Darkest Ecstasy

by Tawny Taylor

  He leaned toward her and closed his eyes, his lips not quite touching hers. This time he couldn’t allow himself to kiss her. If he did, he knew he wouldn’t be able to go through with this.

  I love you, Michelle. I love you more than I should.

  “Tage?” she whispered.

  “We’re here. I’ll help you out of the car. Once I get you inside, you have to promise me you won’t move for five minutes. Not a finger. Not a toe. Nothing. It’s important.”

  “Okay.”

  He dragged in a deep breath. “All right. Wait here.”

  She nodded.

  He handed her bag to her, then left the car, circled around to her door, and helped her out and up to the door. It was locked, but he’d taken her keys out of her bag before giving it to her. After unlocking the door, he led her inside, set her keys on the table next to the door. Then he pulled the small package from his pocket and left it next to her keys.

  She was standing stiffly, her lips parted slightly, her chest rising and falling rapidly.

  “It’s going to be okay now. I promise.” A strand of hair fluttered in front of her face. He tucked it behind her ear, then smoothed his hand down the side of her head. “Thank you for trusting me.”

  She visibly swallowed. Her hand lifted to his, resting on top of it. She was shaking now, worse than before. “I’m sorry for being so weak—”

  “Shhhhh. There’s no reason for you to apologize. You’re perfect. Always perfect.” He ached to kiss her. His arms burned to hold her. One more time. Only once.

  No. You can’t. You won’t let her go.

  He let his fingers trail down the curve of her jaw. Then he let her go. “Don’t move,” he warned.

  “I won’t.”

  “I don’t want you to be hurt.”

  “I promise I’ll stay right here. What’s going on? Am I hiding for a little while? When will you be back?”

  “Everything is okay. You can trust me.”

  Somehow, he made it out the door and into his car. Without looking to see if she’d listened, he pulled out onto the road and hit the gas.

  It was done.

  She was free.

  Her life was her own again.

  Four fifty-seven Mississippi, four fifty-eight Mississippi, four fifty-nine Mississippi . . . five.

  Michelle pulled the blindfold down.

  Her apartment. She was back in her apartment.

  That meant... oh God, that meant he’d decided he didn’t want her. He didn’t want their child. He had told her he would be taking a risk by keeping them in his life. Clearly they weren’t worth that risk.

  Her heart shattered.

  From the moment he had taken her to his place today, she’d kept telling herself it would be better if he would walk away, go without her. At least then she wouldn’t be forced to live the rest of her life as a fugitive.

  But somehow knowing that wasn’t easing the pain.

  She hurt. Everywhere. Inside. Outside. Head. Chest. Stomach. Legs.

  She staggered to the couch and fell onto it.

  He didn’t say good-bye. Nor did he give her the chance to tell him how she felt. Maybe that was why it hurt so much. She would never have closure.

  “I loved you,” she shouted as she surged to her feet. He wouldn’t hear her, but she had to say it anyway. And although she felt as if the world was tipping and rocking, she couldn’t sit. Too much adrenaline was charging through her veins. “I loved you so much I would have gone with you. Willingly. Despite the danger.”

  She staggered to the window and jerked open the shades. The car was gone.

  How could he leave without saying good-bye? Without giving her the chance to say good-bye to him? How?

  He had stolen her choice. He hadn’t let her decide what was best for herself.

  “You bastard!”

  Tears burned her eyes. She didn’t try to stop them. They flowed until there were none left.

  What would she do now?

  Her phone. She could call him. He had to give her a chance to at least tell him how she felt. Surely he would answer when he saw her number.

  She stumbled to the table where her purse was sitting.

  There was a small package sitting next to her keys, roughly the size of her wallet.

  What’s this?

  She grabbed it and wasted no time tearing it open.

  Inside she found a letter and a key.

  Dear Michelle,

  This wasn’t the way I wanted this to go. I dreamed of sharing the rest of my life with you, raising our children together, spending our days laughing and crying, sharing joys and sorrows.

