by Joey Bush
I discovered sitting on the table in the entryway two lovely flower arrangements. My mom shot down the stairs when she heard my gasp.
“What are these? Claude. You sly fox. I didn’t know you were the romantic type,” my mom said.
“I’m not.”
I opened up the card addressed to me.
Good Luck!
Love,
Ryder
My bouquet of stargazer lilies and pink roses smelled divine. My day was made and I was still in my pajamas. My mother rushed to her arrangement, which was more like a plant but just as lovely. It was a lucky jade surrounded by delicate yellow flowers.
Show the dean what the Walsh women are made of!
Go Get Em,
Ryder Curran
“I officially approve of my next door neighbor, professor, golf instructor or whatever the hell he is. Claude, you can learn a thing or two from Ryder.”
I laughed. I was on cloud nine.
I dialed Ryder.
“You got the flowers,” Ryder answered.
“Yep and they’re beautiful. My mother loves hers as well. Thank you, and it was great that you remembered her.”
“No problem. You deserve flowers every day.”
“Sounds good to me. Get on it, Ryder.”
“Right. Remember that I’m unemployed at the moment. Shoved in amongst the flowers is my lucky divot replacer tool. I picked it up at Augusta when I thought I was gonna die. It carried me through a lot of bull-shit.”
“I got it. I will keep it in my shoe for good luck. Have you changed your mind about allowing me to go to the doctor with you?” I was hopeful.
“No. This is a solo mission, but I appreciate it. I know you aren’t exactly a church goer, but if you’re feeling godly, put in a good word for me.”
“Yeah, I will have a long discussion with the man upstairs. Do you think he’s aware of our antics? It must be against some of his rules.”
He chuckled. “Go eat breakfast, Jenna. We will talk about god another time.”
“I’ll call ya.”
****
My mother and I prepared for our meeting with Dean Meadows while Claude made us a breakfast. He made us some omelets with Egg Beaters that my mother had on hand. He filled them with frozen vegetables and some cheese. I wasn’t sure if the cheese was moldy in spots or if it was green onion. Potato ate most of my breakfast, as he tended to do.
When we were done, my mother ran up-stairs to change as Claude and I waited with crossed fingers, hoping that she would be presentable.
“I’m on my way down and I’m dressed to impress. Close your eyes and prepare yourselves,” my mother called out from her bedroom.
I heard my mom coming down the stairs. She wasn’t in tennis shoes or slippers, which was the first clue that something was different. I smelled my mother before she reached the bottom of the stairs. Her perfume was strong but pleasant. I could sense that Claude was nervous by the way he was tapping his shoe to the rhythm of Potato’s panting, which was fast.
“Ta da! Do you approve? Say no and I’ll smack ya.” I turned around and was stunned.
My mother looked amazing. If she was going for shock and awe, she nailed it. Her cornflower blue suit with black trim was chic and conservative. She finished her look with nude pumps, carried a black clutch, and a string of pearls hung from her neck.
“Mom, throw on a pill box hat and you look like Jackie O. How the hell did you pull off that look? How did you afford it?”
She was wearing her hair down with a black band keeping it out of her eyes. Her unfortunate, orangey lipstick was replaced with a dusky rose. She had a clear coat on her nails, which replaced the tacky shade she usually wore. Claude didn’t say a word. His foot stopped moving and even Potato noticed her.
“I finally got around to cleaning out my closet. Of the bags of crap I had, the consignment store took a handful. The women at the shop treated me as a project. They became my stylists. When I went in yesterday to tell them I had a meeting with the dean, they came up with this. The suit is used, but it’s real Chanel.”
“Not used; repurposed. It’s the thing to do these days. I will leave you and Claude to whisper sweet nothings to one another. I’m going to get myself changed.”
I chose to look like a woman off the Gap website. I went for a nautical look even though it was out of season. I wore a navy maxi skirt and a navy and white boat neck sweater with three-quarter length sleeves. I threw on a string of pearls to accent it. I looked in the mirror—horrible, but perfectly appropriate.
