as if I was a pathetic child.
“Oh my god. You are being an asshole! We have been acting as a couple. I did not make up the intimacy we shared.”
I stood up and got ready to storm out. I would’ve been upset, but I was too mad to let in those feelings. I looked down and remembered that I had no shoes on.
“If your feet are cold Jenna, I can give you a pair of socks.” Ryder looked down.
“No. I’m footloose and fancy-free—remember? Just tell me if you’re breaking up with me?”
Ryder started to laugh.
“I haven’t had a girl ask me that since I was a kid. Oh, sorry, you’re a kid.”
“Fuck you, Ryder. I guess I will play the goddamn golf tournament without you this weekend. Have a nice life.”
We had signed up for a golf tournament together. I couldn’t believe I was going to play the stupid sport without him.
I pounded my feet as I walked out of Ryder’s house. It was presumably the last time I would be in the place. I slammed the door on the way out, which made Potato howl next door.
Chapter Four
I slept well, as my run in with Ryder proved exhausting. I felt that I stood up well to his ridiculous behavior. Hopefully, he would sleep on his decision to move without putting up some sort of fight. Moving would cost a ton of money, which he would be short on with no job. If he followed through with trying to salvage his reputation, he had the chance of getting a severance package from the university.
I looked at the clubs propped up against my wall. I intended to play the tournament at Magnolia with or without Ryder. The entry fee was already paid. First, I needed breakfast, I was sure my mother and Claude would be anxious to hear about my evening. I risked hearing about their night, but I decided to take my chances.
****
“Good morning, guys. Can I join you for breakfast, or is this a private party?” I asked.
I was wearing my South Carolina sweats, showing I had not given up the fight.
“Don’t be silly. Grab a cup of coffee. Better yet, grab a seat and let Claude grab you some.”
Claude raced to the coffee maker faster than a waitress in a crowded diner. My mom had trained him well.
“I’m glad I have a chance to talk with you, Jenna. I got a call from the dean’s office today,”
“What did they want? Were they checking to make sure I wasn’t hanging in my closet?” I laughed.
“Don’t be so dark, Jesus. We have a meeting tomorrow at the dean’s office. It will be just you, the dean, and me. I said we would be there, of course. Does it fit into your schedule?” my mother asked.
“I guess, but my only request is that you don’t dress like a hoochie mama.”
“Hoochie mama? Is that how you see me?” She threw her hand up on her hip.
“I’m only asking that you dress conservatively,” I said. “Help me out here, Claude.”
I had stirred the pot in the Walsh household.
“You always look lovely sweetheart. Your daughter only asks that you make an extra effort to tone things down a little. I know that you recently bought some new clothes to compliment your new figure. Save the hoochie outfits for me.”
I wanted to puke hearing his sweet talk, but Claude’s comments were perfect to get her to dress like I wanted. I excused myself before I said anything else offensive. I ran up to my room and changed into a khaki skort and a black polo with neon pink accents. I grabbed my Callaway golf clubs and headed to Pelican Island.
****
The parking lot at Magnolia Country club was full. I had signed up for the best ball tournament with Ryder. I was hoping a last minute change was acceptable because I was flying solo. Before I hopped out of my car, I took a glance at my phone. I was still mad at Ryder but I found it difficult to believe that it was over. He still hadn’t called.
I walked into the club foyer, which was painful, because it reminded me of Ryder.
“Hey, I’m Jenna Walsh. I signed up to play best ball with
Ryder Curran. He won’t be joining me, so is there a spot available in shot play?”
There was something wrong or perhaps obscene about mentioning Ryder and best ball in the same sentence.
“I have an opening in a foursome. Do you have a handicap, Jenna?” the woman asked.
“Not really. It’s high—really high. I’m a beginner, but I know the rules of the game.”
“You will fit in this group just fine. We like to have a mix of skill levels and they need someone like you. You will need to head out right now. You foursome tees off in about fifteen minutes. You will know them as the three ladies waiting by the cart who are looking for a fourth.”
“Great and thanks.”
