Whatever Comes First

by M. K. Lee

  Joel's easy shrug is reassuring; Matthew wraps his hands around his waist and smiles against his mouth. "Then maybe we should get to it, huh?"

  They undress each other unhurried once they make it to the bedroom, with lips and fingers trailing paths across exposed skin and leaving each of them smiling and humming in approval. Joel guides Matthew back to the bed, slipping the dildo from its box and resting a fresh bottle of lube he's brought with him next to his leg.

  "How come you've never tried one of these before?" Joel asks, curious with a hint of teasing in his tone.

  "I, uh... I've... I've never even thought about toys," Matthew tells him, a little startled that the thought really hasn't occurred to him before. "I guess I always assumed they were only for women."

  A clicking noise comes from Joel's throat, and seconds later he leans in for a hard-pressed kiss. Matthew watches as he strokes a hand over his own already hard cock then bends over for a second, licking Joel's cock head and grinning at his surprised gasp.

  "Do that again."

  Matthew's always been fairly good at taking instructions and Joel seems to have noticed that already, so he does just that, rolling over on to his knees between Joel's and sucking him hard into his mouth. Joel cries out, fingers gripping through Matthew's hair and using the leverage to set the pace he wants. Matthew closes his eyes, tells himself to relax and breathes out through his nose as Joel's cock head nudges against his gag reflex, and slides a couple of inches down his throat. Matthew lets out a prideful hum and finds himself grinning around a mouthful as Joel writhes and groans beneath him as he sucks.

  Matthew pulls off once he's sucked and swirled his tongue along Joel's length and swallowed around him a couple of times, grinning at the dazed look on Joel's face as he kneels over him and bends down for a kiss.

  "I was... I was gonna say how hot it was thinking I'd get to be the first to show you some things... including this," Joel says, shaking his head like he's trying to clear it before sitting up and pressing Matthew back against the bed, sucking his cock hard into his mouth without warning. Matthew moans, grips his fingers through Joel's hair, and parts his legs a little wider with his head dropping back as Joel winks up at him then swallows hard. Matthew cries out, his thighs jolting at the unbelievably good feeling of the tight constriction around his cock.

  "That's not hot?" Matthew gasps out, whimpering as Joel swallows again then slowly drags his lips up the length of his cock.

  "It's all kinds of hot," Joel assures him, sitting up and pinning one of Matthew's legs between his own, pushing on his free knee to tell him to widen the gap between them, then mutters instructions at him to pour lube on to his waiting fingers and watch.

  Matthew's stomach ripples at the breach of a fingertip, and he smiles at Joel when he raises his gaze to check on him. He watches that finger disappear inside of him and feels himself clenching around the slight intrusion, already anxious for it to be thrust in instead of just sort of pressed there as it currently is. Joel happily obliges, easily sliding that one finger out until those newly-familiar spikes of pleasure start flaring out through him.

  At the second finger Matthew whines, his hips jerking of their own accord as though in an effort to spear himself on Joel's waiting hand. Joel gives a groan of approval and thrusts a touch harder, telling him again to watch as he scissors his fingers inside him.

  "Come 'ere," Joel rasps, tilting his chin to claim a kiss which Matthew awkwardly leans up for, whimpering as he does because of the way Joel's fingers are angled up inside him. "Want you to try something."

  Matthew watches half in fascination as Joel withdraws his fingers, wraps them around one of Matthew's to slick it up and then hooking it, pulling it closer. Matthew realises what Joel wants when he presses his own fingertip against his hole next to Joel's fingers, and together they breach him, that thickness of three fingers having Matthew writhe and whimper. With whispered guidance, Joel helps Matthew find his prostate with his fingertip, and the surprise jolt of pleasure he gets as he crooks his finger makes Matthew jerk up in an arch and whine out a surprised oh.

  "Again," Joel instructs, and between them they build up a rhythm with every thrust in Matthew jabbing at his prostate and moaning over and over. Joel grins to show his approval, pulls on Matthew's hand, and then positions his fingers so this time there are four slipping inside him. The choked groan Matthew gives on feeling that additional stretch has Joel whimpering and going a little harder and deeper, then pulling out of him without warning and bending to suck Matthew's cock into his mouth again.

