She was acutely aware of his touch, and though she tried to distance herself, she yearned for him. “We were. Do you remember it now?” Her voice came out as a broken whisper.
“I remember everything.” His hand trailed up her spine, and she felt the touch deep inside herself. “I remember your smile when I came to see you. And the way you threw yourself into my arms when we were alone.”
A faint note of nostalgia brushed over her. “I was impulsive then. And you tried to make me see reason.”
“Every time you kissed me, I lost all sense of reason. There was none, and I didn’t care.” His mouth lowered to her nape, and her body reacted instinctively to the touch of his mouth upon her skin.
She was torn between wanting to flee back into the ballroom. . .or turning to kiss him back. Instead, she remained frozen, his touch awakening her senses. “Matthew, what do you want from me?”
“A second chance.” He kissed the back of her neck, and his lips were like warm silk against her flesh. “I lost two years of my life, and memories of torture haunt me at night. I want to replace them with something better.”
Shivers erupted upon her skin, and she longed to turn and pull him closer. But not here. “We could be seen at any moment,” she whispered. “Take me somewhere else.”
He took her hands and guided her deeper into the shadows, to a darkened corner by the stairs. She went with him, her heartbeat quickening. It was almost as if the old Matthew had returned to her once again.
But this time, she was no longer a girl with foolish dreams. She understood that his mind could not heal as swiftly as his body.
He didn’t speak at all, but his hands framed her face. Strong fingers traced the outline of her cheeks, and she felt herself softening beneath his touch. Her bare arms prickled with gooseflesh, and he raised her hand to his lips, kissing it.
“I am sorry,” he murmured. “For all that I have done.”
Lily touched his cheek and answered, “Forgiven.” She wanted Matthew now, just as she always had. No one else made her feel this way, and she wanted to believe that the jagged edges of his past could heal back into a whole man.
His arms moved around her waist, drawing her close. For a time, he didn’t move, and she understood that he was giving her the choice to refuse him. She could pull away now, and he would allow that.
Matthew cupped one cheek, tilting her mouth toward his. Then he kissed her gently, and the heat of his mouth conjured a craving she knew would never be satisfied. He claimed her lips as his own, plundering her mouth until she could scarcely breathe. Hot blood rushed through her veins, and she clung to him for balance.
Just for a moment, she told her brain. I need this.
And God help her, she kissed him back. Her tongue mingled with his, and she lowered the boundaries of her conscience. Matthew shielded her from the outside world, pressing her back against the wall as he kissed her. She knew that they could be discovered at any moment, and the danger felt reckless. Between her legs, she grew wet, wanting so much more than this stolen moment.
He had taken her innocence two years ago, and she feared she lacked any willpower when it came to the fierce desire between them.
Her breasts ached, and she could scarcely gather her thoughts when he pulled back at last. There was only the sound of their hushed breathing, and she knew that her mouth was swollen from the intensity of the kiss.
“You should return to your brother,” he warned. “Before he comes looking for you.”
She took a step backward. Then another, trying to gather her composure. In the end, she turned and fled back to the ballroom, not wanting to face her tangled thoughts and dreams.
Her cheeks were burning, and she fanned herself, seeking a sanctuary among the older women. She didn’t want to dance or endure the flirtations of men—not now. When she spied Lady Falsham, she crossed the ballroom and joined her.
“Lady Lily.” The viscountess smiled and motioned for her to join them. “I am glad to see you this evening.” Her face softened, and she added, “Have you seen Matthew, by chance?”
Lily nodded. “He preferred to remain away from everyone else.”
Lady Falsham’s face held concern. “I had hoped he was starting to get better.” She kept her voice low, but there was no hiding her worry.
“I believe he is improving, but he does not wish to be among everyone else just yet.” To change the subject, Lily added, “By the way, I wanted to thank you and your husband for the book you loaned me. I find medicine most fascinating.” She told the viscountess about the dog. “And I do appreciate Dr. Fraser paying a call upon Sebastian.”
