Finding Thyme

by TJ Hamilton

  “The desert is aging you quickly, Simon,” I confess.

  “Yeah, it does that to you.” He shifts and relaxes back into the couch.

  “When are you going to leave being a mercenary and come home? It’s not safe over in the Middle East.”

  Simon frowns. “Have you seen yourself lately?”

  “Oh. Yeah. I guess.” I shrug. “Well, when this is all over will you leave working in the Middle East? Nick and I are planning on running away together so you should too.” I look over at Nick and smile.

  “So this thing between you guys is serious then?” Simon seems surprised.

  My eyes narrow. “What do you think I’m doing, Simon? Just having fun?”

  Nick interrupts before my irritation grows. “I was telling Simon that I’d marry you if he’d let me … but I think he thought I was joking.”

  I look over at Nick at the kitchen counter and start laughing too. He can’t be serious?

  “Why don’t you ever take me seriously either, Mia? I’ve never been more serious of anything in my whole life,” he says as he continues preparing breakfast, not lifting his eyes for even a moment.

  I stop laughing and see that he is being serious.

  “Nick. I’ve barely gotten used to the fact that I’m in a serious relationship, let alone getting married. I’ll need some time to adjust, thanks,” I say as sternly as possible to hide the butterfly that is having a disco in my stomach.

  “I’ve got a lifetime to wait.” With a sparkle in his eye, Nick looks up at me and smiles smugly.

  His sudden frankness is going to take some getting used to. I can hardly believe someone like Nick wants to be with me. Now I have to get used to the fact that he wants to marry me too? I just laugh and shake my head. It’s all I can do at this stage.

  Simon shifts next to me and puts his hand on mine. “Davo … or should I say, Nick, has gone over the basic details of what you’re doing, sis, and I have to say, I’m very proud. You’re doing the right thing with that bastard. I knew he was trouble from the start.”

  Nick interjects, “Your brother obviously knew a lot about what happened before, so I’m not breaking any operational security rules by telling him what you’re doing now. Plus, I trust him with my life.” Nick continues preparing breakfast in the kitchen. “But you have to promise that you won’t talk to anyone about this, Mia. Ever. Not even Charlie. He can never know what you’re doing. It will jeopardise this entire operation, not to mention your safety.”

  I roll my eyes at Nick. “I get it. I’m in no hurry to die. I just want Tench put into a dark hole for a long time. We need to stop him and I’m the best person to do that. Trust me, I feel privileged to have this ability … and I’m going to exploit every bit of it too.” I sit back and feel pleased with my speech.

  Hopefully I have convinced Simon, and Nick for that matter, that I can actually do this. I feel confident. Maybe it’s because I had the confidence smacked into me a day ago? I don’t feel sad anymore either. I now feel that this is my mission in life, and Tench is my ultimate conquest.

  ***

  The bright afternoon sun begins its descent towards the west, shining through the living room with a warm glow. Nick, Simon and I have hardly moved from the lounge area all day. The three of us chatting happily while trying to eat Nick’s mild attempts at cooking, all of which feels overwhelmingly good for my soul. Having both men around me is the perfect drug to heal my broken body.

  “Well, I need to lie down for a nap if that’s okay with you boys?” I say as I attempt to get up off the couch.

  Nick and Simon both rush to my side the second I try and get up. I glare at both of them but only Simon backs away. Nick, on the other hand, is a stubborn mule and doesn’t budge … and I love the feeling I get from his dominance. A tingling heat spreads over my cheeks and shoots down my body, ensuring my nipples react along the way. I try not to giggle like the schoolgirl that I feel like inside whenever I look at Nick. I let him help me into the bedroom and convince myself that he likes it when he helps me. I think it makes him feel important? He scoops me up once we’re in his bedroom and easily holds me in his arms as he lowers me down onto the bed.

  “I’m going to go out into the field for a few hours. I’ll be back by this evening. Simon is going to stay here with you. The both of us will keep you safe while you mend. But you’re not to go anywhere until you’re not broken and no longer looking like Quasimodo. Speaking of which, the medic gave me some patches to put on your cheek to help with the swelling. Here, let me put one on you now.”

