Deep Kiss of Winter

by Kresley Cole

  Don’t. Stupid heart. First, she palmed the longest, sharpest, shard. No other way.

  Breean was by her side in the next instant, helping her.

  Do you really want to do this?

  No, she didn’t. But she would.

  “Go lie down,” he said, clearly concerned for her. “I don’t want you to cut yourself.” Yep. Concerned.

  If you do this, you are the monster you always considered yourself.

  Not true. And damn it, why couldn’t her heart and mind play nice? Keeping the shard hidden, she did as Breean had requested. For Devyn and Dallas and even Macy, for Breean, she would do this. She gulped back the lump forming in her throat. When the smoke cleared—and by smoke cleared she meant blood dried—she would speak to Mia and tell her what Breean had not. His purpose, how his planet had fallen, what he wanted, what he needed, how wonderful he was, and how she herself planned to aid him.

  And if that got her fired, fine. If that got her imprisoned for aiding an alien, fine again. She’d find a way to escape. She’d find another way to save Breean and his people.

  After he’d cleaned up the mess, Breean settled beside her, an orange in hand. He tossed it in the air, caught it. “Still hungry, sweet?” By the sensual bent of his tone, she knew he was thinking about her licking the juice off him.

  Now or never. Do it, just do it. It’s for his own good, after all. Aleaha rolled into him. Before he could figure out her intent, she pressed the shard into his jugular, deep enough to draw blood but not deep enough to kill. Blood trickled down his neck, thick and gold. Her hand was wobbling.

  He stiffened, and the orange hit the mattress. “What are you doing?” The words were strained.

  She shifted as close to him as possible, making it tougher for him to shove her away. “I’m doing what I have to do.” Yet she couldn’t deny a sense of wrongness. Damn it! He didn’t give me any other choice.

  “Threatening me is a have to?”

  Her gaze swung guiltily away and landed on the Christmas tree. Only a few more days until Christmas Eve. Maybe she should have waited to do this. They could have exchanged gifts—not that she had one for him—and then—

  No. No! With the holiday approaching, the agents needed to be home with their families more than ever. She’d made the right decision. “Apparently it is,” she said.

  Breean’s tongue traced his teeth. “I thought we were past this.”

  “You thought wrong. As long as you’re in danger, as long as my friends are captives, we will never be past it.”

  A pause. A slight transfer of his weight. “You do realize I could move to the door in the blink of an eye, do you not, taking the weapon with me, leaving you helpless against my fury? All you’ve done is proven I cannot trust you.”

  “You can trust me more than any other. And just so you know, I could sever your head before you moved an inch. I can move quickly, too. Don’t forget.”

  Eyes slitting, he pushed out a shuddering breath. “It doesn’t have to be this way.”

  “If you won’t see to your future, I will do so. Afterward, I want to be with you. I want to make this thing work between us.”

  “You plan to make it work by cutting my throat? Funny. To Rakans, that’s the fastest way to end something.” The fragrance of honey began to thicken the air. “Put the shard down.” Even his voice was like honey now. “I want you to be with me, too. You must trust me in this.”

  She hissed as her nipples hardened and her mind fogged with desire. “Stop that!” She pressed the shard deeper, and more of that golden blood trickled. Knowing how it tasted, like sugarplums plucked from a freaking rainbow, caused her mouth to water. Was no part of her safe from his appeal?

  “Remove your breasts from my side if the smell offends you.”

  Offends? Had the situation been any different, she would have snorted. “I’m not moving.” Yet. She had to make him understand why she was seemingly choosing AIR over him. “Someone has to make you and AIR see reason. Working together will benefit you both.”

  He reached up and grabbed her wrist, though he didn’t try to shove her away. “I do see reason. I want to work with them, but your boss wants my head. Which you now seem perfectly willing to give her.”

  That touch . . . Her skin flushed, her blood pumping wildly for him. Only him. Aleaha held her breath and tried to figure out what to do next. She’d hoped he wouldn’t force her to take this all the way.

