The Land of Stories

by Chris Colfer

  “Please, I insist,” the prince said.

  Cinderella had a seat, and the prince placed the glass slipper on her foot. To everyone’s amazement (except Cinderella’s, of course), it was a perfect fit! The prince kissed her cheek and proposed on the spot.

  At first, Cinderella didn’t know how to answer. She had met the prince only once before, but he had been in her thoughts every day since the ball. Waltzing around the ballroom had been the happiest experience of her life, and after years of unpleasant memories, Cinderella was ready to make new ones.

  “Yes, Your Highness,” Cinderella said. “I will marry you.”

  Despite the years of cruel treatment, Cinderella forgave her stepmother and stepsisters and invited them to her wedding. Sadly, they didn’t come. Just as the stepmother predicted, Cinderella had caused them so much embarrassment that they never showed their faces in society again.

  Cinderella and the prince were married the following week in an enormous celebration at the palace. Church bells rang joyfully around the kingdom, and Cinderella was welcomed into the royal family with open arms. She and the prince had a wonderful marriage, and they lived happily ever after.

  The End

  HANSEL AND GRETEL

  ADAPTED FROM THE BROTHERS GRIMM

  Once upon a time, there were a brother and sister named Hansel and Gretel. They lived with their father and stepmother in a small cottage at the edge of the woods. Their father was a good man who loved his children more than anything else in the world. His wife, however, was a mean and selfish woman who became jealous of the affection her husband showed his children.

  Their father was a woodcutter and did all he could to provide for his family, but due to a recent famine spreading across the land, times were hard for peasant families in the kingdom. Food was scarce, and many worried about surviving the approaching winter.

  “If we don’t do something, we’ll starve!” the wife told the woodcutter one night before bed. “We barely have enough food for the two of us. We must get rid of Hansel and Gretel if we want to survive.”

  “I could never get rid of my children,” the woodcutter said. “They mean everything to me!”

  “It’ll be easy,” said the wife, who had already devised a plan. “Tomorrow, we’ll take Hansel and Gretel deep into the forest and leave them there. They’re so young, they won’t be able to find their way home. They’ll get lost and a hungry pack of wolves will find them. We’ll never have to worry about feeding them again.”

  “I would rather starve than abandon my children,” the woodcutter said. “I won’t hear another word of this. We will find another way to get through the winter.”

  Despite her husband’s wishes, the wife was convinced her plan was the only solution. Luckily, Hansel and Gretel were still awake and heard their father and stepmother’s conversation through the thin walls of their cottage.

  “What will we do, Hansel?” Gretel asked her brother. “Our stepmother will surely try to abandon us in the woods while Father is away chopping wood tomorrow.”

  “Don’t fret, Gretel,” Hansel said. “I’ll gather white pebbles tonight while they sleep and create a trail to follow back home.”

  So Hansel snuck outside while his father and stepmother slept and gathered as many white pebbles as he could find. The next morning, once the woodcutter left to chop down trees, his wife led the children into the woods.

  “Where are we going?” Gretel asked.

  “To collect firewood,” their stepmother said. “Now be quiet and follow me.”

  She led them deep into the heart of the forest, farther than Hansel and Gretel had ever gone before. Hansel dropped a white pebble every few steps, leaving a trail behind them. They traveled the whole day and came to a stop just as the sun began to set.

  “Now look around and help me gather wood,” their stepmother said. But before she finished her sentence, she dashed back in the direction from which they had come, leaving her stepchildren all alone in the woods.

  Hansel and Gretel followed the trail of white pebbles to their cottage. The forest became so dark after nightfall, the small white stones were the only thing they could see. By the time they returned, their father was worried sick about them.

  “Thank the Lord you’re all right,” the woodcutter said and embraced his children tightly. “Where is your stepmother?”

  To Hansel and Gretel’s surprise, they had arrived home before their stepmother. Without a trail of pebbles, the woodcutter’s wife had a hard time navigating through the woods and returned several hours after her stepchildren. She was furious to see that Hansel and Gretel had found their way back to the cottage.

