The Mountains Trilogy (Boxed Set)

by Phoebe Alexander

  “What’s going on?” Jack asked, standing at the edge of the bed and starting to look pale.

  The nurse adjusted the oxygen mask and hovered near the monitor looking for signs of improvement. Dr. Wilson straightened up and smiled at the three of them reassuringly, the type of smile that says, “I’m a doctor. You can trust me.” Then she explained: “We were seeing some pretty significant decels during the contractions, even with the internal monitor. So we’ve moved Rachel onto her left side and we’re giving her some oxygen to try to get the baby’s heart rate back up.”

  Sarah’s own heart was racing and Rachel looked to be trembling beneath the sheets, breathing the oxygen in and out, her eyes closed as she rode the crest of another contraction. Her fingers were gripping the metal frame of the hospital bed so tightly that her knuckles had turned white. God, it’s so hard to watch someone you love be in pain, she thought. And especially to be so helpless. She looked at Jack and knew he was thinking the same thing.

  The tweets started pouring in. “What’s going on?” “We lost the feed!” “Is Rachel okay?” Sarah tweeted in response, “Rachel is getting some oxygen to bring the baby’s hr up. Bbl with an update.”

  Dr. Wilson squeezed Rachel’s hand as the contraction subsided. “We’re going to stay in here for a little while and see what happens with your next few contractions while we keep you on the oxygen. If we don’t see some improvement though, we’ll have to prep you for an emergency c-section, okay?”

  Rachel nodded and Sarah could see tears in the slits of her eyes. Jack was pacing beside the window. He hadn’t left the room once since Sarah had gotten there. She crossed to him and put a hand on his shoulder. “Why don’t you take a break?” she urged him. “Go get some coffee or something. She’ll be fine and I will call you immediately if anything changes.”

  He looked at Sarah, fear embedded in his deep brown eyes. “I don’t know if I can.” He glanced over at his wife who was beginning to curl into a fetal position at the onset of another contraction.

  “I know it’s hard, but you seem like you’re getting upset and anxious and I think it would help to get some fresh air. Just for a minute, okay?” The doctor winked at Sarah as if she agreed with her assessment.

  “Alright,” Jack conceded. “I’ll be back in 10 or 15.” He hesitated for a moment before walking over to the bed, kissing Rachel on the cheek and telling her he’d be right back.

  12:14: The doctor gave the all clear to restart the broadcast. The baby was descending, Rachel was dilated to 7, and the heart rate was improving. Rachel was coping with her pain by being loud, obnoxious and whiny. She tweeted, “This hurts like a mother-effer!!! Keep your legs together, ladies!” and then: “Seriously, birth control, kiddos. It’s the way to go!!!”

  Jack had long since returned, along with the color to his face. “At least she sorta has a sense of humor still,” he observed. Sarah laughed.

  12:52: Rachel pressed the nurse call button. “Drugs,” she whimpered upon the arrival of her nurse. “I need drugs.”

  The nurse was clearly a seasoned veteran of dealing with cranky, laboring women. So it didn’t faze her at all when she very calmly went about the process of checking Rachel’s dilation and was subsequently met with a seething, “DRUGS NOW, BITCH!!!” which was violently spewed out of her best friend’s mouth.

  Sarah sighed, it was only a matter of time before she cursed out the nurse or the doctor. She watched the nurse ignore Rachel’s angry demand and then her face spread into a happy grin as half her hand was buried in Rachel’s vagina. “Just as I thought; you’re in transition. You’re at 9, 9 and a half,” she announced. “I just feel a tiny lip of cervix and the baby’s head is right there. She has hair!”

  “FUCK!” Rachel screamed, sucking in and out short, punctuated breaths as another contraction was peaking. “So no drugs?” she panted.

  “Nope, we’re going to get the bed ready. You’re going to be pushing within the half hour!” The nurse was more animated than Sarah had seen her all day.

  “Thank GOD!!!” Rachel growled as the contraction began to subside. She reached her hand out to Jack who was at her side in seconds. “Are you ready for this, baby?” she asked, a cheek-to-cheek smile brightening her face for the first time in several hours.