Lady Falsham smiled warmly. “While my husband doesn’t normally tend dogs, I believe he enjoys a challenge.” Then she thought a moment. “If you are interested in veterinary medicine, you might visit the Royal Veterinary College. They may have pamphlets you could read.”
The idea intrigued her. She had always loved animals, and although the Royal Veterinary College was known for treating horses, they might allow her to borrow books or study about the treatment of animals. She had not considered it before, but it might be a distraction from her family’s goal of finding her a husband.
“I will ask,” she told Lady Falsham.
CHAPTER ELEVEN
Matthew had come to call upon Lily, only to find her leaving her brother’s house, a footman assisting her into the landau. He thought about calling out to her but decided to simply follow. Presumably she was going out shopping, and he could speak with her there. He ordered his driver to follow, but was surprised to see that the carriage did not bring Lily toward the linen-drapers in Mayfair. Instead, the vehicle took a northeastern path.
Soon enough, they stopped outside the Royal Veterinary College. Now what was Lily doing there? He suspected it was related to Sebastian but couldn’t be certain. Instead, he kept a discreet distance and watched.
Lily entered the college with her maid shadowing her. They disappeared inside the entrance, and Matthew ordered his driver to bring the vehicle closer. Nearly half an hour passed before she strode out. From her posture, she appeared furious. He waited until her carriage drove away and then disembarked from his own vehicle, with his footman trailing behind.
When he reached the entrance to the college, the footman opened the door on his behalf. Matthew walked inside, and he studied the registrar with mild interest. “I saw a lady leaving just now, who seemed in some distress. Was there a reason for it?”
The gentleman sighed. “She wanted to enquire about books and papers regarding the treatment of dogs. I told her that we do not offer such reading materials to ladies.”
“Because you specialize in horses and cattle, I presume.”
The registrar shook his head. “No, because it would be inappropriate for women. She ought to spend her time reading about poetry, not material such as this.”
Matthew resisted the urge to argue, for he doubted he could convince the man of anything. “Because you believe she would not be intelligent enough to understand it?”
Far from it. Lily was indeed a bright young woman, and Matthew didn’t doubt she could easily grasp the material.
But the registrar nodded in agreement. “Precisely. It would be quite a waste.”
Matthew could only imagine what the man had said to Lily. But he had another idea in mind. “I wish to purchase a set of books for the first year of veterinary studies. And I require any books and materials you have regarding the care of hunting dogs, and all other animals.”
“Do you wish to seek admission to the college?” the registrar inquired.
“A correspondence course,” Matthew corrected. “I am Matthew Larkspur, Earl Arnsbury.” He gave the registrar an imperious look. “I have an interest in reading about veterinary medicine, but my duties would never permit me to attend classes. Nor would I want to engage in such pursuits.” He looked down at the man, making his point clear. “If my requirements are met, I will bestow additional funds upon the coll
ege to assist with further research studies.”
The registrar’s eyes gleamed as he caught Matthew’s meaning. “Of course, my lord. We should be glad to provide you with all the materials you desire. Particularly for your hunting dogs, if that is your interest.”
Matthew nodded. “Give the materials to my servant, and I will await them in my carriage.”
“At once, my lord. And I bid you a good day.” The registrar appeared delighted with the prospect.
And as Matthew departed the college, he looked forward to seeing Lily’s reaction to his gift.
Later that day, Matthew found Lily at home sitting on the floor with Sebastian. The animal’s head rested in her lap, his paw draped over one of her legs. The sight of them together made him smile, and the moment he entered James’s study, the dog’s tail began to wag. Lily’s mother was standing by the window, her expression frozen as she stared. Likely, it was not a good day for Lady Penford.
“Hello, Matthew,” Lily greeted him. Her eyes narrowed at the sight of all the parcels in his hands. “Were you out shopping today?”
