by Lynn Stevens
At the mention of Derrick, the rush was gone. A hollow emptiness settled into my stomach. Ivy and Nena didn’t notice, but Gracin did. He moved closer as my friends climbed into the front of the boat.
“I know it hurts, but how bad?” he asked.
I snorted and rolled my eyes. “Have you ever felt like your body was going to split in two, but snaps back together? Kinda like that only worse.”
“Sounds like a hangover I had on the Sunset Strip.” His attempt at a joke failed in its delivery.
Any further conversation was cut off by the roar of the engine. I leaned back, resting my head on the leather and staring at the sky as we zipped down the lake. Nena and Ivy sat in the front laughing about the swing incident. Honestly, they’d seen me do crazier stuff, but nothing insanely crazy. I stayed mostly tame around them. My other adventures were just stories they may or may not have believed. This time was different. I’d always been one for an adrenaline. Skydiving, yep. Bungee jumping, multiple times. Whitewater rafting, what a rush. I’d done it all. It’s amazing what can be accomplished in Missouri.
Like I said, this time was different.
I did it to push back the memories overtaking me.
Nena expertly pulled the boat alongside the dock, and Ivy jumped out to tie up. Gracin climbed out and offered his hand. I stared at it for a moment, but I slid my fingers along his and let him help me from the boat. My ankle barely held my weight. It almost gave out as I hobbled toward the blankets laid across the wood. I eased myself down, stretching my legs before me.
“Aren’t you coming to the house to eat?” Nena asked from the edge of the dock.
I shook my head. “I just want to sit here for a while.”
“What about you, Jonathan?” Ivy’s voice had an added dose of sultry.
“Nah, thanks.” He knelt beside me, completely ignoring Ivy’s vocal attempts at seduction. Loud enough for my ears only, Gracin whispered, “I’ll get the cooler. Don’t move, okay?”
“Smartass,” I whispered back.
Gracin smiled and disappeared. I propped myself up my elbows and watched the water lap against the hull of the boat. The sound brought the memories back again, and I tried to fight them off. After so long, I couldn’t believe they felt so raw. The tears fell first, then my body racked with sobs. I pulled my good leg to my chest and buried my forehead into my knee. How could he have done that to me? I was just a kid.
A shadow blocked the sun. When I glanced up, Gracin stood beside me with the cooler in his hand. I wiped the tears away and faked a smile. For all he knew, the tears were for the earlier incident with the rope swing. His eyebrows furrowed, and I held up my hand to stop him.
“I’m fine, really.”
That only made his eyebrows start World War III with each other. Still, he didn’t say a word as he sat beside me on the blanket and opened the cooler. I waited while he shuffled through it. He pulled out two bottles of water and turned to me with a confused expression. “You packed my favorite foods.”
“Yeah, I figured you’d want to stick to your diet and all that.” His stare made me more self-conscious than when he’d caught me crying a moment ago. He didn’t say anything, and my discomfort grew taller than the Ozarks. “What’s wrong with that?”
“Nothing,” he whispered. “It’s just …” He glanced out toward the water and didn’t look back at me as he finished his thought. “It’s just that nobody’s … The only people who even think about doing something, anything, considerate like this are on my payroll.”
“Technically, I work with you,” I pointed out.
He laughed harshly and turned toward me. “Yeah, but you know what I mean. Besides, you fight with me, tell me my show sucks, and don’t hold back your opinion at every turn.” He paused, his eyes dropping to my lips. His voice turned husky. “I’ve never met anyone like you, Carly.”
We sat like that, staring at one another until the water bottles stopped sweating. I leaned closer to him, to do what, I had no idea, but I felt the pull to be in his personal space. Kissing seemed like a good option though. Unfortunately, someone rudely interrupted any chance of that happening.
“Hey, sis,” Luke said as he strolled onto the dock, making more noise than a gaggle of fleeing geese. “Aren’t you coming up to eat? Got pork steak, ribs, and brats.”
I smiled warmly at my brother, without real warmth. A skill I’d learned well. “Nah, I want to hang in the sun.”
“What about you, Jonathan?” Luke turned his attention to Gracin. “What do you want?”
