The Mountains Trilogy (Boxed Set)

by Phoebe Alexander

  thousand thundering hooves poured into the ladies' ears. Rachel saw a tear glistening in Sarah's eyes as she blinked and released it to trickle down her cheek.

  "Isn't that the most beautiful sound you've ever heard?" Rachel observed.

  Dr. Kapoor concurred, "It's one I'm fortunate to hear almost every day in my line of work. I can't imagine doing anything else!"

  Sarah was speechless at the sound of her child's heart beating away inside her. She wiped another tear away before it slid down her face. "Everything sounds okay?" she finally managed.

  "Yes, it's 155 beats per minute, which is just perfect. Any guesses whether it's a boy or girl?" he asked, his eyes creased with joy.

  "I guess I haven't thought that concretely yet," Sarah admitted. "Wait, is the gender of the two embryos we transferred recorded in there?"

  He glanced over her chart. "Looks like it was one of each."

  "Of course!" Rachel laughed.

  Sarah reflected on the one who didn't make it. She wasn't sure what she believed about the afterlife, but she wondered if the embryo who didn't survive was in a happy place with his or her brothers. It’s almost enough to make me want to believe in heaven, she thought. She imagined that Esther Thompson would have something to say about that. She looked down at her pinky finger at the silver filigree ring Esther had given her. She’d decided to wear it to remind herself that she could be a force for good.

  The two women left the office, both feeling relieved. As soon as they made it to the car, Rachel went right back to her interrogation about James. "So, are you going to call him to tell him the good news?"

  Sarah shrugged. "I'll call him tonight."

  "Sarah, he's the father of your baby. So far it hardly seems like he’s been involved. I don't know if it's because he doesn't want to be or if you've pushed him away. What gives?"

  Sarah felt her stomach start to churn with bile. And here I thought I was over the morning sickness, she lamented. Sometimes it was impossible to tell if it was hormones or emotions that were making it so difficult to keep food down. Dr. Kapoor hadn't commented on the fact that she was still ten pounds less than she was when she started.

  "It's probably some of both," she admitted to Rachel, who was driving them to a nearby café for lunch.

  "What's going to happen after the baby comes? Are you going to do all the work then, too?"

  Sarah shrugged. "Honestly, Rachel, after what happened last time, I haven't thought much about the division of labor once the baby arrives. I'm waiting to see IF the baby arrives at this point."

  "Jack went to most of my appointments with me, and he travels a lot too."

  That’s not really helping, Sarah thought. I don't want to be compared to her and Jack. Jack's problem was porn - at least he wasn't fucking another woman. There, I said it.

  "I feel disconnected from James in many ways right now," Sarah revealed. "Since that day last fall when he had to go away for work and we almost missed our opportunity for the first round of IVF, I feel like I lost some trust in him. Like I wasn't a big enough priority to him."

  "He can't help his job though," Rachel argued.

  "I know, but he hadn't even told his Captain we were going through this. He was finally forced to disclose it when he had to come home early from a trip when I lost the twins. But he's not asking for any special treatment. Hell, for all I know, he won't even be here for the birth!"

  "He wouldn't do that," her friend insisted. "Why is he traveling so much anyway? I thought he was teaching."

  "He is, that's why they're only sending him for a few days at a time. He’s working on a special training initiative -- writing curriculum and stuff. You know he's working on his Master’s degree, right? Then he's going for a PhD. He's really serious about being a

  professor when this is all said in done."

  "Wow, really?"

  It's amazing how you can be best friends with someone and not know hardly anything about their spouse, Sarah mused. Like Jack. I know he's a musician and he plays guitar. I’m pretty sure he has a day job too, but I have no idea what it is. Something in banking? Where is he even from? I have no clue and I've even met his family at their wedding.

  "Yeah, history or military science. He really has a passion for teaching," she answered. "You have to, cause nobody would do it for this salary, that's for damn sure!"

  "He sounds like a busy guy. How does he have time to see Vanessa?"

  "He only sees her once a week, usually on Friday nights. Saturday nights are off limits; those are for us." She reflected on a few dates they’d enjoyed in the past month: seeing the symphony, visiting a senior art exhibit where her mother's boyfriend Dale had paintings showcased, and going out with Rachel and Jack on a rare weekend night he wasn't performing.