  Matthew writhes and calls out but can't go anywhere; Joel's firm grip on his thighs prevents even the slightest of movements. But Joel only sucks him a couple of times, mumbling to him about not wanting to overstimulate him, then pulls back, and quickly slicks up the dildo.

  "You ready?" Joel asks, swallowing as his eyes firmly down on what Matthew assumes must be his now gaping hole from how open he feels. He can do little but nod and follow Joel's urging him on of how he wants Matthew positioned. Matthew raises his legs and wraps his arms around them from underneath, then frames his fingers either side of his hole and spreads himself open. The resultant blunt press of silicon against him a second later is somehow still a surprise though, and instantly his breath is catching.

  "Breathe," Joel offers up a wink, and with a warm hand pressed to his stomach to relax him he slowly nudges the dildo inside. Matthew's helpless to do anything but gasp as thick non-giving inches spread and spear him open, filling him full with sparks of that strange pained pleasure and forcing out stutters until the dildo is fully inside him. Joel leans over and kisses him, a firm push to keep the dildo pressing right against his inner walls; Matthew finds himself bearing down on it, and that has Joel smiling.

  Joel pulls back and eyes his hole intently as he slowly slides the dildo almost all the way out of him then glides it back in, a delicious feeling that has Matthew's cock leaking and his stomach clenching and his eyes helplessly fixed on watching that length going in and out of him. The groans and stutters come out unchecked; Matthew rocks to get even fuller, chasing a point of pleasure that's so good he can't quite believe he's never thought of doing this to himself.

  "Your turn," Joel announces out of what feels like nowhere, when Matthew has become a babbling wreck. The sudden removal of the dildo leaves him feeling hollow and wanting to beg to be filled again, but Joel leans over to kiss him in reassurance and even bends to suck on his cock before he stands up and walks out of the room, returning a minute later with a dining chair he positions beside the bed.

  "This," he says, licking over the base of dildo a few times, "Is a suction cup. Means you can fuck yourself on this thing. And I can watch," Matthew's heart is hammering and he stands on shaking limbs, watching as Joel presses the dildo in place on the chair then slicks it up with a little more lube—then wraps those lubed fingers round his own length and gives himself a few tugs. Matthew's cock jolts as he watches but he can't find it in him to say a single word.

  "Sit yourself down," Joel winks, sitting on the edge of the bed just inches from where Matthew's about to be.

  "Where... which way do you want me to face?"

  "Well," Joel says, his head to one side and considering, "I'd really like to see your cock bouncing as you fuck yourself, see how hard and wet you get. Think you can face me and hold on to the back of the chair behind you for support?"

  Matthew straddles the chair, holding the dildo steady as he lowers himself on to it. An uncontrolled moan punches its way out of him at the sensation of being so very full and stretched. He reaches to grip the edge of the chair back as comfortably as he can get his arms and positions his feet how he thinks will give him the best leverage then slowly raises himself up, sliding immediately back down. The feel of that is overwhelming with how good it is; he does it again and moans to himself, feeling the urge to chase that pleasure taking over all rational thought.

  Barely hearing Joel's voiced encouragement, Matthe
w raises and lowers himself again experimentally, whimpering and watching the way his cock twitches and jolts. He grinds himself down on the dildo, the circling of his hips and that press inside of him leaving him whimpering even more. Matthew has to close his eyes, instinct stirring his hips without him even having to think about it.

  Matthew raises himself up once more, lowering himself with an extended groan at the feeling of fullness. And then again, and this time he flings his hips down harder, crying out as the head of the dildo strikes up inside him in a really, really good way. Matthew loses all control after one final slow rocking on the dildo, giving in to the chasing urge and fucking himself full over and over with a string of ohs and fucks the only words he can now get out.

