Good Vibration

by S M Mala

  ‘Finlay’s going to break your heart. He, for some strange reason, dotes on Julie Lefuck. Any other person, in their right mind, would have started divorce proceedings but he’s farting around and…’ Toby bit his lip. ‘He’ll go back to her if he’s the father, you know that don’t you?’

  Sylvie shut her eyes for a moment and breathed in the shocking cold air before feeling something fall on her nose.

  ‘It’s snowing,’ she said, looking up at the sky as Toby stared at her. ‘I’m so not perfect for him. I am forty eight years old Toby, not forty. I lied to Daisy as I didn’t want to sound that old.’

  ‘I know you silly old sausage,’ he said, gently shoving her. ‘I know I’m extremely handsome but I’m not blonde… though I was when I was little. And a few of my pubes are straw like in colour. Want to see?’ Toby laughed for a moment before letting out a sad sigh. ‘What will you do when he goes back to her? You can’t let Daisy know, she’ll get upset if she loses someone else in her life again and-.’

  ‘He’s not allowed to come to my home and I don’t see him at weekends. We try to meet when Daisy’s at school. Last Friday was a big shock to me when he turned up but he was a bit out of kilter. Juliette wants him to take tests in Switzerland in the second week of March as she’ll be happy the baby’s health will be fine. I expect Finlay’s biding his time until then.’

  It was a painful stab when she admitted it out loudly to someone, what she feared most and what she was trying so hard to hide.

  ‘Nothing will affect the company and there’s no compromise there. I want it to do well and Finlay and your mother don’t want it. A fact!’ she continued, constantly swallowing her pain on losing Finlay and the deep rooted dread of picking herself up again, knowing he probably didn’t really want her. ‘I never thought I could like someone again. It’s been good for me.’

  ‘How good will it be when you’re heartbroken? Because I know you like him more than a lot, I can see.’

  ‘I’ll cope,’ she replied quietly and looked down, blinking back her tears. ‘I don’t want your mother to find out as she’ll think I’m doing it to settle old scores. Piers will just question my sanity.’

  She felt Toby touch her chin as she looked up and he stared at her with a serious look of confusion before wiping her face.

  ‘See this?’ he said and she realised there was a tear on his finger. ‘This shouldn’t be happening. I love my brother with all my heart and I want him to be happy but not at the expense of you. The thing that has bugged me since I discovered your little secret is that…’ He hesitated then shook his head before letting the tear drop fall off his finger. ‘I’ve never seen him look so happy and that just confuses me and him. What if he thinks he can carry that happiness back to France with his slut wife?’

  ‘If there’s a baby involved then he’ll be happy. He wants kids and he’ll-.’

  ‘He’ll be heartbroken,’ Toby interrupted. ‘And I don’t want that to happen to Finlay either.’

  He kissed all over her body and now wanted to go deep inside. Sylvie’s skin was warm and smooth as he touched her waist and felt the curve of her stomach. Finlay wanted to watch her have an orgasm, he’d thought about little else since they’d missed their session the day before. Toby was being less frosty but he knew they’d spoken at a personal level due to his brother constantly hugging Sylvie.

  His hand moved between her legs and he felt the warmth before his finger became wet as he rubbed her juices on her clit. She gasped as he slowly started to feel the little nub become harder and bent down, sucking her nipples as her lips swelled.

  Looking up, he saw her eyes were closed as his mouth covered hers and then he knew she was on the verge as her panting became heavier. Then it hit her like an electric bolt, the moans and gasps, while digging her fingers into his shoulders. Quickly, he pushed himself into her tight and wet hole, the heat over taking him as he felt the ecstasy of her pussy, moving his hips faster knowing he wasn’t going to last long.

  ‘Yes,’ she groaned as he squeezed one of her breasts and bent down to kiss it before resting on his elbows and looking at Sylvie, whose eyes were open.

  All of a sudden the shock of fucking and Sylvie came together as he was overcome in his own orgasm before kissing her face. He wanted to shout out he loved her, tell her what was going on deep in his heart but there was also something he didn’t want to reveal.

  The small amount of hope the baby might be his.

