That’s no way to live your life.
Justin and I went back to his place after the movie last night, and I more than made up for the disaster that happened last time. No medics were needed this time, thank God.
The girls and I pull into the parking lot and a part of me just doesn’t want to go in. I don’t want to play pretend. It’s not even my job, it’s the people there. I don’t want to pretend that Justin and I aren’t together. I don’t want to pretend that I’m not tempted to pry Jeremy’s eyes out of their sockets at every restaurant we’re together in. It’s draining constantly trying to be someone you aren’t.
Mel loops her arm through mine as we walk toward the employee building. “One day at a time, babe.”
“Thanks. I just don’t know how much longer I can do this crap.” I lean my head on her shoulder.
“Well, at least for today. I mean, we are already here.” Both of us start to laugh. “If you ever want to trade places, I’d much rather be adored than have little kids hate me everywhere I go.”
“Very true. At least my shins are bruise-free.” I wink at her and give her a hug before walking back to my part of the dressing areas.
My enemy is staring me right in my face.
That damn pink dress.
It’s like all the cheap rhinestones are mocking me.
I take a deep breath and slip into it, immediately twenty degrees hotter than I was before.
All the people at the park walk around fanning themselves and complaining about the heat. Part of me just wants to tell them to shut up because I’m wearing fifty pounds of tacky tulle. I have never been someone who enjoyed the hot weather.
The heat is definitely another reason I’m thankful for the role I have. I can’t imagine being one of the people wearing a full costume like the fur animals. Imagine how that shit reeks after a day in the hot sun. I don’t know what would be worse, having to work all day in it or sharing it with someone else’s stench.
I fluff my hair a little and slap on some more lip gloss before giving myself a once-over in the mirror. Princess perfect, or at least as close as I’ll ever get.
Walking out of the room, Jeremy is standing there and all I can do is sigh in aggravation. “What is it this time? Just in case you didn’t know the constant itching and redness isn’t normal.” Damn manwhore.
“Real funny. Anyway, I just wanted to tell you that you need to pull your weight more, although I guess that’s hard for you.” He smirks.
Bastard.
“Are you serious? I don’t know what the hell your problem is, but last time I looked your six pack was gone and you look more like you fit into the dad bod category. Except for the fact that no respectable woman would ever touch you with a ten-foot pole.”
“Well, I can’t argue with you there. I mean, you were with me and we both know you are as far from respectable as it gets.” He smiles at me.
I’m about to lay into his Abercrombie ass when I hear a voice from behind me.
“You need to back off and walk away now.” The voice is laced with anger and it sounds as if the words were spoken through clenched teeth.
I turn, already knowing who it is. Justin is standing behind me. This whole defending my honor would be so much hotter if the guy liner and bandana weren’t already in place.
“Oh, yeah, and what’s it to you? In fact, what are you even doing over here? Your kind belongs in the back of the building where no one has to look at you.” Jeremy narrows his eyes at Justin.
“She’s my girlfriend, and there is no way in hell that I’ll put up with you talking to her like that. You need to leave before you’re not capable of making any public appearances today.” Justin moves in front of me.
Damn.
My cover is officially blown.
“Wait a minute,” Jeremy says with the biggest smile on his face. “You two?” His fingers wave at Justin and me. “You’re together?” A loud, obnoxious laugh leaves his mouth. “This is the best thing I’ve heard in a long time.” He walks away, his laughter slowly dying out.
I’m so screwed.
“He act like that all the time?”
“Pretty much. It’s engrained in him to act like an entitled prick.” I shrug. I’m trying to act like I’m not internally freaking out, but I am.
Everyone is going to know. I will be the laughing stock of the whole park, again. That is the last thing I need, especially after I’ve finally been cleaning up my act.
“Well, thanks for being my…” I look at him. “I was totally gonna say knight in shining armor, but it doesn’t fit at all.”
“Yeah, well, hopefully he stays away.” He looks back.
My hands slip around his neck. “You know, this would have been so much hotter without the costume. I was going to thank you right now, but I think I’ll need to postpone that till tonight.”
“Arrrrrr, I’ll swab your deck right now if you want me to.” He arches an eyebrow at me.
“Yep, definitely to be continued.” I let go of him, taking a couple steps back. “Well, I need to get out there before Ethan comes to find me.” I give Justin a quick kiss on the lips before I almost run away.
I pull out my phone to already see four texts.
Melanie: People found out somehow…
Melanie: You okay?
Dani: Shit finally hit the fan.
Dani: You planning to hang yourself from the castle? Should I call the hot EMTs?
Just great.
I spend the rest of the day hearing laughs as I walk by.
I am the spectacle that everyone can’t get enough of.
I climb into my car and let my head fall against the seat. “Please tell me that today was some big joke.”
“Nope, sorry, love. I mean, trust me when I say there were tons of jokes, but today really happened.” Dani pats me on the shoulder.
My phone buzzes and I look down at it to see Justin’s name. I don’t feel like talking to anyone, so I ignore it and shift my car into drive.
“Don’t you feel better now that you’re not trying to hide it from everyone?” Melanie says from the back seat.
