Just Like Me

by Dani Hall

  “Well...you have to eat. Are you going to call them back?”

  “No, I’m just going to tie my hair back and wear a hoodie and some glasses or something.” I leaned over my bed and towards my desk. I pulled out a drawer and yanked out a huge pair of sunglasses Nori had picked out for me in a store.

  “Yea, these and a really baggie hoodie.”

  “I’ve got one you can borrow.”

  She hopped off her bed and skipped over to her closet, she tore through the hangers until she reached a jet black hoodie that was probably five sizes too big for me, and Lisa was considerably smaller than I was.

  “Here it is.” She said, yanking it out. “You can wear that if you go out.” She tossed it to me and I thanked her, laying it on the bed beside me.

  “I don’t know what to do, Lisa.” I said, smoothing the wrinkles out of the fabric of the hoodie. “I don’t want to do this. The guy’s a jerk.”

  “Oh God.” Lisa squealed. “You got to talk to him?”

  “He pretty much shoved his app-“ I popped the p like he had done. “In my face and said suck it. That’s how he said app, by the way. Popped his p like that.”

  “Oh man, that’s sexy. And I know what I’d be willing to-“

  “Lisa!” I put my hands tentatively over my ears. “God! I don’t want to hear that!”

  “Well.” She grimaced and looked at her phone, a text message lit up her screen. “Ben keeps texting me. He’s worried you’ll try to get me to like be a third wheel on your date or something.” She typed furiously back and hit send with a little extra energy. “The way he’s talking, you’d think I was begging you to take me with you.”

  She looked up at me, half smiling, almost half hopeful I’d suggest it.

  “The dude’s agent said he’d text me later today with details.” I quickly changed gears. “Apparently they’re flying me out somewhere tomorrow, a car is going to pick me up at some point and take me to an airport.”

  “That’s way hot.”

  “I guess.”

  There was a silence, both of us lost in thought over what had just transpired not even an hour before.

  “What was he like?” She finally asked, her voice hardly over a whisper.

  “Arrogant. Like I said. That cocky grin, he acted like he was something and he knew it.”

  “Was he hot?”

  I thought back to Taylor leaning back in his chair. A tight black shirt, showing off that he knew how to work out. Ripped jeans and sporty shoes. That dark hair cut close to his head, but long enough to give him an edge. And those brown eyes, man, the eyes that told you he knew that he could get what he wanted from you. Ugh, what am I doing?

  “Alright, I guess.”

  “Don’t you dare lie to me Kale Delaney!”

  “He was alright! He’s that…tall and dark type person. If you like that sort of thing, then yea, he’s hot.”

  “You’ve always liked tall and dark.”

  “Well…” I did. I didn’t want to admit it, but as cocky as Taylor was, he was smoking. “His attitude makes him ugly. Abs of steel have nothing on a mouth that says ‘I’m a jerk.’” She smirked at me.

  “You thought he was hot.”

  “Hotness and jerkiness shouldn’t mix. It should be one or the other.”

  “But he happens to be both.”

  I hated that cocky grin. I really did, I hate boys that think they can get anything they want with you. Add that to his popularity in the world…you had one recipe for disaster.

  “His agent said there’d be cameras following us around. Documenting our date, or something.”

  “Oh! You’ve got to wear something cute!”

  “Or something really trashy.”

  “Ugh, Kale.”

  “On that note…maybe I should ruin the whole thing.” Lisa looked horrified. “Yea…go in like…over-sized overalls and just sit there trash talking him the whole time. That’d be awesome!”

  “You’d get shot if you did that.”

  “Yea, and I’m pretty sure I just signed my life away saying I wouldn’t do that.”

  “What?”

  “They made me sign a contract that was like ten pages long. I’m pretty sure I just signed my soul away to the devil, but, I know I can’t trash talk him or talk to the media or anything like that.”

  “They made you sign a contract??”

  “Yea.”

  “Wow.”

  “And I think they asked for every detail about my life. I mean, it asked felonies and stuff like that.”

  “Thank God you don’t.”

