by Lynn Stevens
“It’ll be nice to get away from the theater,” I said. The awkward conversation turned even more awkward by the step.
“Yeah, maybe.” He paused and glanced at me before continuing. “What about you?”
My plans made me grin. I couldn’t wait to spend the day in the sun with my friends, lounging on the dock and relaxing. Nothing exciting for us, which wasn’t par for the course. “Just hanging with my friends at the lake. We’re barbecuing.”
“Sounds like fun,” he said. His head dropped an inch. Gracin normally ran with the confidence of a marathoner, head high and form loose. Even deviating from the norm was disturbing to me
That’s when it hit me. The run, spending every waking moment together, even his request that I move into the hotel all made sense. Gracin Ford, singing sensation, was lonely. It would’ve made me laugh if it wasn’t so sad. So I did the least logical thing in the world.
“Why don’t you come along?” I asked, fighting to keep the nervous quiver out of my voice. What if I’m wrong?
Gracin stopped and stared down at me. I stared back, but he didn’t answer as his eyebrows fought it out on his forehead.
“Come on,” I prodded. “It’ll be fun.”
“Are you sure you don’t mind?” He shifted foot to foot and glanced at his shoes. I wanted to reach out and comfort him, but I kept myself in check. Gracin nervous wasn’t normal.
I craned my neck to look him in the eye, smiling with encouragement. “Like I said, it’ll be fun.”
He found his swagger and straightened. “What barbecue wouldn’t be fun with Gracin Ford there?”
“There’s my cocky friend,” I said.
He tilted his head to the right. “You mean that?”
I wasn’t sure what he meant, and I was sure it showed on my face.
“That we’re friends?” he clarified.
I didn’t hesitate. “Well, yeah. Aren’t we?”
Gracin smiled, and it was the most beautiful thing I’d seen. He’d always been attractive, even when he was an ass, but seeing him smile like he was actually happy made him so much more so… interesting.
“Yeah, we are.”
We stared at one another, and I didn’t care my face burned more than it usually did during our runs. And I thought his looked the same, but I wasn’t about to point it out to him. We turned toward the street, both of us running with an extra bounce in our steps.
∞ ∞ ∞
After our run, I went back to sleep for a couple of hours. So, I didn’t get to sleep in, but I got some much needed z’s in anyway. I took a little extra time getting ready, until I realized why I was doing it. The only reason I spent so much time in front of a mirror was when I was heading out to find a quick hookup. Most of the time, I’d find a guy and we’d make out for a while. Very rarely did it lead to anything more.
Which naturally brought Gracin and an imaginary hookup movie playing in my head. Yeah, it was not PG-13.
At eleven, Gracin knocked on the door. Dad was at work, and thankfully, Miranda was at her friend’s house. Mom’s social calendar showed a luncheon with some other resort owner wives today. No doubt Luke drove her before heading to Nena’s. When I opened the door, I almost dropped the cooler I’d packed. A dirty Dodgers cap hid his floppy, unstyled hair, and yellow tinted wraparound sunglasses covered his eyes, not to mention half his face.
“Expecting some paparazzi?” I cocked my hip and gave him my best glare.
“Maybe.” He flashed a grin and reached for the cooler. “Who brings a cooler to a barbecue?”
“How many vegans go to a barbecue unprepared?” I asked.
Gracin’s lower lip stuck out, and oh my God did I want to suck on it. I shook my head and turned around before he could see the pure want covering my face. This wasn’t good, not at all. I needed to shake this lust pronto, because it so wasn’t happening. Fortunately, he didn’t notice or he didn’t comment. Either way, I was glad.
I punched the address into his GPS and sat back to listen to some Johnny Cash. Gracin didn’t shy away from cranking his stereo. “Jackson” came on and we both ended up singing along. Gracin smiled, letting his country side roll. He sounded great, and I could totally see how he ended up in the music business. Somehow, though, I still didn’t believe I’d heard the real Gracin Ford sing. I wasn’t sure what it was, but the notion nagged at me. Gracin was an enigma. One minute he was a cocky jackass, the next a sweet boy-next-door, then he could turn into a ranting diva.