Gracin’s eyes flicked to me before he answered. “I’m good. Thanks.”
“Whatever. Hey, Carly, can you get to the theater early tomorrow? Derrick starts as a security guard, and I need someone to show him around.”
Each word was a pinprick puncture wound draining the blood from my body. The breeze off the lake suddenly chilled my bones as the heat of the sun disappeared. I must’ve looked like a finely carved ice sculpture. Luke didn’t seem to notice as he stared at me expecting an answer.
“She can’t,” Gracin answered. I turned toward him, our eyes locking. He didn’t break his stare as he explained. “I overheard Gracin tell her there was a smell in his dressing room and he wanted it out by showtime tomorrow.”
“Why not call in the exterminators or something?” Luke asked.
“Oh, you know Carly. She’ll try to prove Gracin wrong first, just to make a point. The guy’s a bit of a diva.” Gracin raised an eyebrow, and I would’ve smiled if tomorrow didn’t loom over me like an asteroid.
Luke laughed. “Yeah, he can be a dick. Don’t worry about it, Carly. I’ll get someone else to do it.”
“Okay,” I said.
Gracin smirked and pulled a salad from the cooler, setting it between us. Once Luke was out of earshot, he chuckled.
“So, I’m a dick, huh?” he asked, popping a cherry tomato into his mouth.
“If it quacks …” I tried to smile, but the image of Derrick at the theater wouldn’t let me. The shaking started in my hands, then crept up my arms. I wrapped myself in them to stop the tick.
“Carly,” Gracin said my name gently, but I didn’t face him. I couldn’t. He put his hand on my arm. The shaking eased at the warmth of his touch, and I turned toward him. “You don’t have to tell me what happened, but I promise you he won’t be at the theater for long.”
“I don’t need you to fight my battles,” I whispered as he lifted his sunglasses.
“No, you don’t. But I’m in your corner.” His eyes were the color of gold lamé, swirling with intensity. “It never hurts to … have someone to stand beside you, does it?”
“No,” I said on breathe of air. “It doesn’t.”
CHAPTER EIGHT
Gracin demanded I go to rehearsal with him the next day. He didn’t want me out of his sight while we were in the theater, but he had to get on stage to check the sound and make slight adjustments to the songs from the night before. It amazed me how he went through this before every show. I never detected any variation in the songs, tempo, or sound and lighting, and I hadn’t been close to the stage during rehearsals to notice how things changed on a daily basis. Most of the time, I was either on the phone or running errands.
We stood together just off stage left a few minutes before rehearsal started. Luke strolled by with Derrick. My insides turned to oatmeal. Derrick leered at me, a smirk turning him uglier than usual. Luke didn’t seem to notice how the tension stunk up the small area. He kept talking as if Derrick listened.
“Hey.” Gracin snapped his fingers at Derrick. The air around him took on a superior edge. He stood at his full height and threw his shoulders back. “What’s your problem?”
Luke glanced at his friend before turning toward Gracin. “Mr. Ford, this is Derrick Russo. As of today, he’s on the security team.”
Gracin didn’t take his eyes off Derrick as he sneered. “I didn’t ask you, Luke. I asked him what his problem was.”
“I do
n’t understand,” Luke responded, glancing between the two.
If I could’ve only folded in on myself.
Gracin stepped closer, staring down at Derrick. There was only an inch between them, giving Gracin the edge, but it seemed so much more at that moment. Gracin stood over Derrick like a pissed-off giant looking for his magic beans.
“I …” Derrick stuttered. It wasn’t a lack of confidence, of that he had an abundance. Gracin had knocked Derrick down a notch with his stare.
“If you have a problem with me, then this isn’t the place for you,” Gracin said with a calm voice. “You should just go.”
“Derrick doesn’t have a problem with you, Mr. Ford.” The quiver in Luke’s voice was not only uncharacteristic, but it was unnerving. Seeing my brother so out of his depth didn’t settle right in my gut. “Right, Carly?”
His eyes pleaded with me to back him up. I couldn’t. Fortunately, Gracin gave me an out.
