If You Don't Know By Now

by Teresa Southwick

  The temptation was too much to resist. Maggie peeked at him through the crack in the fence between their houses and felt very much like a little girl—like their daughter who earlier had watched him do his self-defense moves for exercise.

  Faith observed him every night. She didn’t walk around the house any more like a normal kid. She kicked and waved her arms through the air. Maggie had thought about reprimanding her, but felt it was pretty harmless. Sooner or later her daughter would get over it.

  Unlike herself. Maggie peeked through the fence again and lusted after Jack, who was just placing the sprinkler on the grass. How juvenile was her behavior? And she was supposed to guide a child on the straight and narrow? Who thought up this system?

  One way or another Maggie knew she was going to have to get a handle on this lusting thing. Letting it continue might be okay as long as there was a chance Jack returned the feeling. After that night of necking on her couch, she’d been so sure he wanted her, too. But ever since finding out Faith was his daughter, the most he’d done was invite her for pizza and keep his hands to himself. A perfect gentleman. A perfectly emotionless robot.

  How frustrating was that?

  Maggie needed to know whether or not he wanted her. She could keep her heart from harm, especially if she proved once and for all that Jack Riley was in different to her. Except as the mother of his daughter.

  She placed one sneakered foot on the trunk of the tree in her backyard and started to climb. In several moves she reached the long, sturdy branch that stretched over into his yard. After planting her backside on the branch, she slid across it to his side of the six-foot fence and held on to the limb above her head to keep from falling.

  The night was warm. He’d watered his yard and she could smell the moisture and the scent of perfumed flowers that his grand mother had taken such pride in. interesting that such a dangerous guy went above and beyond the call of duty to preserve them, she thought wryly.

  She watched him, hands on his hips with his back to her as he studied the sprinkler pattern to make sure all the plants were watered. Maggie’s heart hammered and heat flashed through her that had nothing to do with the warm night. She was playing with fire. She knew it and couldn’t stop to save her soul. In his uniform snug jeans and white T-shirt, Jack looked as if he could take on the world, his shoulders seemed a mile wide. Only the state of Texas was big enough for a man like him, she thought, sighing like the seventeen-year-old she’d been the first time she fell in love with him. His black hair curled slightly on his neck, no longer severely military-short. At this moment in time it seemed the most important thing in the world for her to run her fingers through the strands and feel the difference.

  Maggie was just about to announce her presence when he said without turning, “You know, everything I saw on the Internet about parenting said you should lead by example. About tree climbing—” He turned around and his teeth flashed white, revealing the grin on his face. “How are you going to tell Faith to do as you say, not as you do?”

  “Unless you rat me out, she’ll never know.”

  “She’s asleep?” he asked.

  “Soundly,” Maggie con firmed.

  “So what are you doing up in the tree?”

  She shrugged. “Impulse action.”

  “Impulses can get you in a lot of trouble.” His voice was soft, subdued, sexy.

  The deep, seductive sound jack hammered inside her until Maggie felt the vibrations all the way to her bones. “I don’t think it’s a problem—unless I fall.”

  “We can’t have that,” he said, moving to where she perched.

  He gazed up at her, his expression intense, un readable. He lifted up his hands and put them at her waist. Breath less, Maggie let go of the branch above her and put her palms on a far more secure, not to mention mouth-watering brace—his shoulders.

  The muscles there bunched as he easily plucked her from the branch, then let the momentum of her body slide down the front of him. Below her cut-off denims, her bare thighs, knees and shins brushed up against his strength, covered by the soft worn material of his pants. The bottom dropped right out of her stomach. Who needed sky diving for kicks? She could get the same adrenaline rush in Jack Riley’s arms.

  This had to stop, she decided.

  The first time they’d met there had been enough chemistry between them to blow Destiny to kingdom come. With situation, a little of this and a bit of that merged to make magic. That’s what they’d had. Did they still? Or was it just testosterone and estrogen commingled to make biology? Physiology? Or some other “ology”?

  Redheads were not notorious for their passive patience. With every ounce of her being Maggie needed to know where she stood with Jack—emotionally speaking. At the moment she stood with her palms on his shoulders, his hands at her waist, looking into the handsome face that had launched her on this mission in the first place. She might never get a better opportunity to find out if he cared.

  Before she could think it to death, she stood on tiptoe and touched her mouth to his. His lips were firm and unyielding—and tasted of surprise.

  He broke off the kiss. “Maggie, I— This isn’t a good idea—”

  But he didn’t let her go; he continued to hold her. His gaze was rife with intensity and need. She was certain of it. She nestled closer, as close as she could get with her clothes still on.

  “I think it’s a great idea,” she murmured.

  Raising up again, she kissed him. He went still for half a heart beat, then took command so fast it made her head spin. He wrapped his arms around her, pressing her body more firmly against him, until her breasts flattened against his chest. Hunching his shoulders slightly, he seemed to surround her, protect her. Although it felt like stepping into an emotional vortex, she’d never felt safer or more secure in her life.

