***
Sarah returned home early the next morning to get Owen ready for his soccer game. Abby stumbled out of bed and into the kitchen as she was making coffee. “How’d things go with James?” she asked, yawning.
“He’s fine; he had a good trip to Ohio,” Sarah responded, not wanting to divulge the whole Maggie situation but pleased that her daughter was showing some signs of thinking of someone other than herself. Maybe she will follow in her mother and grandmother’s footsteps and become empathic after all, Sarah brightened, wondering when she’d stopped believing the world revolved around herself.
“Oh, glad to hear it,” she commented, somewhat detached, poking her head into the refrigerator to look for the butter.
“I’ve got it over here,” Sarah said, pointing to the plastic container by the toaster where she was making toast for Owen’s breakfast.
“Got it, thanks,” she replied and then added nonchalantly, “Oh, by the way, Tyler and I broke up.”
Sarah felt a searing pain rip through her, a shock shooting down her spine. “Oh my god, what?! Abby, are you okay?”
She nodded slowly and shrugged, “Yeah, whatever. It’s no big deal.”
Sarah immediately pulled her daughter into her arms, holding her tiny frame against her chest. “Honey, you dated him for a long time. What was it, seven, eight months?”
“Eight months, one week, and three days,” Abby enumerated, “but who’s counting?”
Sarah examined her daughter’s eyes. They were a little red, slightly puffy, but nothing else gave away that she’d just suffered a break up. It almost looked like spring allergies had stricken her. “What happened? If you feel like talking about it, I mean,” Sarah said, trying to be sensitive.
“I simply decided that I didn’t want to limit myself to dating one boy,” Abby explained. “I’ll be turning sixteen next month. I want to keep my options open.” She suddenly looked so wise and mature standing there, one hand on her hip, her hair pulled back into a loose ponytail. “You know, like you do.”
Sarah had to physically keep her jaw from dropping. “Uh...what do you mean, like I do?”
Abby tilted her head and thought for a second about how she wanted to elaborate on her comment. “You tend to date more than one man at a time. Like right now, you have James and Pawel. When you were still married to Daniel, you saw Jonathan. And when we first moved here you were sorta seeing Rick, Jason and Anthony.”
A smile slowly crept across Sarah’s face. I don’t know why I’m so shocked, she thought. She’s my daughter, after all. Of course she’s intuitive and perceptive. Of course she knows what is going on. I always thought Owen was the one who had inherited my empathic abilities, but let’s face it, I raised both of these kids myself.
“Well, Abby, I think that’s very smart. There’s no reason to limit yourself to one boy when you’re so young and just learning about yourself. Besides, you want to have plenty of time for your girlfriends too.” Sarah suddenly wondered if Abby had any interest in girls? If she realized that her mother did?
Abby nodded. “Chloe and I made a pact not to have serious boyfriends till we’re seniors.”
Sarah laughed, “Okay, well, whatever you two think is best.” She put the butter and milk away. “How did Tyler take the break up?”
“Like a typical guy,” Abby replied. “Told me he never really liked me that much anyway. Ugh, Mom, why do guys have to be such jerks?”
“If I ever figure out the answer to that one,” Sarah promised, “I’ll be sure to let you know!”
***
Sarah drove back over to James’s house for a quiet evening of watching movies and vegetating, a reward for finishing up some work. She took some papers to grade and a bottle of wine she promised she wouldn’t open till she’d finished seven papers. James laughed at the little bargain she made with herself and promised not to interfere with her goal.
He was quite industrious, engaging in all manners of domestic tasks while she sat on his couch armed with her red pen. He had dusted all the books and bookcases, started laundry, and was folding the clothes that had been sitting rumpled in baskets during his journey to Ohio. She didn’t want to admit to being distracted watching him move about the house because he might stop and ruin her between-papers entertainment.
She finally set down her pen and declared victory over the requisite number of papers. “Plus one more for good measure,” she announced, catching James’s attention on the other side of the room.