  "Do your kids know about Vanessa?" she asked.

  "Oh, no, of course not," Sarah replied. "Abby's not here and Owen is pretty self-absorbed these days. She's never been over to the house."

  "Jack asked me the other day why, if you're so open with your sexuality, that your kids don't know you're poly."

  Sarah was usually not surprised when her conversations with Rachel took unexpected turns, but she was not expecting it to go in that direction. "I think they both know that I'm open-minded and believe it's possible to love more than one person. I've told them as much -- in general terms."

  "What about you being bi?"

  "Well...I haven't really come out to them regarding that as I haven't had a serious relationship with a woman since they were very little. But if I did have one, I am sure I would tell them. And Abby is old enough now -- and considering what she is dealing with -- I probably should tell her. Why are you asking me all this stuff?"

  Rachel sighed. "Tom found out I have a friend with benefits."

  "Whoa. How did that happen? Did he tell Owen?" Sarah considered that a year or two prior, if Owen had learned that type of information, he would have come directly to her to share and get her insights. Oh, the difference having a teenager makes, Sarah thought. He's morphed into some otherworldly creature and I don't know if I will ever see my sweet, communicative Owen again. Plus I still can't get used to calling Rachel's son anything other than Thomas.

  "I had left my phone in the other room, and I was changing Amethyst's diaper when I heard it go off, so I asked Tom to grab it for me. He walks back into the room, studying the screen because the message had popped up, you know, and he was like, ‘Who’s Jesse?’"

  "Wow," Sarah's jaw dropped. "What did you say?"

  "I wished I'd come up with some bogus story, like he's my massage therapist or something, but I grabbed the phone away from him as fast as I could. He had texted something like 'can't wait to slide my cock into that tight wet pussy tonight!' And naturally, Tom saw it wasn't from Jack. And --- ewwww, right?"

  "Oh my god!" Sarah cringed. She shuddered thinking about Owen getting ahold of a message like that, even if it were from James.

  "I guess I learned my lesson: keep my phone under 24/7 surveillance. Anyway, I told him I had a special friend I saw from time to time."

  "And?"

  "And he asked, 'do you mean a friend with benefits?' What the fuck, Sarah, where did he learn that?"

  She shrugged, "God only knows. TV? A movie? Online?"

  "And he asked me if Jack knew, and I said 'of course he does!'" Rachel was shaking her head as the emotions hit her all over again. "I asked him not to say anything to Gia. She's too young to know about that

  shit."

  "No kidding. I wouldn't be surprised if he said something to Owen though."

  "Yeah, that's kind of why I was asking. I wondered if Owen had any clue...and wanted to give you a heads up in case he asks any pointed questions. I know how he is."

  "He's not really like that anymore, sadly," Sarah frowned. "I kind of miss those days. I never knew what was going to come out of that kid's mouth!"

  "Well, just think, we get to go through that all over again with Amethyst and whoever
that is you're carrying in there," she predicted, reaching across the gearshift to pat Sarah's belly in the passenger seat.

  "Yeah, 'whoever you are in there,'" Sarah smiled, looking down at her stomach. It was the first time she had addressed her unborn child.

  ***

  When her phone lit up with her dad's face, Abby's entire body froze. Two months later and he's finally decided to contact me, Abby thought. She debated whether or not she should answer, but being alone in her dorm room with notes for final exams spread out in front of her, it seemed she’d just been offered a golden opportunity for procrastination.

  "Abigail!" he exclaimed, clearly not expecting to hear her voice.

  "Yes?”

  "You're getting ready to go home soon, right? Aren't finals this week?”

  "Yes," she confirmed. She looked out the window at the magpie teetering on the window ledge. He cocked his head as he trailed along the concrete, his long, iridescent tail feathers dragging behind him. He peered into the window as if he were expecting to see a show from the young woman inside instead of the other way around.

  "Your sisters really want to see you before you go. They're pretty upset that you haven't been around.”