  He nibbled the corner of her bottom lip, then traced the outline of her mouth until she opened for him. Without hesitation, he plunged inside, testing and teasing as he went. Her breathing grew ragged, shallow. His was a glorious match. She was hot all over yet every where he touched tingles started. With one arm securely around her waist, he moved his other hand to cup the back of her head, making the connection of their mouths more firm.

  In a sensuous haze she prayed would never clear, Maggie let him have his way with her. He kissed and caressed a path across her cheek to her ear where he captured the lobe between his teeth and gently nipped. Moving just a fraction, he lavished his intensity on the sensitive indentation just below her ear. Suddenly every tingle turned to a chill—of sheer pleasure. A moan rose in her throat. She could no more hold it back than make herself voluntarily stop kissing Jack.

  “Maggie,” he said in a ragged whisper.

  His breath stirred the hair by her ear, tickling, teasing and raising tingles that raced down her spine.

  She let out a long breath. “Yes?”

  “What you do to me—” He held her against his chest.

  Her cheek was pressed to his heart and she swore the pounding was audible. He was warm and strong and so solid she never wanted to leave.

  “I was afraid you didn’t want me,” she confessed. “You haven’t kissed me since that night on my sofa when I went head over heels. Literally,” she finished with a shaky laugh. His hands, caressing her back in a mesmerizing, seductive movement, suddenly stilled. An awful feeling stole over her. She’d said something and whatever it was, she wanted it back. Pronto.

  “Maggie, I—” He took her upper arms in his hands to hold her in place, then moved a step back from her.

  “What?”

  “This wasn’t such a good idea after all.”

  “Says who? As ideas go, it was great. From my point of view,” she said, desperately hoping he shared her point of view.

  “I’d only hurt you. Trust me on this.”

  “You should let me be the judge of that. I know what I’m doing. I’m a big girl—”

  “I’m sorry, Mags. I got carried away. Bu
t it’s not going to work.” He dragged in a breath then let it out on a sigh. “Good night, Maggie. I’ll see you at Jensen’s office tomorrow.”

  He turned and walked into the house.

  Tears burned at the backs of her eyes as she stared for a long moment at the spot where he’d stood warm and solid. Then, in full retreat, she opened his gate and went through it, back to her own yard. Her sanctuary from the cold, brutal truth.

  Jack Riley didn’t want her.

  It hit her suddenly and with crystal clarity. She’d hesitated to tell him about their daughter because she’d been afraid to find out the magic was dead. Instinctively she’d known he was a good man. He’d walked away from her once but that was explainable: they were young, he found a career, she couldn’t find him, et cetera. But he was back now—no barriers, no excuses. And he’d just walked away again.

  She’d tried to mix hormones and it blew up in her face. They had no chemistry. Correction: he had no chemistry with her. She had enough to light up downtown Destiny during the holiday season.

  Damn her stubborn, red headed impetuousness. Damn her for needing to know. He’d kissed her. He’d stolen the breath from her lungs and made her toes curl. Then as easy as you please, he’d turned his back and walked away. She’d been afraid of this. She wasn’t the same person she’d been ten years ago. That girl had been exciting. She’d sneaked around to meet him, against her parents’ wishes. Since then, he’d been all over the world, doing heroic things. She was a woman with a child and responsibilities. Pretty un exciting for a guy who ate adventure for break fast.

  “I just have to face facts,” she said to herself.

  She had feelings—not love, just feelings—for a man who couldn’t return them. How stupid was that?

  But at least she was experienced in the art of forget ting Jack Riley. She’d done it ten years ago and she would do it now.

  Or die trying.

  Chapter 10

  Jack walked out his front door and saw Maggie unlock her car. It was thirty minutes until they met with Jensen Stevens to start the process of legalizing his status as Faith’s father. He wasn’t surprised to see Maggie, because of the joint scheduled meeting. But he wished he had a dollar for every time he saw her coming or going, when he wasn’t expecting to. Bending to retrieve her daily news pa per and giving him a front row seat for viewing her cute, curvy backside. Or doing yard work she should have a man to do. Maybe he should offer. Maybe—

  He shook his head. Thoughts like that one would get him in a world of trouble. From there it was a stone’s throw to maybe they should be a traditional family— daughter, mother, father. And husband. He couldn’t do that to Maggie. It was a fact that he was Faith’s father and he planned to do the right thing by her. But he wouldn’t compound anything by tying Maggie to him legally. He cared too much about her to do that.

  If only he didn’t have to see her all the time.

  He turned back to lock his front door. There was a good possibility that a conspiracy existed against him, with his grand mother the brains, heart and soul behind it. Why else would she have made that ridiculous stipulation in her will? Had she known Faith was his daughter? Was Maggie telling the truth when she’d claimed that she’d told no one?

  There. He’d done it again. His military training had taught him to look for the worst in people and he’d learned his lesson well. It was proof that he had no business acting on his feelings for Maggie. She deserved a man who saw light not darkness.

  That was the reason he’d pushed her away the night before. It had cost him—big time. But it was the right thing to do.

  She turned and he knew the exact moment she spotted him. Her whole body stiffened. In spite of the warm day, he felt a chill—from her.

  He walked down his two steps and across his driveway to hers. “Hi.”