He slipped the truck into low as we turned down the private road toward the Brand’s house. Nena’s family had lived in the Ozarks for a century, and they’d owned this land for almost as long. Some long-lost relative came upon a massive amount of money and bought as much of the lakeside property as he could get his hands on. Over the years, the parcel’s gotten smaller, but the Brand family has held on to more than half of it.
I’d always envied Nena’s life. She was gorgeous, flirtatious, but she stuck to her convictions. Her parents loved her no matter what kind of trouble I got her in. Over the last four years, that had been a lot. But she had one thing I wished I had in my life: a sibling who cared about her. I could jump off a bridge and Luke would just shrug.
Gracin parked the truck behind Nena’s Cavalier and turned off the engine. I reached for the handle when I heard him exhale. Glancing over my shoulder, I stared at his profile. His eyes were closed and his fingers drummed on the bottom of the steering wheel. A count of twenty later, he opened his eyes and climbed out of the truck. I did the same and led the way toward the front door, opening it without even ringing the doorbell.
“Hey, Carly,” Janey called. She leaned back in the kitchen to stare down the hallway. “Nena’s down by the dock with Ivy. The boys are out back by the grill, arguing over every …” Her eyes widened, and she stepped into the hallway to meet us halfway. “Hi, I’m Janey,” she said, adding half an octave to her tenor voice. “I don’t believe we’ve met.”
Here we go. I rolled my eyes, but Janey didn’t notice.
Gracin offered his hand and smiled. “Jonathan. I’m working with Carly at the theater this summer.”
I raised my eyebrow but didn’t correct him.
“Nice to meet you,” Janey said. She flashed her eyes to me before turning the charm back toward Gracin.
He moved a step closer to me. “You too.”
Janey’s smile turned plastic as she spun back toward the kitchen. “You can put your cooler on the deck, Carly.”
“Thanks,” I said, leading Gracin out the sliding glass doors to the wraparound deck overlooking the lake. It didn’t matter how many times I’d been here, the view always made me stop for a minute and take it all in. It was nature at its finest. The water lapped the edges and gently rocked the dock. Since we were in a small cove, most of the boat traffic didn’t affect the peaceful surroundings.
Gracin’s sharp intake of breath meant one of two things: the view did the same to him as it did to me, or he’d noticed Ivy in her red bikini. I didn’t want to know which.
After depositing the cooler in the shade, I hurried down the steps toward the dock. Ivy and Nena spotted us, waving like they hadn’t seen me in a year. Their flagrant waves slowed and stopped at the same time. I knew it was because of who walked behind me.
“Hey, Carlsbad, you didn’t tell us you were bringing dessert?” Nena smiled like Gracin was covered in chocolate. The thought made me sweat, and I had to shake it out of my head. Fortunately, they thought I was shaking my head no. “Not in the mood to share? Too bad.”
God, Nena had the vixen card down. I hated to think what would happen once she got to college. Who knew? Maybe she’d change her ways and start acting like the person she pretended to be.
“Nena, you’re terrible,” Ivy giggled. She slipped her sunglasses to the edge of her nose and checked out every inch of Gracin as if she was using her tongue to taste him.
His breath caressed my ear before I heard him. “I’m feeling a little o
bjectified, Carlsbad.”
Giggling was not my thing, but damned if I didn’t then. Nena and Ivy heard me and raised their eyebrows, but they didn’t call me out. Both turned their attentions toward Gracin as they introduced themselves.
“Nice to meet you. I’m Jonathan.” Gracin flashed his million-dollar smile.
“Well, come on down. We’ve got a full cooler and the boat’s ready to go.” Nena turned toward the lake with Ivy matching her move for move.
I stared at Gracin and mouthed, “Jonathan?”
He shrugged, but a real smile brightened his features as he leaned closer to me. “It’s my first name. Now tell me why they call you Carlsbad?”
I laughed so hard I almost peed myself. “That’s a much longer story.”
“Can’t wait to hear it,” he said.
I turned toward my friends, keeping my smile to myself. The idea he might want to hear the story touched something inside me I couldn’t recognize. I wasn’t sure if it was good or bad. It was definitely different.
