The Witch's Diary

by Rebecca Brae

  The horses are beautiful, but dauntingly huge. Ebony is as black as the storm ravaged sky on Mother’s moors, and Snowball is pure white. Their hooves must be as big as my head. Possibly bigger. I didn’t stop to measure. Despite their size, they appear gentle. I saw Snowball kneel down to help Kamal climb onto his back.

  The Spider Siblings also perform acrobatic feats while swinging from long white sheets tied to support poles at the pinnacle of the big top (probably where their name came from). It sounds like a dangerous endeavour. Asena described it as dancing in air. I can’t wait to see them in action.

  I had a good chat with Sam at the bonfire about the carnival’s animal companions. Apart from the ones I’ve mentioned, there are a wide variety of creatures on or near Kamal at all times. This sun I saw him playing with a mouse, a squirrel, a bumblebee, a grasshopper, a family of brown songbirds, an opossum, and a wirehaired dog the size of a pony. I’m beginning to suspect he is a druid. Untrained, no doubt, but he shows definite talent in the animalia discipline.

  Sam explained that most of those animals are only around for as long as they are in one location, but a few (like a raven they call Monkey) opt to stay longer. I briefly met that cheeky thief last sun when he pecked a glass bead off my spell component pouch and flew away. When I mentioned the incident, Sam jogged to his motorhome and came back with my bead. Apparently, Monkey spends his suns pilfering items from one person and giving them to another. Anything unclaimed in the general exchange of items before the eventide meal (a ritual that suddenly makes more sense) is put in a Lost and Found box. I’ll have to remember to check it regularly. I’m sure that bead isn’t the last thing Monkey will fly off with.

  I also found out that Sam has a policy prohibiting wild animals from joining the carnival. Domesticated species are allowed, along with animals that have been abandoned, or injured, or those that refuse to leave . . . the accepted categories increased the more he thought about it. Policy enforcement appears to only go as far as his soft heart allows.

  He admitted to having reservations about an armadillo. I explained that, although wild in every sense of the word, Herman stays with me by choice. Sam seemed to accept that. He’s also fine with Bob’s bunny. I even caught him cuddling the little fuzzball.

  On the way to my tent, I ran into another of their long-running residents—Old One-eye. Asena warned me about him, but to be honest I was having trouble keeping my eyes open and wasn’t paying attention. He is the scruffiest, meanest-looking orange cat I’ve ever met. Kamal is the only person he allows near. I accidently passed too close to his hiding spot on my sleepy trek and now my robe is shredded on one side. I suppose the encounter at least woke me up enough to make it to my cot and write up my sun. Tough old thing has moxy. I like him. I appreciate knowing where I stand . . . which I will make sure in future is out of claw range.

  Between Sam the wizard and Kamal the untrained druid, there are shades of the fiasco on the moors here. I must tread carefully. So far, Sam and Kamal are more easygoing than Mother and Crone. Maybe all wizards and druids aren’t so capricious.

  Sam asked me to think about what renovations I want done on my joint. I believe he meant in a non-magickal sense, so I’ll have to spend some time experimenting. Until I figure out how much I can do with muzzled illusion spells and makeshift potions, I won’t know how heavily I need to rely on props. The thought of using physical aids (wizard-made, to boot) makes my skin crawl, but what other option is there in a null zone?

  ADDENDUM: Every time I try to explain where I’m from or talk specifics about magick or spells, I choke. Literally. The words lodge in my throat like a log dam and I can do nothing but cough until the feeling passes. Everyone keeps offering me these disgusting sweet pellets. They must be some kind of throat remedy, but all I can say is YUCK! I’d take a nettle and kantaric saliva brew over that any sun.

  Pandias, Nettle Moon 6, 209

  KARNEVAL ŽIVOTA IS on the move or doing a “jump” as they call it (there’s no actual jumping . . . Outerplane terms are confusing). I’m traveling in Asena’s motorhome. She asked if I wanted to go with her, which I thought was very sweet.