  “I told him I was allergic to high altitudes and killed a celebrity. But he didn’t buy it.”

  “Oh my God! Yea, you wouldn’t have been able to fly on a plane with the altitude thing.” I gave her a look.

  “That’s what I was trying to imply. Maybe I could pretend to seize on the plane and sue. You think that’d work? Then I wouldn’t have to do the date, I bet. Or maybe they’d bring like dinner and a movie to the hospital room. They’re determined to do this thing.”

  “That’d be so funny watching you on T.V. a hospital gown with Taylor Jett. Freaking hilarious.”

  “Yea, to you.”

  “What all did he say?”

  “I just walked into the room, thinking I was alone. I almost started singing hallelujah at the quiet. Then I heard him say something behind me. I nearly jumped out of my skin.”

  “You didn’t even realize he was in there?”

  “I didn’t even recognize him at first.”

  “Kale!”

  “I didn’t! I turned around and thought the guy looked familiar. When he said I won the competition I tried talking my way out of it. I even offered to grab a random girl from the hall so she could win.”

  “Oh my God! Did he think you were cute?”

  “He looked kind of annoyed. But he said since the girl at the desk took my info everyone would already be notified. That’s when he showed me his app and then he peaced out. Didn’t seem to give a crap about me.”

  “So you don’t think he found you attractive?”

  I remembered the way his eyes had looked me up and down, almost carelessly.

  “No, I don’t think so. He didn’t like the fact that I wasn’t swooning over him.”

  “Man.” She frowned. “Maybe he is a jerk.”

  “Finally! Hallelujah!” We both fell back on our beds, laughing so hard we couldn’t breathe.

  Chapter Twelve

  Lisa got back from her last class about 3:45. She dropped her stuff on the floor and looked over at me. I was pathetically watching internet cats and on my laptop all day. Not going to class may seem awesome, but not when you’re trapped in a room and have absolutely nothing to do. I had finished my speech and was performing perfect within the first hour…and was stuck struggling to find something to do with the rest of my time.

  “You look like death.” She said, plopping down in her desk chair. I shot her a look. “I mean, wow, nice cat.”

  She looked at my screen which showed an incredibly adorable kitten trying to pop a bubble. I shrugged.

  “This is what I’ve debased myself to. Looking at kittens on the internet. I have no life.”

  “You do…now.” I didn’t let the weight of her words get to me.

  “I’m starving. I didn’t go outside to get lunch.”

  “Why not?”

  “I don’t know, I’m scared the hoodie thing won’t work.”

  “Want to gather your gaggle of guards?” She paused. “Whoa, check me out. That almost sounded poetic.”

  “Yea, not like you’re an English major or anything.”

  She stuck her tongue out at me.

  “Alright, Mrs. Smarty Pants. You wanna eat in the caf?”

  “You think it will be crowded?”

  She glanced at the clock on the stand next to my bed.

  “It starts getting crowded around five or six. You could always just eat popcorn and hotdogs at the mov
ies.” I made a face. “Ok…then caf it is?”

  “Yea, if I eat any more Bert’s my arteries will explode.”

  “All that fat running through your veins…ugh, why do we ever agree to eat there?”

  “Because while it’s going down it’s delicious. But afterwards…all you do is regret it.”

  “Yea, no freaking kidding.”

  I got up and looked unwillingly at the black hoodie that was still tossed on my bed. I pulled it on and glanced at the mirror.

  “Man, I look like a cow.”

  “Silly goose, cows have spots.” Lisa pulled her purse off the floor and took her I.D. card and keys from its depths.

  “I look like a cow without spots.”

  “Yea, I could see that.”

  I grabbed my I.D. and keys off the desk and shoved them into my hoodie pocket. I flipped the hood on and glanced in the mirror. I put on the enormous sunglasses. I turned and flashed a few poses for Lisa.

  “What do you think?”

  “I think I don’t even recognize you.”

  “Yea, but seriously. Do I look like the picture on the T.V?”

  “Oh man…” She glanced at my pockets. “Your I.D…don’t show that to anyone.”