I was ready to go downstairs, but I made one last stop in the bathroom. I walked to the window and knocked hard, hoping that he would hear me. Next door, I could see a sleeping Ryder. I knocked again. There was no response, so I took off my navy pump and tapped the glass—well, it was more than a tap because the glass shattered everywhere. I woke Ryder up. I read his lips as he jumped out of bed.
“What the fuck!” Ryder mouthed as he gestured with his arms.
My mother ran up the stairs in her Chanel suit with Claude closely behind her. My arm was cut and the blood dripping onto the floor. Potato was barking and Ryder suddenly was in the bathroom too.
“Are you okay Jenna? Should I call 911?” Ryder asked with clear concern in his voice.
“Oh my god. I don’t want to get blood on my suit. Claude get some towels. Quick.”
“Everybody relax. I’m fine. The cut isn’t deep. I don’t think I even have to change my sweater. God, I feel like a complete fool. Mom, I don’t think you have formally met our neighbor. This is Ryder.”
Ryder was standing in my mother’s blood stained bathroom in his boxers and his shirt inside out.
“I’m glad to finally meet you Marnie. Jenna has told me wonderful things about you.” Ryder reached out and shook my mother’s hand.
I was exhausted already, and my day had not really begun. It was the first time Ryder had been in my home. It wasn’t as I imagined, but we all managed to have a laugh.
My mother and I left for our meeting, leaving Claude and Ryder to repair the window and sweep up the glass.
We drove my mother’s sedan to campus. We had quite a bit of drama already for one day. There was little that the dean could say that we couldn’t handle.
****
“Fancy furniture they have in here,” my mother whispered
“I know. Only the best for the dean’s office,” I said.
“You must be from the Walsh family.” The same secretary was at the desk.
“Yes, I’m Jenna, as you remember, and this is my mother, Marnie Walsh. I have been here before.” I stared the woman right in her puffy eyes.
“I will let Dean Meadows know you’re here.” The woman waddled to his door.
I don’t know if it was my crazy morning, the fact that I had company this time, or my reconciliation with Ryder, but I felt that I was on my game. Dean Meadows opened his door and nodded in our direction indicating that he was free to see us. He was wearing the only suit in which I had ever seen him. It was gray and ill fitting.
I walked into his office, making a conscious effort to walk as normal as possible despite the divot replacer in my shoe for luck. I was sporting a large gauze patch on my forearm. My mom looked great in her Chanel suit.
We took our seats in the stately leather chairs.
“Mrs. Walsh. I’m sure your daughter has explained the reason behind her suspension and we had the opportunity to discuss it over the phone. Do you have any questions? We always want to consult a parent or guardian when a situation as this occurs.”
“Yes, Dean Meadows. I’m aware that my daughter was seen celebrating with her golf instructor at the putt-putt facility. I have to be honest; I had a great laugh over the situation. You said you’re in the process of conducting an investigation. I would like to know how you investigate. The way an instructor and student celebrate varies, and it’s subjective. My daughter is passionate about golf. She’s dedicated and I can imagine a ce
lebration was warranted.”
“Mrs. Walsh. We have had several students—err, people, come forward. We have reason to believe that the relationship between Jenna and Professor Curran has crossed the line.”
“Define this fuzzy line,” my mom asked.
“I explained to Jenna, how the kiss in question was seen as inappropriate.”
“Please lay it out for me. We are all adults,” my mother said.
She cradled her head in her chin. She placed her elbow on the Dean’s desk and stared directly at him. He was flustered.
“Ah, em. It was said that Professor Curran slipped his tongue into Ms. Walsh’s mouth. Another witness claimed he placed his hand on her bottom.”
My mother laughed. I knew I was in trouble.
