Hollowed (Half Light)

by Kelley York

  "I suggest you start by finding Briar's sister; if Joel is after her, then that's where you'll find him." Cole sighs. "Maverick said Joel might not be working alone. On top of the victims that have been cropping up, several others have gone missing. It's very possible Joel is making allies to protect himself."

  The idea makes me shudder, but I have no doubt Joel could find people who would jump all over the chance to become one of us. I think back to the girl on the roof and wonder if he would've turned her if I hadn't shown up. Would that have been better or worse than death?

  Then something dawns on me.

  "Cole...wait. There's something Joel said, that night on the roof..."

  Everyone's eyes settle on me. What were his exact words? Everything from that night was made fuzzy by the adrenaline and fear.

  "He said...something about a family. That he'd made one and it was growing."

  "Guess that answers that," Oliver mutters. "Then all the missing people aren't necessarily dead, just..."

  "Working for Joel. This could be a problem." Cole sighs. "Briar, do you know how to get into contact with Ruby?"

  "Not unless she calls me." Which I've been waiting for with no luck. "She didn't tell me where she was staying."

  Oliver says, "No leads, then. Are we supposed to run around blindly and hope something turns up?"

  Well, that seems to have worked so far, but... "I'll call Noah. He said he was going to check out my parents' house, so maybe he found something out from that." I know Oliver isn't keen on the idea of getting any help from a witch, but tough luck. While I don't underestimate Oliver's abilities, I have a hard time picturing him taking on Joel by himself. Especially if he has buddies now.

  "Fred will search with you. One more pair of eyes won't hurt."

  Even if Fred is stronger than me, he's still a young vampire. I worry at the thought of him out there looking alone, so I guess him coming with us is a good thing.

  Once Oliver's done grumbling, Cole orders us to get some rest. "You two ought to eat before we head out as well," Daniel says in the hall as we head for my room. "To ensure you are strong enough in case we have to fight."

  The idea of eating again makes my stomach turn. Oh, God, how can I possibly when I killed the last meal I had?

  Oliver sighs. "Yes, yes... When is the last time you fed, anyway?" he asks me.

  I stop outside my door, keeping my eyes on the ground. The wall. The card-key in my hands. Anywhere but them. "Not that long ago. I should be fine."

  "It won't kill you to eat again."

  No, I just might kill someone else. My hand trembles and I nearly drop the card. I swipe it down the lock and shove my way inside, feeling the strong urge to get as far away from Oliver as I can. He deserves to know what I did, but I can't bring myself to tell him. I told Fred, so why can't I spill it to the people who matter? "Yeah, sure."

  Before I can close the door, he braces a hand against it and leans in, frowning. "What's your problem?"

  "She has had a long couple of days, darling. Let us leave her to rest." Daniel looks past Oliver to me, meeting my eyes. "Unless there is something she wants to tell us."

  There's always something about him, something about the kindness and sincerity in his face that makes me want to tell him everything where, with Oliver, I'd sooner throw myself out the window than admit I made a mistake. A really, really big mistake.

  I bite my lower lip to keep it from trembling. What's the right answer? How do I fix what I've done?

  "I don't really feel like talking about it."

  Not now, not ever.

  Daniel looks away. Have I hurt his feelings? Oliver shakes his head but he pulls back. "Rest well."

  The silence resonates all around me. I feel so claustrophobic. The knowledge that I've taken a life, of having possibly lost my parents, Ruby's lies...it's building and building inside of me and leaving no room for anything else.

  Earlier I tucked the dead man's wallet away into my nightstand. Now I retrieve it, opening it up for the first time. Pulling his driver's license out and studying his picture, committing it to memory. Even if it haunts me for the rest of my life, even if what happened is an accident, I should think it's only fair I remember what he looks like.

  Hi name was John. Simple, just like the contents of his wallet. I wonder if people called him John, or Johnny. If he had a lot of friends. A job he enjoyed. He was only in his mid-twenties; maybe he was attending college.