  Not this.

  But I couldn’t put you through the pain I knew would come. There is so much you don’t know. I doubt you’ll ever forgive me for what I’ve done. But I still wanted to tell you I love you. I love you more than I ever thought I could love a human being. I love you too much to cause any pain, even the slightest.

  Take the key to Sprint Fitness. Locker number 105. Inside you’ll find something that will hopefully help you and our child have a little better life. It is the least I could do. I wish I could have done more.

  Love, Talen Gryffon

  Fury charged through her. Oh, so he got his closure. He made sure of that. But she . . . she hadn’t . . . oh hell. A sob ripped through her chest. He loved her. This was his way of showing her. It was a horrible way, but it was something.

  “I love you, too. I don’t know how I’ll live without you,” she whispered as she fingered the key.

  After giving herself some time to settle down, she put the key in the zippered pocket of her wallet, dropped it into her purse, and checked her phone.

  Mom. Mom had called? She checked the time. Ten minutes ago.

  Holding her breath, she dialed her mother’s number. It rang once. Twice.

  A click.

  “Hello?”

  It was Mom? Mom!

  Michelle swallowed a sob. “Mom! You’re okay? Where are you?”

  “I’m at home, honey. Why? Where did you think I was?”

  What did she mean by that? “Mom, you called and there was a scream. The call cut off, and I thought... I thought something had happened.”

  “Nothing happened. What would happen? Honey, are you okay?”

  What the hell? “Yes. I’m fine.”

  “You said you were coming for a few days. Why did you change your plans?”

  This was so weird. It was as if nothing had happened, nothing at all. Had she jumped to the wrong conclusion? Had she let her imagination get the better of her?

  No. She’d received that call. About the photographs. It had to be what Tage had said, they’d abducted her but then released her, wiping out her memory somehow. And they’d done it quickly. That meant they must have watched Tage bring her home and knew he wouldn’t be returning.

  She checked the clock. It was after seven already.

  If she had left on time this morning, she would have been at her mom’s hours ago. It was getting late now. She wasn’t really in the frame of mind to drive for hours in the dark. And she was out of danger now. They both were. There was no reason to hurry.

  “I’ll leave tomorrow morning,” she said. “I have to run an errand first and then I’ll head out.”

  “Are you sure you’re all right?” Mom asked.

  “Yes, Mom. I’m fine. I . . . just had a few surprises today. Unfortunately, I couldn’t get going like I’d planned.”

  “All right. I’ll see you tomorrow, then. Please call me when you set off, so I know when to expect you.”

  “I will. I’m sorry I was held up for a day.”

  “That’s okay. I’m just glad I’ll see you tomorrow. Drive carefully.”

  “You know I always do. Love you, Mom,” she said before saying good-bye and hanging up. Then she headed for her bedroom.

  What a crazy day. So full of twists and turns she felt as if she’d been riding on the world’s worst roller coaster.
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br />   Or lived the most bizarre nightmare of her life.

  Tomorrow, she hoped, would be more normal.

  More normal, except for the huge hole in her heart. The one she suspected would never heal.

  “What are you doing here? You let her go. That was your choice.” In the passenger seat of Talen’s loaded-up Range Rover, Malek gave Talen an impatient glare. “We need to get going.”

  “I know.” Talen’s fingers tightened around the steering wheel. He shouldn’t be here. He knew that. It was dangerous. Stupid. Pathetic, too. But he couldn’t help himself. He wanted to see her one last time. Just once more. “Give me five more minutes.”

  Malek’s sigh could be heard in Utah. “We’re wasting time.”

  “I know. Just one more minute.” Talen squinted at her window. There. That shadow. Was that her? His heart jerked.

  “We’ve been here long enough. The girls are ready. Drako’s waiting.” Malek gave Talen’s shoulder a shake. “Talen, we have to go.”