  So far, it has been slightly less terrifying than my first trip with Sam. I’m hiding out in the back, trying to ignore the fact that we’re moving by reading, writing, and chatting with Asena. She does far less weaving around other transportation devices (vehicles) than Sam did. The few times I dared to part the curtains and peek outside, I also noted that she travels at a reduced speed. I wouldn’t go so far as to call it a reasonable speed, but any amount of slower is better.

  How they direct these vehicles is most bizarre. There is a small wheel inside the front compartment that the operator turns. It is similar in design to the four wheels a wagon travels on. At first, I assumed the interior wheel dictated speed, in that the faster you turned it, the faster the four padded outside wheels turned, but no. There are pedals on the floor for that. The wheel at the front changes the direction of the vehicle. Wizards!

  I noticed the behemoth dog from last sun sitting in Sam’s truck with Kamal before we left. Asena said she heard someone say its name was Jim Dandy. Apparently, when an animal acquires a name it’s a sure sign they’re staying on. The carnival has picked up another companion.

  Herman reluctantly agreed to travel with me. He’s been having a great time with Kamal and I suspect he wanted to ride with him. Normally I’d be fine with that, but I need him here to keep an eye on Bob’s bunny. It has an even worse propensity to gnaw on things than Herman did when we first met, and I don’t want Asena’s home damaged. My knowledge of bunnies is limited, but I expect that it’s just keeping its teeth sharp.

  I crated Bob (in the interplanar luggage crate) and he’s travelling in the back of Sam’s truck. The bunny is small and I was afraid it would get hurt if their vehicle took a sharp turn, as Sam frequently does. Bob accidently falling on it would not end well for anyone. Poor guy would be devastated.

  Herman is taking everything with surprisingly good humour. I’ve never seen him this cooperative or happy. He must like it here. I wonder if he never told me where he’s from because he’s also subject to a gag order? Could it be that he’s pleased to be home?

  The only thing Herman isn’t too sure about is his role at the carnival. He’s my familiar and will continue in that capacity, but my co-workers keep trying to think up ways to include an armadillo in their acts. Most of their ideas have not sat well. Can’t say I blame him. I wouldn’t want to be dressed up as a clown or pulled out of a hat either.

  On a similar note, I’m trying to figure out my role. I’ve begun researching Outerplane magick and doing a bit of light experimentation. Asena has a collection of tomes on magick practices and rituals which she put at my disposal. She is the perfect traveling companion! I also asked Julie what spell she uses to soften her bones, but she insisted it was natural flexibility. I remain skeptical, but if she isn’t comfortable discussing magick with me, then that is her prerogative and I won’t pursue the matter. Should she ever want to talk, she knows I’m interested.

  To date, the only thing I’ve confirmed is that there is a huge learning curve. I should have paid more attention in my Interplanar Principals of Magick course. Gathering power and casting spells is astonishingly complicated here.

  Asena has tomes upon tomes outlining rituals, tools, and components. And she called her collection modest. She promised to bring me to a library (a place that stores massive collections—Magda would be ecstatic) when we reach our destination, but I think my brain might be on fire by then.

  The passage I just read said all spellwork must be recited in rhyme, something I do not excel at, and requires specially prepared ritual spaces. It also said you have to coordinate your spell with specific colours of candles, scents, and garb. And that’s not all. Depending on the spell, there may be only one time of sun or moon in which it will work. And instead of calling the precise element you need, it sounds like you have to summon all of them
for each working (and carry physical representations for all of them in order to even cast the summoning). So, for example, on my plane I would summon a fire elemental to instil passion in an attraction spell, but here I have to call elementals from all five domains and then entreat Fire to help. Perhaps the elementals pool all their energies to focus the effect of one? It’s a wonder anyone ever figured out how to do anything with magick. I hope some of these requirements can be bypassed or streamlined.