I lugged my golf bag out to the cart. I was paired with three ladies who seemed to be triple my age. I imagined that each of them had spent quite a bit of time on the links as they had leathered skin. Playing in the tournament with three strangers wasn’t what I had envisioned when I signed up with Ryder. But I had no exams to worry about—nothing else to do. Therefore, I decided to make the best of it. One of the women noticed me and waved me down.
“Hi, I’m Jenna.” I suddenly felt very young.
“We found our stray, girls. I’m Fran. These gals are Nora and Liesel. We hope you will bring us some good luck”
“I’m afraid I’m just a beginner. I was supposed to be playing with my golf instructor. He was unable to attend, so I figured I’d play anyways.”
“It isn’t the first time a golf instructor has stood up a student. We will show you a good time. You have an awful lot of experience in this foursome, if you know what I mean.” Nora winked.
Great! They were like my mother.
It turned out they did have a lot of experience. Nora had been married forty years and her husband had just retired. He was driving her nuts. Liesel was a widow and she was struggling to date a seventy-five year old. Fran was happily married to a recovering alcoholic. They cared little about golf. They used the time to chat, which I did as well. I was doing superb. I wasn’t ready for the LPGA, but my score was respectable. Ryder would’ve been very proud. As much as the others kept me occupied, I couldn’t stop thinking about him.
“I don’t know who your golf instructor is, but he should know what an excellent student you are. That ball sailed perfectly out of the bunker,” Fran commented.
“Yeah. Ryder would be pleased.”
“Don’t tell me that your golf instructor is Ryder Curran. We all love Ryder. He keeps his eye out for us ladies. He never complains about our slow play and he’s always ready with a compliment. I heard he was doing some private lessons. He’s young, very nice, and eh em—hot. Don’t blush. I may be an old married lady, but I’m not dead yet. He must be about your age, perhaps a year or two older.”
“He is actually quite a bit older, he just looks young,” I said softly.
“I see. I can tell by the look on you face that there is more to the story, Jenna. You don’t have to share. We all have a story and it’s everyone right to keep theirs private.”
“No. You three ladies have never been stupid enough to get in a predicament like mine.”
“I can only speak for myself, but you would be surprised,” Fran said.
“Well…I love him, but we don’t stand a chance,” I said. I knew I shouldn’t have opened my mouth. I was expecting a lecture from her.
“I have been married to Max since I was twenty-two and things went according to plan for the first couple of years. His job was great and we had two lovely children. We even bought our dream house. We never had a fight and everyone considered us the perfect couple. Then tragedy struck. Our daughter got sick and died of cancer. Max went into a depression and he started to drink. It took us a long time and numerous public embarrassments before we turned it around. I love Max more now than the day I married him. We are much stronger as a couple. I’m sure that you have heard this before, that it’s how a pair deals with the bad times instead of the good that shapes them. It was easy to be happy when we had no obstacles before us. When Max and I were tested, we proved our strength. You can learn from my story or consider it just the musings of an old woman, but I wish you luck, Jenna. If you see Ryder, and I know you will, tell him Fran from the Fearsome Foursome said hello.”
“Will do.”
We received a ribbon after the tournament. Everyone got one, but I was proud of my accomplishment. Before heading home, I decided to grab an iced tea at the clubhouse.
“Hey Riko. I’ll have an iced tea,” I said as I walked in. I took a seat at the bar.
Riko smiled at someone behind me. I turned my stool around to find a clean-shaven smiling Ryder.
“Make it two iced teas, Riko. We will take a seat over by the window. You can send it over there if this lady will agree to join me.”
“Is that an invitation? If it is, then you should be ready to start apologizing.”
I followed Ryder to his favorite table. He was wearing a pair of cream-colored pants and a muted yellow button down. He looked a hell of a lot better than the last time I saw him. Although I had to rethink that, because at one point he had been shirtless.
“Me apologize? You threated to let your hound shit on my lawn,” Ryder joked. “I acted like an ass Jenna…I cringe when I think about some of the things I said. Of course, I care about your future.”