  “Fuck.” Talen dropped his head until his forehead struck the steering wheel. Malek didn’t understand. He had the woman he loved. He didn’t know what it was like losing the biggest, best part of his soul.

  “Look, I know what you’re going through. Been there.”

  “No, you haven’t. You married her. You married Lei.” Talen closed his eyes. At least then he could see her. That sweet face, those eyes.

  “Did you forget the hell I went through before Lei agreed to marry me?”

  “Maybe I did. Because I don’t recall you leaving her behind. When it came time to move, she was on board. She was yours.” Unable to sit for another fucking second, Talen got out of the truck and ambled down the sidewalk, toward Michelle’s apartment.

  Malek followed him. “Yeah, well, there was a time when I was sure I would be losing her forever. And it hurt like hell. Worse than hell.”

  Talen didn’t respond. His guts were being crushed and wrung and ripped. Since he had left last night, he’d been in agony. It was wrong, living without her. Nothing felt like it should. But still he knew she would be better off without him and without all the danger that came with him.

  “This was your choice, Talen,” his brother reminded him as he stopped next to a tree. “Nobody told you what to do.” Malek’s phone rang. “It’s Drako,” he said. “He’s probably wondering where the hell we are.” His fingers tapped out a message as he spoke. “We don’t want him thinking the Chimera got us. And we don’t want him and the girls sitting around, waiting, targets.”

  “Yeah, I get it.”

  Malek shook his shoulder. “Come on. Are you going to take the other one? What was her name?”

  “No. She’s Chimera,” he said, staring down at the lumpy ground at the base of the tree. “She has to be.”

  “They found us in a hurry this time. We’d better go.”

  That much was true. They hadn’t been in southern Ohio for long at all. That was part of the reason why he’d made the decision he had about Michelle. If they weren’t able to shake the Chimera this time, their lives could become very different. What little peace they had known might be lost for good. That was not what he wanted for her, or their child.

  “Come on, bro. You love her too much to make her go through hell with us. I get that. Sometimes I wish I’d been strong enough to do the same for Lei. And sometimes I think her problems having a child might have been for the best. If I divorce her . . .” Malek visibly swallowed. “Then she wouldn’t have to be afraid anymore. You know what I mean?”

  Understanding exactly what Malek was thinking, Talen nodded. “Yeah. It’s tough.” He turned, gazing at her window again. “I want Michelle. I want her more than anything. But it wouldn’t be right.”

  “We weren’t prepared for this. We should have been. But we weren’t.” Malek jerked his head toward the truck. “Come on. It’s time to go.”

  Talen turned and took a couple of steps toward the Range Rover before swiveling to steal a glance over his shoulder.

  There she was.

  It was her. His Michelle. Strolling to her car as if she hadn’t a care in the world.

  As it should be.

  26

  Sprint Fitness.

  Women’s locker room.

  Locker number 105.

  She pushed the key into the lock and twisted. Inside she found a duffel bag. There was a tag. Feeling a little unsure if she was doing something wrong, she checked the tag.

  Michelle Linsey.

  Okay. He’d made sure she would know this bag was intended for her. She pulled it out, and, leaving the key in the lock, headed out to her car. The minute she was locked in her car, she unzipped the bag. Inside she found several large plastic bags full of cash and a white envelope. Stuffing the cash back in the bag, she left the envelope out, then zipped the bag back up and started her car.

  Her hands were trembling.

  She had no idea how much money was in that bag. She’d never seen so much cash in one place. Just from that one glance, she’d noticed that there were bills of different denominations. Fifties. Twenties. Hundreds. There was no way to know how much money was actually there until she sat down and counted it.

  It would take a while. As curious as she was, she didn’t want to take the time now. But it was terrifying, driving around with so much cash.

  Should she hide it somewhere? Take it back to the gym and lock it up where it would be safe?

  A tremor quaked through her as the reality of what she had in her possession hit her.