  “Aw crap.” I whipped the I.D. back out of my pocket. “You think the lady that scans the I.D. would say anything?”

  “I don’t know…I don’t think she would. If so…I’ll be your body guard.” She puffed out her chest and flexed her skinny arms. “I could take down a heart sick group of girls, no prob.”

  “Yea, sure. You make me feel so much better, Lisa.”

  “Well…I doubt she’d even think about it.”

  I glanced in the mirror again, swirling around and getting different angles. I flipped the hoodie back and pulled my hair up.

  “I’m going to look like a weirdo in the caf.”

  “Well, we don’t have to eat there. We can grab our food and go. Where would they not expect you to eat? In our dorm?”

  “If I spend another minute in here I’ll hurl.”

  “Ok…how about the tables outside of the coffee house? Nobody hardly ever eats there, they just hang there after dark to gossip.”

  I finally agreed to that and we left the room and headed out of the building. I made sure my hood was up and kept glancing nervously at people as they passed.

  “What if this doesn’t work?” I hissed to Lisa. She gritted her teeth and didn’t move her lips as she replied.

  “Act normal and no one will even notice.”

  But my heart was still pounding. Everywhere I looked it seemed there was a girl that was gossiping about me.

  “Oh my God. Do you even know her? That Kale girl?”

  “I heard they banged in the room before anyone found out.”

  “I think she’s a senior, isn’t she?”

  “I heard she didn’t even recognize his face!”

  “I don’t even think she’s seen a zombie movie.”

  “Do you know her?”

  “Have you heard about her?”

  I kept pulling my hoodie further down over my face, grimacing at comment after comment. I caught Lisa glaring at girls as we passed them, she was getting pissed.

  “Who the hell do they think they are, talking about you like that?” She shook her head, tightening her fist. “I’d like to punch one, which one’s pissing you off the most?”

  “Hush, Lisa.” I whispered, glancing around wondering if anyone heard her. No one acknowledged us and we finally reached the cafeteria. I got a couple of odd glances, but for the most part, people were used to seeing weirdoes in hoodies and sunglasses walking around. Maybe the coffee house guy had started a trend.

  When we got in line, I took my I.D. out and carefully hid the picture side. Lisa kept glancing at me.

  “Want me to get in line first?”

  I nodded, shoving her in front of me. I wasn’t sure how that helped, but it made me feel better. She looked back at me, her eyes slit, but handed the cashier her I.D. The cashier swiped it through quickly and was already reaching for mine.

  I handed it over, she glanced at it quickly, sliding it through, and already had her hand out for the next card in line.

  Lisa and I grinned at each other like we were ninjas as we grabbed to-go boxes and cups and headed over to the food.

  “Yes!” She whispered, just so I could hear it. I gave her a warning look, and glanced around the cafeteria, wondering what I wanted to eat. Lisa was whispering again. “I wonder what you’ll eat tomorrow night.” I gave her a death glare, and finally got in line for a grilled cheese sandwich. She stayed in line with me.

  “You want a sandwich?” I asked, looking unconvinced at her.

  “Sure.”

  “You don’t like cheese.”

  “I’m staying with you, alright?”

  “We’ll get in another line for whatever you want to eat.” I promised, stepping up and taking a sandwich and putting in my to-go box. I stepped over to the green beans and piled them on my plate, then added macaroni and cheese. Odd selections, but hey, it’s what I like.

  I then turned and followed Lisa as she grabbed fried chicken, fries, and corn.

  “Starch, starch, starch.” I muttered, as we made our way over to the fountain drinks. She shrugged, putting her cup up and getting some sweet tea. I grabbed water. Curse her and her amazing metabolism.

  “You’re a weirdo for not drinking soda.”

  “Out of all the things in the past couple of hours, I don’t think this is my weirdest quality.” I fenced.

  “Good point.”

  We capped our drinks, grabbed utensils, and made our way to the exit.

  “So far, so good.” She whispered.