“Leave Carly out of this,” Gracin snapped. His gaze shifted to Luke, and my brother started to wilt. “I don’t like this guy. Get rid of him.”
“You can’t –”
“Get rid of him or I don’t go on. Then explain to your father why I’m not on the stage for a sold out show.” Gracin crossed his arms over his chest, glaring down his nose at Luke. “Clear?”
Nobody said anything for several minutes as the epic show of masculinity continued. There was no way Gracin would lose this battle. Luke finally relented as soon as someone called Gracin to come to the stage. Gracin cocked an eyebrow at him, and Luke backed away, motioning for Derrick to follow him. I watched until they disappeared around a corner, then I exhaled a heavy breath.
Gracin’s hand fell on my shoulder. “Better?”
I nodded since the baseball-sized lump in my throat expanded into a softball. This wasn’t over, not by a long shot. Gracin couldn’t really believe he’d handled Derrick like a valet, could he? This wasn’t some Hollywood movie.
“Stay here during rehearsals, okay? Just stay here until I know he’s out of the building for good.”
Again, I nodded until common sense kicked in. “I can’t. I have too much to do.”
“It can wait.”
“I need to get your dressing room ready. It’s still a mess from Sunday night. “
“It. Can. Wait.” Gracin bent down until he met my eyes. “Stay here. Please.”
Someone called for him again, and he nodded once before spinning on his heel and heading out to the stage. As much as this fascinated me, I hadn’t agreed to stand here like a groupie and wait for him. Anger welled inside me, melting away the remaining oatmeally sensation. There was no way Derrick was going to stop me from doing my job.
Gracin waved at me. Once he turned around, I headed toward his dressing room. The memory of Derrick, of what he’d done to me, had haunted me long enough. For the last four years, I thought I’d taken control of my life, but all I’d done was hide behind the crazy girl image. It was time to let it go.
I hurried up the steps and down the hall, forcing myself to stay calm and not check over my shoulder. A shiver crept down my spine like fingers caressing a piano when I turned the corner toward Gracin’s dressing room. Damn, why did the hall have to be so dark? Even in the middle of the afternoon, it felt like midnight.
Pulling the key from my pocket, I managed to slip it in the lock and turn it even as my hands shook. Gracin was right. I should’ve just stayed by the stage. But this was ridiculous. Luke would’ve kicked Derrick out of the theater by now. There was no way Luke would risk a performance for a friend. Losing Gracin, even for one night, would cost the theater too much money. Since this was Luke’s first management gig, there’s not a chance in hell that he’d let Gracin walk. Besides, he’d seen Dad’s wrath enough times over the years.
I turned the doorknob. Remnants of Gracin’s cologne filled my nose, calming me down. I loved the pepper, vetiver, and leatherwood scent. Inhaling deeply, I let it fill my senses.
Until a hand slammed into my back, pushing me into the dressing room and onto the floor. My face burned against the shag carpeting, taking my breath from my lungs. This wasn’t happening. A bubble swelled inside my chest, breaking when fingers closed around my swollen ankle. Panic froze my muscles as the attacker flipped me onto my back. I screamed and the sound choked me, but Derrick only laughed.
“Fucking the singer, Carly?” he asked, slamming the door behind him.
I crab crawled away from him until my back hit the unrelenting wall between the wardrobe and Gracin’s dressing table. The cold hand of fear caressed every inch of my bare skin from my neck to my legs as Derrick’s gaze roamed around with the hunger of a predator about to be fed. The rush of memories I’d suppressed overtook me. I couldn’t stop them this time, and it felt like I was on the precipice of reliving them. The edge of my sanity loomed on the horizon and I ran toward it.
“You put him up to firing me? Huh? Is that what happened?” Derrick grinned as he unbuckled his belt. “I taught you a lesson once before. Maybe it’s time you relearn it.”
Oh, hell no. You aren’t fucking touching me!
I waited, partially paralyzed by fear, but also feeding off of it. He wasn’t going to win. Even if my body was trying to get away, my mind formed a simple plan. Derrick stood before me, sliding his jeans down past his hips. I slid farther down the wall until I was almost completely prone.