  “Drop your weapon and we’ll pretend this never happened,” he coaxed. There was a dark glint in his eye, and she knew there would be no forgetting. Not for a long while.

  Still she surged ahead. “Promise to release the agents. Today.”

  “You would believe me?”

  Would she? More than anything, she wanted to. Then she could curl back into his arms and give him time to heal from the wound in his neck, and they could make love again. “Yes.”

  “Even knowing I always fight dirty.”

  “Even knowing.” With her, he’d always been honorable.

  “Damn you, Aleaha. As I’ve told you multiple times, I would be putting everyone in this house at risk.”

  “As I’ve told you multiple times, they’re already at risk.”

  His expression hardened. Had he expected her to say something else? “Either kill me or drop it.” Obviously, he’d reached the end of his patience. He squeezed her wrist, and it was enough to make her bones ache, but not enough to make her release the shard.

  You know what you have to do. There wasn’t going to be another opportunity like this, he would make sure of it.

  His grip tightened, his anger clearly overriding his promise never to hurt her. “I’m done waiting, Aleaha.” Tighter . . . tighter . . .

  Do it. Now! “If there’d been any other way . . .” she whispered with a sob. “I’m sorry. So sorry.” Then she slashed. Hard.

  He jerked in shock, and instantly blood poured, thick like syrup. His eyes were wide and accusing as they stared at her, but he was unable to speak. His hands flew to the injury, knocking her to the side.

  Tears filling and burning her eyes, she next cut her own wrist. She had to push his hands away to hold it over his wound, dripping her blood into the center, mixing red with gold. “You’ll heal faster this way. I know because I’ve done this before. Not slit someone’s throat, but shared my blood. You won’t die. I won’t let you die.” Babble, babble. “And I promise you, you will not catch a disease because of this.” But he would be too weak to come after her. “I’m sorry.”

  All he could do was gurgle. He’d bled her that day to save her, as well as a few times afterward, all of which he’d considered dangerous. Her actions now were a thousand times more so, and they were against him. He might not be able to get past them.

  Wiping at her eyes with the back of her hand, she shoved to her feet. As fast as her feet would carry her, she rushed around the room, grabbing his garments. She quickly dressed, unable to stop her shaking. Constantly her gaze roved back to Breean. He, too, was shaking.

  I really am a monster. How could I have done that to him? “I’m so sorry,” she choked out. He’d only given her joy, and this was how she’d repaid him. You had to do it. There was no other way. Except . . .

  What if she freed the agents and they really did bring AIR to his doorstep as he feared, her recommendation to make peace disregarded? What if he was killed or imprisoned? What if he was tortured for information? She’d never seen an interrogation firsthand, but she’d heard the screams.

  Maybe she could blindfold the agents, as he’d suggested, and lead them out. Maybe— She snorted bitterly. Yeah, right. Like they’d really wear blindfolds. Free them, talk to Mia, and if she won’t cooperate, help Breean hide.

  If he’d let her. Stomach rolling, she bent and pressed a soft kiss on his lips. They were still warm, yet stiff from the pain. “I’ll come back for you. I’ll help keep you and your people safe.”

  He glared up at her. He’d probably rather kill her
than spend another moment in her presence.

  A sob congealed in her throat. “Good-bye for now, Breean.”

  She strode to the door, forcing her body to grow, to develop muscles. Her skin became that lovely shade of gold, the power inside her humming. When the switch was complete, she pictured the house, mentally navigating her way toward the cells. Now all she had to do was walk there. Without incident.

  Twice she was stopped and questioned in the Rakan language; both times she merely nodded and shooed the men away with a wave of her fingers, as if she couldn’t be bothered. They regarded her strangely, but allowed her to pass. God knows what she would have done if they hadn’t. She couldn’t get her heartbeat under control and was sweating profusely.

  Finally she reached her destination. The air was stuffier here, laden with dust, and she could hear an urgent murmur of voices. Poor guys, stuck in this dank, ugly place while she’d enjoyed the royal treatment.

  In the corner were two Rakan guards. They straightened when they spotted her.