  “What happened?” the woodcutter asked his wife.

  “We went to retrieve firewood,” the wife said. “I turned my back for one minute and they were gone.”

  “I pray it doesn’t happen again,” the woodcutter said.

  “Don’t worry, it won’t,” the wife said and glared at her stepchildren when her husband wasn’t looking.

  That night, the wife locked Hansel and Gretel in their room so they couldn’t sneak out to collect any more white pebbles.

  “Oh, Hansel, what are we to do now?” Gretel asked her brother. “Our stepmother will surely try to abandon us again tomorrow.”

  “Don’t fret, Gretel,” Hansel said. “Tomorrow morning at breakfast, we’ll save our crusts of bread and use bread crumbs to make a trail.”

  Just as predicted, as soon as their father left the next morning, their stepmother led Hansel and Gretel back into the woods. They walked even longer this time, traveling farther into the trees than ever before. Hansel left crumbs behind them as they went and nearly ran out by the time they stopped.

  “Now gather up some wood,” their stepmother said.

  Once again, she dashed back toward the cottage and left Hansel and Gretel all alone in the woods. It was so late that Hansel and Gretel decided to sleep in the woods and wait for morning to follow the bread crumbs home. Unfortunately, by the time they awoke, the morning birds had eaten all the bread crumbs they’d left behind!

  Hansel and Gretel walked through the woods in what they hoped was the right direction, but there were so many trees, it was impossible to tell. They walked for hours and hours, never finding a familiar part of the forest.

  They finally found a friendly white bird and followed it through the woods, hoping it might lead them home. The longer they followed the bird, the more a wonderful aroma filled the air. It was a sweet smell, as if something delicious was baking in an oven nearby.

  Hansel and Gretel came upon a clearing in the middle of the woods. They were delighted to see, in the center of the clearing, a house made entirely of food. It had gingerbread walls, a fence made of candy canes, and a garden of gumdrop shrubs. The roof was covered in frosting, and the windows were made of clear sugar panes.

  “I’ve never seen something so delicious!” Gretel exclaimed.

  She and her brother dashed toward the house and began eating it. They were so hungry and tired from their journey, they didn’t even think to ask the resident for permission. Suddenly, the door of the home opened and a kind-looking old woman stepped outside.

  “Who’s there?” the old woman said. “What are you doing to my house?”

  “Please forgive us,” Hansel said. “We were hungry and lost in the woods when we found your home.”

  The old woman smiled at them, showing rotting teeth behind her wrinkled lips.

  “I didn’t realize you were children,” she said happily. “No need to apologize, my dear. I built a home out of food for children just like you. Please eat as much as you’d like!”

  Hansel and Gretel were certain the old woman must be an angel in disguise. They ate the candy-cane fence and the gumdrop shrubs. They ate the sugar-pane windows and licked all the frosting off the roof. By the time Hansel and Gretel were full, they’d eaten everything but the gingerbread walls.

  “Now come inside and rest, my dears,”
the old woman said. “There are more goodies and soft beds waiting for you.”

  Hansel and Gretel eagerly did as the old woman requested, knowing they could use a rest after their journey through the woods. However, when they went inside, there were no goodies or beds to be found, only a large cage and an enormous oven.

  The old woman threw Hansel and Gretel in the cage and locked the door. She took off the mask of an old woman, and the children saw that the rest of her was as rotten as her teeth. She wasn’t a sweet old woman at all, but an ugly old witch!

  “One of you shall be my dinner, and the other shall be my slave!” the witch cackled. “That’ll teach you not to wander the woods alone!”

  The witch pulled Gretel out of the cage and handed her a broom.

  “Sweep the house, girl,” the witch ordered. “I want a clean home before my meal.”

  Not having much choice, Gretel swept the house until it was spotless. The witch lit a fire in the oven and then pulled Hansel out of the cage.