  Nick reaches over and gently applies the patch to my face before he rubs his nose against mine and plants a soft kiss on my lips. I love how I feel when he cares for me like this so I find it difficult to speak when he does so. I don’t want his lips to leave mine, but my body has lost the will to fight through the pain and there is an overwhelming need to close my eyes. I smile wearily and mouth, “I love you.”

  Nick’s second kiss lingers and is full of passion. His lips gently part mine and I recognise the sparkle in his eyes, followed by those cavernous dimples lining the corners of his sumptuous lips. My eyes wander all over his entire beautiful face held just inches from my own. As I’ve always dreamed about, Nick’s face is the very last thing I see before I fall asleep.

  Tench’s voice rolls through me with an eerie tune. “Miranda … Miranda … Where are you, Miranda? I know you’re hiding in here somewhere.”

  It’s pitch black and all I can see is a thin line of light streaming through a gap in a doorway. I move slightly to get a better look. Tench is dressed in a tuxedo, like the one he wore for our moonlit dinner. He’s searching around his empty ballet studio. Where am I? Why am I at his house already? I move an inch more to follow him as he wanders around the ballet room. A stack of ballet pointes fall from the rack behind me and Tench suddenly looks in my direction. My heart feels lodged in my throat and I try desperately to swallow but can’t. Something is around my neck. I put my hand to my throat and feel something thick and tight around it. I try to move but can’t. Tench moves towards me with a wicked grin.

  He rips the door open and sniggers, “Why have you been hiding from me, my gorgeous Miranda? I’ve missed you. I knew I would find you eventually. It was only a matter of time before you were mine again.”

  I open my mouth to yell at him but nothing comes out. I try to punch out at him but can’t move. I’m paralysed, bound by fear. Tench raises his hand and launches it against my face with brutal force. The whole side of my face burns with pain. Everything is black again.

  I gulp the thick air around me as I’m abruptly sucked out of my dream. Looking around the room, I hold my swollen cheek and try to slow my rapid breaths. Thank god I am in the safety of Nick’s bedroom. It’s still dark out and Nick still isn’t beside me, so I try and get back to sleep. I imagine the ocean rolling against a shoreline. It always helps me sleep …

  I’m back in Tench’s ballet studio again. My foot is tied to the barre. A flash and I see Tench’s coffee eyes in the mirror’s reflection and I feel his hands around my neck. Another flash and I’m on the edge of the harbour and Tench pushes me into the water. I feel like a block of concrete and I can’t move as I slowly sink down. I watch the surface become further and further away, Tench’s body twisting in the refraction of the water.

  My eyes quickly spring open again and it’s broad daylight outside. Have I slept through the night and into the day? I don’t think I’ve slept so much in all my life. Nick isn’t next to me, nor does that side of the bed even look slept in. I warily get up and with the aid of the crutches, make my way to the main living area. Simon is catching the sun on a dark cane sunlounge on the balcony but there’s no trace of Nick in the apartment.

  “Morning, Simon. Did Nick come back at all?” I slowly take a seat at the matching outdoor dining table.

  Simon peeks out of one eye. “No, but he’s fine, sissy. He’s one of the best operators I know.”

  I mana
ge a fake smile but Simon sees straight through it. “Seriously. You’re worried about nothing.” His amber eyes are both open now and burning through me.

  “But I have a bad feeling like I did with Sally.” I try my best at not sounding crazy. “And … I’m having nightmares about Tench again.”

  “You’re dreaming about Tench because you have to go back to being his girlfriend again, not because something has happened to Nick. Are you sure you’re ready to do this? Can you leave Nick when you’re blatantly head-over-heels in love with him and go back to that murdering womaniser? This is not a child’s game, Mia. You can die doing this.”

  God, I wish he wouldn’t lecture me like our father! I know exactly what I’m doing.