  Abby bit her tongue. She wanted to retort something less than respectful, but she managed to restrain herself. Who knows what reason he gave them for my absence, she thought. I am not sure I even want to know. She said nothing and hoped it would convey the message that she was still hurt and confused by his reaction to her coming out.

  "I'm sorry I haven't been in touch. I know you left the other night on a bad note, and I want an opportunity to make things right. Can you come over for dinner tonight? I can pick you up around six.”

  The other night? You mean two months ago? she wanted to shout into the phone. She took a deep breath and tried to channel her grandmother's calm, wise aura. "I guess so," she managed.

  "Could you come alone?" he asked. "I am hoping we have a chance to talk a little after your sisters go to bed.”

  It’s not worth protesting, she decided. It's not like I have anyone to bring anyway. Although it briefly occurred to her that she could march down to Sam's room and ask if she'd like to go infiltrate the enemy camp. She figured Sam would get a kick out of that.

  "Yeah, okay," she said flatly.

  Her father arrived a few minutes before six and texted to let her know he was down in the parking lot. She stacked her books and notes on her desk, lamenting that she didn't feel as prepared for Dr. Larkin's final -- which would be all essay -- as she would like to be. All the better reason not to stay too long, she thought, wondering if it were possible to skip the father/daughter heart-to-heart.

  Twenty minutes later, Abby walked in the door of her father’s house to find both of her sisters sitting primly on the sofa waiting for her. Emma had gotten her long honey-brown hair cut in a chin-length bob and Elise had hers braided in two long plaits resting on either side of her face and tied with white ribbons. They were both wearing matching dresses and navy mary janes with buckles -- the whole nine yards. Not surprisingly, Bobbi appeared from the kitchen wearing an apron and a strand of pearls. Oh my god, she's created some sort of 1950's montage in my dad's house.

  Abby glanced around the four walls of the open family room. Huge unadorned windows filled the entire back wall, framing a view of the mountains in the distance. The skylights on the ceiling allowed the soft orange glow of the evening’s sunset to filter in. The house was modern and sleek, definitely not the homey 1950's interior that would support whatever script Bobbi was following.

  Abby glanced at her dad nervously and he smiled. Do they think if they pretend we're on the set of Leave It To Beaver that I'll just crawl back into the closet from whence I came? she mused.

  "Dinner's ready!" Bobbi gushed with a fake smile revealing her fake white teeth. Her skin was old and leathery, and there were fine lines embedded in the caked-on lipstick encircling her mouth. Abby literally found every single one of the woman’s features unattractive. Doesn’t she have any redeeming qualities? she wondered.

  Abby could smell the pot roast wafting from the dining room. Oh, yes, one redeeming quality: she can cook. She sighed and followed her sisters to their respective seats around the long mahogany table. Elise grabbed her hand and said, "I want to sit by you!" Abby looked down into her sister's adoring eyes and wondered how in the world she was going to do this. How would she compromise who she was to perpetuate this façade and not miss out on a relationship with her sisters?

  The meal was good; conversation was stilted. Bobbi was gloating about all the summer plans she had for the girls, who looked as though they'd rather have their eyes poked out by sharp sticks than spend any time alone with their father's girlfriend. Emma barely mumbled answers to questions she was asked about school and the camps she planned to attend. Elise, who was usually very chatty seemed uncharacteristically subdued, although she was clearly happy to see her sister.

  "Why haven't you been over?" she finally addressed the elephant in the room.

  Abby's nerves began to sting, setting off a chain reaction: adrenaline pumping through her arteries, her heart pounding, and her head beginning to throb with what felt like the rumblings of a migraine. "School has been really busy," she lied, shooting a nasty look at her

  father, whose plastic grin was still affixed to his face.

  He hadn't changed out of the clothes he’d worn to the office. He hadn't so much as loosened his tie or taken off his suit jacket. What the hell is wrong with these people? she wondered. She looked back at Elise. "I really wish you guys could come visit me in Maryland this summer."

  "Oh, the girls are too busy this summer with our activities and their camps to travel!" Bobbi answered with a fake apologetic tone. "Elise, did you tell your sister about VBS? It’s next week at our church!”