  “Can’t wait, honey,” Jack replied. “You’re doing great!” He kissed her on the forehead.

  Sarah tweeted, “Rachel’s at 9-9.5 cm. It’s almost baby time!”

  1:04: Sarah was positioned on Rachel’s right, Jack on her left. Each held a thigh up and back as Rachel bore down. They were to count to 10 three times during each contraction while she pushed. On their third round, Rachel screamed, “Why the fuck do you keep slowing down? Holy fuck!!! Quit fucking doing that!”

  Dr. Wilson very gently replied to her barrage of f-bombs, “They’re not slowing down their counts, Rachel, and you’re doing great! You’re really making progress. I can see the baby’s head. Do you want a mirror?”

  “Fuck no!” Rachel snarled. “It’s bad enough I have to feel it. I don’t want to fucking see it too!”

  Sarah was suddenly glad there was no audio on the webcast as the tweets were flying in. “How’s she doing?” “I wish we could see the head crowning!” In reply to that one: “No we don’t! This angle is fine!” and “Come on, Rachel, you can do it!” Sarah’s phone was going nuts with all the notifications. “They’re cheering you on, sweetie, you got this!”

  Rachel looked exhausted with dark circles painted under her eyes and beads of sweat clinging to her forehead. Sarah thought about how much harder this might be at 38 than it was at 28. I wonder how I would do, she thought, remembering how grueling but empowering her labors with Abby and Owen were. I sort of want to try it again now that I’m older, more aware, just for the experience.

  Rachel breathed deeply during the next rest period, summoning her strength for the next contraction. “This one is going to be it,” Dr. Wilson predicted. “I want you to give it everything you’ve got, Rachel, channel every ounce of energy you have down into your core and push, okay?”

  Her face red and splotchy, Rachel nodded and braced herself while Sarah and Jack resumed their positions. Watching the monitor, the entire room and internet audience witnessed the line beginning to climb the graph. “Alright, NOW!” Dr. Wilson instructed and Jack began counting.

  Rachel’s face turned nearly purple with exertion as she pushed. “It’s happening, it’s happening!” the nurse shouted. “Come on Rachel, you’re so close!” Jack finished one set of counts and began the next. She closed her eyes and scrunched her face. Sarah felt the power rising off her friend, the sheer will, the determination seeping from her pores. When Jack finished the count, she was gasping for air. “One more time!” the nurse cheered.

  With the final set of 10, Sarah glanced down and saw little Amethyst’s head for the first time slowly being squeezed out of the birth canal. At Jack’s count of eight, the doctor shouted, “Stop! Okay, Rachel, stop and breathe, don’t move a muscle!” She sounded a little alarmed and looking back down, Sarah immediately understood why: the umbilical cord, twisty and blue, was wrapped around the baby’s neck.

  Dr. Wilson expertly inserted a finger under the cord and delicately lifted it up over the baby’s head as if she’d done it a million times. The nurse sighed with relief. “Very good, Rachel, now we’re going to deliver the rest of the baby!”

  Tears were beginning to stream down Rachel’s face as she blubbered, “Okay.” Jack and Sarah held her legs again and she began to bear down, crying the entire time. It all happened so fast, and in mere seconds, the doctor was hoisting a blood-streaked, vernix-covered baby onto Rachel’s stomach, which the nurse immediately began to vigorously rub with a white towel. Sarah backed out of the way and went to grab her phone to take pictures and tweet, letting Jack move in to get his first glimpse of his newborn daughter. Sarah could see he was crying too.

  I feel like a third wheel, she thought as she sent out the tw
eet announcing the birth. I hate distracting from their intimate first few moments with their newborn. She exited the room briefly while the nurse took the baby and placed it on the scale and then over to the warmer to perform the first exam. Sarah took an opportunity in the stillness of the long, sterile hospital corridor to search the hashtag “valentinesbaby.” She was anxious to see what her students were saying about the birth. She was impressed and delighted by how excited and engaged the students were but one young man seemed to sum up the experience perfectly, if not elegantly: “Dude. That was beautiful.”

