Rock Bottom

by Manda Mellett

  “You okay to ride?”

  “Yeah, will need some stitches though.”

  Back at the clubhouse, being stabbed all over again, this time with needle and thread, I question my intelligence in signing up for this job. I’ve been hurt worse over the past few weeks than I have in the last few years with the Devils. Because you’re protecting your club. Drummer entrusted that task to you.

  But even the pride of knowing I hold the trust of my prez doesn’t bring me any relief. The pain of my wound being sewn up pales in comparison to the mental anguish I feel knowing how much Blade and Beef hate me. I’d known what to anticipate, of course, but seeing the men I still call my brothers demonstrate the depth of their hostility toward me is far worse than the gash in my gut. If I hadn’t known of Blade’s quick reflexes I would currently be bleeding out, dying a painful death. In their minds, I’d deserve it.

  After suffering through the ministrations, I grab a bottle of Jack and take myself off to my bed.

  Self-medicated, I sleep through the night and don’t rouse until early afternoon when I’m woken by a commotion and a woman’s voice screaming. At first I pull a pillow over my head. But the screaming gets louder, and although it’s muffled, there’s something about the tone that jerks me fully awake. I know that voice.

  It can’t be. Why the fuck would she be here? Would Drummer have sent her? No, no way. She’s a troublemaker. If he needed to get a message to me he’d use a burner phone. Or he’d send Allie—Squirt’s seen her before and thinks she’s my fuck buddy.

  With a feeling of dread, I pull myself up, wincing at the pain in my stomach which seems to have stiffened while I’d been sleeping. Ignoring it, knowing I’ve got to get down to the clubroom fast, I quickly pull on my jeans and boots, forgetting my t-shirt in the rush, going down the stairs bare-chested.

  Fuck. It is her. What has she said? Fester’s behind her with his arms holding her pinned tightly, Ballsy’s ripped her top, exposing her tits as she’s frantically trying to get loose and screaming my name. I saunter toward the trio as casually as I can, seeing the rest of the brothers looking on partly in confusion and partly in amusement.

  “Let her go, Fester. She’s not one of your whores.”

  He’s clearly reluctant. “If it looks like one, walks like one, talks like one, then it probably is. What’s up, Brother? Thought you were into sharin’.”

  Lazily I reply, “I want to know why she’s here. Then maybe you can have her.”

  “I think that’s something we all want to know, Brother.” Chaos has come up behind me and slapped his hand down hard on my bare back, leaving it there as though sending a message. Fuck, I should have got dressed. He slaps me again. “Thought I told you to keep this covered up? Maybe we’ll remove it ourselves.”

  Inwardly I cringe, knowing he’ll have no problem carrying out his threat. Chaos might be a lot of things, but he’s not stupid. As his fingernails dig into my skin, he speaks again. “Now, who is this slut, and why has she been screaming the place down for you?”

  That’s exactly what I want to know. “She’s a woman I’ve fucked,” I say dismissively.

  “Then you’ll have no problem with your brothers fuckin’ her, will you?”

  “Fuck no. But I want her first…”

  “You can’t give me to them,” Jill screeches, letting loose tears which start streaming down her face. “Why Allie, Rock? Why did you want her and not me? What’s so special about her?”

  I go cold. “Come with me, Jill. You wanna fuck? I’ll fuck you.” My tone’s menacing, but I still can’t shut her up.

  “What’s her cunt got that mine hasn’t?” she yells. Her voice so shrill I fear it will break the glass in the windows.

  “Jill,” I say sharply as I try and warn her again. “Keep your mouth shut, bitch.”

  “Beef said you were here. Allie wasn’t fucking surprised. She knew all along. Said she’d fucked you. It shouldn’t have been her.” Her voice rises. “I’m the head of the fuckin’ sweet butts, not her. And with that new bitch comin’ in too. She got something to do with you, Rock?”

  “Whose sweet butts?” Chaos asks casually. “The Satan’s Devils?” I’d have been taken in if I hadn’t seen him in action before.

  Jill shrugs as if signing my death warrant is no big deal. “Of course.”

  Now it’s my arms that are grabbed and forced behind my back. Pistol and Dong have moved fast. Chaos must have signalled them.