  “You shouldn’t eat me yet!” Hansel pleaded. “I’m too thin and frail to make a meal, but if you keep feeding me, soon I’ll make a feast!”

  The witch scratched the hairs on her chin and thought it over.

  “That’s an excellent idea,” the witch said. “I shall keep feeding you until you outgrow the cage; then you shall be my first meal of winter!”

  For weeks and weeks, the witch forced Hansel to eat delicious sweets, while Gretel was forced to clean inside and outside the house. At the end of every day, the witch would peer into the cage and squint at Hansel.

  “Are you pleasantly plump yet?” the witch asked.

  Hansel assumed the witch must have bad vision. Otherwise, surely she could see that his clothes were much tighter than before and he grew rounder every day. He quickly thought of a way to use the witch’s failing eyes to save his life.

  “I’d make a decent bite, but not enough to serve your appetite,” Hansel lied.

  The witch huffed and puffed, then ordered Gretel to cook her a rat stew for dinner.

  The next day, as Gretel was cleaning up leaves outside the house, she put a couple of sticks in her pocket. Later that night, she slid them into Hansel’s cage just before the witch peered inside.

  “Are you reasonably round yet?” the witch asked.

  “He’s as thin as he’s ever been,” Gretel said. “Hansel, hold out your hand so the witch can feel your bony finger.”

  Gretel nodded to the sticks she had given him, and Hansel knew what to do. He held out one stick like it was a part of his hand, and the witch felt it. She moaned and groaned, then ordered Gretel to prepare spider soup for her supper.

  Hansel and Gretel didn’t know how much longer they could continue tricking the witch. They knew she was growing impatient, because the next day she peered into the cage even before the sun had set.

  “Are you finally fat?” she asked.

  “I’m ample for snacking, but a full meal you’d be lacking,” Hansel lied again.

  He held out a stick as he had done the night before. The witch felt the stick, and her face went bright red.

  “I’ve waited long enough!” the witch shouted. “Fat or not, I will eat you tonight! Prepare the oven, girl!”

  Gretel opened the wide door to the oven and filled it with firewood. She lit a match, and a healthy fire grew inside. The witch stood behind her, and a sinister smile grew across her ugly face.

  “Now I want you to test the fire to see if it’s hot,” the witch said.

  Gretel knew the witch was trying to trick her—she was going to eat both of them for dinner!

  “But I don’t know how,” Gretel said, thinking fast. “Will you show me what to do?”

  “Stupid girl,” the witch said. “Move aside and I will show you. It’s very simple; you just lean into the oven like this and touch the flames with your— AAAAHHH!”

  Gretel pushed the witch into the oven with all her might and locked the door behind her. The witch screamed as she was cooked to a crisp. When her screams finally came to a stop, Gretel freed Hansel from the cage. Just before they escaped the house, Hansel found a vase full of rubies and diamonds the witch had kept on a shelf. He and Gretel filled their pockets with the jewels and ran into the woods.

  They ran far away from the witch’s gingerbread house and never looked back. Eventually, they came to the edge of the woods and saw a very familiar cottage.

  “Gretel, look! We’re home!” Hansel exclaimed.

  The woodcutter heard his children and rushed out to greet them. He was so overjoyed to see them that tears filled his eyes and rolled down his face. Hansel and Gretel looked around the cottage, but the woodcutter’s wife was nowhere to be found.

  “Father, what happened to our stepmother?” Gretel asked.

  “The same day you went missing, she got lost in the woods and a pack of wolves found her,” he said. “I was so worried the same had happened to you, but you’re both alive and well, so all is right in the world!”

  The woodcutter embraced his children and never let them out of his sight again. They used the jewels to buy a new home much closer to the nearby village, and Hansel and Gretel ate all the sweets they wanted without the fear of witches. The family survived the winter and lived happily ever after.