  ***

  A few hours later Sarah’s mother brought Thomas and Gia to meet their new baby sister, and then Jack took them out to dinner leaving Sarah alone with Rachel in the hospital room. She helped her friend get to the bathroom and put on some makeup. Afterward, Rachel sat serenely propped up in her bed wearing a mint green and pink flowered nursing gown with her newborn blissfully sleeping at her breast. The baby’s cheeks were rosy and full and she had tufts of dark hair peeking out from her white knit cap. “She’s absolutely beautiful,” Sarah whispered, “like an angel,” patting her friend on the arm. “Thank you for letting my class and me be a part of this. I hope you don’t feel like we took away from your enjoying it with Jack.”

  Rachel shook her head, “No, Honeybun, it’s fine. I wish we’d still had the camera on when the doc was stitching me up though.”

  “Why’s that?” Sarah questioned, cringing at the idea of the stitches Rachel required to repair a slight tear in her perineum during delivery.

  “Cause I asked her when I could fuck again and the look on her face was absolutely priceless!” Rachel laughed, startling the baby. “Oh, shit, shhhhhhhh, shhhhhhh,” she said, trying to soothe her daughter back to sleep, but she let out a little whimper which turned into a cry. “I really don’t want to nurse her again right now,” Rachel explained. “I think my nipples might fall off if I do.”

  Sarah smiled. “I’ll take her,” she offered, gently lifting the tiny bundle into her arms. She held her against her chest, patting her bottom and moving her slightly up and down. “I haven’t lost my touch!” she said with relief. The baby was soon lulled back to sleep and Sarah resumed her seat in the chair next to Rachel. She placed the baby lengthwise in her arms so that her head was cupped in the palms of her hands.

  She’d forgotten what newborns looked like. No eyelashes and nostrils so tiny they didn’t look capable of inhaling. Her eyebrows were so delicate they looked painted on. Her skin was still slightly mottled. She lifted up the white knit cap to see the downy fine black hair that sprouted off her scalp in every direction. “Wow, she’s got a ton of hair!”

  “I know!” Rachel exclaimed. “I’m glad. Nothing worse than a bald baby girl.” Then she yawned.

  Sarah laughed remembering how long it took for Abby to finally grow hair. “Why don’t you take a little nap?” Sarah suggested, watching her friend yawn for the second time. “She’s fine, and you need to rest.”

  Rachel was out before she could protest. Sarah sat back in the chair and shifted Amethyst so that her head rested in the crook of her arm. Something about holding a newborn feels so right, she thought. So natural. God, it’s been a long time since I’ve done this. She felt her heart rate slowing and a wave of peace wash over her as she gently rocked the baby girl back and forth in her arms.

  She reviewed the events of the day as she laid her head back against the chair and closed her eyes. Her students loved the assignment; many of them said it was the best and most engaging project they’d had in college. Some said that they would never forget being part of Amethyst’s birth. She thought about the next session for her class, when they’d be discussing the birth in more detail and how childbirth impacts sexuality, both for men and women.

  Before she could stop herself, her thoughts drifted to James and the weekend they’d spent camping at Assateague just about nine months before. “I’d have your baby,” she promised him, knowing how important it was to him to have his own children. She didn’t want it to be an obstacle that prevented him from wanting to be with her.

  I guess Rachel was the one getting pregnant about that time, she thought. She flipped back in her memory bank to just days before Rachel’s wedding when she felt sick and Sarah insisted on buying her a pregnancy test which...obviously...ended up positive. All Sarah could think about was how it could have been her having James’s baby, how maybe she was short-sighted in getting her tubes tied all those years ago. And she remembered how guilty she felt for being jealous of her best friend even though she was truly happy for her as well.

  Nine months later she was holding the outcome of all those conflicted feelings, this tiny, new, precious life...a miniature human with all the promises of the universe outstretched and reaching for her. Where would she go in life? What would she do? See? Who would cross her path throughout the years to come? Sarah held the little girl close to her heart and whispered in her tiny ear: “I hope that you find love, my precious angel baby. Above all else, it is the most powerful force in the world. I hope you find yourself surrounded by it. A life full of love is one worth living.”