  Jill’s eyes have opened wide at their swift actions, her face working as if she’s trying to understand what’s going on. The stupid cunt that she is, she still hasn’t quite realised yet what, or who, she’s dealing with. She might be slow, but there’s already acceptance inside me. All I can hope for now is that I’ve already done enough to save my true club. I can’t do more if I’m dead.

  Chaos walks around me, blocking her from my view, but I hear him clearly as he asks, “This new woman on your compound, sweetheart? Anything seem odd about that?” His voice is far too laid back for the words that he’s asking. And by lulling her into a false sense of security, she throws me to the wolves.

  “Sure is. Fucking bitch. Scraggy cow. Can’t even make a decision for herself.”

  “And would that bitch be called Becca?”

  “Sure is.”

  She must think she’s buying her way in with information. If I could get my hand on a knife I’d gut her myself. All our plans gone to shit. Because of a fucking sweet butt.

  When Chaos opens his mouth again his voice and tone change. “Take both of them to the fucking cellar!” he roars out.

  Chapter 12

  Becca

  It’s so beautiful here just outside of Tucson, I think to myself as I open the door to the balcony and step out. While the desert beyond the compound is still blackened from the fire which I’d learned was only a few months back, even that retains a rugged beauty. Beyond the destruction my eyes can see right across to the Tucson Mountains. After the months spent in the cellar, I still can’t get enough of the fresh air which I now breathe deep into my lungs. There’s nothing that’s anywhere near claustrophobic about this place, and it’s here, for the first time in my life, I feel free.

  Here no one barks instructions at me. No one controls every moment of my day or forces me to submit to their sexual demands. I no longer need to tiptoe around, frightened of doing the wrong thing or making a mistake. No parents to admonish me, no husband to criticise or dole out punishment. No one to tell me how I should think or what I should do.

  Sometimes I think I’ll wake up to find it was just a glorious dream. But no, I’m still here. Standing alone on the balcony I smile, though there’s no one to see, realising my facial muscles now form the expression of pleasure without feeling stiff and unused. Is this what happiness feels like? It sure seems that way to me.

  It’s not all plain sailing. I haven’t shrugged off all my conditioning of the past. Sam’s a clever woman and has understood the support that I need. A little nudge here when I stand too long in the queue for food, undecided which items to take. A compliment there when I put on a combination of clothes that I’ve chosen for myself, uncertain if they’re the right thing to wear. Her gentle encouragement has had me slowly gaining confidence to step out of my shell. She doesn’t know how much it helps when she goes out of her way to ask my opinion, then gives me time to formulate the answer.

  Sophie, Ella, Darcy, Marcia, Carmen and Sandy have followed her lead, all giving me the assistance I need to become my own person. I’ve come a long way, but there’s still a distance to travel.

  Indulging myself, I breathe in more of the glorious fresh air. The time when all I could smell was myself seems in the distant past now. I’m getting stronger every day. I still need to put more weight back on, but I don’t feel anywhere near as weak as I did when I arrived. Later on this morning I’m going to meet with Peg, and he’s going to help me get started in the gym. He offered, when he’d heard me talking to Sam about how m
uch I used to love keeping fit but wasn’t sure where I should start now. My muscles have atrophied, being unused for so long, but Peg said he’s seen that before and will act as my personal trainer to help me build up my strength again. I can’t wait. Another sign that I landed on my feet when I ended up here.

  The sun is shining straight toward me, so while waiting until I go to meet the sergeant-at-arms in the gym, I pull up a chair and relax back, letting my skin absorb that precious vitamin D. Reaching over to the table, I pick up the sunscreen and, bending forward, start to cover my legs. It’s then I hear voices below.

  “Allie. Allie. Wait up.” I shudder as I recognise the voice of the unpleasant sweet butt.

  “Jill. You can ask all you want, I’m not going to tell you anything you don’t need to know.”

  “I think you’re forgetting yourself. I’m in charge here. I need to know where you are and what you’re doing.” It’s not hard to distinguish Jill’s shrill, angry voice.

  “Well you don’t need to know what I’m not allowed to tell you. It’s club business. Now butt the fuck out.”