“Are you telling me that he gave her a pat on the butt and for that reason you’re disrupting two innocent lives? How many of your football players celebrate the same way? It would seem to me that your decision is rather discriminatory—if it weren’t, the entire football team would surely be suspended with my daughter.” My mother was running at full steam. “I can’t believe this is the biggest issue your university is facing right now—a golf instructor celebrating with his student. I’m sure you have some predators affiliated with this university.” She tilted her head and gave the dean a meaningful look. “Maybe someone quite close. Do you have a skeleton in your closet Dean Meadows? Ah, probably not. You don’t look like the type.”
I felt like I was gonna puke. My mother was on a roll and there was no stopping her. I wondered if Claude had made her coffee Irish. Dean Meadow’s began turning an odd, putty color.
“Mrs. Walsh, I’m here to inform you today that this issue has been brought to the attention of the disciplinary board. Jenna will continue to be under suspension. She’ll have to make up any work missed until a decision is met. I suggest she make good use of her time while away from class.”
“What about the professor?” my mother asked.
“The two cases will be handled separately,” the dean said.
My mom was determined to get in the last word. I braced for the worst as I curled my toes in anticipation of what would come out of her mouth next.
“I don’t see the taxpayers liking how you’re spending their money. This is a state run establishment, correct? My boyfriend works for the local paper and this is just the sort of thing he likes writing about—a university wasting money investigating a young woman for engaging in the same activities your male athletes engage in all the time. I did not want to be forced to do this, but I will be contacting my attorney.”
My mother walked out of the office and I followed like a duckling. Before we departed, the secretary informed me that I could return the next day to get the rest of my things. We soon arrived at the parking lot.
“Mom. Please tell me you aren’t drunk. Boyfriend? Claude writes for the paper? Do you have an attorney? Oh god. I’m going to be expelled.”
“I’m not drunk. Just a little feisty. Claude brings out the animal in me.” My mother smiled.
“Just drive home. I don’t want to hear any more about you and Claude.”
I looked at my phone to see Ryder was calling.
I answered and instantly asked, “Hey do you know anyone working down at the burger joint? Cause I don’t stand a chance being reinstated.”
“Tough day? Tomorrow is my challenging day. I will call you after I go to the doctor. I’m a little stressed, otherwise I would invite you over,” Ryder said. You can fill me on your meeting with Mean Dean tomorrow, okay? Jenna?”
“Yes?”
“No more smashing windows to get my attention. Just give me a call.”
“Noted. Sleep well.”
“Not likely without you...”
Chapter Six
I was determined to sleep through the night. I was already officially suspended, so I couldn’t do much until I heard back from Dean Meadows and Ryder was unavailable as he was going to his doctor’s appointment.
I wasn’t meeting Max at Leach Hall until 10 AM. There was a great deal going on in my life, but nothing I could do about any of it. It was the calm before the storm. Unsure whether it would be a gentle rain or a destructive hurricane, I closed my eyes and debated if I should grab my umbrella or board up the windows.
My decision to sleep in was overridden by the blare of my alarm. I had it set for an early morning class, back when I still had one to go to. It was set to Pharrell’s Happy. I must have set it to that song on a good day. Perhaps it was the day after I had sex with Ryder.
I decided to call Sayler and give her an update.
“Morning,” Sayler said.
‘What’s up?”
“I’m getting dressed for work, Jenna. Is everything okay?”
“Yeah. I just wanted to give you an update on what’s happening in my life,” I said.
“My day is full, but I have an hour before I have to be in the office. I will meet you for a quick breakfast at the Bay Leaf.”
“I will be there in fifteen,” I said.
“See you there.”
Sayler sounded business-like. I felt a slight sting knowing that everyone was moving on in life. I threw on jeans and a casual sweatshirt. I called Ryder before I left to meet Sayler, but he did not answer. I assumed he went for a run and was feeling similar to the way I did. We were both waiting for the other shoe to drop.