  His breath punches out of him in half gasps, his stomach coiling with pleasure and everything getting that little bit tighter, more sensitive and on edge for him. Joel's voice drifts over to him but Matthew's too far gone to make out what he's saying, far too distracted by the tremble in his thighs and arms and that heat of pleasure surging through him with every thrust and the need to just keep going.

  Matthew's voice fails him altogether and he starts punching out a continual string of grunts and groans as he fucks himself faster still. The chair is squeaking with the force of him pistoning himself, and Joel's got his feet curled around the chair legs to help keep it in place. Matthew's coiling tighter and tighter, feeling himself mere seconds away from coming. But then Joel's hand is out and gripping around his thigh, urging him to stop, and before Matthew can protest Joel is on his knees and sucking his cock hard into his mouth.

  The howl Matthew lets out then is anguished. If he had any sense of mind left in him he'd be worried about the neighbours hearing. But right now all he can think of is that thickness that he's rocking on filling his ass and the wet heat of Joel's mouth around him; that combined pleasure leaves him whimpering pitifully. It doesn't take long before he's right on the edge again, and he tries to stutter out a warning but Joel just grips hard around his hips and sucks him harder. Matthew cries out, throwing his head back and coming hard down Joel's throat, the stretch of the dildo filling him seeming to lengthen and intensify his orgasm until he's left boneless, and only held upright by the calm press of Joel's palms against his thighs holding him in place.

  Another flurry of activity and Joel is straddling him, raising Matthew's hand to wrap around his cock and slotting his own fingers into the gaps in between.

  "That... that was so... fuck that was hot," Joel gasps out, and there's a furious kiss between them before their eyes fall to the slide of Joel's cock between their fingers and he too is crying out, splattering come over Matthew's chest.

  It takes several minutes for their breath to even out, and he's convinced he would fall straight to his knees with exhaustion if it wasn't for Joel's steadying hands as Matthew slides himself off of the dildo. Joel mumbles encouragement to him to lay down, and when Matthew next looks up the chair is gone, and Joel stands over him with what he presumes is a freshly washed dildo and a small hand towel that's clearly damp. Joel cleans him up, grinning triumphantly and leaning down over him for a wicked kiss. And then he's throwing himself down on the bed beside him, an idle hand teasing Matthew's oversensitive cock before he turns on to his side and closes his eyes, a pleased expression on his face before he falls asleep. Matthew falls asleep seconds later, feeling so sated he can't even move.

  Chapter Three

  Just the sight of Joel's name when he checks his phone has Matthew needing to adjust himself discreetly at his desk. He slides his thumb over the screen after a quick glance to either side to make sure his colleagues are busy and takes in the, "You might want to open this alone." He grins, locking his computer immediately and heading for the restroom.

  Matthew opens the message again once he's safely behind the door of his cubicle and has already checked he's alone in the communal restroom, breathing heavy with anticipation. He clicks on the video with his mouth already dry, his cock jerking at the view before him. Joel is fingering himself open, the slickness of lube displayed on both his fingers and the one-handed spread of himself so that Matthew can actually see a little inside him. The teasing nudge of that dildo he's already intimately familiar with himself is now against Joel's hole, dipping in a fraction and then pulled out again. A firm slide of it all the way in, a glistening one out. Matthew's mouth is now watering at the thought of the sounds Joel probably made whilst recording this video and begins cupping himself through his trousers.

  There's a second video waiting for him and the text says, "Stop touching yourself." Matthew lets out a snort of disgruntled laughter but does as he's told. This experiment between them is barely two weeks old and they've only been alone in person a few times, but their daily messages are the reason he has come more in the last few days than he has in the last year. And in those two weeks they've both learned how much Matthew enjoys doing as he's told.

  Matthew clicks on the second video and bites down hard on his lip. He watches the dildo standing proud on a hard-backed chair, its lubed-up length waiting for something to sink down on it. Matthew's cock jolts and his ass clenches and his teeth bite hard enough on his lip for him to almost taste blood.

  There's a whimpered groan Matthew assumes belongs to him. In the video Joel is slowly lowering himself on to the dildo and splaying his legs wide so that Matthew can see his swollen cock and wonder for a second where exactly he's wedged the phone to record this little treat for him.