  The only magickal thing I’ve been able to do is make my broom hover . . . as long as there is no added weight. Not super useful, but at least it confirmed that some of my training and skills transfer to the Outerplane. I’m hoping to learn how local witches ply their craft so I can adapt my spells to work here and become more proficient at gathering power. I’d love to get my broom working properly and stop traveling in these wizard-cursed vehicles.

  Therein lies a peculiar problem. Most Outerplane witches are incognito. Asena relayed a brief history and referred me to a tome that covered it in more depth. Turns out my profession has been persecuted, on and off, since the beginning of Outerplane record keeping. Asena assured me the burnings, hangings, and drownings in this area happened long ago, but warned that some lingering bad feeling remained. More so on other landmasses.

  It’s all so strange and makes me want to be the witchiest witch the Outerplane has ever seen. Let the ignorant fools try to come for me. I’ll show them what crossing a witch brings. Being a witch should be a point of pride. Curses on anyone who tries to convince my Outerplane craft-mates otherwise. Our deep and abiding connection to the elements is something to celebrate and share. Not something to be hidden away and talked of in hushed tones.

  I expressed my feelings to Asena and she agreed. Her family, although they do not identify as witches, has long worked with magicks and been mistreated for their trouble. It sounds like her skills lay primarily in spirit communion, both with living souls and those who have crossed to Underworld. She is an interesting person and I foresee us becoming friends. I wish I could introduce her to Magda. They would be best friends in no time.

  Given the current attitude toward witches, I asked if we were likely to encounter trouble. Asena said religious groups occasionally protest the carnival, but usually in a non-violent fashion. When they show up, everyone gets together and decides whether to stay or move on to the next location. They’ve become proficient at dealing with fear and bias, which is perhaps the saddest thing I’ve ever heard.

  I didn’t truly appreciate how rare my new co-workers were until she explained why most of them joined Karneval Života. They have been, and still are, treated terribly by people, including their supposed loved ones. Being different here is apparently bad.

  I don’t get it. On a world littered with humans (boring!), why would they penalize those few individuals who are unique and interesting? Jealousy, I guess. It is a travesty that such a petty emotion causes so much pain and strife.

  She didn’t detail everyone’s journey, saying some stories were not hers to tell. The gist of it was that they banded together to survive and make a new family that celebrated differences and encouraged unusual talents. Some members, Asena gave me a quick smile when she said this, came and went from season to season, staying however long they needed to heal or rest. She has been with the carnival for five season cycles.

  The family they created is wonderful. Everyone pitches in. Everyone looks out for each other. She said if I needed anything, it was safe to go to any of them. They’d support me in any way they could. The only thing they ask in return is that I help them out when and where I can.

  We spoke in general terms about carnival operations. Their future looks dire right now with coin being so tight, but she assured me everyone was staying positive and that I should, too. I asked what had happened and she said changeable weather always made their early season a gamble. The rain and cold this season hit their open-air midway attractions hard. Attendance was low and they had to drop their ticket prices. If things didn’t pick up, there might not be enough coin to cover their next loan instalment. She was reluctant to say what the consequences of that were. I understood why after coaxing her into explaining that their equipment, homes, and vehicles could be seized and sold. She would say no more, but I know what would follow. Their family would split up as everyone took whatever jobs and shelter were available. Don’t I know that scenario all too well!

  These are good people. As long as Magda is okay, I intend to stay on until the end of the season. Swollen scum pods, do I ever miss the immediacy of being able to scry!

  I am more committed than ever to transforming the House of Horrors into the most creepifying attraction anyone on the Outerplane has experienced. It’s not just a point of pride. I want word of our terrifying prowess to spread like fire across a dry field. I want customers to flock from far and wide. Most of all, I want to see my new friends smile and know that they can stay together and be safe.

  Enough writing. I must get back to my magick research.