  The hope he was going to be a father.

  And the final faint hope he may become a family with Juliette.

  That’s when the true despair of what could happen hit him and he knew exactly who he was going to have to sacrifice if the hope was realised.

  He wasn’t quite sure how he’d live without her.

  Without Sylvie.

  Forty three

  Finlay was laughing hard in his bed as she sat at the end watching him bend over double.

  ‘You’re not impressed?’ he said, holding up a package Samina had given him for Sylvie.

  It was a twelve inch glitter pink dildo, making her feel both frightened and sickened.

  ‘I don’t want that anywhere near me,’ she replied with a sheet firmly wrapped around her body. ‘And you shouldn’t be letting her give you these things!’

  ‘Your face when I pulled it out!’ he laughed as she frowned again. ‘The shock!’

  ‘The horror!’

  Sylvie smiled and checked her watch. It was coming up to three and she knew it was time to head off home soon. They spent the day in bed as his idea of an early birthday present to her.

  ‘Do you have to go?’ he sighed, lying back down. ‘Okay, that’s a silly question because you have to pick up Daisy.’

  She glanced over at his slim naked torso, wishing she could take him home then snapped out of her thought quickly, only to be met with a smile.

  ‘Do something useful. Go and make me a cup of tea,’ Sylvie grinned then noticed he was staring at her. ‘What’s wrong now? Can you see how saggy my boobs are through the sheet?’

  ‘You’re very beautiful Sly, has anyone told you that before?’

  ‘Funnily enough…’ she laughed, grabbing her clothes off the floor. ‘They have. Usually before, during and after sex.’

  ‘I expect your husband told you all the time?’

  ‘He told me enough to make me believe he meant it.’

  ‘It’s true, he wasn’t making it up.’ Finlay sat up and balanced on his hands. ‘When are we going to spend the night together? The last time was before Christmas.’

  Sylvie let out a little groan knowing he’d been going on about it for weeks as she walked out of the room and went to the bathroom for a quick shower.

  When she finished and walked into the kitchen, he had on a shirt with a pair of tattered jeans, making a pot of tea. She grinned knowing he was looking at her through the reflection of the window. Walking up to him slowly, she wrapped her arms around his front and placed her head against his back.

  ‘You’re wonderful,’ she sighed as he stroked her arm. ‘And I’ll sort out a night for us. It’s a question of when grandma is-.’

  Sylvie stopped when she saw the invitation on the side she had received weeks earlier.

  ‘What?’ he said, turning before she could look away.

  ‘Nothing,’ she said, shaking her head and stepping back.

  ‘Ah! I was going to ask you.’

  ‘Ask me what?’ she replied as he handed her a cup of tea and noticed he hadn’t bothered to button his shirt.

  ‘Fancy coming as my plus one?’

  Her heart started to thunder through her chest when she realised what he was asking. She pretended not to hear him and walked out of the kitchen towards the living room.

  ‘Did you hear me?’ he called out as she turned and looked innocently at him.

  ‘I’m busy,’ she shrugged.

  ‘You don’t know what I’m talking about and when,’ Finlay said gravely. ‘You d
on’t want to come out with me? Be seen in public?’

  ‘We shouldn’t really, all things considered and-.’

  ‘You’re coming.’

  He walked up to her before kissing her on the forehead.

  ‘To what?’

  ‘My school fundraising ball and-.’

  ‘No!’ Sylvie stepped back and looked straight up at him. ‘I won’t fit in, Finlay. I don’t belong at-.’

  ‘You belong with me so I won’t hear ‘no’ for an answer,’ he said cheerfully and went into the living room. ‘And you can’t wear black!’

  The real terror hit her as she was going to have to explain to him why she couldn’t go. Then the thought of how he might be a little pissed off she missed out a massive chunk of information regarding her husband.

  ‘I’m very self-conscious about big events. I get very nervous and say the wrong thing. People will look down their noses at me and, well, you should be going with… take Toby. He’ll enjoy it and-.’