“In a manner of speaking.” He set the wrapped books down on the desk and went to sit beside her. Sebastian rolled to his back, exposing his stomach. Matthew rubbed the dog’s belly, and his tail thumped with delight. “He seems in good spirits.”
“I don’t like the look of some of his cuts. They seem quite red and swollen.” She rubbed the animal’s ears, and the dog appeared delighted with the attention.
Matthew nodded in acknowledgment and then asked in a low voice, “How is your mother today?”
Lily only shook her head. “It’s as if she isn’t there. She doesn’t know me at all.”
He reached out to squeeze her hand out of sympathy. “I’m sorry.”
Her face grew pained, but there was nothing either of them could do. Sebastian rolled over and trotted toward Iris, sniffing at her skirts. The matron jolted backward and demanded, “What is that wolf doing here?”
Lily exchanged a glance with Matthew, and they both stood. “It’s all right, Mother.”
“I won’t stay here and be eaten by a wolf,” Iris insisted. She twisted her hands together and backed away. Lily pushed Sebastian back, but her mother hurried to the door and left, closing it behind her.
She was about to follow, but Matthew said, “Let her be. It might upset her more.”
Lily paused but then nodded. “I suppose. I will check on her in a few minutes.”
“Go on and open the parcels,” he suggested. “See if they are what you wanted.”
“I didn’t need any gifts,” Lily said, but she went to unwrap them. She touched the brown paper and guessed, “Are they books?”
When he did not answer, she tore the first one open. It was a copy of From Farriery to Veterinary Medicine. He waited to hear her response, but she had gone utterly silent. Her back was turned to him, and he could not gauge her reaction until he moved in front of her.
Lily was holding the book with both hands, and her expression held tears. “You followed me to the college, didn’t you?”
“I came to pay a call and saw you leaving. I was curious,” he admitted.
“They refused to even speak with me,” she confessed. “That arrogant man told me I should go home and tend to my embroidery. Or perhaps I should put my time to better use in finding a husband.”
Matthew could not quite read her reaction to the gift. Had he offended her somehow? “Was I wrong to ask for the books? Are they not what you wanted?”
She shook her head and clutched the volume to her chest. “They are everything I wanted.” A brilliant smile spread across her face, and she set the book down. “Help me open the others.”
It was like Christmas morning, watching her unwrap the books and pamphlets. When she found one on the care of hunting dogs, she threw her arms around him. “Matthew, this is perfect!”
Her reaction warmed him, and he drew his arms around her waist, holding her a moment, before she could turn back to the books. She pulled back slightly and rested her palms upon his heart, her face shining with happiness. “Thank you.”
“There’s more,” he murmured, framing her face with his hands.
“What else?” There was a note of excitement in her voice.
Matthew was not going to waste this chance, and he bent in to rest his forehead against hers. Her hands moved to his shoulders, and he murmured, “A correspondence course. If you want to complete the written assignments under my name, that is. They would not allow you to take the lessons in person, but you could learn whatever you wanted to, in this manner.”
Her eyes widened, and she drew her arms around his neck again, hugging him tightly. “I do want to try.”
He remained close to her, drinking in the comfort of her touch. And when she raised her mouth to his, he kissed her back.
The moment she kissed him, Lily felt the heat pouring through her skin. She could not resist the urge, and Matthew’s gift had touched her deeply. No other man would have done this for her.
His kiss was coaxing, reminding her of the way he had tempted her last night. She lost herself to the man she once loved, and when his tongue slid inside her mouth, her fingers dug into his shoulders. Though he did nothing more than kiss her, she could feel herself rising to his call, needing more from him.
He drew back, staring at her. His eyes were dark with desire, his mouth firm. “I missed this. I missed you, Lily.”
She rose up on tiptoe, kissing him again. “I feel the same way.”