“You can’t talk to me that way ever again Ryder. Words are abusive. My ears were ringing – you may well have knocked me up the side of the head.”
“I would cut off my own hand before I would raise it to your beautiful face. I really just wanted to carry you to my bedroom last night.”
“Your new room?” I asked.
“Oh, I lied about that. I was reaching for anything that may have been hurtful. I did think it was hysterical when you fell on your ass though. Those were some nice panties.” Ryder smiled.
“Really funny…But are you really selling your house and leaving town?” I asked.
“I’m taking things one step at a time, Jenna. I want to hear what the doctor has to say before I make any decisions and I will definitely consider you when making those plans.”
“Then it makes sense if I go to the doctor with you.”
“No, Jenna. It’s something I have to do by myself.”
“That makes no sense, but whatever, I will respect your decision. It’s getting dark, Ryder. Can I ask you as my golf instructor to walk me to my car?”
“I suppose I can do that. Nice ribbon by the way.” Ryder smiled.
As we were walking out, I noticed Fran and the other women. Ryder gave them a smile and I winked and Fran gave me thumbs up.
“So, Ryder, it looks like we’re continuing the sham that we’re golf-instructor-slash-student. Is that the story you’re going to tell the dean? I’m meeting with him with my mother tomorrow.”
“Yes. If all they saw was a kiss at putt-putt then we could explain that as an overly jubilant celebration. I would worry about our night in my office if I was in an updated building, but the Canooth Building has no key card system and it’s not on the university camera network.”
“I think that Meadows would have a heart attack if he ever had a camera on us that night.”
Ryder threw his arm around my shoulders when we were safely in the parking lot. “Yes he would.”
It was dark and nearly empty, as most of the tournament participants had departed. His hand slipped down the arch of my back before being firmly planted on my ass.
“I missed you, Ryder. I missed this,” I said.
“Me too,” he said as we arrived at my Sol.
Ryder pushed me against the cold metal. He kissed me passionately and pressed up me hard against the door.
“When is the last time you did it in the backseat of a car?” Ryder said against my lips.
He grew hard and his body pulsed.
“I haven’t had a lot of sexual partners, but I have always managed to find a bed. But I have a busy day tomorrow. We’ll ha
ve the car and many other places to explore in the future. I will leave you pondering where those places might be.”
I had to peel him away from me. We stood at arm’s length with hands clasped.
“I can’t believe you’re turning me down. If this is payment for my horrible behavior last night, I will never raise my voice to you again.”
“I’m not punishing you. I don’t have the evil heart to do shit like that. We’ll make up for it—we’re going to explode in each other’s arms sometime soon…” I let the idea hang in the air.
“Fine, I’ll let you go. I don’t want to, but I will. Be sure to drive safely.”
“I always do. I’ll give you a jingle tomorrow when I’m finished with Mean Dean.”
I kissed Ryder goodbye. My prize ribbon sat on the passenger seat next to my phone, which blinked constantly with messages from Ryder.
Chapter Five
Sleeping again in my childhood room was odd. I felt like an adult in some respects and a little girl in others. The cadence of my mother sleeping in the next room was soothing, except when Claude was around. In those cases, I inserted my ear buds. I was even a little comforted by the sounds made by Potato. The familiarity made me feel safe. On the other hand, there was Ryder next door, and with him, I felt every bit an adult. I wasn’t really a college student since I had been suspended. It made me feel confused and scared and banished me into some sort of limbo.
I put the pillow over my head hoping to sneak in a few minutes of extra sleep, but the doorbell shattered my peace. I didn’t feel like a grown-up or a kid—I felt pissed off. Who was fucking stopping by at 8 AM? It seemed Claude had come in handy, as he answered the door. Unable to fall back to sleep and curious, I padded down the steps in my t-shirt and a pair of boxer briefs.
“What’s up, Claude?”
“It was a delivery sort of,” Claude answered.
“What is a delivery sort of?” I asked.
“The bell rang and when I answered it, there wasn’t a person in sight. But someone left behind this stuff for you and your mom. Oh jeez—does your mother have a secret admirer?”