  That was a lot of money—cash meant to provide for her baby. Cash that meant the difference between them struggling to make ends meet and living a comfortable life.

  She needed that money. Desperately.

  And she had Talen Gryffon to thank for it. Talen. That was his real name. She would use that name from this point on. Talen Gryffon.

  But driving around with it, that was foolish. What if she stopped somewhere to go to the bathroom and someone broke into her car? She needed to put it somewhere safe.

  A bank was the safest place she could think of.

  She turned her car back on the road, but headed in the opposite direction. As she drove, she checked the clock. Her bank would be open by the time she got there. She’d get a bank deposit box, put the bag in there, and then rest easy knowing it was safe.

  As she drove the rest of the way, all she could do was silently thank Talen for thinking of her and their child, of wanting to make sure they wouldn’t struggle for the rest of their lives.

  And for loving her so much he let her go.

  That was the kind of love she’d always dreamed of. Selfless love. Giving love. Little had she known how painful that kind of love could be.

  Her stop at the bank went over without a hitch. And once she knew her money was safe, it was easier for her to relax and enjoy the drive out to her mother’s place. It wasn’t a long trip, just lengthy enough for her to do a little reflecting. But not long enough for her to mentally prepare herself to give her mom the shocking news, that she was pregnant and unmarried. Her mother would be devastated.

  Thus, her reunion with her mother wasn’t as joyful as she’d hoped. The woman was extremely astute. She sensed something was wrong from the moment she laid eyes on Michelle.

  “What is it?” her mother asked, after giving Michelle a big, squeezy hug. “What’s wrong?”

  Something inside Michelle snapped. A sob ripped up her throat. Clinging to the one human being she knew she could count on, she let all her tears of frustration and loss and terror go.

  Her mother gently pulled her into the house and held her until all her tears had dried up and there was nothing left. “Is it a man?” her mom asked as she handed Michelle a tissue.

  Michelle dabbed at her soggy, swollen face and nodded. “Yes.”

  “Love hurts,” her mother said.

  “Yes, it does. More than I ever imagined.”

  “Where is he?” Mom asked, handing her another tissue.


  “I don’t know. Gone.”

  “He’ll come back.”

  “No. That won’t happen. He can’t come back. It’s all so complicated.”

  “If he loves you, as much as you love him, he will. Nothing else will matter. He won’t be able to stay away.”

  “This is different.” Michelle’s insides twisted. “It’s because he loves me that he won’t come back.”

  “We’ll see about that.” Her mom’s gaze searched her face as she smoothed Michelle’s flyaway hair back from her face. “We’ll just see about that.”

  “Mom, there’s more.” Michelle swallowed hard, knowing she was about to break her mother’s heart. How many times had her mom told her she didn’t want to ever see Michelle struggle to raise a child by herself? How many times had she warned her not to get herself into that position? “I . . . I . . .” She couldn’t do it. She couldn’t say the words. A tear seeped from the corner of her eye.

  Her mother pulled Michelle into her arms again and kissed the top of her head. “He’ll be back if he’s worth anything.”

  Hours passed. No Talen.

  Michelle tried not to let her heartache ruin her time with her mother. But it was difficult. She didn’t have a lot to say. She couldn’t enjoy the things she used to, like walks down dirt country roads, or watching her mother’s favorite television shows with her. Or even eating.

  Days passed. Still no Talen, not that she expected him. He had no idea where she was, where her mother lived.

  The more time went by, the more Michelle came to accept that she would never see Talen again. But even though she accepted it, the pain still gnawed at her. By the time her final day with her mother had arrived, Michelle had found a small measure of peace. She would carry on alone. She would make a happy home for her child. A nurturing family. And she would do it here, with her mother. She’d find a job and move. Any job. This was the kind of environment she wanted her child to grow up in. Safe. Beautiful. Full of nature and clean air and dirt and space to run.

  This was her past. And it would be her future, too.