  ***

  Chapter Thirteen

  Home

  The billowing clouds just parted and the mountains are suddenly bathed in a nearly blinding flood of sunlight. I almost lose my footing as the thick, bright bands hit my eyes. Squinting, I peer over the ledge and the landscape comes into view for the first time since I've climbed higher to elude my assailant. The valley below me is sliced in half by a winding silver ribbon of a river, snaking back and forth through mossy banks and dotted with clumps of trees and shrubs. Everything is impossibly green. I've never seen such a rich, dark shade of green before. I walk along the ledge, scouring the rocky areas below me for any signs of the man in black, but there are none. I feel safe. Relieved.

  ***

  And I'm leaving...on a jet plane...the “oldie but goodie,” as her mother would say, spun through Sarah's mind as the flight attendants prepared the cabin for departure. She rested her head against the hard shell of the plane and stared out the window at all the activity taking place on the tarmac. It's amazing how many people have to work together just to get a plane in the air, she thought. She promised herself she was only going to think about work on the way to Denver to the annual conference for one of the professional associations she belonged to. She'd reflect on her book and how it was soon to be released, about the papers awaiting grading in her suitcase, and finally how her students were still talking about how incredible it was to share Rachel’s birth experience.

  Oh yes, Rachel, Sarah smiled. She'd practically moved in with Rachel and Jack during the past two weeks to help out while everyone adjusted to having a new baby in the house. Even Garrett had come to help; or, if nothing else, avail Jack of some adult, non-baby-oriented conversation. Little Amethyst is going to change and grow a lot just in the week I'm gone, she lamented. She remembered a kitten she'd gotten before summer camp one year that, when she returned a few weeks later, had become a full grown cat.

  Nevertheless, it was wonderful to see Rachel settling into motherhood and domestic bliss with Jack and her other children. Who would have thought Rachel would so readily morph into a happy, contented mother of three? Sarah mused, thinking about how she'd witnessed her friend help Gia tie her shoes, explain a pre-Algebra problem to Thomas, and update her Facebook all whilst nursing Amethyst. Multitasking at its finest!

  I've already broken my promise to concentrate on work, she chided herself. Rachel is not work. She shook her head. Okay, fine, I can think about Rachel or about family, but I'm not going to get lost in thought about Garrett...or worse yet...James, she bargained with herself. She remembered the email she'd composed to Pawel to announce the birth. She'd told her friend that the baby was a welcome distraction, making it easier to avoid thinking about the fact that James was soon returning to Maryland. Pawel had replied and asked Sarah if she really thought she was going to be able to
deny herself the opportunity to see him. Sarah simply responded: "I must."

  And we have liftoff! Sarah thought as she felt the jet pulling into the sky. This is going to be a good trip, she resolved. This time I’m flying solo. Garrett wasn’t able to miss class, and James wasn't going to appear out of nowhere like he had the year before. Time to myself, time to think, both things I am very much in need of. It's going to do me a world of good.

  ***

  James knew Maggie had a surprise for him but he wasn't sure what it could be. He was understandably a little wary of post-deployment surprises after the debacle in which his first wife was pregnant with another man’s child upon his return. His heart was pounding as he made his way off the plane and into the crowded airport. His eyes attempted to hone in on a mess of blonde curls crowning a beaming smile, but everywhere he looked, he saw camouflage.

  Expecting a huge welcoming party for the returning troops, he predicted that laughter and tears would both flow in abundance throughout BWI airport. Nothing could bring down a serviceman faster than a hug from his or her child after a long absence. He remembered how amazing it was to witness those reunions and was already starting to get choked up in anticipation of seeing his bride.

  As soon as he stepped into the terminal and began to wade through the throngs of waiting loved ones he caught sight - not of Maggie - but the tall, broad figure of his father, James McAllister, Sr. Beside him, his mother stood wearing the broadest, proudest grin he'd ever seen, her head covered with a bright pink cloche-style hat to conceal her chemo-induced hair loss. Next to his mother, at last, was Maggie, golden-curled and eternally tan even in the last throes of winter. On her shoulders perched his one-year-old niece who had finally sprouted fine blonde wisps of hair and behind her was his sister Allie, his sister Patty and their entire respective clans. His whole family was waiting for him!