“Damn, Carly. You know you ruined me for most women. None of them felt as good as you did.” He licked his lips and a sinister smile appeared. Those blue eyes blazing with intense heat. “Of course, they all begged for me willingly. You begged for me but pretended not to want it. I knew you wanted to, though. No matter how many times you said no, you wanted me as much as I wanted you.”
He tipped his head back to laugh and I took my shot. My arms supported my weight as I slammed my boot-covered foot into his crotch. He wailed like a chick in a horror movie. I scrambled to my feet and limped past him toward the door.
Derrick’s hand shot out, grabbing my bad ankle and dragging me back to the floor. I kicked out with my good boot and nailed him in the face. The crunch of his nose breaking echoed in my head. I cherished how his scream gurgled in this throat as I crawled away from him. The door wasn’t far. Once I was out of his reach, I pulled myself to my feet and yanked open the door, smacking into Gracin as I tried to escape.
He pulled me against his chest for a moment, before moving around me. Luke pushed by me, totally unaware of what was going on. But Gracin knew. He’d figured it out the day before. I didn’t pay much attention to what happened next. There was so much going on. I heard Gracin yelling at Luke. I saw security rushing into the room. I smelled his blood on my boots, and I tasted my own from a cut on my lip.
Then nothing. It was like a black hole swallowed me and took all of it away: the pain, the anger, the fear. The only thing that didn’t disappear was sight. As I stared at the tips of my favorite boots, I noticed Derrick, still with his pants down, being hauled from the room by the head of security and three of his lackeys. More people had shown up than I realized while I sat there.
Someone touched my arm, and I yanked it away. I stared at the culprit and saw my mother. When had she gotten here? She reached toward me again, but I shrunk from her. Tears rimmed her eyes, but they didn’t fall. Just like they hadn’t fallen all those times Dad yelled at me for something that I hadn’t really done. Even the reason I worked here this summer wasn’t entirely my fault. Not that it mattered to my father.
Mom stood, and she motioned toward someone else. Dad was here too.
God, please don’t let Miranda see me like this.
Luke and Dad played hand puppets with one another, gesturing wildly. My ears were stuffed with impenetrable cotton. A hand shot between Dad and Luke, pushing them apart. I watched as Gracin shoved his way between them. His eyes found mine, and his mouth dropped open. He knelt beside me, keeping his gaze locked with mine. A sudden rush overcame me as my senses w
oke.
“Carly?” he whispered.
It broke me. I fell into his chest, sobbing uncontrollably. I hadn’t allowed myself to cry like this in four years, but I couldn’t stop it. Derrick had stolen so much of my life from me, and I felt like I finally had it back. Gracin’s arms wrapped around my shoulders. He rocked me, slowly and gently, as I cried. He didn’t lie and say it was going to be okay. He didn’t even speak, actually. Instead, he offered the one thing I needed more than words of comfort. He held me against his chest, making me feel safer than I’d felt in a long time.
When I finally pulled away from him, everyone else was gone.
“How long have we been sitting here?” I asked through my cracked voice. I hadn’t screamed that much, had I?
“About an hour, I think. My butt went numb a while ago.” He smiled, but it quickly turned into a frown. “I told you not to move.”
Indignation rose in my chest. “So this is my fault?”
“God, no.” Gracin sat up, taking my face gently between his hands and forcing me to meet his eyes. “None of this is your fault, Carly. Not a damn bit of it. You understand?”
I nodded and swallowed down the sour bile burning in my throat.
“You are amazing, you know that?” His face brightened. “Jonesy got his version, but we all figured out the truth. Derrick’s in cuffs and on his way to the station. Jonesy said you’ll have to go down and give a statement. Can you do that?”
Jonesy, head of Dad’s security team and brother to the Chief of Police, was the reason my younger antics had never gotten me locked up in juvie. He’d take care of everything. He’d arrest Derrick and make sure the bastard never looked at another girl again.
Could I tell the cops what happened to me? Would they even believe me?
“You kicked him in the groin?” Gracin asked.
I nodded, and Gracin’s smile widened.
“Then you kicked him in the face?”
I nodded again.
“You probably broke his fucking nose.”