  ‘All the family get invited and I’ve not been for years, actually eight, so it might be fun plus it’s for a good cause. You know they raise money for kids from under privileged backgrounds to attend the school. It’s a scholarship foundation and they’re making some big announcement or something. I’ve not really kept up to speed with it but Frank emailed, begging for me to go. You know, the guy you kissed at that Simmonds party?’ he said, sitting down and flicking through something on his tablet. ‘I’ll be in need of cheering up because I’d have returned from Switzerland and more than likely, will know if the child is mine or not.’

  Sylvie sat down on the armchair and stared into her cup.

  In her heart she knew she didn’t really have that long with Finlay. Whether he was the father or not, she truly believed he would make a decision and she would be the one he’d give up. Every night it went through her head what he would say, what would be the reason to end the relationship. She knew the standard list of ten he could use but she was dreading which one would be the key to turn her away.

  ‘You look worried,’ she heard Finlay say as she sipped her tea and glanced at her watch. ‘What’s wrong?’

  ‘I don’t want to be late and miss the train.’

  ‘They come every twenty minutes. Do you want me to give you a lift?’

  ‘No thank you,’ she smiled, knowing he was giving her the once over.

  Her chest felt like it was tightening as she stared at him for a moment.

  ‘Please come with me,’ he gently asked. ‘If you’re worried about my mother being there, I know she’s going away that weekend with Piers so you’re safe. Toby might turn up but who knows. I’d be very honoured to have you on my arm.’

  ‘You talk utter bullshit,’ she laughed. ‘Is that what they taught you at your posh school?’

  ‘They taught me many things but not about women like you.’

  Finlay stood up and walked towards her as she drank her tea. Then his face came into vision as he bent over.

  ‘Don’t frown. You’re coming whether you like it or not and you’re going to arrange a night for us to spend together.’

  ‘You might regret this.’

  Finlay was being nice, and she suspected because he’d thrown her over the invitation, as he walked with her to the station. She could see him smiling to himself.

  ‘What are you going to wear? It’s at-.’

  ‘If you don’t think I’ll scrub up well, Finlay, then don’t take me.’

  She knew she sounded arsey as he started to laugh.

  Sylvie stopped and looked at him, knowing she had to say something but couldn’t utter the words.

  ‘Okay… what’s really bothering you?’ he whispered.

  Finlay pushed her hair away from her face as she grimaced.

  ‘I’m pleased you’re going for the tests. I think that’s amazing you came to the decision without any prompting from me.’ He laughed as she scowled. ‘Have you thought it through, what if the baby’s yours or what if it isn’t?’

  ‘Nope!’ he shrugged.

  ‘I don’t believe you,’ she said quietly, seeing he diverted his eyes and her heart crumbled. ‘Whatever decision you make will be the right one. If, at the last minute, you change your mind and want to go back to your wife, then I won’t stand in your way.’

  The mask was up as she smiled brightly whereas his smile had slipped.

  ‘Finlay! Sylvie!’ she heard Piers shout, walking towards them.

  ‘Fuck,’ she mumbled which brought the smile back to Finlay’s lips.

  ‘What are you doing here?’ the older man asked, giving her a big hug then looking at her quizzically. ‘And why didn’t you come to see me?’

  ‘I needed to speak to her and wasn’t feeling too good,’ replied Finlay and Sylvie knew from Piers’s expression he didn’t believe a word of it.

  ‘But it’s your day off,’ continued Piers and Sylvie knew to avoid eye contact should she just blurt out the truth. ‘I hope he pays you for it.’

  ‘Oh, he’s making me pay for it,’ she mumbled feeling uncomfortable. ‘I better go.’

  ‘I’m coming into work tomorrow,’ announced Piers as Sylvie looked at him. ‘I want to go over a few things. You don’t mind, do you Finlay? I’m not stepping on your toes but you haven’t been very good, actually the pair of you, keeping me in the loop.’

  ‘That’ll be wonderful!’ said Sylvie as she noticed Finlay look away and down the road.

  ‘And I want to take you out for lunch, as it’s your unofficial birthday and I know you’ve been working very hard,’ the man said cheerfully and Sylvie didn’t look at Finlay as she knew he had made plans. ‘Unless you’re doing something else?’