“Nope. Not at all. I was content to be in my little bubble for at least another couple weeks. It was sure better than what’s going on now. Every time I walked past a group of people they stopped talking. That’s the universal sign for, ‘no one likes you and we’re talking about how much.’”
The girls don’t say much else about it. Even they know when I have hit my bullshit limit for the day. My phone buzzes with a text as I walk into the apartment, but I don’t even bother pulling it out of my purse. I know it’s Justin.
I really don’t want to be a bitch to him, but right now I just want to shower and pass out. I get that he was having my back today and I appreciate that to an extent. It just caused me such a shit storm that I was not ready to deal with. I had finally gotten myself back on track and now I’m a damn leper.
My shower never felt better as I let the hot water wash away all the aggravation running rampant through me. Hopefully, everything will blow over in a few days and then they will find a new scandal. I wonder how many sick days I have and if you can just take like a sick week.
The bathroom door opens and I groan. “Can’t a girl just get a peaceful shower?”
“I’d be all about that if your lover boy wasn’t sitting in our living room,” Dani says, and I freeze.
Peeking my head out of the shower, I stare at her face, trying to see if she is just messing with me. “You’re serious?”
“Yep, so you better get dressed.” She walks out, and I have never wanted to stay in the shower more.
Why can’t men take hints?
I step out of the shower and head into my room, throwing on some sweats and a comfy T-shirt. This was not a planned date, so I get to dress like a bum if I want to.
“Hey,” I say as I walk into the living room.
Justin turns around and smiles at me.
“Wanna come talk?” I ask, h
oping that it will be a short one.
He gets up and says goodbye to the girls before following me. Once we get to my room I close the door. I know if I don’t that Tweedledee and Tweedledum will be listening to every word.
I plop down on my bed, mentally and physically exhausted. A part of me is irritated that he’s even here. I mean, when someone doesn’t answer your phone call it’s not an invitation to come over.
“So what’s up?” I look over at him.
“I just wanted to see how you were after today. I know that a lot of people were talking.”
“Yeah, thanks for that, by the way.” I give him a sarcastic smile.
I know that I’m about to sabotage myself. I’m irritated, tired, and just don’t want to deal with any of this. As irrational as it is I’m mad at him, which is exactly why I didn’t answer the phone.
“What are you talking about?” He leans against the wall behind him.
“I’m talking about the fact that you outed us and made me the laughing stock of the park.” I sit up. “I appreciate the whole defending me thing, but if you haven’t noticed I can take care of myself.”
“Really? You’re pissed at me for telling that dick that he couldn’t talk to you the way that he was?” His eyes narrow and his body goes stiff.
“Yeah, because in doing that you completely tanked my reputation and everything that I have been working so hard on cleaning up.” I wave my hand in the air.
“How in the hell did I tank your reputation?”
Don’t do it.
I try to remind myself not to be a bitch, but I can already feel it coming out. “Don’t pretend like you don’t know that you guys are at the bottom of the totem pole. As soon as you announced that we were together I was screwed and now I’m getting shunned by everyone. I finally started fixing all of the shit that went wrong after Jeremy and I broke up and now that was all for nothing.”
“Wow, you are unbelievable.” He pushes off the wall and shoves his hands in his pockets. “I’ll make it easy for you. No need for you to be embarrassed by us because we’re done.”
With that, he turns away from me and slams my door as he leaves.
Regret instantly fills my entire body.
I want to go after him and apologize. I didn’t want to hurt him. I know what I said was wrong and it wasn’t fair, but it’s why I didn’t want to talk to him tonight. I needed to get my head on straight and because I didn’t this happened.
My door opens and Melanie pops her head in. “I’m guessing things didn’t go great?”
“Nope, I screwed it up as usual.” I fall back down on the bed, praying that I’ll wake up tomorrow and get a do-over on this whole day.
I wake up in the morning thanking God that I am off work today. If I had to go to work I don’t know that I’d make it through the day in one piece.
My phone buzzes beside me and I see a text from Dani.
Dani: Grab some food at the store, the cupboards are bare.
Well, at least I have something I can do with my day instead of sitting around the house sulking. I stand up and start to get dressed, but I can’t even look at myself in the mirror. I feel terrible about the way I acted last night. I had sent Justin a text saying I was sorry, but he didn’t reply. Not that I could blame him. I’d hate me too.
I head over to the grocery store and decide that today I’m going to try and distract myself. That all goes down the drain once I walk into the produce section. This is where I met him. Who would ever think that looking at vegetables could make you want to cry?
Screw it. I’ll buy canned crap today.
I guess a part of me didn’t realize how much I liked him until I screwed it up. I throw a bunch of stuff in my cart and decide to get out of here as quickly as I can. Today is a pajamas and ice cream day.
Once I get everything put away I plop on the couch and decide to have a sappy movie marathon. I never watch these dumb movies because let’s face it I’m not the touchy-feely kind of person. Today I know that these love-struck idiots are the only ones who can relate to me right now.
Grabbing my pint of chocolate chip cookie dough ice cream, I commit myself to eating the whole thing and not feeling guilty about it at all.
