Finding Thyme

by TJ Hamilton

  I can’t help but think about the boss’s statement. “So you mean Sally had to die? Is that the kind of it had to happen that you’re referring to?” I say aloud.

  I hear Nick exhale—in annoyance, no doubt. I know Nick would hate me speaking out of turn with the boss right now, but these guys can’t be serious? They just play with people’s lives like it’s some kind of game?

  The boss gives me a stern look. “There’s something far more sinister waiting to occur—all thanks to the Principal. We are yet to discover what the details are, however.” He clears his throat and glances at Nick, then back to me. “We have information from Russia that he’s been moving in and out of their country more frequently than normal. We also know that he has some relatives within the Russian organised crime gang, Bratva. But there are pieces missing. That’s where you come in, Miss Thyme. No one has ever got as close to the Principal as you have. He doesn’t let anyone into his circle anymore.”

  I feel myself getting very annoyed. What the hell am I actually doing here? I don’t owe them anything, nor do they own me! I shift slightly in my chair and then feel the blue of Nick’s eyes shoot through me. My heart skips a beat.

  “Mia, you can have anything you want when this is all over,” Nick adds.

  I glare at him. The things I want can’t be bought. Like Sally, she’s dead. I can’t get her back. And what about a bit of normality in my life? Where I’m heading there seems to be very little of that.

  “A normal life?” I question, knowing it’s not something they can give me.

  “We can give you a new life, Mia,” the boss says. “We can give you a whole new identity and we can send you anywhere you want to go to start over again.” My attempt at asking for the impossible is easily met and the boss leans back into his chair in triumph.

  “You always talked about starting over again one day,” Nick weighs in on the pitch.

  “Yeah, by starting a life outside of prostitution! Not by moving to another country and becoming another person!” I can’t help but feel a little excited by the idea of it, though. “And what about Sally?” My voice cracks slightly when I say her name out loud. “Does anyone want to tell me what happened to her and why?”

  The boss looks down at his hands and sighs before he looks back up. “Sally knew too much. She knew what Tench was doing. We heard the message she left you. We’ve been trying to follow that lead but very little has come of it. We actually need your services,” he finishes.

  My eyes narrow at his use of the word services. I see Nick shift in his seat. He knows me too well.

  “An interesting choice of words, sir. Of course you need my services. I haven’t met too many men who don’t!” My eyes scan across to Nick. That includes you too, buddy, I snigger within. Nick shakes his head. His eyes rest back onto me and soften empathically.

  “Mia, I will tell you everything about Sally. I promised you I would. I will tell you everything you need to know about Joe Tench too. After you finish this psychometric test today, you and I are going back to your place to go over everything. Alone.”

  An internal excitement reaches a little peak at Nick’s use of the word alone. I shouldn’t feel excitement when discussing Sally or Tench, but with Nick I can’t help it.

  “Alone alone?” I frown at Nick.

  The boss is not happy at our negotiation. His glaring scowl towards Nick is definite and pronounced. “I’ll take you through for testing now, Thyme.”

  I don’t want to leave Nick’s side. This is the longest that I have been around him for weeks, and I crave more.

  I watch the back of the commander’s head bob in front of me as he leads me through a series of glassed corridors, away from his office … and Nick. As we walk, I see open offices spanning out either side of the glassed corridor, while other corridors have thick-concreted walls.

  We arrive at another set of elevators and the doors open up in perfect timing to our arrival. We step in and remain stationary, waiting to go down.

  When we finally stop, a thick set of doors slowly slides open in unison with the steel elevator doors. The heavy grind of stone on stone makes me wonder how far down into the earth we might actually be.

  The commander doesn’t gesture for me to go ahead of him like Nick would. Instead he storms out and I’m apparently supposed to follow, which I do. It’s a few degrees colder than before and there’s a damp smell in the air. The air feels thick, like there’s no natural air at all. Maybe we are down underground after all. I wish I knew. I hate when I start to feel uncomfortable, and I can feel the signs creeping over me now. Sweaty armpits, rampant mouth and lucid mind … or is it the other way around? Rampant mind and lucid mouth?