“You’re such an overachiever,” he laughed at her, making his way over to plant a kiss on her cheek.
“I need more than that,” she complained, pulling him down on top of her on the couch.
She felt his weight on top of her and wrapped her legs around his waist, feeling his cock grow hard in his sweatpants as he pressed against her pubic bone. “We’re wearing way too much clothing though.” She squirmed her way out from underneath him and started to pull her black yoga pants off. “Meet you in your room naked in 2 minutes,” she suggested, traipsing off to the bathroom.
She found him reclining on the bed, the sheet pulled up to his waist, flipping through channels on his television. “Really?” she questioned, “you’d rather watch TV?”
“No, but I didn’t think you’d just be two minutes,” he replied sarcastically.
“Your cock is a powerful motivator, what can I say?” she retorted, her eyes gleaming wickedly as she ripped back the sheet and climbed to a kneeling position between his thighs.
She proceeded to work him into a frenzy, his head thrown back, only guttural moans managing to escape from his throat as she licked and sucked every square inch of his manly parts. When she was satisfied he was ready for her, she climbed up his body and slid her wanton pussy down his shaft. “Oh my god,” she sighed, “you feel so fucking good inside me.”
He mumbled something unintelligible and moved his hands to her hips where he controlled her movements up and down. She propped herself on her wrists, slamming her body down with all her force as he pushed himself up and deeper inside her. His eyes were closed and she studied his face, wondering where his mind was, wondering when he might open them and lock gazes with her.
He moved his hands behind his head and allowed her to take over. Obliging, she leaned down so that her breasts grazed his lips. Ordinarily he’d take her nipple into his mouth and gently chew on it, but his lips were firmly closed, expressionless.
She continued to grind her pelvis into him, a little more slowly, wondering why he was so distant. And then she realized he had lost his erection. She moved a little too much and he slipped out from her. She felt the wetness that had gathered on his cock turn cold against her upper thigh as she dismounted him. His eyes were still closed but he pulled her into his arms. “What’s wrong?” she whispered.
He shook his head, “Nothing, baby, sorry.”
She had dealt with performance issues in the past with other partners. Stay calm, don’t worry, don’t assume, she reminded herself of all the lessons she had learned in the past. She stroked her hands down his chest, stomach and thighs. “It’s okay,” she said in her most soothing voice.
He turned on the movie and they laid in silence. Finally, Sarah rolled onto her side and began to drift off to sleep. They both dozed for a few hours, and then she felt him press against her, his hand around her waist, pulling her bottom toward his hips. She could feel his erection straining against her flesh, buried in the cleft of her cheeks. He lifted her thigh to get the right angle to enter her and still drowsy, Sarah was jolted into lucidity, gasping as she felt him fill her. He moaned softly and started to move very slowly inside her. I knew things would be better if we just waited a bit, she thought.
He pulled out, pushed her over onto her knees and moved behind her. She felt his stiff cock slide into her and groaned with pleasure. She felt a sense of relief that his equipment seemed to be working as he firmly grasped her cheeks and began to stroke in and out. She tried not to worry
too much about him and concentrated instead on the sensations radiating from her nether regions.
Getting ever closer to climax, she began to push herself back against him, meeting each thrust with one of her own. His speed was increasing and she felt very close to losing control. He pulled back on her hair, gathering it in his fist and wrapping it around his hand, knowing exactly which buttons to push to force her over the edge.
Damn, he knows me so well, she thought as she felt the first waves consume her. She felt suspended, her muscles spasming against him, tingles radiating out to her extremities and then back in again toward her core.
James slowed down as she caught her breath. She laid her head down on the bed, angling her ass up, allowing him deeper access. She was silent for a moment, trying to read from his motions and sounds where he was, where he was going. He was seeming to slip away again, both literally and figuratively. She could feel him growing soft and she could feel the frustration rising and his desperation to push it below the surface.
She felt frozen, wishing she could do something, say something to make it better. He withdrew. He fell to the bed, facing away from her and was totally silent.
