Crush

by Vivienne Savage

  Loki studied their group with skepticism before his attention fell to Merlin. “And for what reason would you call me to the company of a dragonslayer and his master?” he asked, seeing straight through to Nate’s identity.

  Nate flinched and looked away.

  “Supposedly, killing him will end all dragonslayers,” Saul told him.

  “Information Nate gave us freely,” Chloe added.

  “And yet the wizard is very much alive,” Loki said dryly.

  “I wasn’t able to do it,” Astrid said. “And when we entered his lair, I noticed Merlin was trapped in a spell.”

  “So I see. And you seem to believe there’s something I can do to resolve the issue.”

  Max made a disgruntled noise of disgust in his throat. “As I said. Far be it for my cousin to think of anyone but himself. He hasn’t changed, and shall always be—”

  “I’ll do it,” Loki interrupted. He shouldered past Max without looking at him and moved up to the sofa bearing the wizard. His eyes narrowed as he watched the motionless body trapped in a state of stasis. “But it’s more than a spell. He’s been poisoned.”

  Ēostre’s eyes darted toward Loki in alarm. “If it were poison, I would have seen.”

  “This is a different poison. A contamination of the spirit as much as the body. Call it a curse, if you will. You wouldn’t recognize it unless you knew exactly what to look for.” His index and middle fingers touched Merlin’s throat, then pressed inward and parted the skin. It gave away like putty beneath his touch, but no blood flowed to the surface. When he withdrew his digits, the wizard was unharmed, his flesh whole again, but a golfball sized, glistening beetle twitched between Loki’s fingers. It hissed, the noise a high-pitched, ear-splitting wail that made even Nate squint his eyes in pain and clap both hands over his ears.

  Bile rose in Astrid’s throat. She stared at the grotesque insectoid, stomach turning. “What is that?”

  Loki shrugged. “A remnant of Salem, the souls of several black witches condensed into a single dark entity given physical form.”

  The agonizing wail came to an abrupt end, its source squashed in Loki’s fist.

  “Really? On my Persian rug?” Chloe put her hands on her hips, but it was easy to see her relief that the noise was gone.

  “Perhaps you would have preferred if I set it loose in your garden? I’ll reconstruct it if you’d like.”

  Chloe grimaced. “Um, no.”

  “Now what?” Max asked, more curious than gruff.

  “He’s still asleep, and will be for a short while yet,” Loki answered. “With no way to determine how long he’s endured the poisoning, he could be asleep for days.”

  “Then we should keep a watch on him at all times, at least three of us,” Max said.

  “I will take up the first watch,” Loki offered. “I’d like to study our guest.”

  Before Astrid could volunteer her aid, Chloe turned to her and set both hands on her daughter’s shoulders. “While the dragons draw straws to determine who watches over the wizard, I’m tucking you into bed.”

  “Mom—”

  “You were shot, young lady. Dragon or not, you’re going to rest.” She glanced at Nathan. “And we certainly can’t kick you out if you’ve betrayed your knighthood.”

  Saul stared. “Chloe—”

  “They’ll be looking for him, Saul. My mind is made.”

  Chloe dragged them both toward the stairs where she shoved Nate toward a spare guestroom.

  “Mrs. Drakenstone, it isn’t necessary.”

  “You’re someone’s son, and I’d want someone to look after mine if he were in trouble.”

  Accepting no further argument, Chloe guided Astrid along to her old bedroom at the end of the hall. “As for you, missy, I’ll run you a bath if you’d like, and we can discuss Nate.”

  The door shut behind Ēostre, who entered behind them. “Ah, good, you read my mind.”

  Astrid groaned. “I can’t handle this with both of you. This is a pain worse than bullet wounds.”

  “Too bad. Now strip and get in the tub.”

  Her grandmother smiled. “I agree with your mother, young woman. We may have used our magic to expedite your healing, but your body still requires rest and time to heal internally.”

  They let her settle in the water before they tag-teamed her, both women taking a seat at her vanity. Astrid wanted to sink beneath the bubble-covered water until they left, but she spoke her mind instead.

