Whatever Comes First

by M. K. Lee

  Matthew's mind is full of Joel. A large part of that is purely of the things they do to each other. He'd be crazy not to let boring days be brightened by such memories when he's got so many of them to choose from. But it isn't just that, and it hasn't been for a long time. Just the thought of Joel sitting there quietly watching a film beside him makes Matthew smile—in fact, every stray thought about him does.

  It's getting to the point where Matthew's talking himself out of feeling the way he is, because it seems too big, too much to be thinking of someone quite that constantly. He's lovesick, according to Sarah, he thinks with a grimace. But when she's the one on the receiving end of all of his Joel-flavoured woes, she's perfectly entitled.

  Not woes, Matthew amends, stern with himself. Because he's got nothing but good things to say about Joel all of the time. It's the strain of him finding himself turning everything in a conversation towards Joel. He's lucky Sarah's the patient saint she's opting to be with him about this, Matthew tells himself, groaning and closing his eyes.

  His mind being full of Joel ceases to be a problem with the arrival of the man himself, however. Joel's on him the second Matthew opens the door, claiming his mouth in a hard press of a kiss as his hands stroke greedily over his chest. He raises a thumb to rub along the side of his neck, then both hands slip behind him to grab his ass, grinding up against him.

  "Know what I've been thinking of all day?" Joel breathes into his ear before nipping at his neck on the way to kiss him on the mouth again, diving his tongue hard inside.

  "I think I can guess," Matthew manages to blast out, forcing his hands between them and hastily working open Joel's jeans, groaning at the same time as Joel when his hand closes around his already half-hard cock, giving it a quick tug before he's forcing Joel's jeans to mid-thigh so he can stroke him properly.

  "Mmhmm," Joel agrees, making light work of removing Matthew of his shirt, "but specifically," and at Matthew shaking his head his smile grows wicked. "I can't get the thought out of my head of how it's going to feel—and look—watching you ride me."

  Matthew lets out a whimper as he does at any of Joel's suggestions, his mind also ghosting with the images of impaling himself on Joel's cock, Joel's hands caressing his thighs and wrapping around his cock as he bounces. Joel grins, triumphant, and leans in for a more gentle kiss before he slides his hands into Matthew's jean pockets for a quick squeeze, pulls his own up enough to allow him to walk without tripping, then turns on his heel, heading for Matthew's bedroom. Matthew takes all of two seconds to watch him go, then crowds up behind him and kisses into his neck, his hand around Joel's cock as they attempt to walk, distracting them both.

  Joel pushes Matthew to the bed with a laugh and towers over him, kissing his way down his chest and running his nose over his swollen length before unbuttoning his jeans and pulling them off, mouthing over him through his boxers and yanking them down as well. He stands at the foot of the bed, head slightly to the side as he looks over Matthew with a leer, palming himself as he does and giving out the occasional moan.

  Without warning, Joel grabs Matthew by the ankles and tugs him a little so his head slides off the pillow and is on the bed. Matthew lets out a blast of laughter in protest then watches with interest as Joel saunters up the side of the bed, pushes the pillows to one side then kneels his way on, immediately straddling Matthew so that his balls are resting on his chest and his knees are either side of his shoulders.

  "Head up," he instructs, cradling the back of Matthew's neck as he slots pillows behind him until he's happy with the angle he's got him in. Then he's angling himself, pressing his cock head against Matthew's lips and slowly pushing it into his mouth with a single fuck punching out uncontrolled. Matthew breathes steady and slow, trying to focus all of it through his nose, closing his eyes to the thrust of Joel's cock over his tongue. Then his eyes are springing open at Joel shifting, looking up to see him wrapping his hands tight around the headboard and positioning himself better to fuck into his mouth.

  Matthew lets out a moan, knowing the vibration will have Joel's stomach fluttering. He licks and sucks at him, swallowing the occasional flood of pre-cum and humming in approval with each and every one, letting Joel know how much he's enjoying this. Matthew also raises his knees and splays them, wiping up his own pre-cum leaking from his head and stroking himself over slow, trying to keep it in time with every one of Joel's thrusts. After a particularly hard suck Joel's trembling above him and panting, looking down at him wide eyed, leaving Matthew smiling up at him the best he can with a cock shoved deep in his mouth.

