Breaking Free: The Broken Hearts Club

by Michele Barlow

  Toby was determined to build a life with Alton and thought investing in their salon was better than presenting a ring.

  Luna thought it was a pretty big gesture and she couldn’t fault Toby for throwing all his chips in. She could see the look in Toby’s eye when he was watching Alton at work. It was the look that Al had told her that she deserved from a man.

  It took her ex-husband’s new boyfriend to get her to understand that there is a difference between love and absolute adoration, devotion, and desire. She wanted that for herself, she just didn’t know how to get it.

  Taking a cleansing breath, and counting to ten, she stepped back to Miss Mildred and gave the woman’s hair a final coat of extra-hold hair spray. She knew that as soon as she got home, Mildred would wrap her hair in toilet paper before she went to bed.

  Miss Mildred had a rigorous beauty routine, which also involved washing her face with Ivory soap and then slathering it with Vaseline. Any normal person doing that would probably become unrecognizable between the drying and oiling of their face. However, Mildred had skin like a newborn baby and was sweet as one too.

  “All done. You look fabulous, and I’ll see you same time next week!”

  “Oh, you always do such a nice job. You need to find a nice man to settle down with so you can get off your feet. You know, women shouldn’t be on their feet all day. It wears on your joints.”

  “Oh Mildred, you know that this is my dream job. I wouldn’t want to be doing anything else.” Luna said that part with confidence. She did want to be working and running her own shop. She loved changing people’s styles and making sure they walked out feeling great about themselves.

  “You should find a nice boy like Alton here. He’s so sweet,” Mildred, said pointing at Al.

  Al didn’t help at all when he wiggled his eyebrows at her. Luna never saw a good reason to explain her life to strangers or customers. So she just smiled and leaned down to whisper. “He’s taken.”

  “Oh, that’s a shame. Well, there are some nice boys at my church. You should come with me some time. I’ll introduce you around. There has to be at least one that will do for you.”

  “I’ll keep that in mind.”

  Alton went back to his area and Luna escorted Mildred out. Her next appointment was waiting and she shook off the sweet little old woman’s words and focused on being the best hairdresser she could be. She couldn’t control everything in her life, but she could control her work. It had been a lifeline pulling her out of the pit of depression she’d been in for far too long.

  Checking her phone, she only found two texts. One from her girlfriend Waverly and one from Alton’s sister telling her she was a pathetic excuse for a woman. She shot off a message to Waverly and marked the one from Alton’s sister as read.

  She had other things to worry about, like her next appointment.

  Chapter 3

  “Dinner delivery!”

  Luna was sweeping up around her chair from her last client. She had stayed after her regular hours to accommodate a single mom that worked full-time and couldn’t get off for a haircut. Her twin boys had been racing around the salon and, luckily, not doing too much damage. Thankfully, Alton had decided to stay and help out. He spent the first half of the appointment having the little terrors build shampoo bottle pyramids.

  Once her appointment left, all she wanted to do was head home to her cute little house on her cute little street, make a cup of tea, and sit on the front porch swing that she had installed. Al had offered to do it, but she had been trying to not rely on him so much. She found a pleasant handyman service that would do anything from change a lightbulb to spread mulch in your garden.

  When the doorbell chimed she was surprised only at the lateness, not that the fact it was Toby carrying bags in both hands.

  “I hope you brought enough to share with the whole class,” Luna chimed. Her relationship with Toby was warming. He treated Alton so well that she had a hard time thinking of him as a ‘man-stealing whore’ like she used to. Her therapist said that wasn’t constructive so she kept calling him that to herself if not in her sessions.

  “Of course, I did. What kind of host do you think I am?” Toby said, winking at her and putting the bags on the counter.

  “I know what kind of host you are. There were raspberries floating in our New Year’s champagne. I was so determined to get the fruit that I tipped the glass all the way back, the berries hit my nose and splashed champagne in my eye. That shit burns, you know! So, in reality, you’re a host that likes to create diabolic situations to confuse and befuddle your guests.”