  She stood with her car door open. “Jack.”

  He saw pain followed by anger in her eyes. “Can I give you a lift into Destiny?”

  “No, thanks. I have to open the shop when we’re finished with Jensen and I’ll need my car later.” She lowered the sun glasses that were perched on her head.

  “Okay.”

  Without another word, she got into her car and slammed the door. He watched her drive away. The cold shoulder was no more than he deserved after the way he’d treated her. The memory of kissing her sent shock waves of heat radiating through him even now. Everything about her was light and color, sunshine and sweet ness. He craved her warmth like food, water and the air he breathed. He wouldn’t change a thing about her. Which was why he would never push for an association past fathering Faith. It could change all three of them. And not in a good way.

  A little while later Jack arrived in Destiny, just as Maggie disappeared inside Jensen’s building. It was on Main Street nestled between the sheriff’s office and Charlie’s Tractor Supply, across from the urgent care clinic, This ’N That, and the computer store Maggie had told him about. He looked at the For Sale sign in the window for several moments, wondering if it was a sign in more ways than one.

  Finally, he went inside for the appointment with his attorney. Jensen Stevens hadn’t been there long, a fact that would have been obvious even to someone who wasn’t detail-oriented. There was a desk in the center of the room with two folding chairs in front of it. Judging by the cords and wires on the floor, she had a working phone and computer. Maggie was already sitting.

  “Hi, Jack,” Jensen greeted him. “How are you?”

  “Good,” he lied. After that single word, silence echoed in the room. He felt as if he should make small talk. Unfortunately, his covert training hadn’t prepared him to deal with an ex-lover who’d given birth to his daughter and the lawyer who was going to handle the details to make her legally his.

  Jensen smiled. “Thanks for coming. This won’t take long.”

  “Good. I have to get to work.” Maggie didn’t look at him. She held herself as stiff as a military guard in front of the White House. Her hands were folded in her lap.

  Jensen gestured, indicating he should take the other chair. “Sorry, this is all I have to offer at the moment.”

  “No problem.” He didn’t feel either woman needed to know that he’d spent days and weeks in places where there was no furniture at all or even a traditional roof over his head.

  “This is all about pa per work,” Jen said, looking from him to Maggie. “The first step is adding Jack’s name to Faith’s birth certificate. I’ll file the papers with the county then petition the court to legally change her name to Faith Elizabeth Riley.”

  “Has a nice ring to it,” he commented with a grin. He couldn’t suppress his pride at the sound of that.

  “Yeah, it does,” Jen agreed. “There will be a waiting period. Then we’ll have to appear before the judge and it all becomes final and legal. Any questions?”

  “What about joint custody?” he asked.

  “That’s up to Maggie.”

  The woman in question glanced at him then, her eyes turning the shade of hunter green that meant clouds dimmed her sunshine. Guilt and regret pricked him.

  “I have no objection. Faith wants to spend time with her father and I think it’s important that she does.”

  “Child support?” Jack asked.

  Maggie’s small, pointed chin lifted a fraction. “I don’t need anything from you.”

  Jensen cleared her throat. “The court will require support, or joint custody will be denied. You might want to reconsider, Maggie.”

  She shook her head. “Nope. Faith and I have been doing fine on our own. I don’t want or need to go down that road.”

  Jack half turned toward her. “But, Maggie—”

  “Jack, my mind is made up. Keep your money and—”

  Jen held up her hands. “We don’t have to decide that today. If it becomes necessary, we can always go before the judge to institute support.”

  “No court has to tell me it’s right to support my daughter,” Jack said. �
�Decide what’s fair and we’ll do it now. Legal and proper. Along with medical benefits and anything else she needs.”

  “No one can accuse you of being a deadbeat dad,” Jen commented.

  “Through no one’s fault, I was,” he said. “Not anymore.”

  “Okay. I’ll take care of it,” Jensen agreed. “Unless either of you can think of anything else, I think that about takes care of what we need to start the ball rolling.”

  “That was fast,” he said.

  Jensen laughed. “I said it would be.”

  “Yeah, but I didn’t really believe you,” he commented. There it was again, always looking for the worst.

  “Law is a lot about research and filing paper work,” Jen explained.

  Maggie stood. “I have to go. Thanks for everything, Jen.”

  “My pleasure.”

  Before Jack could stand and get to the door to open it for her, she was gone. “That woman is fast,” he said wryly.

  “That woman is in love with you.”

  Jack’s head snapped around to look at the lawyer. Maggie in love with him? Elation spread through him— followed swiftly by a brutal reality check. No way would a woman like her fall for a guy like him.

  “You’ve been breathing too much of that research book dust, counselor.”

  Jensen met his gaze with a shrewd, penetrating one of her own. “I think you’re in love with her, too.”

  Jack laughed, a sound without humor. “You’re way off base.”

  “I don’t think so.”

  “Is this part of your legal service?” he asked.

  “Nope. Gut feeling. I’ve learned never to discount it. My gut is telling me that you and Maggie started something ten years ago that’s alive and well today. You’re crazy about each other. And I’m throwing that in for free.”