  “For starters, I’m not a fucking child, Simon. I’m three fucking minutes younger than you so stop acting all high-and-mighty on me. Secondly, I know what I’m doing. I’m making sure that oxygen thief Tench is put away somewhere he’s never getting out, so that I can live without fear and get on with my life. My life with Nick,” I spit back.

  “Well you’re stronger than I ever gave you credit for,” he says with surprise in his voice.

  “That’s what happens when you’ve done the things I’ve done.”

  With a hint of worry about Nick still swirling around, I slowly make my way back to the kitchen to fix myself breakfast, which alone makes me feel hollow. Within a matter of days I have become reliant on Nick being there in the morning to do the simple things like make me breakfast. Going back to Tench isn’t my biggest worry anymore. Leaving Nick is the hardest thing I’ll ever have to do.

  FIFTEEN

  Hours later, there’s still no sign of Nick. I sit out on the balcony with my brother and watch the ferries pull in and out of the five extended docks along the Quay. I do everything I possibly can throughout the day to occupy my mind but not even my favourite book, Great Expectations, can alter the anxiety I feel about Nick’s absence.

  “Do you think I should at least call agency HQ? It has been twenty-four hours now.”

  I look towards Simon and wait impatiently for him to respond. I know already what he’s going to say as soon as the question leaves my lips. Simon sluggishly raises his head to my direction.

  “You’re worried over nothing, Mi, but go ahead and call. Do you even have a number?”

  I realise that I don’t have a clue how to contact the agency. This doesn’t help my situation at all! I hobble towards the bathroom, thinking desperately about what to do next. I can’t go anywhere, not with this broken body anyway. But I can’t stay here while there may be something wrong with Nick. Last time I had these feelings, Sally was murdered. I can’t help but relate everything to that now. I need to get to the agency.

  I look up at my reflection and see that the swelling in my face has decreased significantly. I peel the patch off and inspect the skin underneath. There’s barely a blemish. No purple bruising, no red swelling … nothing! My eye is slightly bloodshot on the outside but it’s only minor. Maybe I can get out of here without standing out too much? What am I going to do about my broken leg?

  I can walk around on it without the aid of the crutches—it’s slow but I can manage it. Now I just need to get Simon out of here for a moment. I hobble back out to the kitchen and open the fridge. I grab the milk and pour the whole litre down the sink and wash the remnants away.

  “Simon. We’re out of milk and I really need a coffee,” I call out from the kitchen.

  Simon strolls in frowning. “You’ve gone through that quickly. Can’t you just wait until Nick’s back and then I can run out and get some milk when he’s here to watch over you?”

  I exaggerate a pout and tilt my head to the side. “I really need a coffee, Simon. I’m fine up here. Really I am. And who knows when Nick is going to be back.”

  I recognise defeat in Simon’s face. His amber eyes soften and his thin top lip disappears under his smile.

  He shakes his head. “Fine, fine. I’ll get you some milk. I can never say no to you, sissy … and I’m sure you know it!”

  I smile wearily at him, feeling a touch of guilt mixed with a hint of excitement at being such a convincing liar.

  “You’re looking pretty good by the way, sis. Your face almost looks back to normal,” he says with a loving smile.

  Okay, now I really feel guilty.

  The moment Simon is out the door, I rush as fast as my broken leg will take me to the balcony.

  I wait until I see my brother make his way out of the building and towards the nearest convenience store on Pitt Street before heading to the kitchen to find the kitchen scissors in the top utensils drawer. In the bathroom, I lean on the bath and start cutting at the bottom of my cast so that my foot is exposed, in the hope that I might be able to slip some pants on.

  I find my bag of clothes that Nick packed for me, and search for anything to fit over the cast. Skinny jeans are definitely out of the question! I find a pair of black and white graphic print harem pants that hang loosely around my legs and taper in at the ankle. I pair it with a loose white singlet that I tuck into the pants and quickly throw on a black structured jacket. I choose flat shoes over heels and twist my unwashed greasy hair into a topknot and very delicately apply some foundation to cover up the remainder of the discolouration down the side of my cheek. I find fifty dollars in Nick’s bedside drawer and carefully slide on my Ray Bans before making my way out of the front door and into the elevator.