  I try desperately to stop my thoughts from wandering and remind myself that I’m about to sit one of the most important tests of my life. I shake my head and squeeze my eyes shut for a brief moment. I hear a silent yet deafening sound surrounding my ears. My eyes jerk open and I stop dead in my tracks.

  The commander also stops a few metres ahead and glances back at me. A moment passes before I realise that I’m involuntarily standing still. My eyes frantically scan around the room but cease as I’m drawn back to the stark change in the commander’s dull grey eyes. A smirk releases itself across his face momentarily until it is reined in by his professionalism once again. He turns and starts walking down the heavily concreted corridor. I have no idea what that sound was, or what he was smiling at.

  He stops at a door and pushes it open, then holds it out and gestures for me to walk through. The room has an unusual smell to it. I wonder why I smell so many scents that normally wouldn’t bother me. It’s probably because I was holed up in that apartment for so long, and now I can actually smell the outside world again. I look around the glaringly white room. In the centre is a large table overflowing with cables snaking their way towards a computer.

  I gather this is where I’ll be sitting the test. No way is this sterile looking room going to help me calm my nerves! I feel like there’s no possibility of doing well in this test even if I tried my hardest. This setting just doesn’t allow it. I close my eyes for a moment and picture Nick’s soft lips on mine.

  I lick my lips and imagine the taste of him again. What has this guy got over me? I need to stop this shit! Seriously! But imagining Nick is just what I need to calm down. He’s my perfect distraction. My wicked thoughts may be getting a little out of control, but I was a prostitute. A sex worker. I had sex all the time. Now I have none! My breathing becomes shallow as I imagine Nick on top of me, his strong body above mine.

  “Thyme?” The commander’s voice rudely interrupts my rampant mind.

  “What?” I reply in frustration.

  I open my eyes to find him standing beside the desk, looking unimpressed with my insubordination towards him. Definitely rampant mind and lucid mouth!

  The boss holds up a cap with wires leading out of it in every direction. “We will be monitoring your brain activity during the entire test.” He steps towards me, the strange science cap in his hands.

  “Great,” I reply, sarcastically. I can’t help but get visions of Medusa with that thing on my head.

  “We’ll also be monitoring your cardiac rhythm so you’ll need to put on one of the specially designed vests in the room at the back. Follow the instructions to help get into it.” He points towards a door at the rear of the room and as soon as I enter it, I find the black vest hanging up on a hook. It’s made of a thick wetsuit material and has wires fringing the bottom of it. I take it off the hook and read the instructions on the metal sign below.

  1. Remove all clothing that covers torso.

  2. Place arms in each hole with the back of the vest against shoulders.

  3. Hold middle of vest inwards until it automatically connects with an audible click.

  4. Inhale and remain still.

  5. You will feel a cool sensation around the left side of your chest from the sensa-gel.

  6. Vest should cover entire to
rso.

  Sounds easy enough. I take my jacket, top and bra off and throw each of them on the bench under the hook. I look around the white room to find where the cameras are. There are none that I can see. I look back up at the sign and see a small hole in the middle of the letter O.

  I raise my brow and wink towards the camera. Dirty bunch of perverts! I pull the vest on and hold the two sides towards one another as instructed. I hear the click and feel the subsequent wetness covering my entire left breast.

  How I’m supposed to focus on the test with all this bullshit going on is beyond me! I pick up my bag and head out of the change room towards the commander, who’s standing beside a steel chair for me to sit in.

  “You need to hand your bag over to me, Thyme,” he says without any emotion in his voice.

  I slide my bag strap off my shoulder and throw it in irritation at him. Why are they making this so difficult? I take a seat and wiggle around in the chair for a moment before I find it comfortable. I inhale the heavy air around me and silently plead for my intellect to get this right. This room is so quiet it’s deafening!