  ADDENDUM: I figured out what is going on with the choking. During my last fit, I suddenly twigged to something Althea complained about after her Outerplane vacation (one of the many things she griped about while stuck to the kitchen table). I went through the stack of parchments I signed for the interplanar port officials and found an Infernal gag order. I can’t share any magick theories, rituals, or particulars that aren’t public knowledge here. I’m also barred from telling anyone I’m from another plane. It’s going to be awkward if someone tells me where they’re from and all I can do in return is cough in their face. Bloody Infernals! Given the eclectic and welcoming nature of my co-workers, I suspect not much would faze them. A witch from another plane seems less strange to me than a woman who can walk upright one minute and then fold herself into a box barely the size of my bottom the next.

  Soldias, Nettle Moon 7, 209

  MAGDA IS A rare and beautiful gem. She sent me the best letter I’ve ever received. It’s amazing the power words hold. My heart is singing. I’m going to keep the letter in here so I can re-read it when I feel down.

  Knowing that she believes in me so completely is amazing and just the encouragement I need to push forward researching the ridiculously complicated Outerplane magick systems. Friends are so vital. Magda has rescued me from myself more times than I can count. I’m not sure where I would be without her unfailing support.

  My co-workers thought something terrible had happened when they heard me crying and everyone came by to comfort me. They really are sweet. I hope Magda is right and I can find a way to help them.

  Despite Magda’s assurance that she is fine, I’m still worried and will continue to send letters every other sun. I’m not sure how to follow hers up though. I guess I’ll just tell her how much she means to me and how much I cherish her thoughtful words.

  DEAR HESTER, MY best friend and Moon Sister,

  First off, because I know you are worrying up a storm, things are going okay here. I went to work and picked up where I left off, only I did it better this time. No mistakes. As far as the grief I got from some of my co-workers, at least I know who I can count on now. I’m going to keep the witches who stood by me close, and when I get that promotion, I’ll make sure the bosses know how wonderful they are. I still don’t know if this is what I’m supposed to be doing, but I do so love parts of it. Time will tell if the good bits outweigh the sucky bits.

  I am so sorry to hear that things haven’t gone as expected for you, but you are a master at adapting and shaping unconventional situations into something workable. You’ve got this.

  When I think of you, I think of a river. Calm at times, effortlessly passing through the world and bringing life to all those you touch. But I’ve also seen you be fierce and powerful, carving a new path through seemingly immovable mountains, sweeping obstacles away with your steadfast determination. You make mistakes, as we all do, but you always pick yourself up and fly on. Witches are supposed to be forces of
nature and you embody this principle down to your core. Nothing can stop you once you commit. Nothing!

  You said you don’t understand why I’m your friend. Well, I’ll tell you. It’s because you are amazing. Nobody is more loyal. When I cry, you lie down and share my tears. And when I’m ready to smile again, you help me rebuild my dreams. You have been my conscience when I didn’t know which way to turn, my confidant when I didn’t know who to trust, and my drinking buddy when I just needed to forget it all. You are a flame in the night for many people, Hester. You just need to learn how to trust your own light.

  You’ve always thrived in adversity. You crave challenge. Even in school, you were never satisfied doing things the tried-and-true way. You were always experimenting, pushing the limits, exploring new territory. You might not have found the perfect job yet, but I know you will. And maybe in your lifetime there will be more than one perfect job. There’s nothing wrong with that.

  You don’t shy away from anything. You fly straight at your fears and problems until you find a way to make them work for you. When you see something you don’t like, you fix it, regardless of the personal cost. And the times you’ve had to walk away, you hold those experiences close so you can learn from them, even when doing so costs your heart terrible pain, as with Justin. You are the very best of everything a witch and best friend should be. If anyone can find a way to help the carnival, you can. Harness your wonderfully creative problem solving skills. They will not lead you astray.

  I know, I know. You are thinking . . . “but they have in the past.” To which I would reply, “Have they? Or have they drawn you down this path, placing you right where you are at this moment?” I believe you are uniquely qualified to help your new friends find their way. Trust your light.