  “I’m taking over tonight,” she told them, praying they found nothing odd about her use of English. “You’re free to do whatever you wish.”

  Grins split both their faces. “Even go into town?” one asked.

  “Absolutely. Tell everyone else they’ve got permission to go as well.”

  Waiting only until they rushed off, she kicked back into gear. Just before she reached Devyn’s cell, she summoned Macy’s image. Her body shortened, the bones shrinking, and her facial features rounded. She didn’t have to see herself to know her skin was now tanned and her hair pale.

  I’m not this person, she wanted to scream.

  The clothes might be hard to explain, since they suddenly bagged on her, but oh, well. Curling her fingers around the bars, she saw that Devyn was seated against the far wall, his knees upraised and his head in his hands. “Devyn,” she said, her voice no longer her own, either. She’d just gotten used to being herself, damn it.

  His head whipped up, and when he saw her, he grinned and stood. In no way did he look like a man who’d spent several weeks in captivity. He looked ready for a party.

  “Lolli, darling.” His eyes were like amber fire in the murky darkness, raking over her. Other agents had been moved to his cell; a couple tried to approach the bars, but he waved them back and they obeyed. “How’d you escape the big guy?”

  Nausea churned in her stomach. Oh, I slit his throat and left him bleeding in his own bed. “I made myself look like him and walked out.” It was the truth.

  “Cool.” He didn’t sound surprised.

  Her knuckles squeezed the bars, losing their color. “You know what I can do?” Had he seen her that night in the forest? He’d been unconscious, and she’d thought she had been so careful.

  Slowly he approached her. “I’m not a trained AIR agent, just their hired help, but I know drug addicts, and Macy was an Onadyn user. AIR hired her only to use her to find out who was dealing to her. I got to be the one to seduce her for info, not that she told me much. Which is why I planned to continue seeing her. But even though she and I had already had sex, you didn’t recognize me the first time we met, and I didn’t recognize your smell.”

  All this time . . . she’d lived in fear, but they’d known. They’d already freaking known.

  “Anyway, AIR figured out you were different, though no one knew how or why you were there. So we all observed you instead, trying to discover if you were someone’s plant.” He shrugged. “But you never saw anyone outside of work and never told anyone the false stories we fed you. And then, not too long after your arrival, someone found Macy’s body. We interviewed a few witnesses and figured out that her dealer went loco and killed her, that you saw an opp and took it.”

  “There was never a story in the news about her death.” Aleaha knew. She had watched and waited for the day, knowing she’d have to switch identities yet again.

  “AIR made sure of that.”

  Warmth drained from her, leaving only a cold shell. She’d had no idea. She’d been in danger, constantly scrutinized, and had been utterly clueless. “W-why didn’t they kill me?” She wanted to release Macy’s image, but didn’t. Even though these agents knew what she could do, she didn’t want them seeing the real her. That was for Breean. Only Breean.

  “As far as I know, you’re the only one of your kind. Human or alien, they still don’t know. You’ll be a great asset.”

  An asset. That’s all she was good for, which wasn’t comforting. But even more upsetting? They didn’t know what she was either. She’d hoped someone had that information. Even her parents hadn’t known.

  Stay hidden, Aleaha love, her mom had said the last time Aleaha had seen her. She couldn’t see the woman’s face, for shadows surrounded them. If anyone finds out what you are, they’ll hurt you.

  We’ll come back for you, her dad had said, taking her mother’s hand.

  But they never had. The two had walked off while she sobbed. They hadn’t run as if they were being chased. They’d walked. They hadn’t looked back.

  She supposed they could have been killed, and that’s why they’d failed to return for her, but deep down she suspected they were still out there, glad to be without the stigma of her origins. Whatever they were.

  She would have died had it not been for Bride McKells, vampire extraordinaire, who had found her and taken over her care. Bride hadn’t cared what she was. Bride had loved her.

  What would Bride think of Breean? She would approve, surely.

  Breean. Oh, God. Breean. Was he okay? You gave him your blood. He’s fine.