  “I love him, and I’m not going to leave him if that’s what you all want.”

  “Honey, I’m hurt you’d even think I’d ask that.” Chloe gave her a wounded look, pouting.

  “And Dad?”

  Chloe sat up straighter. “Your father and I talked. He’s agreed that you’re capable of making your own choices.”

  Astrid’s wary gaze darted between her mom and grandmother. “Then what do you two want to talk to me about?”

  “Your Nate is human,” Ēostre began. “His lifespan will be short, sweetheart.”

  “Mom’s human. So is Aunt Marcy.”

  “Yes, but we carried dragon babies, and that’s changed something in us. Unless things get crazy in the future, I don’t see him giving birth in your place anytime soon.”

  “So what are you saying?”

  Ēostre left her seat and settled on the ledge of the tub with a comb from Astrid’s vanity. Her fingers glided over the damp, golden strands before she dragged the comb through her loose curls. “I came to say your grandfather and I are on your side no matter who you love, and not to waste one moment with your Nate.”

  Astrid blinked up at her. “You did?”

  “I know the pain of losing your bonded mate. I also know the blessed fortune of finding a second. I want you to know that I will be here for you, no matter what happens.”

  “Fifty or sixty years with the man you love is better than none, sweetie. Do what makes you happy,” Chloe said. “Honestly, your father never likes any of your boyfriends. Nate could be another dragon and he’d still side-eye him.”

  A laugh bubbled out, taking out the last, lingering remnants of tension. She swiped at her eyes and gave her mom a smile. “You think so?”

  “Of course. You’re his baby girl, and no man, ever, will live up to his dragon-high expectations.” Chloe grinned. “At least, not that he’ll ever admit. I’m pretty sure Nate’s selfless attempt at sacrifice impressed him.”

  “Grandma?”

  “Yes, darling?”

  “You said you met Nate before in his other life… was he a good person then, too?”

  “The legends say Sir Galahad was one of King Arthur’s purest knights. For once, legends spoke truly. He was, and still seems to be, an honorable man,” Ēostre answered.

  “He really is,” Astrid mused. She hesitated and spoke up shyly, “Mom, do you remember when you had the whole sex talk with me eleven years ago, and we talked about bonding?”

  Chloe grimaced. “That was awful.”

  Sexuality was a large part of shifter culture and openly discussed, not some dirty secret to be shared in whispers only. She’d been fourteen when her parents sat her down for “the talk” and spared few details. Her father had been straightforward and honest, her mother understanding and sympathetic when Astrid asked why she didn’t resemble other fourteen-year-old girls.

  Contrary to her father’s treatment of her boyfriends over the years, she’d never felt pressured to remain a virgin. They had told her only she would know when she was ready to have sex, to take a mate, and start a family of her own.

  “But what about it, hon?”

  “Well, you marked Daddy. I’ve seen his and Uncle Teo’s brands, but do you think it’s because you carried me or because you have part of Daddy’s soul from your bonding?”

  “I honestly don’t know. I didn’t even know I could until a few years ago,” her mother admitted. “I don’t know what came over me that day.”

  “Perhaps it was the years i
n Saul’s company that allowed you to mark him during your anniversary reclaiming,” Ēostre mused.

  Her mother’s wistful expression made Astrid uncomfortable. While happy for them, she didn’t want to imagine her parents having sex. At all. She shuddered.

  “I want what you both have.”

  “Then go for it,” Chloe encouraged. “You never know, there’s always the possibility that marking him and sharing part of your essence is what changes him.”

  “But you and Aunt Marcy—”

  Chloe shook her head. “Looking back, I honestly can’t tell a difference between Marcy’s wedding photos and now. At least a couple of years passed between their bond and her deciding to have Javier. Maybe we’ve made the wrong assumptions all this time.”

  “Your mother is right, Astrid. Your situation is unique, and we’ll never know until you try. But regardless of whether he can seal the bond in return to remain with you for more than mere decades, love your Nate now while the time is yours.”