  Abby thought she saw Emma rolling her eyes as she muttered under her breath, "I'm glad I'm too old for VBS."

  "You're not too old to help out!" Bobbi said brightly. "I've got you signed up to help with crafts."

  After dinner, Bobbi directed the girls to clear off the table and do the dishes. But Matt spoke up, "Wait, there's something I want to show you all out on the deck."

  Emma and Elise shot each other curious looks as they watched their father scoot his chair back from the table. He straightened his tie and buttoned his suit jacket, then opened the french doors to the deck. They all followed him out into the night sky which was painted mauve and purple in the west and indigo with the first twinklings of stars in the east. The ridge of mountains formed a charcoal gray outline against the colorful horizon. As soon as Bobbi made her way outside, the girls all witnessed their father dropping to one knee, his palm outstretched toward Bobbi. He was holding a small square box.

  Bobbi shrieked and clasped her hands over her mouth, but, not surprisingly, it seemed contrived to Abby. Or maybe just everything about her seems fake, she mused.

  "Roberta Marie Flanagan, I have been in love with you since that very first day we ran into each other at the sandwich shop," Matt announced, his voice only slightly quivering in the cool night air. "I wanted to ask you tonight, in front of my three beautiful daughters, if you will do me the honor of becoming my wife?"

  "Oh! Yes, yes, yes!" she exclaimed, and he swept her into his arms. They kissed chastely on the lips, and Abby watched Bobbi slide the huge rock of an engagement ring down onto her finger. She looked back at her step-daughters-to-be with a look of victory smeared across her artificially tan face.

  "Congratulations," Abby offered, feeling she needed to speak on behalf of her sisters, who looked more shell-shocked than happy. At least now I understand why everyone is so dressed up, she thought. She guessed that Bobbi knew all along this was going to happen.

  "Does that mean you're getting married?" Elise asked, her eyes round.

  "Yes, sweetie! We'll be married as soon as we can be!" Matt answered, looking back at his betrothed with a beaming grin.

&nb
sp; At least they seem happy, Abby thought. But she was worried about her sisters. She never understood how Matt got custody of the girls and not their mother, but she wondered if this might not be a good time for them to be in her care. She couldn’t be as bad for them as Bobbi, right? She suddenly tried to imagine what Matt would be like if he and her mother had stayed together all those years ago when Abby was conceived. Would they still be together? Would they be happy?

  Later that night, just before the girls went to bed, Abby asked if her father could take her back to campus. "I have a final tomorrow," she explained, "so I need to study for a couple hours before I go to bed."

  "It's fine," Bobbi said, as if Abby had addressed her instead of her father. "Why don't you go ahead and take Abby, and I'll get the girls in bed?" Abby caught Emma rolling her eyes at the suggestion she needed any help getting to bed. It was the grand finale in a long string of eye rolls she’d delivered that evening. She apparently got that gene too, Abby laughed to herself.

  She gave her sisters big, tight hugs, even Emma, who was not usually receptive to affection. "I'm not sure when I'll see you again," she said, knowing that she hadn't worked out the details of next semester with her father yet.

  "I'm going to miss you this summer," Elise squeaked out in her small voice. Abby felt a stabbing sensation in her heart when she realized there was a very real possibility she would not see them again, or maybe not for a very long while.

  The car ride back to the dorm started off quiet. But finally Matt spoke. "Are you still dating the same person?" He carefully avoided calling attention to the fact that 'person’ was female.

  "No, we broke up," Abby answered plainly.

  "Oh." She could tell he was trying not to sound pleased, but he did not succeed.

  Several beats of uncomfortable silence ensued. Abby had her eye on one bright star flickering in the darkest corner of the sky. She watched it to make sure it wasn't moving, that it wasn't a plane. But it stared back at her, slightly effervescent in its gaseous rendering. She imagined it hurtling toward the planet, a great fireball streaking across the sky. What would happen if it crashed into the earth? Would it leave an enormous crater where the mountains had once been? Would life on earth be obliterated? Would the planet be set off course and spin out of control into a fiery grave or black hole of non-existence? And then: why do I always think about such ridiculous stuff?