  I hear what sounds like a hand hitting flesh, then, “What the fuck did you do that for?”

  “You don’t talk to me like that!” Jill screams. “I can get you kicked out of here. You don’t get to keep secrets from me. I’m more part of this club than you are.”

  “Ouch, Jill. Fucking let me go!” I risk peering over the balcony to see Jill’s got her hand wrapped in Allie’s long hair and is pulling it. Hard. “Jill, Jill, for fuck’s sake.” Ashamed of myself, I hide again, my hands fluttering as I don’t know what to do to help.

  “I can make your life hell, bitch. Now tell me what’s going on. Drummer told me you could.”

  I’m still watching, they’re so intent on themselves they don’t look up and see me. I don’t like anyone getting hurt, and it makes me feel guilty to admit I wouldn’t want to take Jill on, even if I was feeling stronger. I’ve never been in a cat fight before, so would clearly be at a disadvantage.

  Relieved, I see Jill loosen her hand at last. “I’m the head sweet butt, bitch. Don’t you forget it. Now tell me about you going out with Drummer and Wraith.”

  “I can’t,” Allie insists.

  Jill bunches her fists. “Well, you better get ready for a whole load of pain. And not just from me—from Drummer, when I tell him how you refused to follow his direct order. Tell me!” Her last words are a scream, and I wonder why she’s not attracting more attention. Anxiously, I look up and down the roadway outside but there’s no one around.

  Allie’s clearly indecisive, Jill now shakes her hard. “I know it’s got something to do with that bitch, Becca.”

  Now my ears are burning. I try to inch closer to hear better. What business do they have talking about me?

  “Look, Jill. I don’t know anything about Becca. She just turned up, that’s all I know.”

  “Well, tell me about where you went with them.”

  “Jill, let’s take this to Drummer. He can tell me if he wants you to know.”

  Jill softens her tone. “Allie, apart from me, you’ve been here the longest, and you know only too well what Drummer’s like if he thinks his word’s being questioned. I wouldn’t want to be in your position if you don’t follow his order.”

  Allie shakes her head and looks around carefully. I duck down as it looks like she’s going to glance up. “It’s Rock.” She speaks quietly. I have to strain to hear.

  “Rock? What’s that traitor got to do with it? I’ve heard the brothers talking about him. He stole from the club.”

  Allie sounds thoughtful. “I don’t think he did. He’s doing something for them. Drummer and Wraith took me to meet him.”

  “Did you fuck him?”

  “Of course I did.”

  There’s another slap. “How fucking dare you! You know he’s mine!”

  “For fuck’s sake, stop hitting me. What do you mean he’s yours? He’s not even fucking here. And when he was, I didn’t see him with you…”

  “It was just a matter of time. I’ve already been on the back of his bike, and you know what that means. Why did they take you and not me? You put yourself out?”

  “They asked me, Jill. As you yourself said, I couldn’t refuse a direct instruction from the prez and VP, could I?”

  “Where did you go?”

  Allie lets out a sigh so loud even I hear it. It sounds like she’s given in. “Just to a house. They kept me out of the way while they were discussing business.”

  “You didn’t think to eavesdrop?”

  Whether she did or not, Allie’s not saying. She’s sniffling as though she’s in pain. “Jill, I can’t tell you more, as I don’t know it. And Rock had a prospect’s patch on…”

  “A prospect patch? For what club?”

  “One called Chaos Riders. Oh, but there was another biker waiting outside for Rock. While I was waving goodbye from the door, I heard Rock say they were going back to the Long Horns.”

  “Anything else?” Jill asks tersely.

  “No, that’s everything. Will you tell Drummer…”

  “I’ll tell him you brought me up to date. Now go back to the house and clean yourself up. You look a fucking mess with your nose bleeding.”

  I give it a minute, thoughts racing through my head. No one knows better than me how Rock being with the Riders was meant to be secret. Now the person I like the least on the compound has got information she shouldn’t have. What’s Jill going to do with what she now knows? I’ve no idea. But the fact she’s just been told where he is and who he’s with sounds like it’s dangerous. I have to speak to Drummer. I’m almost one hundred percent certain Jill wasn’t meant to bully the information out of the other sweet butt.