  Sometime after her mother and grandmother excused themselves from the room, she rinsed beneath the shower and pulled on pajamas. She crawled beneath the sheets with hopes of confronting Nate with her feelings the next day. Ēostre was right; any time spent loving him was better than none.

  For a long while, Astrid tossed and turned in her bed. With her rollercoaster emotions riding a cruel wave between anticipation and relief, sleep remained elusive.

  Her parents would welcome him, and all that remained was Nate accepting them in return.

  Around midnight, she shrugged into her robe and tiptoed to the stairs. A casual minute of eavesdropping picked up the sound of Max chastising Saul and Teo. Once certain most of the household had gathered around Merlin for the night’s vigil, she returned to the hall and padded into the guestroom.

  She had a loose plan, but it mostly involved getting it through his thick head that she was a big girl who knew her own heart. He could either accept that she loved him—truly loved him—or they needed a quick, clean break before she was hurt any deeper. She hoped he didn’t opt for the second.

  ***

  Nate’s senses screamed at him, a reminder of the multiple hostile dragons downstairs. Tlaloc and Saul would have been happy to pull him apart like a battered Mr. Potato Head.

  He’d tried to sleep unsuccessfully for hours before resorting to looking at his phone and willing it to ring. He worried about his dog and his mother, as well as the welfare of his friends. Percivale or Lancelot had been absent at the tomb and weren’t among the shooters. He didn’t want to blow their cover and put them at odds with Kay yet by phoning them.

  A text to his elderly neighbor put his mind about Echo at ease. He made up an emergency and thanked them for taking her.

  When the door creaked open just after midnight, he knew the intruder would be one of the big dragon’s come to floss his teeth with Nate’s pathetic human body. He didn’t have the strength to fight one of them.

  “Nate?” Astrid whispered into the dark room. “Are you awake?”

  She didn’t wait for him to respond. She shut the door behind her and crossed the room to sit on the edge of the bed.

  “I’m awake.” His bloody, torn T-shirt and jeans were on the floor.

  After showering, he’d tentatively tested the genie’s powers by wishing for an assortment of clothes in his size. She’d been unable to fetch anything from his apartment. The condo where he dwelled was one of the properties owned by the order, and so she wasn’t able to cross the protective boundaries. To rectify the dilemma, neat piles of new clothes appeared on the dresser with the tags still attached. The genie had known his preferences down to size and brand.

  “Good. We need to talk.” Astrid drew in a quick breath and pushed on before he had a chance to say anything. “Marking a mate and making them yours isn’t a trivial matter. It’s also no minor thing to find the other half of your heart and soul.”

  Tension dropped like an anchored weight in the pit of his stomach. “Uh. Well, I see we’re going to hop right to the point.”

  “Yes,” she agreed. “Because I’ve spent months putting it off and I’m not wasting another precious second.”

  Anticipating this conversation, he’d rehearsed what he would say a dozen times. As he sat up in bed, the words came easily. “I hurt you very badly, Astrid, and I don’t know if love can flourish from a relationship built on lies.”

  “I’ve been thinking about that, too. It wasn’t all a lie. I still got to know you. Not you the dragonslayer of times past, but the real you now. Not Galahad, but Nate. You’re still that man. A man who loves his dog and enjoys the beach. A man who chills with a couple drinks in front of an action movie and brings me groceries when I have cramps.”

  Back in June, he’d kindly dropped off Chinese takeout, eggs, milk, and bread for her while she languished in bed. The memory cut through the solemn mood, and Nate laughed. “That was months ago and only once.”

  “It doesn’t matter. Once was enough to know you care. You impressed Charlie.”

  “Even if we did make this work, I’ll be an old man one day. That’s only if I survive this ordeal with the knighthood and Merlin doesn’t snap the magic binding me to the living world like a dry twig.”

  “I’d rather enjoy my time with you—any time with you. I wouldn’t kill Merlin in his sleep because it was wrong, but I won’t hesitate to shred him to pieces if he tries to harm you.”

  “I know. I’m glad you didn’t.” Deep down, Nate didn’t believe he could have run the old man through either. Did that make him a good man or a dumb fool? He sighed and dipped his head to look at the lavish, Egyptian cotton sheets pooled around his waist.