***
The girls come walking in just as I’m finishing The Notebook. I’m sitting on the couch bawling my eyes out, still in my pink fuzzy pajamas.
Dani looks over at me and her eyes widen. “Mel, I think it’s worse than we thought. She’s officially hit rock bottom.”
Melanie sits down next to me. “Is it that bad that you decided to drown yourself in Nicholas Sparks?”
“He totally gets me,” I say, half sniffling. “I mean, you try and try, and then everything just falls apart.” I break down again.
“Okay.” Dani turns off the TV. “You need a serious reality check. You were a bitch. It happens. He isn’t dead, he hasn’t lost all memories of you, and you aren’t dying. Go back to work tomorrow, hunt the captain down, and tell him you’re sorry and you didn’t take your meds yesterday.”
I look up at her. “I texted him twice and he hasn’t answered.”
“Okay, well, don’t text him again ’cause then he might need to get a restraining order. Talk to him tomorrow when you’ve showered, brushed your hair, and you aren’t wearing day old pajamas.” She grabs my hand and pulls me up so I’m standing. “Now go shower and wash the grime and ice cream off.”
I do what she says and hope that when I do try and find Justin tomorrow he’ll talk to me. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not one of those idiots who fall in love in a couple days, but I just didn’t see how much I liked him until I screwed this whole thing up.
Sure, I was depressed when things ended with Jeremy, but I think that was more annoyance at the way it ended. We were together so much longer than Justin and me, but I didn’t have even half the feelings for him. When I get back to my room I can’t help but stare at the phone that’s taunting me on my dresser.
Why do I feel the need to text and call him until he answers?
Dani is right. If I don’t watch it I’m going to end up with a restraining order against me.
I walk back into the living room and sit down.
“Feel better?” Mel looks over at me.
“Not really, but I definitely smell better. I guess I just didn’t realize how bad it would feel to have him walk away. I knew what I was doing when I said that stuff to him. I knew it was wrong and that I was sabotaging myself, but it was like I couldn’t stop myself.” I shake my head, remembering how mad and upset he looked when I said those things to him.
“Hopefully you can talk to him tomorrow and work things out.” She rubs my back.
“Thanks. I’m so dreading going back there tomorrow.” I shake my head. “I think what I liked most about being with Justin is that the everyday bullshit didn’t bother me as much. He made me happy and helped me forget about my problems.”
I just hope that when I try to talk to him he doesn’t blow me off.
“Now remember to play it cool today,” Melanie says as we pull into the lot.
“Which means that you don’t pretend like you spent all of yesterday completely pathetic. Be strong. You are a woman.” Dani nudges me, and I smile at her.
Walking into work, I just try to keep my head down. I know that there is no way the scandal has died down and I don’t feel like dealing with anyone. I get dressed and stay in my part of the building until I absolutely have to leave. I don’t want to run into anyone.
Aside from trying to talk to Justin, I plan to do nothing but my job today. Not that anyone wants to interact with me.
“Kate!” I turn around to see Ethan.
Please, God, don’t demote me, today of all days.
“I just wanted to let you know that I have seen the effort you have been putting forward and I’m satisfied that you can handle being the princess.” He smiles at me.
“Oh, thanks!” I breathe a sigh of relief that something has gone
my way today.
“No problem. Keep up the good work.” Ethan walks away, and I pull out my phone, sending a text to Dani and Melanie
Not getting demoted to a dumb fairy! Woohoo!
I almost want to break out in a happy dance, but I don’t.
My phone buzzes.
Melanie: Yay! Congrats, Princess!
Dani: You know, you could stop insulting me and my people at some point…
I walk out into the park and it feels like one of those cheesy movies. The kind where they walk out into the sun and smile at it like they’ve never seen it before. Everything just seems optimistic right now. I’m hoping that when I go to see Justin my good luck streak keeps up.
I work my way through numerous meet and greets without any snarky comments. When lunch time comes I head into the staff building and look around for Justin. I was hoping that he might get a break around the same time that I did. No such luck.
I grab my tray and find Melanie sitting at a table. “Hey! How’s your day been? Seen any woodland creatures?”
“Oh my God. I thought you forgot about that.” Melanie’s face drops.
“Nope, but I’m totally not making fun of you for it. That counts for something.” I smile.
“You’re in a good mood. That’s nice instead of your normal scowl.” She throws her roll at me and both of us laugh.
I take a bite. “After lunch, I think I’m going to take a walk over to The Seven Seas and see if I can get Justin to talk to me.”
“Well, good luck with going into enemy territory.”
I look around us and see the majority of people looking my way and whispering. “This whole place is enemy territory lately. I was hoping that maybe they would have found something more interesting to talk about.”
“I mean, the park royalty dating the leftovers that no one wanted? I don’t know that anything will top that for a while.”
I look at her, shocked that Melanie would say something like that.
“Hey, not my words.” She shrugs.
“Whatever, go get lost in some bushes.” I wink at her before getting up, excited to try and work things out with Justin.
Kiss My Crown Page 7