A tear stung at the corner of her eye. Is this because of me? Did I do something wrong? Is this because of Maggie? All of her wise self-talk from two hours ago had disappeared and was replaced with haunting insecurities. She curled her body to him, molding her soft flesh to his stiff, muscular frame. She draped her arm over him, and rested her chin against his back. But she didn’t speak. I don’t know what to say, she admitted. She listened to his breathing steady, his body spasm into sleep.
I’m keeping him from devoting himself to Maggie, she suddenly realized. He loves her and wants to be with her. To start a family with her. He’s just confused because I’m here in the middle. I’m in the way. I need to go.
She silently left her warm spot in bed and gathered up her things. He didn’t even move. This is for the best, she thought as she got into her car and drove away.
***
It was dark and a little foggy in the valleys of the curvy road Sarah traversed to exit James’s housing development. The houses were spaced far apart and boasted thickets of trees and vegetation in between, making for a challenging drive in the pitch black, moonless night. She struggled to pay attention and stay awake, but her mind was tired and jumbled with sad thoughts and strong convictions that she was doing the right thing. She fought off her exhaustion, fueling her energy with desperate consternations, inventing all sorts of scenarios for how her relationship with James might play out. She walked away with a broken heart in every single one.
As she had thought many times before: this is a war I cannot win. She cranked up the radio, but the song that blared out into the space around her ears spoke of unrequited love and she felt the singer’s pain searing through her. Her fingers trembling, she twisted the knob to turn it off; silence was more easily endured. How did I get myself into this fucking mess? she asked herself for the millionth time.
She made it out onto the main road and still had a few more miles till she reached the highway, but at least this road was straighter and more brightly lit. In the distance she saw a pair of headlights veering back and forth on the straight stretch that laid before her, farther past where her own headlights shone. She slowed down with the passing thought, Stupid drunk drivers. She glanced at the glowing green numbers: 3:37. In the morning. On a Sunday morning, she thought, her mind transporting her back to the last time she left James’s house thinking it was the end. It was only two short months ago.
Suddenly the zig-zagging headlights were on top of her, shining through her, burning into her eyes. She felt a jolt, an impact against the side of her car. A rush of energy bolted through her like a lightning strike, causing her to veer sharply to the right to give the other driver a wider berth. Suddenly her wheel struck the guardrail and flipped over it. In a swirling fraction of a second, her car rolled then was back upright, the passenger side rear wrapped around a tree. Before she could panic, scream, or even think, the airbag shot up around her, enveloping her in a white cloud of sterile silence.
And then the white cloud went black.
***
There must have been dreams, millions of technicolor dreams so vivid her mind and body ached from the continuous action, the clarity, the constant movement. And the sounds, the sounds had been so rich: the laughter of children, the crashing of waves, the squealing of tires, the screaming of sirens. And then there were the smells, searing through her nostrils as if they were concentrated enough to make her sinuses explode: pungent cracklings of a campfire, gentle caresses of lilac blossoms, salty breezes wafting from ocean waves. But when her bleary eyes finally cracked open through swollen slits, all of the colors, sounds and smells had been stripped away. There was only a low beeping and the soft, mind-numbing hum of machines, a disconcerting odor of disinfectant, and the dull, colorless gray of a clinical prison.
Where’s my golden sun and purple mountains? Where is the sound of fall leaves crunching under my feet? Where is the smell of an apple pie cooling on the windowsill? Give me back my dream world, dammit, Sarah cried out into the caverns of her aching head. But the only response she heard was “Shhhhhh...don’t try to speak.”
She jolted at the sight of the nurse affixing the blood pressure cuff to her upper arm and at the feel of the paper-thin cotton gown clinging to her hip as the blanket was stripped away. She started to cough but then felt a pain rip through her ribs like she was being stabbed in the lungs. What the fuck? she thought, raising her fingertips to the pink flowered gown and feeling her chest wound in bandages.
“Your vitals look good,” the nurse stated coldly. “You have some family here to see you. I’ll go get them.”