Matthew lifted her up, bringing her to a wingback chair where he sat down and kept her upon his lap. Then he kissed her again, and she felt the ridge of his erection straining at his trousers. The memory drew her back to the night he had first made love to her. Lily remembered how it had felt with their bodies joined together, and a moan escaped her as he kissed her over and over.
“I will stop any time you want me to,” he swore. His voice was husky with restrained need, and she knew he meant it.
“I don’t want you stop,” she whispered. “Not just yet.”
For now, she wanted to touch this man, to remember what it had been like between them. She wanted to erase the years of loneliness and fear, returning to a time when she had loved him. Her own needs pushed away any doubts she might have had.
He kissed her roughly, and she felt the need to be closer. She changed her position so that she was kneeling astride him, her skirts cascading over the chair. It was scandalous, utterly improper, but she hardly cared. He gripped her hips and sat forward in the chair, bringing them even closer.
This is sinful and wrong, she told herself. Someone could walk in on us.
But she silenced the voice of reason and loosened his cravat and his shirt, sliding her hand against his bare chest. His skin was hot to the touch, and his heart was beating as wildly as her own.
“Lily,” he breathed, drawing his palms beneath her skirts. “What I wouldn’t give to touch you right now.” He spoke against her mouth softly, tasting her lips. “If you were naked in my bed, I would lean down to your breasts and take a nipple into my mouth. I would swirl my tongue over your flesh and watch you unravel.”
The words evoked her imagination, and she felt her body growing aroused. Her breasts were tight beneath her chemise, and she felt her breathing hasten.
Matthew palmed her spine, arching against her. She felt every hard inch of him thrusting with only a thin layer of linen between them. In her mind, she could imagine him freeing himself from his trousers, finding the slit between her undergarments, and sliding in deep. She closed her eyes, afraid of the wild thoughts that conjured within her mind.
“I want to touch you intimately,” he said, slipping his tongue inside her mouth. He entered and withdrew, and she ached for this man.
Lily pulled back from his kiss, trying to gather her sanity from this madness. But she remembered too well the ecstasy of his hands upon her. He drew his hand lower, down to her right ankle, and she bit he
r lip at the silent question.
He didn’t move, and she understood he would not push her too far. But she wanted this man, and her body was eager for him.
She reached down to his hand and guided it higher, over her stockings to her pantalettes. He brought his other hand there and palmed her bottom, kneading it gently. She rocked against him, his shaft pressing her until she felt a shimmering sensation building. He had found the slit in the pantalettes, and now his fingers were against her intimate flesh. When Matthew’s bare hand stroked her womanhood, she let out a half sob of wrenching need.
She shouldn’t allow this—not after all that had happened. But he bent forward and took her earlobe in his mouth, just as he stroked the cleft of her.
“You’re wet for me, Lily.” His voice held years’ worth of frustration, but he found the center of her pleasure and caressed it gently. “Do you want me to pleasure you?”
“Y-yes,” she gasped. And though it was wanton, she was caught up beneath his spell. He delved two fingers inside her, stroking the hooded flesh with his thumb. She began to tremble, her nails digging into his shoulders. Without shame, she sat against him, burying his fingers inside her before rising up. It was an exquisite torture, and her mind fantasized that his shaft was buried within her body.
“That’s it,” he murmured in her ear. “Imagine you are riding me, Lily.”
She moved her hips in counterpoint, and the rise of sensation overtook her, spiraling higher and higher. She was arching against him, her body trembling. He pressed against the pearl of her, and she felt the intensity gather into a ball of white-hot pleasure, spearing through her senses, until she sobbed against him.
“More,” he demanded, stroking and touching her until the shuddering broke over her, and she erupted in a breathtaking release. She was so wet against his fingers, her body spasming as he thrust and withdrew his hand.
Lily came a second time when he captured her mouth, kissing her hard as he penetrated her with his fingers and pressed against her center. A gasp escaped her, but he silenced her cries with his mouth, letting her ride out the storm of the orgasm.
What the Earl Needs Now (The Earls Next Door Book 2) Page 14