  Toby started laughing. “You make me sound like Dr. Evil.”

  “Dr. Evil, with good taste,” Alton corrected.

  “Hey there, handsome. You hungry?”

  “Depends on what you brought,” Alton parried.

  “Ohh, say it’s Jimmy John’s,” Luna said gleefully. Alton’s tastes had changed since he had met Toby, not that she blamed him. She and Al had been more Betty Crocker-style home cooks than anything else. The range of their cuisine was a recipe from a book or something microwavable. However, Toby liked to eat well, and Luna got to partake in some of that good eating.

  “It’s not Jimmy John’s, young lady. It’s from Pierre’s and you are going to love it!”

  “Eww, French food?” Luna wasn’t about to eat snails.

  “Better, it’s Creole. Jambalaya, shrimp etouffee, and some sweet tea to wash it down.”

  “That doesn’t sound bad at all.” Luna wasn’t going to turn down real food. She had left over spaghetti at home that she had been eating for two days. It was losing its appeal.

  Toby pulled out the food and arranged it on the reception counter. Luna turned off the open sign and pulled the sunshades down over the front windows. Toby handed out plates and arranged their drinks on the coffee table between the reception chairs. Toby liked things a certain way and everything took twice as long if he spent it fixing what you had done, so Luna had learned not to offer to help.

  “So, Alton, did you ask her?” Toby asked after they had all started eating.

  Alton looked up from his plate. “Uh, no? It’s been busy today.”

  “Chicken shit,” Toby scolded.

  “Ask me what?” Luna didn’t like secrets. Being out of the loop on things gave her anxiety a reason to rear up and cause chaos. Her therapist said it was a reasonable response, but that she needed to learn to trust that everyone wasn’t talking behind her back or keeping things from her on purpose. The problem with that was that people were often doing both of those things.

  “Toby is poking his nose into other people’s business... it’s shocking, I know,” Alton said trying to sound annoyed but his tone came off sounding proud instead.

  “Is there something wrong with the shop? We’re doing well, and I know we’re on track to pay back your investment on time.” Luna was starting to panic; she could feel her heart starting to pound.

  “Stop freaking her out, Alton. Look at her! Just breathe, Luna. It’s not about the shop; everything is great. Nothing is changing with that. I was just talking to Alton saying it might be time for you to maybe… go out on a date.”

  Luna took a few deep breaths to calm her racing heart. Then she realized what he had said. Dating?

  “Are you high? Me? Dating?”

  “Yes, you. You remember dating, don’t you?” Alton asked.

  “No, not really.” Luna really couldn’t remember dating. She’d known Al since they were in high school together. They had always been together.

  “Who did you date before Alton?”

  “Uh, no one. Oh, wait there was that one guy I went to homecoming with. And that was only because Al had to take his cousin.”

  “Oh yeah! Rodney Glass, I remember him. He borrowed his dad’s tux and it was a bell bottomed affair,” Alton said gleefully.

  “He had such horrible breath too,” Luna said, cringing.

  “Okay, let’s look at this as an opport
unity! You haven’t developed any bad dating habits for us to overcome,” Toby declared.

  Luna couldn’t help but snort. She would call some of her dating habits bad. Dating a gay man might be number one on the list of things not to do.

  “Why are we even talking about dating? I’m pretty happy with my life right now. I have the shop; I have some really amazing friends. Color me happy!”

  “You aren’t happy, you are existing. You deserve bliss and we are going to help you find it. I already have the perfect person for you,” Toby stated.

  “Toby, since when do you get a vote?” Luna liked him, but this was too much.

  “I get a vote because not long after I fell in love with Alton, I fell in love with you. You are too lovable and it’s your own fault. So I want to see you happy and I’ve made it my mission. So I think you should go out with Ford.”

  “I’m sorry, Ford? Like the truck?”