  "You know, I've got this fantasy of sneaking you into work so you can suck me off in my lab," Joel tells him with a small twitch of his hips, driving his cock a little deeper. "That, or bending you over one of the benches and fucking you there," he says, thrusting harder this time as though he's really imagining that. All Matthew can do is moan and grip his cock a little tighter. "And we have this shower cubicle where I'd happily let you pound me up against the wall," he says, a little breathless as Matthew swallows around him and raises his hands to hold on to his hips as they rock. "Got this little ledge around the edge of it where I could stand so you could bend me over a bit and give me a really good fuck."

  Matthew's whimpering. Joel gives one final thrust into his mouth then pulls himself out, bracing his hands against the bed so he can shift himself down, then stirs his hips over Matthew's as he bends to claim a kiss. Joel smiles and hums against him like he's savouring it, then leans over to the side, trapping and pulling one of Matthew's legs between his own. A quick reach and he's resting a condom on Matthew's sternum with a wink before turning the bottle of lube so Matthew can uncap it for him and squeeze some onto his waiting fingers.

  Joel opens him up with a dirty slide of tongue for every press of finger inside him, pulling back occasionally to smile before diving in to kiss him all over again. "Got any ideas about places you'd like us to fuck?" Joel mumbles against his lips and smiles at him for the way it adds to the depth of Matthew's moan. "Tell me," he coaxes with a crook of his fingertip up inside him, making Matthew arch and punch out a harsh breath before closing his eyes, letting out a low, anguished moan.

  "I... we've got this... there's this storage cupboard we've got at work that I'd love to sneak you in for a quick fuck," he blasts out, whimpering at a particularly wide stretch of Joel's fingers.

  "A storage cupboard?" Joel says, feigning offence. "You want to fuck me in a cupboard, quick and dirty, hand over my mouth so your colleagues won't hear me moaning?" But the way he stirs against Matthew shows how much he likes the idea.

  "Yeah," Matthew breathes out, stuttering and looking down at the way his cock is jolting at not being touched. Joel looks in the direction of Matthew's gaze, takes pity on him and bends over, giving him a quick suck that has Matthew groaning out at all over again. "I wanna... I—I want you to fuck me in the corner of the uni library where—where no one ever goes... but where someone could still walk in on us."

  Joel's eyes grow wide with delight. "Defiling library texts? Where do I sign up for that?" he asks, nuzzling against him before claiming another kiss and pressing hard against his prostate, grinning at Matthew's answering whimper. "Anything else you want to try you haven't told me about yet?"

  Matthew howls at another stab up inside of him and breathes out quick and shallow, rapidly nodding his head. "So much," he manages to punch out, "So much, Joel, so much, I—"

  "Are you telling me I'm not treating you right already?" Joel teases, grinning and arching an eyebrow as he presses his fingers hard into him and keeps them there, feeling Matthew squirm.

  "You are," Matthew protests, gasping, "you are. I just want... I just want..." but his words trail away from him at another hard thrust of fingers into him that have him groaning and his hips flinging down of their own accord in search of friction.

  "Tell me," Joel whispers, leaning in and mouthing down his neck repeatedly before nuzzling into his shoulder and pressing
his chin there, watching him.

  "I want... I want you to... I want you to bend me over the arm of the sofa at my place..." Matthew stutters out, earning himself a pleased kiss on his shoulder.

  "So your ass is in the air and I can get good and deep? And when I'm fucking you the other end of the sofa's up against the wall so it won't move... and neither can you?" Joel adds, arousal clear in his voice.

  "Yeah... yeah, like that," Matthew says, swallowing thickly at the thought of how that's going to feel. At Joel's smile and urge for him to keep going he swallows again and nods. "I want... I want you to ride my cock like I'm about to ride yours. But want... I want to do it on a chair so I can... so I can do it with the dildo up my ass at the same time."

  Joel groans, dropping his forehead down on Matthew's shoulder and thrusting his cock hard against his side. "I wanna do the same to you but with the anal beads in me. Not let myself come until you have... let you pull them out. Maybe—maybe we should think about buying a few more things. Butt plugs and... and... we'll start looking," Matthew gives a frantic whimper and Joel surges to lick it out of his mouth.