  The End

  GOLDILOCKS AND THE THREE BEARS

  ADAPTED FROM THE TRADITIONAL STORY

  Once upon a time, there was a Papa Bear, a Mama Bear, and a Baby Bear. Although most bears prefer to live in caves by themselves, this family lived together in a quaint tree house in the middle of the woods. The house was rather small for bears of their size, but they found it perfectly accommodating.

  Like most families, each bear was different and had his or her own unique set of comforts.

  In the sitting room, each bear had a special chair. Papa Bear sat in a wooden rocking chair by the fireplace. Mama Bear enjoyed a cushiony armchair by the window. Baby Bear had a small chair just his size near his big toy chest.

  At night when the bears went to bed, they slept in three very different beds. Papa Bear had a big bed with a stiff mattress. Mama Bear liked to sleep in a medium-size bed with lots of feather pillows. Baby Bear slept in a smaller bed that matched his height and width perfectly.

  One morning, Papa Bear made his family porridge for breakfast. He poured the porridge into three separate bowls, and the bears sat around the kitchen table to enjoy it. It was rare that the family agreed upon something, but as they each took their first bite of breakfast, they all agreed it was too hot.

  “Why don’t we go for a walk outside while we wait for our porridge to cool off?” Papa Bear suggested. “It’s been a while since we had a proper family outing.”

  Mama Bear and Baby Bear thought this was an excellent idea, so the family went for a short stroll through the woods while their food cooled off. Also taking a walk in the woods that day was a little girl from the nearby village. Her name was Goldilocks because of her beautiful golden curls.

  It’s a wonder Goldilocks didn’t cross paths with the bears, because she came upon the tree house shortly after the bears left it. She had never seen a house like it before. Goldilocks was a very curious little girl and had never encountered a strange place she didn’t want to explore, so she knocked on the door to ask if she could come inside.

  She gave the door a sturdy knock, and to her surprise, it swung right open. The bears had forgotten to lock the door on their way out.

  “Hello? Is anyone home?” Goldilocks called into the empty tree house, but all she heard was her own voice echoing back at her.

  When no one answered, Goldilocks decided to give herself a tour. The aroma of fresh porridge led her to the kitchen, and she saw the three bowls laid out on the table.

  “Porridge! My favorite!” Goldilocks exclaimed.

  The little girl had worked up such an appetite while walking through the woods that she forgot all her manners. She picked up a spoon and tasted Papa Bear’s porridge
without asking. It was so warm, it burned her tongue.

  “This porridge is much too hot,” Goldilocks said.

  She scooted over and took a bite of Mama Bear’s porridge. It was much closer to the window and had cooled off so much, it hardly tasted like porridge at all.

  “This porridge is much too cold,” Goldilocks said.

  Then she slid down to the next spot and tried Baby Bear’s porridge. The little girl smiled, because in her opinion, it was exactly how porridge should taste.

  “This porridge is just right!” Goldilocks said.

  She ate Baby Bear’s porridge until the bowl was empty. When she finished, she looked for a place to sit down while her stomach settled. She went into the sitting room and took a seat in Papa Bear’s rocking chair. It was so solid, it hurt her bottom to sit on it.

  “This rocking chair is much too hard,” Goldilocks said.

  She hopped down from the rocking chair and sat in Mama Bear’s armchair. It was so soft, she sank into the middle of it.

  “This armchair is much too soft,” Goldilocks said.

  It took a moment for the little girl to climb off the seat. Once she recovered, she sat down in Baby Bear’s chair. The young bear’s chair was just what Goldilocks was looking for.

  “This chair is just right!” she said happily.

  Goldilocks leaned back in the chair, and it suddenly crumbled underneath her. Before she knew it, the little girl found herself on the floor. Goldilocks had never broken a chair before, so it was quite a shock.

  “I must have eaten more porridge than I thought,” she said.

  Since the chairs weren’t up to her standards, Goldilocks decided to take a rest on a bed. Besides, after a long day of walking through the woods and exploring strange houses, she was ready for a nap. She went to the bears’ bedroom and lay down in Papa Bear’s bed.

  “This bed is much too firm,” Goldilocks said.