  We pushed our way back through the cafeteria door and out into the lobby, quickly walked out of the building and onto the sidewalk. Students were crammed in the building, standing in line at the smoothie spot, gossiping in the hall, playing video games. In this room, it was hard to believe I was even in college. The way everyone was having a good time, you’d think this was just a hangout spot. Not a university lounge.

  “She didn’t even look at your I.D.!” She whispered excitedly, as we finally hit fresh air. I love Lisa, but I really wish she’d try to hold her excitement sometimes.

  “Lisa…”

  “No one’s paying attention to you.” She muttered, picking up her pace along the sidewalk. We passed building after building until finally making it to the coffee house, which was next to the pond and bridge. There were trees that lined the pond, dying from the upcoming cold. Leaves scattered around the painted brick sidewalk, the last crumbles of their lives blowing in the wind. Tables lined in between the coffee house and the pond, we sat at a middle one.

  We popped open our boxes, sighing with relief. My hoodie was getting uncomfortable on top of my head in the warm weather. I rolled up my sleeves and grabbed for a fork. I speared a green bean while Lisa started for her fries.

  “So much starch. Fries and corn? And not to mention the batter on that chicken.”

  “Shu uh.” She sprayed, her mouth full of ketchup and saliva soaked fries. Ugh.

  “Didn’t your mother ever tell you not to talk with your mouth open?”

  She opened her lips wide, revealing the contents of her mouth.

  “Real mature, Lisa.”

  She giggled evilly, finally swallowing her food. She started pushing corn around on her plate.

  “So what are you going to do tomorrow on your date?”

  I glared at her.

  “What? You could be on a date with anyone, with those shades on.”

  “We need a code name.” I said, nibbling a bite of sandwich. Some of the crust was burnt. Yuck.

  “Yea, good idea.” She chewed on fried chicken, looking towards the sky. When she looked up she was thinking hard. “How about Mr. Black?”

  “Did you just pull that out of your ass?”

  “No. I did a relation thing.” She rubbed grease off from
the chicken on her napkin. “Je-umm. The last name…compared to planes. Planes are white. White is the opposite of black. So…Mr. Black.”

  “Lisa…how can you describe black?”

  “Off black, pitch black…je-“ She stopped herself before she said it. “Oh. Well, that’s a lot closer relation. What about this. He plays a zombie right.”

  I widened my eyes at her, unable to believe she just blurted that out.

  “Sorry, but he’s like a dude that raises himself from the dead. So he’s Jesus.” She shrugged, happy with her conclusion. “Call him Jesus.”

  “Sure, I’m going to go see Jesus tomorrow, Lisa.”

  “…Ok, that didn’t work out like I thought it would.”

  We both ate more, puzzling over a good code name for Jett.

  “Zachary…something…was a president, right?”

  “Right.”

  “So…Zach?”

  “Yea, that’s a pretty common name. I don’t think anyone would link the two.”

  “Right. So, Zach?”

  “Yea. So…what are you and Zach going to do you think?”

  I shrugged.

  “I don’t know. Dinner I guess, no telling what else.”

  Different pictures sidled through my head. I pictured a vast theater with a long red carpet. Celebrities in long dresses and suits, all dolled up, ready to see some famous play. I’d wear something like them, almost blend in, and have one of those ridiculous little binocular things to watch from the top row. They’d sing in Italian, and I wouldn’t know a thing they were saying, but I’d understand the story anyway. I may even cry.

  I pictured a tropical island. While things were getting cold here, we’d be flown to some beach where we’d enjoy surf and sand, cold drinks. I pictured myself lying on a beach in a nice chair, sipping on an iced coffee and watching the sun go down. I would have a wide-brimmed hat and look absolutely absurd. But I wouldn’t care.

  Maybe there will be a ball. An enormous ball where women would wear gowns the size of four people, and it would be sparkling and golden, and maybe it’ll be a masquerade. People will wear shiny sequined masks that match their outfits. And I will be just as bizarre, wearing a long gown and mask, dancing around slowly, actually fitting in with some life I’d never cared for.

  All of it is absolutely illogical, of course. I had never fancied for any life like that. But it’s fun to think about the possibilities. To imagine a life I’ve never known.