  "I want... so many things..." Matthew tells him desperately, grinding down hard on his fingers once again.

  "I need to be in you, now," Joel growls out, rutting up against him as he withdraws his fingers, giving a quick stroke over his cock. With a nudge he has Matthew shifting, guiding him to straddle over him. Joel's rapidly squirting some lube on to his palm and stroking him over before Matthew can even settle himself properly on his knees, smiling as Matthew falls forward and has to prop himself up on his chest. Then Joel's watching intently as Matthew rolls the condom over him, slicking himself up a little once it's on and holding himself steady for Matthew to sink down on. One hand rests on Matthew's hip and his eyes narrow to watch as Matthew slowly lowers himself on to him with an appreciative moan that doesn't stop until he's all the way in.

  "How's that feel?" Joel asks, urgent, watching the way Matthew pants above him as he adjusts to the feel of being impaled.

  "So deep," he manages to whimper out with a look down in shock at where they're joined, a tiny roll of his hips punching a gasp out of him before he's settling his hands in a curl around Joel's shoulders and giving another experimental roll.

  "You like that?" Joel asks, his own hands splaying around Matthew's hips as he adjusts his feet against the bed to fuck up into him. "Rock back and forward for a bit, see how you like it," which Matthew begins doing, stirring his hips a couple of times, the entire time letting out one continuous groan that gives Joel all the answer he seems to need.

  "Okay," Joel says, sounding reasonable and amused, "I'm gonna just lay here, let you have your way with me for a bit. Ride the fuck out of me or take it nice and deep and slow. Take whatever you want."

  Matthew whimpers again at Joel's offer, and Joel's eyes fall to his cock straining for contact and leaking. Matthew gives one more tiny flare of his hips and then raises himself a little, dropping down hard in experiment and letting out the filthiest moan. He closes his eyes, concentrates on the feel of Joel tight up inside him and mumbles, then rolls his hips, flares them, working out a rhythm of spearing himself on Joel's cock that leaves him feeling so thoroughly full it's a continuous pleasured pain he can't help but keep chasing.

  Matthew's working himself into a frenzy, punching out gasps with every slap of skin between them, stretched wide open and pushing himself hard to take all of it. When Joel's hands slide reassuringly down his thighs it slows him and has him opening his eyes to stare at Joel. He's rewarded with a wink and another slide back up with warm hands pressed securely on his hips.

  "Okay, joining in now. I'm gonna fuck up into you, okay?" Joel tells him, grinning wider as Matthew rapidly nods his head. Joel grips a little tighter, spreads his legs a touch and gives a hard thrust up that has Matthew falling forward with a broken oh at receiving, then desperately urging him on for more.

  Joel fucks up into him twice more like this, then he's slipping his hands around Matthew's ass and pulling his cheeks open, pressing hard against them and keeping him firmly in place. He gives Matthew another wink as though to warn him then thrusts up even harder, groaning at the tightness of the angle and how desperate Matthew's answering cry out is. "Fuck," he manages to punch out, then does just that, repeatedly and harder with every thrust, as Matthew curls over him helpless and barely able to move.

  Matthew tries to concentrate on every filthy groan coming out of Joel's mouth with every hard stab of his cock up into him, but the heat curling in his gut is overwhelming and so very tight. He knows when he gets to come it's going to be messy. It's going to be all over Joel's chest—and that thought has him mumbling softly to himself all over again.

  When Joel slides his hands down his sides and continues to fuck up into him but softer, Matthew all but falls over him, claiming his mouth in a desperate gasp. Joel smiles, humming against his lips, squeezing around his hips a little then quietly urging him to sit up. With a nod, there's a silent agreement for Matthew to start moving again, and soon they've got the pace they want, both of them groaning with pleasure.

  Joel drops one hand to wrap around Matthew's still lube-covered cock and begins to fist him. Matthew cries out at the first stroke, eyes down on his cock slipping through Joel's fingers and picking up the speed of his hips as he rocks. Grunts and whimpers become all they are capable of accompanied by the sounds of skin slapping together and the bed squeaking beneath them.