Well, isn’t she Miss Personality, Sarah smirked. In moments, the door pushed open and Kathy and Rachel appeared, their eyes filled with concern and accented with dark purple circles underneath. Kathy sat in the chair nearest to her daughter’s bed and Rachel sat on the bed right next to Sarah. “You’re not family,” Sarah managed a weak laugh.
“Her mind is fully intact,” Rachel noted to Kathy who smiled with relief. “I told them I’m your sister. Note the family resemblance,” she pulled back her hair and turned to the side to reveal her profile, laughing.
“Where are Abby and Owen?” Sarah questioned. I just want to see my kids. Oh, my god, she thought, I can’t believe I’m in the hospital. What the hell happened?
“They’re in the waiting room with James,” Kathy replied, patting her daughter’s leg through the blanket. “The nurse wanted to make sure you were okay...and lucid...before you saw anyone else.”
James. Shit, Sarah thought, remembering the circumstances under which she left his house the night before. “What’s he doing here?” she asked. “Which hospital am I at?”
“You’re still in Laurel,” Rachel replied. “I guess you didn’t make it that far from his house.” She couldn’t quite stop her next question before letting it slip out, “Why were you leaving his house in the middle of the night?”
Sarah suddenly felt nauseous and dizzy, then overwhelmed with exhaustion, a force stronger than she’d ever experienced. I can’t answer. My brain says no. Kathy recognized what was happening and shot Rachel a stern glare, “It’s okay, honey, just relax, I think the doctor is going to be in soon to talk to you. Save your strength for that.”
She dozed until she felt adjustments being made to her cords, wires and tubes. A tall man in scrubs was standing at the foot of her bed, making notes in her file. “Well, good morning, Dr. Lynde,” he said brightly when he noticed a peep of her brown irises show through the slits in her eyelids.
She still felt woozy but not bad enough to let the doctor’s extreme handsomeness escape her notice. And hello....Dr....Russell, she thought scanning his name badge. You’re yummy! She suddenly thought about her appearance, the dowdy, unflattering gown, her hair a mess and the stark lack of makeup. I think my mental a
bilities are fully intact, she smirked, I’m still as vain as ever.
“You’re a very lucky woman to have come out of that wreck with relatively minor injuries,” Dr. Russell smiled. “You have a couple of broken ribs, some lacerations and contusions, and a concussion. We’re going to keep you the rest of the day, just to monitor that concussion. And we’re still waiting on the results of some tests. How are you feeling?”
Sarah noticed the clock read 9:13 AM. How long have I been here? So many questions were flooding her mind, she couldn’t quite grasp any single one; they seemed so slippery. She suddenly thought about all the x-rays and examinations she must have undergone while she was unconscious. How many hands touched my body while I was out? Her next thought was of the other victim. “Was that guy who hit me drunk?” she blurted out.
The doctor nodded, “And he’s not doing as well as you. I can’t release any other details though, I’m sorry.” He said something fast and low to the nurse who was busy changing the bag on Sarah’s IV. “The police are going to be by soon to ask you a few questions.”
The nurse wheeled the table closer to Sarah’s bed. “You’ve got flowers,” she announced, handing Sarah the card. “Do you feel like seeing your children now?”
Sarah turned the card over in her hand. Her face brightened at hearing the word “children” and she nodded happily. She set the card back on the table, unopened. She instantly thought of Pawel when she saw the flowers, thinking back to the time she had gotten food poisoning at his house and he sent flowers. Wow, he’s really on top of things. I guess news travels fast, she thought.
Before another thought could squeeze its way to the forefront of her mind for processing, she saw Owen’s dark head peek around the corner and into her room. “Mom!” he squealed and ran to her while Abby sauntered in behind him. He made a running leap to the bed, pushing the table with flowers out of the way and nearly tripping over her IV. Sarah felt a stabbing pain as he threw his wiry 70 pound frame against her bandaged ribs.
The Mountains Trilogy (Boxed Set) Page 27