  The commander places the cap on my head and connects all the cables to both the cap and the vest. Once he’s completed connecting me like a robotic mythical creature, he makes his way back to the door that we entered through.

  “Can I have just one request?” I ask before he reaches the door, hoping that I haven’t offended the boss … again.

  “What is it, Thyme?” he says, metres away from me.

  “Can I listen to some music while I do this test? I can’t concentrate without it … I have an iPod in my bag?” My questions sound full of desperate hope.

  “We don’t allow for that, Thyme.”

  I am never going to do well on this test. That’s what they wanted! They wanted me to fail all along. That’s why they locked me in my ivory tower for so long!

  “You have two hours, Thyme. Begin as soon as you’re ready, and the two hour timer will count down upon your first keystroke.”

  I smile as sweetly as possible at the commander and watch him close the door in front of me. I snort and shake my head. Have they got all day? Because that’s about how long it’s going to take me to get comfortable in this room!

  I look at the blank computer screen in front of me and start humming the tune to The Bamboos “I Got Burned,” the song’s beat playing inside my head. I close my eyes and nod in time to my imaginary music. I start to sing the high-pitched chorus of the song, and sway to my mind’s continuing beat. I really sing out the high you and hold it in a long single note. I can’t sing to save myself but I need to get in the zone right now and this is the best way for me to achieve that, and I don’t give a fuck what anyone thinks of me right now.

  “Alright, Mia, I get the picture.” The surprising sound of Nick’s voice stops any more of the song from coming out of my mouth.

  I half open my eyes to see if I’m just hearing things and see Nick frowning at me with my iPod in his hands. Where did he come from? I smile at him but my smile goes unappreciated. Nick holds out the iPod as his brows pull inward.

  “What?” I shrug.

  As if I meant for this to happen. I was just getting in my zone … but now that Nick’s here in front of me, I can’t help but be pleased with the outcome and yet I feel insecure all of a sudden. I slowly take the headphones and iPod from his hand.

  One of his fingers lightly touches my palm and the sensation makes me want to just rip his clothes off. My stomach feels the fluttering presence of the butterfly that I’ve been missing for so long. Our eyes don’t part and his subtle smirk makes me wonder if he’s thinking what I am right now. I shake my head and try and focus my deviant mind back to the test that I’m supposed to be sitting in any moment.

  Nick turns and leaves the room without saying another word and I put the headphone buds in each ear and find “I Got Burned”. The guitar riff rips away and I sway once again to an actual beat.

  The computer screen comes to life in front of me as soon as I touch the silver remote keyboard. I feel the stickiness of sweat building up all over my body as I try to answer these ridiculous looking questions that pop up one after another on the screen.

  Some questions have a series of boxes in different shapes and I’m supposed to see a pattern and identify the next box out of four possible answers. They all look pretty stupid, if you ask me! I can’t find anything remotely resembling a pattern amongst them. This is useless! I’m getting annoyed and frustrated with each question, so I rush my way through it just to get it done. I don’t care anymore.

  I don’t need to be here. I don’t need any of this. Not even Nick. As soon as they tell me I’m too stupid to work for them, I’m going to catch the next flight out of this country!

  “Question 143: What’s the equivalent to a stick of butter?” What the hell kind of a question is that? These guys are taking me for a ride, surely!

  After I answer all two hundred questions, I still have twenty-three minutes to go according to the countdown on the screen. I lean back in the chair and sigh with relief that the stupid test is finally over.

  I turn my music off and wait for whoever is observing me to come into the room. I watch the clock on the screen wind down to zero. Why has no one come into the room yet? Why am I still waiting twenty minutes later?

  After a week in solitary confinement at the apartment, twenty hours is a piece of cake. I put my headphones back in and hit the shuffle button. Beethoven’s 9th Symphony begins to trill away. Perfect, this should take up a good ten minutes of my time. I close my eyes and think of the first time Nick and I kissed, just like I’ve done for the past few weeks to help get me through the days, and get over Tench. Music and my mind have been the perfect escape.