  “—listening to me?” Devyn asked with a chuckle. “I was saying how it’s better to keep your enemies closer than your friends, so AIR kept you close. Just in case. Besides, I wanted a go at you so I cast my vote to keep you around.”

  He’d wanted her?

  He must have read the question in her eyes, because he added, “I collect women. You know that. And I’ve never had a woman who can change personas. So if you’re interested . . .”

  “No,” she said quickly.

  He shrugged as if it was of no consequence. “As I said, AIR planned to use you if you proved trustworthy. The things you’ll be able to do, the places you’ll be able to get them, the information you’ll be able to glean, will be invaluable.”

  “Why are you telling me this? Why now, of all times?”

  His fingers curled around hers, warm, comforting. “I like you. I can’t have you. Not right now,” he added with an amused tilt of his chin, “but I do like you and I didn’t want you to fear anyone’s reaction to the truth, since you’ve clearly gone to a lot of trouble to help us escape.”

  Hello, reminder. Escape, the reason she was here. The chitchat needed to end. She leaned down and studied the ID box. “I don’t know how to open your cell,” she said. “I’ve never rewired anything.”

  “I’ll tell you what to do just as soon as you tell me where the Rakan is.”

  “And I’ll tell you just as soon as you tell me that you won’t hurt him.”

  “Done. I vow it.”

  That easily? Why? And could she trust him? She would have to, she supposed.

  “Breean is in bed, unable to move.” She squeezed her eyelids closed, trying to block that last, heartbreaking image of him. “I didn’t see a lot of his men on my way down here, and I hopefully sent the remaining ones on their way. Whoever stayed, I’ll convince I’m Breean and lead you guys outside.” She hoped.

  “Macy?” she heard Dallas call from down the hall. Had they played musical cells?

  “You’re next,” she told him. “Hold tight.”

  “So you escaped Stud Muffin.”

  Stud Muffin? “Looks like it.” And all I had to do was shred his neck. “Now, how do I get through the ID box?”

  Dallas laughed that razor-sharp laugh of his. “We shoulda known she’d do it,” he said to Devyn. To Aleaha, he added, “You shouldn’t be down here. If you’re caught, I’m su
re you’ll be punished.”

  “I won’t be caught. Now how do I open this?”

  “Don’t look at me,” Devyn said, splaying his arms. “I don’t know how to disable them.”

  “But you said—” She gritted her teeth. Bastard. He’d manipulated her for information.

  There was a pause, then a sigh from Dallas. Why so reluctant? Were the situation reversed, she would be shouting orders until the bars were out of the way. Finally, he said, “Remove the lid.” He reached a dark arm through the bars and pointed at the black case.

  She had to pound at it to loosen it, but ultimately it slipped free, revealing a multitude of wires. “Which do I cut?”

  “Only the red one.”

  “You sure?” Devyn asked. “I’d go with blue myself.”

  “They’re all red!” she snapped. “There’s not a single blue one.”

  With another sigh, Dallas rested his forehead against the bars. “I hoped they had the cheaper model. All right. Sort through them and try to find the thread that’s woven through all of them.”

  Thread? She began sifting through the sea of red. “You guys ignored me that first night of captivity. Why?”

  “There was a guard pacing the halls,” Devyn said. “We couldn’t risk him overhearing.”

  Wasn’t like she’d asked for detailed escape plans. “You guys know Mia better than I do.” She didn’t remove her attention from the wires. All of them seemed to be connected to the rest, no common thread holding them together. “If Breean agrees to help her fight the Schön, will she let him do so?”

  Dallas laughed.

  Devyn snorted.

  “What?” she demanded, finally glancing up. The wires had begun to blur together, anyway. Dallas, she noticed, was peering off to his left and mouthing something. Who was he talking to? She followed the direction of his gaze but didn’t see anyone. Perhaps captivity had driven him insane.

  He must have sensed her gaze, because he faced her and grinned. “Mia forgives no one, and the Rakans killed several of her men. Men she was charged with protecting.”