Nena’s father wasn’t much on luxury, but he did love to spend time on the water. Reverend Brand had bought the powerboat when we were in seventh grade. He enjoyed the speed and skiing, a hobby Nena had picked up on as easily as a fish to water. She was prepping the boat for a quick ride before lunch.
Gracin and I were halfway to the dock when Luke called my name. I turned to wave to my older brother and stopped when I saw who stood behind him. My blood turned to ice. It was an apparition. It had to be, because there was no way that Derrick Russo was here. There was no way he would show his face after all these years.
Willing him not to exist hadn’t worked four years ago, and it wasn’t working now.
“What’s the matter, sis?” Luke asked as he strolled toward us, Derrick hot on his heels. “Drink too much last night?”
I shook my head, my mouth too dry to form a single word.
“Who’re you?” Luke’s eyes shot to Gracin.
Gracin offered up his hand. “Jonathan.”
“Have we met before?” Luke tried to place him, but he wasn’t quite catching on. My brother wasn’t the brightest bulb in the pack.
“Yeah, I’m one of the grips at the theater. Your dad hired me for the summer.” Gracin’s voice took on a bit of an accent, not quite Ozark enough but definitely not his usual California suave.
Luke snapped his fingers and pointed. “That’s it. I knew you looked familiar.”
Gracin smiled, stepping closer to me like he did with Janey in the kitchen. “Your sister’s been kind enough to let me tag along since my family’s out of town this week.”
“That’s our Carly,” Derrick said. My skin crawled at the sound of his voice, a sound I’d ignored even in my nightmares. That was nothing compared to how he stared at me. His ocean blue eyes shot icicles into my chest. “Oh, I’m Derrick, by the way. I’ll be starting at the theater tomorrow.”
Thank God that Gracin moved closer to me, because I needed his strength. My knees buckled, and I fell back. His arm wrapped around my waist, squeezing me against him. Ice may have invaded my body, but it melted the minute Gracin touched me. It didn’t matter, though. The security I got from Gracin couldn’t change the past, and it wouldn’t change how I reacted around Derrick Russo.
“Carly, you don’t look so hot.” Luke reached out to touch my forehead, but I leaned further back before he could touch me. Gracin’s arm tightened as he let me push into him.
“I’m fine,” I whispered. Turning half around, I hurried toward the dock with one eye on Derrick. Gracin’s arm slipped away from my waist in the rush, and the chill easily ate away the warmth of his touch.
Once we got to the dock and I was sure Derrick didn’t follow, I jumped on the boat and reached in the cooler for the nearest drink. Gracin climbed in behind me, eyeing the beer in my hand. He shook his head, but that wasn’t going to stop me as I popped the top.
His fingers closed around mine, forceful and gentle. I didn’t try to fight him.
“You don’t need this, Carly,” he whispered, prying the beer from my hand. “Talk to me.”
I laughed harshly. “Look at you, Gracin Ford, trying to play sponsor. Well, I don’t need one and I don’t need to talk. Especially to you.” I turned to the front of the boat where Nena and Ivy watched us. “Hit the water, Nena. We’ve got a party to start.”
Ivy whoo-hooed.
Nena grinned and pumped her fist. “There’s our Carlsbad. Ain’t a party until somebody gets hurt. Let’s hit it, girls.” She paused and cocked her head to the right. “And boy.”
I took off my tee and shimmied out of my shorts so all that was left was my black bikini. The engine roared to life and the smell of diesel filled the air. I stumbled into Gracin as Nena gunned the gas. Speed, that’s what I needed. Gracin’s hands landed on the bare skin of my waist. The hard calluses on his fingertips scratched a little, and I leaned against him for more. My body pressed along the length of his. The icy chill left by Derrick’s presence disappeared. Until Gracin shoved me onto the seat beside him. Still, talk about seven seconds of heaven.
The wind whipped through my hair. I pushed myself to my feet and held onto the back of Nena’s seat. I squeezed the seat tighter, digging my nails into the white leather. The memories I’d held back for four years rushed through me. The dryness of my throat as I’d begged him to stop. The spit spray as he’d laughed at my pleas. The way his blue eyes had closed and his mouth had opened with pleasure while I’d screamed in pain.