  Matthew's cries become desperate, his hips jerking erratic and hard, but he's determined to hold himself together until Joel comes. With a grit of his teeth he grinds down on to him again and begins a frantic pistoning of his hips, spurred on by every groan that punches out of Joel's mouth.

  Joel's own thrusts grow a little tighter, deeper, and rounded, and after a particularly hard jolt from Matthew he arches hard against him as he comes, croaking out Matthew's name. When he looks up, Matthew's grinning at him, which has Joel huffing in amusement then stripping Matthew's cock faster and humming in approval at the way Matthew cries out. Joel shifts his hand, pressing one firm against Matthew's stomach to keep him where he wants him then gripping a little tighter, sliding his cock through his fingers at a furious pace.

  One surprised blasted out oh and Matthew's coming, straining against Joel and painting stripes of come all over his chest just as he's been imagining. He collapses over him, boneless, pushing Joel's hands to the side to allow himself to fall, groaning into his neck as Joel's hands stroke rapid paths over his back then looping around him with a contented hum to his ear.

  Matthew is so thoroughly fucked out that he's shaking when he tries to push himself upright. Joel utters soothing words at him as he helps, holding himself still and pushing low on Matthew's stomach until he slides out of him, grabbing his arm as he falls back on his knees before tugging him to lay down beside him.

  Matthew knows nothing but the feel of the bed beneath his side and the coolness on his stomach which speaks of his own come there smeared from pressing against Joel. When his breathing evens out he raises his head and finds Joel watching him with a look on his face he decides is, at the very least, affectionate. Especially when Joel strains over to kiss him softly then tells him to lay back so he can grab something to clean them both up, which he does in a flash then lays back down beside him, pulling Matthew close.

  "Well that felt pretty fucking incredible," Joel hums against his lips, pressing a kiss there and sliding his hand down Matthew's side to rest on his waist. Matthew gives a tired smile and wriggles closer to him. Joel grins at the gesture and brings his leg up to wrap over Matthew's so his foot is pressed against his calf, shuffling a little closer himself. Half-kisses and sleepy smiles follow until they're debating getting beneath the duvet with the knowledge that if they do they'll stay under there, or forcing themselves up to shower and make something to eat.

  Food wins, although a shared shower means it's another hour before they get around to eating. Joel l
eans back against the kitchen counter as Matthew cooks, unhelpfully interrupting him with repeated kisses that he snatches by pulling him in every time he passes to get something. There's one longer kiss where they get a little lost in each other and the pan lid behind them starts to whistle and rattle in protest. Matthew feels Joel grin against him, squeezing a little tighter before he lets him go.

  When dinner is over—spaghetti and meatballs because last time Matthew cooked it, Joel liked it so much, he had three plates—Joel seems in no hurry to be going. They curl into one another on the sofa trading kisses and news, catching each other up on the things they haven't already shared. They make plans, and if Matthew didn't know better he'd think Joel was dropping hints for an invite to stay for the weekend since they're going out together Saturday night to see a local band playing in a pub near his. He casually suggests it, making it sound like logic rather than something he isn't secretly aching to have happen. Joel's answering grin makes it seem like Matthew's offered him something far bigger, but Matthew chides himself for reading more into it.

  It takes restraint Matthew didn't know he had to prevent him asking Joel to stay with him that evening as well. The way Joel kisses him before leaving means it's easy to fool himself that not only would Joel be willing, but there would be something more to it for him too. But they part, eventually, smiling and breathless, with Joel not letting go of his hand until the very last second, leaving Matthew with even more to smile and fantasise about when he goes to bed.

  Chapter Twelve

  Matthew looks down at the shower gel and soap Joel's dropping into the shopping trolley, and looks back up at him with a smile. "What?" Joel demands, smiling back at him. "You're almost out of both, and you know I love the way this stuff smells on you."

  Matthew looks at the sandalwood scented shower gel now back in Joel's hand and pulls it from his fingers and laughs, his stomach giving a nervous flip over the fact that Joel would already recognise such things about him. "Anything else you think I'm out of?"