  My thoughts blissfully drift off to a place of complete happiness.

  FOUR

  I feel like someone is watching me so I peek out of one eye. Between my lashes I see Nick standing beside the opened door. I open the other eye and smile, but my smile is cut short when I realise Nick is not smiling back at me. Not even close.

  He is angry. I can see it in his eyes. His face gives nothing else away, but I know him and I know the angry look he gets. I tilt my head to the side and frown, wondering what’s wrong.

  “Get changed out of the vest then come with me, Mia,” he commands, without even a hint of civility.

  I get out of my seat and do as he says. Nick doesn’t turn around to see if I’m actually following him. Did I really stuff up so bad in the testing that they’ve found they can’t train me after all? Well here’s hoping!

  Nick enters the code into the elevator keypad and waits with his back to me. When the elevator arrives, he holds his arm over the door for me to go ahead. He glares at me with so much anger I can barely look at him. His look makes me feel so small and insecure. I don’t know what’s wrong with him but I know it mustn’t be good. He leans against the wall opposite me and continues to stare for the entire elevator trip back up to the agency.

  “What’s wrong?” I finally ask when it feels like too many uncomfortable minutes have passed.

  Nick gives me nothing. No reply. Nothing. He takes his eyes off me for a moment and looks up at the climbing numbers on the electronic display above the elevator doors.

  I frown in frustration and let out a small huff. I guess I really have fucked things up then. That will be the last time I ever come back to this city again. I think I’ll go to my twin brother Simon’s house first before I head out of Australia and into my newfound freedom. That way if Nick wants to find me he can, but going by the look of him right now, I won’t be anticipating his arrival anytime soon! I know he feels something for me, though. I can see it in his eyes, somewhere behind the rage. I’ve seen men become obsessed with me, I know the look they get in their eyes, but this is more than that. I think he feels the same way I do for him.

  The elevator slows to a stop before the laser hits us from above again. Nick’s eyes refuse to leave me
. I decide I just need to look away or else I’ll go crazy. I anticipate the doors opening so I turn away to face them. I can still feel him watching me.

  Yep, I’ve really fucked up the test. Nick holds the doors open again and I walk past and feel him trailing metres behind me. As we approach the main double door of the commander’s office, Nick finally decides to speak. “Allow me,” he says as he tries to reach around me for the door handle.

  I stop and my eyes follow him, narrowing when he meets my stare. I feel the heat of his body. Focus, Mia. You can do it. But he smells so good. The butterfly springs to life with uncontrollable excitement. I sigh as Nick pushes the door open in front of me.

  The boss reacts instantly and gets out of his chair. He walks around his desk with a small but noticeable spring in his step.

  “Thyme. Take a seat.” He smiles as he stops in front of the tub chair and leans against the edge of his desk.

  I want to look at Nick to gauge his response to the upbeat mood, but I can’t. The commander seems happy to be sending home the worst thing that ever stepped into this agency. I sit down and see Nick in my peripheral vision as he sits on the chair next to me. The boss crosses his legs and folds his arms at the same time. I wish I knew more about body language to know what that means. His smile is the polar opposite to Nick’s heated scowl.

  “So we have the results of your test, Thyme.”

  I gathered as much. I wait for the boss to continue. Why let this charade continue any longer? I pause for the news that I’m waiting to hear.

  “Tell me, if you could’ve done anything in this world why did you turn to prostitution?” he asks with genuine interest.

  I look at Nick, who is also waiting for my answer. I turn back to the boss and shrug.

  “I don’t know what you mean?”

  “You have achieved one of the highest scores that I’ve seen. Every now and then we have someone like you come through the doors of the agency. I’ve only ever seen one other like you in my time here.” The commander smiles and nods towards Nick.