My body tensed as the entire scene flashed in my mind. I’d managed to block it out of my conscience. This was the first time he’d come back to Branson since he had left for college. Just seeing him made everything fresh in my memory.
I needed to focus on something else, something less painful. Scanning the shoreline, I spotted a potential diversion. Someone had tied a rope from an overhanging branch and people lined up to take a swinging drop into the lake.
“Nena!” I shouted, pointing at the same time. She’d already started turning toward the swing.
Ivy grinned over her shoulder at me. “How high can you go?”
“We’ll find out!”
Nena slowed, but I didn’t wait for her to stop before I dove into the water. Before I went under, I swore I heard Gracin calling my name. He’d probably disapprove of the swing, but he had no say in what I did. Besides, he’d done far worse with alcohol and drugs. Maybe if he’d been an adrenaline junky instead, he’d be a lot more fun. These days, Gracin Ford lived a clean life.
That shit wasn’t for me.
The guys managing the rope had graduated last year. They let me jump the line, much to the boos of a few other girls.
“Hold the rope,” I ordered Jeff or maybe it was Randy. Funny, I should’ve remembered his name since we went out once. He smiled, his eyes crawling up and down my body to places he never got to visit. I moved as far away as the brush would allow before turning back toward the rope. My water shoes weren’t made for running in the woods, but they’d protect my feet. I dug in to get better traction and waited a breath, imagining the rush.
Then I ran.
Leaping up and grabbing the rope as soon as I was airborne, my body weight and speed powered me out across the lake. For a split second, I was free. It was like flying and all I wanted to do was keep going higher and higher, but Derrick’s breath echoed in my head and the memories didn’t disappear.
So I let go.
Gravity took over, and I plunged toward the water. I’d done this a hundred times, so I knew how to hit the water safely, but my memories were too distracting and my body didn’t cooperate. My left foot wasn’t in line, and the pressure of the entrance pushed it farther away from my body, sending me sideways into the drink instead of straight down.
It felt like a giant hand slapping me with the G-force of an F-14. My lungs burned after the blunt trauma freed them off all their oxygen. Instinct took over, and I managed to push myself to the surface. My chest stung wit
h the sharp intake of air.
What a freaking rush.
I glanced toward the boat where Nena and Ivy cheered. Gracin stood on the edge, ready to jump in. I experienced a different rush as I stared at him, partly wishing he would jump in. Seriously, I needed to let it go. The pain in my leg pulsed as I swam toward the boat. The rush faded, but the pain increased. When Gracin and Ivy helped me back into the boat, the throbbing focused on my left ankle.
“Nice fly, Carly, but shitty landing,” Ivy said. She lifted my ankle onto her leg to inspect it. With three younger sisters and an older brother all athletically gifted, Ivy had become the medic of her family. Her skills were legendary enough that she’d been the manager for the football and basketball teams the last two years.
“Are you okay?” Gracin asked. He knelt beside me, just out of Ivy’s way.
“Yeah, I’ve had worse.” I smiled, but Ivy turned my ankle too fast and the pain shot up my spine. “Way worse,” I added through gritted teeth.
Ivy didn’t lift her head as she inspected my ankle. “Sad but true. Haven’t you noticed the thin scar running from her left shoulder to her butt? At least that didn’t need stitches. One time she –”
“Shut up, Ivy.” I groaned again. This was worse than I thought.
She raised her eyebrows, but didn’t say another word about my past adventures. “It’s not broken. I’m sure you just sprained it. When we get back to the house, I’ll put an icepack on it and wrap it tight.”
“Shouldn’t she see a doctor?” Gracin lips pressed into a rigid line.
Ivy and Nena both laughed, but this time Nena answered. “And risk her father finding out? Yeah, that’s not going to happen. “
“Remember when –” Ivy started. I didn’t have to stop her this time; a fit of giggles did.
“I don’t think Carly wants us to talk about this in front of ….” Nena nodded toward Gracin, who watched the three of us from his side of the boat. “Let’s get out of here. I’m sure Luke and Derrick have the pork steaks ready by now.”