  There are photos in the wallet. A pretty Hispanic girl with a nice smile that appears to be his girlfriend. A dog with a Frisbee dangling from its mouth. No kids. Thank God, no kids. I'm not sure I could live with myself if I killed someone's father. Boyfriend, husband, owner? That's bad enough.

  Looking at his pictures, I'm overcome with a sudden loneliness for my parents and Sherry. Mom and Dad only met Sherry a handful of times, but they adored her. Didn't everyone? She and Dad would get into drawn-out convos about the latest music trends, Sherry skipping from one to the next at light-speed while Dad struggled to keep up and retain the information.

  And every time either of them called and heard Sherry in the background, it was always, "Tell that girl to keep you out of trouble."

  Guess I didn't do a very good job of that.

  Tears prick the corners of my eyes. Noah liked Sherry, too. I wonder if he was sad to find out she died.

  I'm lonely for him. The anger inside of me flares up and quells again without warning. One second, I can't stand the thought of him, the way he ditched me when I needed him most. How Sherry might be alive if he had at least called me so we weren't waiting around late that night. How if he'd warned me about this—any of this—I would have been so much more careful.

  In the next instant, all I want is to hear him laugh, see him smile. To have him hold me and curl his fingers in my hair while he tells me everything will be okay.

  How do you love someone so much and hate them at the same time?

  Glancing at the hotel phone, I wonder what he would say if I called him, just to talk. He might not even answer. He might hang up on me. But I did tell the others I would call and ask him for any info he might have.

  Right now, I really miss the days where I didn't need a stupid excuse to call.

  Even with an excuse, I shuffle around the room with John's wallet in hand, occasionally stealing a glance at the phone. Once or twice, I pick it up to dial out and hang back up. Until, finally, I launch myself at it and punch in his number before I can give myself time to chicken out.

  On the second ring, Noah's groggy voice answers. "H'llo?"

  It's a tone I'm used to. How many times has he picked up the phone sounding just like this? It never mattered where in the country he was or what time it was, he always answered when he saw my number.

  Now I feel as unsure as I did the very first time I ever called him. The what if's running through my head: what if he doesn't want to talk to me? What if he's busy? What if he's with someone else? As I'm sitting there like an idiot, trying to coax my dry throat into cooperating, he says, "Briar?"

  The air whooshes out of my lungs. "How'd you know?"

  "The hotel name came up on the caller ID." He yawns. There's a shifting of fabric—sheets, blankets—and he sounds a little more alert. "What's going on? Is something wrong?"

  Yes, no, maybe? I don't know. Somehow saying I just wanted to hear your voice doesn't seem like the brightest idea. I'm feeling a little too happy that he knew it was me and answered anyway. "Oh, sure, yeah. I just...you know. I wanted to check in with you. See if maybe you'd heard or seen anything." Smooth, yeah. Real smooth.

  "You're a terrible liar. But for the record, no, I haven't found out much of anything." He sounds way too amused for my liking. So glad he can take pleasure in my discomfort. "The police have been all over your house, so I haven't been able to get inside and look around. Sounds like they're labeling it as arson, though. Neighborhood kids screwing around."

  I worry at my lower lip. "And my par
ents...?"

  Noah is silent a few seconds in the way that suggests he's piecing his words together carefully. "I haven't seen them. But...I haven't heard anything about any deaths, either."

  My initial reaction is to jump off the bed and dance around. My more logical reaction is to sit there, try to stamp down the hope burning in the back of my mind. I don't want to think about it either way. Not until I know for sure. I won't get my hopes up only to have them crushed, but I won't yet torture myself with the thought that I've lost them, either.

  Instead I sit there, silent, trying to level out my emotions so I don't sound like I'm ready to burst into tears when I speak.

  "Are you okay?"

  "Yeah." Breathe in, breathe out.

  "So, are you going to tell me the real reason you called?"

  Without thinking: "Nope."

  He chuckles. "Didn't think so."

  "Are you going to tell me why you answered?"

  "You could've been in trouble. Or crying. I'm not sure which is worse."