  I pause. Has my distaste for her influenced my reaction to their heated and, on her part, violent conversation? I don’t really want to intrude on the president if there’s no real reason. Perhaps I should ask Sam’s advice? But then I’d have to tell her… I’m ashamed to say I take longer than normal to choose what to wear, my indecision exacerbated by my fear of saying something out of turn.

  Eventually, wound up and worried in more ways than one, not least my concern for Rock’s safety, I make my way down to the clubhouse. In the clubroom I see Marvel sitting with Joker and Lady. They’re in the middle of a late breakfast.

  I stop in front of them, already shaking as I prepare to make my request.

  Marvel looks up. “Becca. Need anything?”

  It’s the opening I want. “Er, I’d like to see Drummer. Please, can you tell me where he is?”

  With narrowing eyes, Marvel probes, “Why?”

  “Um, I’ve something to tell him.” Why can’t I be more forceful? But faced with a challenging man, my trembling worsens.

  Marvel leaps on my uncertainty. “Prez is a busy man. You shouldn’t interrupt him unless you’ve got a good reason. Perhaps we can help instead.” Marvel’s eyes rake over me, and then he cocks his head to one side. “Want to keep me company for a while?” He pats his lap in invitation.

  “Oh,” I squeak, wondering whether I should do what he’s asked, then make myself remember what Beef had said. No woman is forced here. From somewhere I dig up some confidence and inject a little more strength into my voice. “I need to see Drummer.”

  “What’s this?” A voice barks. “You givin’ Becca a hard time, Marvel?”

  “Nah, Peg. Just messin’ with her. But she wants to see Prez. I’ve been tellin’ her she shouldn’t bother him.”

  “Does she now?” The sergeant-at-arms looks at me. “Drum’s tied up with something at the moment. Tell you what, we’ll start a bit early. Let’s go to the gym and I can start gettin’ together a plan that will help you build your muscles back up. Come on, Becca.”

  I look up at the giant and find myself taking a step in the direction of the gym when the vision of Rock helping me escape flashes through my head. For maybe the first time in my life I prepare to disobey a
direct instruction. I owe it to Rock to make a stand, and will just have to deal with any consequences. Imperceptibly, I straighten my back. “I’m sorry, Peg, this is too important. I need to see him, and I think he’ll want to hear what I’ve got to say without losing any time.”

  “Prez is dealin’ with something. Now’s not good for him,” Peg insists.

  Rock’s face in my head enables me to summon up determination. Even the sergeant-at-arms can’t make me back down. But I can’t summon up much more than a squeak as I ask, “Please, Peg. Where’s Drummer’s office?”

  “Look…” Peg draws his hand over his face. “Perhaps I can help. Tell me what it’s about and I’ll decide whether to interrupt him.”

  Gritting my teeth, I tell him, “I can’t do that. This is between the prez and me. Or maybe, Wraith?”

  “Wraith’s in with him.” He waggles his fingers in a come-hither gesture. “Come on, woman. Talk to me. Prez doesn’t want to be bothered by bitch problems right now.”

  Taking me by surprise, my frustration at being thwarted and my concern for Rock causes a hitherto unknown blinding rage to rise within me. Without thinking it might be unwise, I take a step forward and prod him in his firm chest with my finger, my voice rising. “It’s not up to you to determine whether he wants to be bothered by ‘bitch problems’ or not. It’s up to him. And I’m telling you, he’ll want to hear what I’m saying.” Immediately my words are out of my mouth, my hand goes to my lips and I flinch, expecting the blow that will surely follow. So intent on Peg, I don’t notice everyone looking behind me.

  I hadn’t realised how loud my voice had got until I hear a growled, “What the fuck is going on?”

  Swinging around I see Drummer. My relief so great, I feel I could burst into tears. “Drummer,” I cry out. “I need to speak to you,” then add incautiously in my anxiousness to make him listen, “I think Rock might be in danger.”

  The room erupts behind me. Peg’s got me clinched with my back to his chest, roaring into my ears, “What the fuck do you know about Rock?”