  The main entrance of the building is on Macquarie Street and thanks to the Opera House being only metres away, there is always a steady stream of taxis travelling along the street. Every step I take on my broken leg sends an aching shot of pain up to my knee, but the mental anguish of something being wrong with Nick alleviates the physical pain I feel. I raise my right arm so that I don’t pull at my broken ribs and hail the first taxi within moments of stepping onto the street.

  I do my best not to grimace as I ease into the back seat and direct the driver to the agency HQ.

  I leave my sunglasses on to cover my black eye and when I finally make it to the Sky Lobby entrance of the building, I still don’t take them off. Stopping at the top of the elevator, I look around the enormous atrium and it finally dawns on me that I have no way of getting into the agency.

  I don’t have any kind of swipe card to get in, nor do I even know which floor it’s on, or what code to enter into the elevator keypad. Why didn’t I take notice of these things earlier? And why am I not provided with these basic work details yet?

  My leg is throbbing, as are my face and ribs. It takes every inch of restraint to look as normal as possible as I make my way over to the café in the centre of the lobby floor to gather my thoughts and plot my next plan of attack.

  Carefully, I sit down at a table and scan around the vast space to count the security and watch their movements. A security guard with dark hair and a dark complexion looks towards me and presses his finger to his ear as he speaks to no one in particular. Shit! Does he recognise me? He walks towards me with an emotionless expression.

  Contemplating my next moves, I take a deep breath and blow out a long slow whiff of air. Four security guards and one approaching, three security gates, twelve elevators … all with security codes and one broken leg. I don’t really like my odds of making a dash and getting into the agency undetected. I continue staring at the security guard, as he does me.

  “Miss, you need to come with me immediately,” the security guard says quietly as soon as he’s within earshot.

  I glance over at the short balding man behind the coffee machine. He doesn’t look up from the steaming machine in front of him. I look over at the other guards at the desk. All of them continue their duties and don’t even notice me. I look back up at the tall security guard again. His blinking eyelids are the only movement on his face, and even that is limited. I slowly get up, holding my breath as I do so. The pain in my leg is profound but I do my best to keep a straight face, trying not to look too concerned. I gu
ess that the security guard is with the agency, but I’m not certain.

  I search across his face for any kind of clue and find nothing to help ease my mind about following him. I take a chance and start following him when he turns to walk away. He takes me through the waist-height security gates and towards the grand elevators of the lobby.

  As he approaches the keypad, I position myself so that I can see him enter the digits from under his arm. Two, three, two, seven, one, nine, one, eight. I repeat the sequence over in my head. Twenty-three, twenty-seven, nineteen, eighteen. They didn’t make it easy to remember, and why would they? I try and think of a different way to remember the sequence. Twenty-three plus twenty-seven equals fifty and nineteen is higher than eighteen.

  I repeat the sequence over and over while I wait with the security guard for the elevator to arrive. He presses his finger to his ear again.

  “Copy that,” I hear him say under his breath.

  My mind takes off as thoughts of Nick flood my head like a tropical monsoon. What happened to him? What if something bad has happened? I remember this very feeling when I returned to Miss Stephanie’s agency to learn that Sally had been murdered. My good knee begins to buckle under my weight, and the terror within my thoughts makes my vision blurred.

  The security guard looks back to me then points to the elevator on the left. The elevator sounds its arrival and the doors slide open. I slowly make my way over to it and wait inside. The doors close but the security guard doesn’t accompany me.

  My heart begins to drum and I can feel a lump forming in my throat. Surely someone would’ve come to inform me if anything had happened to Nick? They know where I am, after all. I feel tears build up in my eyes but force them back. I can’t cry here. Not now. The elevator slows and I take a deep breath as the laser skims over me before the doors slide open.

  “What the hell are you doing, Mia?” Nick roars and it startles me.