  “No, Ford like a friend I know from the gym,” Toby said, rolling his eyes dramatically.

  “Hah! And is he all muscle and no brains?”

  “He works out, and has some impressive muscles... not that I was looking,” Toby confirmed pointedly at Alton.

  “Pfft, like I’m the jealous sort,” Alton said.

  “And what do you think a muscle head guy would want with a chubby girl like me?”

  “You are NOT chubby!” Both men screeched at her at the same time.

  “Okay, maybe I’m not morbidly obese, but I’m not the girl I used to be. I’m thirty-three and have been eating my feelings for the last few years. No offense, Al.”

  “I’m sorry about that, but honestly I think you look a little better with some meat on your bones.”

  Since the breakup, or PA, (‘post Al’ she dubbed it), she had embraced the bright colorful world of high fat foods. She also appreciated that food could easily be purchased and received in the window of her car. She had put on a few pounds and it was the one thing her therapist said to worry about later. It wasn’t healthy in the long run, but she was fighting bigger demons right now. With a few extra pounds here and there, her trim figure had rounded out to the point that she had developed rounded thighs which she had never known she had before.

  That was when Al had stepped in again, showed her how to dress to accentuate her new figure, and she decided to roll with it. That was all good when she was the only person seeing her naked; but dating could lead to sex, and sex generally happened without clothes. She wasn’t ready for any of that.

  “I don’t mind how I look now; it’s just having to let someone else see me. That is not in my realm of coping skills right now.”

  “Ford is an amazing guy. He’s a firefighter and is an all around great guy. Model citizen, and I think he’d love to meet you.”

  “Hah! Too bad for you, Toby. After he meets me he’s not going to spot you at the gym anymore.”

  “How dare you say that about my friend! Besides, a date is just a date. It could be a nice ‘get to know you.’ Help you dip your foot back into the water. Why not try it? What’s the worst that could happen?”

  “I humiliate myself somehow and die alone in utter shame and misery?”

  “Dramatic much?” Toby said with a snort.

  “Really, I’d have to medicate myself into oblivion just to get to meet him. I’m just not there yet.”

  “You never will be until you get back in the game,” Alton said softly.

  “I never was in the game, Alton. I used you as a default,” she said with a sigh. It was a recent revelation during therapy. For a while, she had thought about quitting, but even two years in, she was still not always honest with herself, but Luna also knew that she wouldn’t be where she was today without her sounding board.

  “No matter what, it doesn’t change the fact you should meet this guy. Let us set you up.” Alton was a little too excited by this idea, which made Luna worried and nervous.

  “How about we all just keep going on with our lives like we always have?” Luna thought that was a much more reasonable idea. Work, sleep, and eat yummy things.

  “If we let that happen you will settle into a life that revolves around settling.” Alton reached over and grabbed her hand.

  Luna didn’t answer that because it was too close to being true. She no longer had any big aspirations for her life. Opening the salon was as big as she had thought and she had accomplished it. Why push for something else and risk failing?

  Chapter 4

  Alton and Toby hadn’t pressed their agenda after dinner. They changed subjects and started talking about their upcoming vacation. They were going on a cruise for a week. Luna didn’t think that going on a cruise sounded like that much fun. Not that she’d ever been on a boat before. The buffet didn’t sound bad, and she heard about the all you can drink packages so you could enjoy an endless supply of adult beverages.

  She’d gone home and laid down on her couch to watch her recorded shows. Her shop was open Monday through Friday with alternating Saturdays so she could get a few days off in a row. She didn’t mind the work because it was something she loved, and to tell the truth, there wasn’t much she did on her days off besides clean her house. It wasn’t that big, so it left her with idle hands much of the time

  Her phone had buzzed a few times and she ignored it. They were probably messages from Alton’s family anyway. Their reminders that she was the cause of their family’s ruin and shame had trailed off over the past year. Not getting a response from her probably made the effort not as fun. But every once in a while she would get a text, voicemail, or random letter to remind her they still didn’t like her. Her friends and her therapist all told her to block them, to stop giving them a voice. They were right. But she didn’t. She felt it was like a penance to take their venom and soak it up. Luna didn’t want to retaliate; they were going after her and not Alton. They had cut him off entirely. He didn’t even know she was still in contact with them.