  “You’re too good a person to kill a defenseless man,” Astrid whispered, as if able to read his mind.

  “So I’m the model of chivalry and all that’s right in the knighthood. So what? What happens when I die, Astrid? It isn’t a matter of if, but when. Maybe the heir of Isildur can pull off marrying an immortal, but I’ve got a few decades in me if I’m lucky.” His voice softened after his attempted humor. “Forever is a long time to live with a dead bondmate, Astrid.”

  “Your nerdy Lord of the Rings references are part of why I love you, you know.” She paused a moment and her solemn gaze seemed to peer into his soul. “I had a dream. Call it a future vision, I guess. I had moved on past you, found someone else, but I wasn’t happy. Not the same way you make me happy.”

  Nate sighed and, against his better judgment and all of his wisdom, eased his arm around Astrid’s waist to draw her into his lap. The size discrepancy between her enormous dragon body and slight, almost waifish human form bewildered him. The only similarity had been the golden sheen of her scales and her bright blue eyes. “I’m afraid you’ll resent me once I’m old.”

  “You don’t think I’m scared? That I worry about what will happen to us? I do. But I also know I’d regret it my entire life if I didn’t love you and spend whatever time we had together.”

  Could he bind her to a possible eternity of living alone, mourning her lost mate? He grasped at straws, seeking any wisdom in his memories to alleviate the difficulty of his choice. Nothing came. After a time of holding Astrid, he lowered his brow to her shoulder and sighed.

  “I don’t think I’m selfless enough to walk away from you, but I’d be lying if I said your father doesn’t terrify me.”

  “He terrifies everyone.” Finally, she laughed, a small little sound as she leaned her cheek against his head. “Really, though, all he wants is what any father wants—to see his baby happy. Protected. Loved.” She lifted a hand to his face, turning his gaze up to hers. “You make me happy. Isn’t that enough for us to hold on to?”

  “I do love you. And I’d fight any of the knights to protect you.” And maybe he’d have to in the end. Something told him they hadn’t seen the last of Kay and Bedivere, or their lackeys. His grip on Astrid tightened as he tried to think like the man who had raised him and anticipate Kay’s ne
xt move. They wouldn’t have much time before Kay brought the battle to them.

  “Then please stop pushing me away.”

  There were many ways to show forgiveness, but kissing him was the best one of all. The gentle brush of her lips against his mouth followed Astrid’s quiet plea. Her hands framed his face, thumb stroking over his jaw, and the shadow of dark brown stubble. His arm tightened around her waist, and at the end, he gazed at her with only the dim, silver light through the window highlighting her features.

  “Then I’m yours.” The words scared him as much as the possibility of fighting Kay, a dragonslayer who had already honed his powers and regained all of his knightly talents. Gliding his fingers over her ribs, he searched where bright stains of red had glistened against her dragon skin. “I’ll kill them for hurting you.”

  “Better me than you. Scales are a lot hardier than human flesh.”

  “They didn’t seem to help you that much,” he pointed out. She’d flown for their lives while bleeding profusely from multiple wounds. The realization struck him, and respect for her leaped to a new level of awe. Suppressing the fears of what could have happened, he relished the warm and alive woman in bed with him now, fingers gliding over her legs.

  As his touch traveled over fair, silky smooth skin, Astrid seemed to recognize his lack of clothing. Her palms smoothed over his bare chest and across his shoulders. In the next span of thought, she shrugged out of her robe and pulled her nightgown over her head, revealing herself to him.

  He’d crawled beneath the sheets in only his boxers, and they were useless between them, a thin layer of irritating cotton between her weight and his arousing cock. He groaned against her lips, barely able to turn his face away.

  “Your dad’s downstairs.” Hell, her entire family was downstairs.

  Astrid pressed closer. “I don’t care,” she whispered. “I’ll sleep with my boyfriend if I want to.”

  Her movement, whether intentional or not, teased the tips of her breasts against his chest. He cupped one gentle swell and circled the stiff peak with his thumb, ending his protests. “God.”