  ‘I think that’s a brilliant idea!’ Finlay said, before turning to Sylvie. ‘Now can you manage to get to the station on your own? I think I better escort this one back to the house. Does mother know you’re out?’

  ‘I’m not a bloody invalid,’ Piers said as Sylvie stepped closer and sniffed.

  ‘You’ve been drinking!’ she said accusingly. ‘Where’d you go?’

  ‘There!’ he said, pointing to the bistro as Sylvie suddenly realised Piers might have seen her and Finlay talking. ‘Small glass of Rioja never hurt anyone, did it? And talking of hurting people, have you spoken to your mother, Finlay? She’s on the war path. Seems ‘Le Font’ haven’t been forthcoming with the accounts and she just found out.’

  ‘What?’ Finlay said, the colour draining from his face.

  ‘Think you better speak to her.’ Piers turned to Sylvie and stared hard before whispering, ‘the question is my darling, what haven’t you been forthcoming about?’

  Piers stared at Finlay as he sat watching his mother near explode in her living room, later on that day.

  ‘Why didn’t you tell me!’ she yelled as he put his head in his hands before looking up. ‘They’ve been bleeding us dry! She’s a bitch! That woman is a devious little bitch!’

  ‘Calm down darling,’ Piers said gently and was met with a glare even Finlay had never witnessed from his mother before. ‘I’m sure there’s a reasonable explanation for it all.’

  ‘They are turning over more but the profit is less!’ she shouted. ‘Even losing money! How! Finlay have you got any idea?’

  ‘Actually, not really,’ he replied quietly, seeing Piers grimace. ‘When I went over in December I got hold of some of the figures and sent them to the accountants. They never came back and-.’

  ‘Six months ago you left her Finlay and god knows what you’ve been doing since then. What exasperates me is that it has been going on since January,’ she said angrily. ‘You’ve been hiding at that bloody sex place and not keeping on top of it because Juliette’s involved. I need your help and, mostly, your honesty regarding things like this! How many more parts of the group are bleeding us dry?’

  ‘No other part,’ he mumbled realising his mother was right. ‘I’m on top of all the other companies but ‘Le Font’, well, I trusted my wife to run
it properly.’

  ‘Well, she hasn’t and you’re moving back into the offices from tomorrow!’ she snapped.

  ‘I’m going into my place tomorrow so he needs to be there,’ Piers said quietly and flashed him a strange glance. ‘Does that mean I have to start going back in if he’s not around?’

  Finlay stood up and walked towards the doors leading to the patio, seeing the frozen grass and realised he was now being pulled away from where he wanted to be. He felt sick at the thought of not seeing Sylvie. A panic started in his chest as he placed his forehead against the cold glass.

  ‘He doesn’t need to spend every day there, does he?’ he heard his mother ask. ‘Surely they can exist without you.’

  ‘I’m not sure if I can exist without her,’ he whispered into the door, seeing his breath leave marks on the glass.

  The hand on his shoulder made him jump when he realised Piers was standing behind him as he let out a sigh.

  ‘Oh Finlay,’ he quietly whispered, before turning around. ‘Look Alice, he’s been under an incredible amount of pressure due to his marriage and… the chance he might be the father of Juliette’s child. I’m sure Finlay will get on top of things, won’t you?’

  He turned and looked at Piers for a moment realising his stepfather knew something but wasn’t going to ask or question anything, as he smiled and kissed his stepson’s forehead.

  ‘Don’t make this any more complicated than it is,’ Piers whispered. ‘Please.’

  The following morning he was in early and managed to corner Sylvie in the edit suite. They kissed for a long time until he realised he’d have to let her go. She let out a sigh, picked up his hand and kissed it.

  ‘You make me very happy,’ she whispered.

  ‘Same here.’

  ‘And you know I -.’

  ‘Don’t!’ he said sharply and he could tell from her reaction she was a little stunned. ‘You’re not to say it.’

  ‘Okay,’ she replied and he could see she was upset. ‘I want to tell you and … no you’re right, it’ll just confuse everything.’ Sylvie then grinned. ‘I’m effectively eleven years older than you sometime between midnight tonight. I bet you think I’m ancient!’