  I sink onto the bed and lay back, staring at John's picture again. "I think I've done enough of both to last me a lifetime. Figured I'd give you all a break." My lip is getting raw where I've been biting at it. "Cole is meeting up with Maverick tomorrow. Guess Joel's been working from his own agenda and causing all these problems."

  "Dangerous to go by himself, isn't it?"

  "He doesn't seem to think so. I have a feeling he'll be fine." I roll onto my side and set the wallet on the nightstand. "Oliver, Daniel, and I are gonna go look for Ruby."

  "If she had any intentions of letting you find her, she would have been found by now." His tone is icy. "Don't you think there's a reason she didn't let you know where she was staying?"

  "I don't know," I admit. "I figured she didn't trust Oliver and Cole and thought I would tell them."

  There's a pause where Noah seems to be debating if he should say anything. Surprisingly, instead of arguing: "If you say so."

  It's not like him to give up like that, but I'm kind of grateful that he does. Being able to talk to him so easily hasn't been...uh, well, easy as of late. I want to enjoy it while it lasts. "So...what are you doing tomorrow? Do you want to go with us?"

  "Wow. You had to have known that was a long shot."

  "I guess."

  "Then why bother asking? I work alone. As in, not with vampires."

  I snort. "Because I—whatever. Forget it. What's your beef with vampires, anyway? Did one run over your puppy when you were a kid?"

  "No. One killed my family."

  He says it so simply, but I can sense the tightness in his voice.

  I...really should learn to keep my mouth shut. I close my eyes, grimacing. "I'm sorry."

  "Yeah, well. It was a long time ago," he mutters. For as small of a deal as he's trying to brush it off as, it's obviously not given that he tried to kill me over it. "Didn't use to have an issue with them. But I've seen how drastically becoming a vampire changes someone. I've seen what they'll do for the pettiest of reasons. They killed the people most important to me." A pause. "Not my puppy, though. Wasn't allowed to have one."

  I'm caught between laughing and feeling guilty for wanting to. "Not all vampires, though..."

  "Maybe."

  Maybe? The word rings in my ears. A week ago, he would have laughed in my face and said ‘never.' Now it's a maybe? I struggle not to read too much into it.

  Besides, if he knew about John...

  A thought strikes me: do I need to tell him? Do I need to tell anyone? It was a mistake, that's all. Just a horrible mistake that I'll feel terrible for every second of the rest of my life, but it isn't one I will ever let myself repeat. So if it doesn't happen again, then...is it okay not to tell anyone? If it means keeping Noah, if it means not disappointing the boys? In this case, would ignorance be bliss—for them and for me?

  I don't know. Noah especially knows that I'm a terrible liar. Secrets gnaw at my insides like hungry wolves.

  "You went quiet. What's wrong?"

  "I miss you," I blurt. And yet I can't bring myself to regret it, because it feels good to tell the truth about something with so many lies being thrown around.

  Noah gives the quietest of sighs. Whether it's out of frustration or because he misses me, too, and doesn't want to admit it, I can't tell. "What brought that on?"

  "The sound of your voice." I flick off the bedside lamp, then curl up on my side with the phone cradled between my face and the pillow. Like this is any other night where Noah would call me from out of town and I'd stay up late to talk to him. Where I would keep my voice low, because Sherry was sleeping in her bed across the room. So much the same, and yet so different. "It makes me miss you. You and your bad jokes."

  "Hey, hey. My jokes? Awesome. Don't judge me."

  "And your face. I miss your stupid face." Because in that second, I can picture the exact expression he's wearing. The crease between his brows that I would run my finger over to smooth out, the slight pout on his lips I would kiss away.

  "Briar..."

  "Just...makes me miss you. That's all." I want to hear is that he misses me, too. That maybe, vampires and witches aside, he still looks at me and sees someone special. His Briar.

  After what feels like a hundred years of silence Noah says, "Your smile."

  "What?"

  "I miss...your smile. That stupid, crooked one you get when you're trying not to laugh at one of my awesome jokes."

  My lips twist up despite how my eyes are glassing over. "Then come see it. Come see me."

  This time, though, the silence isn't so much thoughtful as uncertain. "I...I should get going."