****
I waited for Sayler at the Bay Leaf, a restaurant that proscribed to the farm to table theory. I knew it was a way of eating that I should have been doing for my own health, but pizza and ice cream were my favorites. If I continued to eat emotionally, I would be obese.
Sayler arrived and I hoped she could talk me through the maze-like menu.
“You clean up nice, Sayler,” I said as I greeted my BFF.
Sayler was wearing a black skirt and an emerald green twin-set. Her hair was coifed perfectly.
“Yeah, we have a staff meeting today and my department is making a presentation. I don’t usually try this hard but it makes me feel good.”
“I’m sorry, Sayler. I have never asked much about your job or school. My life has been Ryder centric.”
“I understand. My life is mundane in comparison to yours with lover boy. Give me the 411.”
“How about we first order some grub? I don’t see a five dollar blue plate special. What do you suggest?”
“The local shrimp and grits are amazing. Or the Wadmalaw onion and spinach omelet is good. They make their own seven grain bread here—yum.”
“Hmmm.”
The server came to our table.
“I will have the onion and spinach omelet with an order of Applewood smoked bacon. I’ll have coffee, too, please. Black and keep it coming.”
“I will have an egg white scramble with John’s Island tomatoes and I will have a raspberry green tea,” Sayler ordered.
“Did I miss something? Where are the fat and calories?”
“It’s my new thing. Rem’s second Coffee Shack is going to include some healthy food options. I’m doing a little research and it tastes good too…after you get used to it.”
“I guess I’ll eat for both of us then.”
We laughed and I filled her in about the Ryder drama and my meeting with my mother and the dean.
“I can’t believe your mother Jenna. Sex with Claude must be great.”
“Ugh. Don’t bring that up. I don’t want the image in my head. I turn the volume up to avoid hearing them in the room next-door. I’m beyond living at home.”
“You never know how things might work out. You might be shacking up with Ryder next door.”
“One thing at a time. I move the rest of my shit out of the dorm today and Max is planning to help me out.”
“So you’re basically in a holding pattern? That can be a bitch. Did you ever find out who spotted you and Ryder?” Sayler asked.
“No, I haven’t given it much thought. That is Max’s sort of thing, so I’m
sure he’ll have some ideas.”
“I have to get going to work. I can’t even believe those words are coming out of my mouth,” Sayler said as she paid the check.
“It isn’t your words that shock me. It is the fact that you just paid for my breakfast. Thanks, Say.”
“No problem. Keep me posted. Luv ya.”
****
After breakfast, I was off to campus to collect the remainder of my things. I had borrowed Claude’s SUV.
The deciduous trees were bare and the sky was grey outside. It wasn’t a stellar day and I was hoping it would improve, along with my mood.
I pulled up to Leach Hall. It hadn’t been a bad place to live. Perhaps I would call the place home again, but for now, I had to focus on moving out.
“Max, you’re right on time,” I said as I walked into my former room. “Is Kelly here?”
“She had an early class but she let me in to get your shit staged.”
I looked at the mess. It was depressing, but I looked to Max to make it tolerable.
“I see Kelly has moved things around a bit.”
My bed had been combined with hers to make a double bed. I wasn’t pissed at Kelly, but it was unsettling. It made my suspension real and somehow permanent.
“Yeah, I helped her move the beds together. It’s more comfortable that way—” Max paused. “That’s what Kelly said.”
“Yeah…Okay, Max, let’s get this thing started. Did you borrow a dolly from maintenance?”
“I sure did. I’ll load the boxes and you wheel out your bike. By the way, did you ever ride this thing?”
“No, but I had the bike so I figured what the hell. I read that two things you should bring to college are a bike and a tennis racket. I never used either.”
“No. You just used your mouth instead.”
I punched Max in the arm.
“My extracurricular activities are none of your business. Speaking of—how is Valerie?”
“Shut up. What the hell is this?”
He held up a purple drawstring bag in which I kept my personal research project. It contained lotions and essential oils.