  Maybe she should take a cruise. A vacation just for herself? Did single people take vacations on their own? She must have read about someone that did it in a magazine a while ago. Luna was sure they had called this single vacationer ‘brave’ just for doing what everyone else does in pairs. It was insulting. Then again, she didn’t know if she was the type to go out and enjoy scenic tours and visits to museums without at least a friend to talk to about everything.

  Who was she kidding? A trip with unknown variables, all by herself, wasn’t who she was. She needed to know what was coming and when.

  Maybe she should get a fish, something that didn’t need constant attention and that she could leave for hours on end. Maybe a goldfish or two. She wouldn’t want the one goldfish to get lonely.

  Luna kept running over, and over in her mind the fact that Toby and Al wanted to set her up on a blind date. With a firefighter no less! The closest she was going to get to a date with a firefighter was if it was some kind of contest for charity. Then she might have a shot. Otherwise, her options were limited. She didn’t even think that was so bad. Clearly, she needed to be pickier in the future. Maybe not fussy, just more cautious. Less trusting. She had forgiven Alton for keeping his secret from her. She also acknowledged that he wasn’t being honest with himself, and for that, she felt bad for him.

  No, Luna needed to lay low. ‘Lay Low Luna’ was her new street name. It would be clear to anyone that came along that she wasn’t the one to step up or step out.

  “A fish sounds nice.”

  Luckily, it seemed like Alton and Toby had listened to her and left her to her comfortable and predictable existence. They hadn’t brought up her dating again and hadn’t brought up anyone named Ford.

  Ford the firefighter, it wasn’t even fair. It was like watching any reality show that baited singles against each other. The men were all unattainable and the women were all catty witches. Ford probably was on one of those shows. He probably won. He was probably was handsome and tanned. Or, maybe he was one of those firefighters that could eat a dozen do
nuts every day and still somehow rescue people from burning buildings. She’d seen some of those firefighters. Luna heard it was from the little old ladies bringing them baked goods to thank them for checking their blood pressures, but that was just an urban legend.

  Why she was thinking about this faceless firefighter was annoying, and made her feel less in control. Giving herself a mental shake, she looked into the mirror at her station and took in her appearance. It was important for her to look her best every day, especially her hair. Who would trust a hairstylist with bad hair?

  Her hair changed often, because why not? Right now, it was a dark auburn with purple highlights on the underside. It had been a bold choice but Alton assured her it was the best look for her. Her makeup was on point, warm eyes, a soft shade of lipstick and just the hint of bronzer. Her outfit was usually black of some sort, it kept her look professional. Plus, she was often wearing an apron when she was dying hair, so it didn’t matter what she had on underneath. Today she’d also decided to wear a pair of short-heeled mules that had a line of embroidery along the top. Her black blouse was off the shoulder and, on a whim; she’d added a choker made of velvet ribbon.

  “Hot date?” Larissa asked when she got in.

  “No, I just felt like not looking how I feel today. Fake it until you make it, right?”

  “I get that. Let me know if it works.”

  “Hah, ask me around lunch time.”

  Lunchtime rolled around and she was still feeling pretty good. Her hair looked great, she’d managed to have enough time to grab a sandwich, and her clients had all left happy with their hair swishing.

  Swishing was a sign of happiness. Any woman that left a salon running her hands through her hair, meant she was happy with her look and happy she didn’t have to do it for the next few days.

  Luna had just swiped on a line of lipgloss when Larissa came around the corner of her station.

  “Do you have time for a men’s drop-in?”

  Luna checked her phone and saw she had thirty minutes before her next appointment.