  No, no no no. For a few minutes, we were getting back on the right track. I don't want to hang up. Sure as hell don't want to let go this feeling that somehow, I still have a chance to prove to him things can be okay. "If we could just..."

  "I'll see you tomorrow, Briar. Maybe we'll run into each other looking for Ruby."

  I don't blink. A few stray tears escape from the corners of my eyes anyway.

  Almost had him. Lost him again.

  "Yeah, sure. Tomorrow."

  Silence. Unspoken words heavy on the static line between us. All the words I want to say, all the words I think he's holding back... He hangs up, and I murmur to nothing, "Goodnight, Noah."

  30. Sunday – 4:15pm

  My phone stays beside me all night, but Ruby never calls. Confusion has tipped over into worrying territory. How do I find her if she doesn't call? How do I even know she's still alive? While we were sleeping, Joel could have found her first.

  It's the last thing I think about when I doze off, and it's the first thing in my head when I wake up with Oliver pounding on my door. When I stumble over to answer it, his look is solemn and as tired as I feel. "Cole is already heading out. We need to get moving."

  Moving. Right. While we still have daylight. I hate that I've somehow slipped into sleeping all day and being active at night, though Cole had mentioned it's natural. Humans weren't really made to stay up nights and sleep when the sun is up, but something about being infected tweaks our internal clocks. Might have something to do with how sensitive we are to sunlight. It doesn't kill us, but it's kind of annoying and headache-inducing.

  Thankfully, today is still pretty overcast. I'm grateful for the cloud cover.

  Oliver is outside waiting when I'm ready to join him. The gun Noah gave me is tucked into my jeans, the spare bullets in my back pocket. I've tied my hair back to keep it out of the way and put on the most comfortable shoes, jeans, and shirt I can manage. Even if my attempt at practicality will likely be a miserable failure. I can't count the number of times I've come back to this hotel looking like I've spent the night mud-wrestling.

  "Fred should be here to meet us any minute now," Oliver says.

  "Where's Daniel?" I ask.

  He glances askance at me. Does the sun not drive his eyes nuts? I can't stop squinting and it's already giving me a headache. He doesn't
look like he's bothered at all. "He had something to take care of."

  Had something to take care of? When we're in the middle of something so important? Doesn't sound like him. Except—"You had him follow Cole, didn't you?"

  "Shut up." The guilty hunch of his shoulders is more than enough of an answer. I exhale through my mouth. Good. It's better that Cole isn't alone, and Daniel won't be as noticeable to Maverick as another vampire. Just in case things go wrong.

  I would ask more but Fred comes into view, crossing the parking lot and heading our direction. He spots us, lifting a hand in a wave. At least he's smart enough to be sporting sun glasses. Why didn't I think to pick up a pair?

  Despite the wave, as Fred drawers near, I can better see the frown on his face, the slight downturn of his mouth.

  "Ready to get this show on the road, kids?" he asks.

  Nevermind Oliver's easily twice our age. As I fall in step alongside Fred, he nudges me with an elbow. Maybe he sees the look on my face and mistakes it for concern because he asks, "Are you worried about your friend seeing Maverick?"

  I shake my head. "Nah. He can take care of himself. I'm more worried about us."

  "You should've asked that witch to come along. The one Joel said was with you at the cemetery. He would've been useful."

  "Yeah...no." I'm not going to tell him that I tried. "Maybe we'll run into him while we're looking, but Noah likes working alone. Have you heard from Joel or Alex?"

  Fred sighs. "I've been trying to reach them. It isn't like Alex to not call me back. I mean, she's fallen into the wrong company, but she's not a bad girl. Y'know?"

  "Sure, she's sugar and spice." When he glares at me, my mouth stretches into a smile. "I'll take your word for it." That seems to placate him and he looks straight ahead again.

  "Who knows, maybe Maverick already found Joel anyway," Fred says.

  Oliver steps up beside me and I squint. He isn't looking at us, but I can tell he's paying attention. "What makes you think that?"

  "We've been staying in this temporary housing place. I got back last night and he said he was going to step out for awhile, but he didn't come back." He shrugs.