  Three minutes pass in a blur of hips fucking down on a dildo and a cock bouncing wild and leaking that Matthew wishes was currently in his face for him to get a taste of. He watches in fascination as Joel speeds up. The chair jolts with the force he's using to fuck himself with and his cock is hidden in the grip of his fist which he's stripping it with furiously.

  Another hard shift of the chair and Matthew's gasping, watching mesmerised as Joel comes, spurting out erratically up into the air as he grinds down on the dildo and drops his hand to the side. Matthew watches his cock, the heavy rise and fall of his chest, and the tremble in his thighs as he adjusts his legs. He wants to play it again but he's already been in the bathroom for a suspiciously long amount of time, so heads back to his desk hoping the way he's walking is enough to cover his blatant arousal.

  Back at his desk he fires off a quick message of thanks; a reply comes instantly telling him he's going to be following Joel's instructions when he gets home tonight. Matthew wants to curl his head down on the desk in frustration at the urge to be going home now, but another message telling him to get back to work followed by a wink and an, "I'll be talking to you later," has Matthew's forcing himself to focus, counting down the hours until he gets home.

  *~*~*

  Matthew's imagination has kept him so occupied that he's still a little hard by the time he gets back to his apartment, and a low grade sense of urgency has been sitting hard in his gut throughout the rest of his afternoon. He throws himself to the sofa and watches both of Joel's videos again before he does anything else, then fires off a quick message to tell Joel he's ready whenever. The phone buzzes less than a minute later and Matthew wants to laugh at the Pavlovian-like response his cock gives to hearing that.

  "Were you waiting for me to message?" Matthew laughs into the phone, grinning and closing his eyes at the thought of whatever relief he's about to get himself—with Joel's verbal assistance, of course.

  "Essentially, yeah. Been a slow day," Joel tells him; just the sound of his voice has Matthew stirring and he's helpless to stop his idiotic grin.

  "That what you get up to when you're at work?" he asks with a thrill of thinking about where Joel might have made his videos, kicking off his shoes and settling back against the sofa.

  "Nah. Did that last night thinking about you running around a football pitch. Just thought it'd be fun to send it to you and see if it distracted you much."

  "It did," Matthew assures him, palming himself. "It really did."

 
"Did you do what I told you? Stopped touching yourself?"

  Matthew's throat clicks and he nods, a second later realising what a pointless gesture that is. "Yeah. Yeah, I stopped." Matthew hears a wicked peal of laughter and swallows hard.

  "So you were touching yourself. You were gonna get yourself off watching me come?" Joel sounds very, very pleased to hear this information and Matthew finds his eyes falling closed.

  "Yeah. Yeah, I was. You're... I like what we do to each other."

  "Me too," Joel assures him, "although tonight... tonight it's more about what you're gonna be doing to yourself."

  Matthew presses the heel of his hand against the swollen seam of his trousers and bites down on his lip. "Don't wanna come over and do this in person?"

  Joel laughs into the phone, which also shoots a spiral of desire through Matthew. He's pretty fucked, he thinks to himself. They might only be doing this to get each other off, but already Joel's taking up far too many of his thoughts. Not that he minds. It's not like there's anyone else on the horizon and he's certainly not actively looking for anything more than sex. And if all he's got to distract himself from work and study is unattached sex with this very willing and attractive man currently waiting to get him off via phone, then Matthew will happily take whatever he can get.

  "Oh, I do. I just didn't want to just invite myself over like that, not without you agreeing to it first. And besides, I stupidly agreed to go into work an hour earlier tomorrow to check over a faulty batch of samples."

  Joel's admission does something else to Matthew, knowing he's purposefully not making assumptions and avoiding overstepping marks. It fires another jolt to his cock at the simplicity of this thing, that they're both taking what they need and not draining one another like they would be were this a relationship. That thought has him wondering about how real a relationship must or mustn't be if the only description of it is draining. Matthew pushes the thought to one side as far too serious for the moment and clears his throat. "I'm free Sunday again," is all he says in response, biting down on his lip once more.