The Unlikely Heroes

by Sarah Noffke

  Bermuda wasn’t warmed by the compliment. “I’m always expanding and rewriting Mysterious Creatures. When I signed on to write that book, I knew it would never be done. There’s always new information to include.”

  “So, much like having a child, it’s a nonstop job.”

  This seemed to soften the giant slightly. “You really need to see Rudolf?”

  “Yes, it’s a matter of national security,” Liv stated.

  Bermuda raised an eyebrow at her.

  Liv resigned slightly. “Okay, it’s not national security. Not really, but I’ve always wanted to say that. Papa Creola’s Hourglass of All of Time has been stolen, and—”

  Bermuda’s eyes widened in sudden alarm as she jumped to the side. “The Hourglass of All Time? Why didn’t you say so?” She flung the door she’d been guarding back. “Get in there. Do whatever you need to do to get it back right away.”

  “O-o-okay,” Liv stuttered. The giant must have known that without the hourglass, Papa Creola’s life was at risk.

  Bermuda shut the door, muttering as she did, “What am I going to do with that girl? Why can’t she simply tell me when there’s a danger to the fabric of time? It’s not that difficult.”

  Chapter Seventeen

  Upon entering Rudolf’s chambers, she froze. “Ummm, what’s going on here?”

  Serena was wearing a white nightgown and chanting as she stepped over Rudolf lying on the floor. Then she took two more paces and stepped over another man, who had his eyes wide open and was very pale. His cheeks were sunken, and he was frozen. Serena turned around, continuing to mutter, and stepped over the man again, and then Rudolf.

  “We’re doing a fertility ritual,” Rudolf said, staring up at the ceiling.

  “Right,” Liv said, drawing the word out. “Who is your friend?”

  “Oh, don’t you recognize her?” Rudolf asked. “That’s my bride, Serena.”

  Liv rolled her eyes. “No, I mean the guy who looks like he belongs in a casket.”

  “Oh, that’s Jacen,” Rudolf explained. “And good eye. He’s dead.”

  “Did he die before or after you started this fertility ritual?” Liv asked. “How long has this been going on?”

  “He’s been dead for ages,” Rudolf stated as Serena continued to prance back and forth, stepping over the live and then the dead man.

  “Did you kill him?” Liv had to ask.

  Rudolf chuckled like this was funny. “Of course not. He died of natural causes. The poor chap was hit by a car on the Strip.”

  “That’s not natural causes,” Liv explained.

  “It is if you saw how much he’d had to drink,” Rudolf stated. “Anyway, he donated his body to science.”

  Liv listened to Serena’s strange chanting. “I’m not sure there is anything scientific about what is going on here.”

  “Well, he also donated his body to my kingdom,” Rudolf said. “Many fae do that since our bodies have many magical properties. Our wings, for instance, can be crushed and used in a potion that makes one fly. And our toenails can be used to make one run faster. And our eyelashes have been known to—”

  “I think I get the point,” Liv interrupted. “Eyelashes used for better vision.”

  “To make one taller,” Rudolf corrected.

  Liv paused. “Okay, I didn’t see that one coming.”

  “Anyway, good old Jacen here donated his body, and it’s perfect for this fertility ritual,” Rudolf explained. “Bermuda believes it can help Serena to conceive if she steps over a dead man and a live one in rotation three thousand times. I’m the live one.”

  “Thanks for the clarification,” Liv stated. “I’m here because I need your help.”

  “Bottom right drawer of my desk,” he said, nodding to the corner where his minimalistic desk sat.

  “What’s in there?” Liv asked, curious.

  “The answers to this week’s crossword puzzle.”

  “You think I came all this way because… You know what, never mind. Anyway, what I need is a fleet of ships,” Liv stated. “Papa Creola has an important mission, and I—”

  “Stop right there,” Rudolf ordered as Serena stepped on the other side of him. She sighed, looking exhausted. “Was that it?”

  She nodded. “Yes, that was three-thousand.”

  Rudolf popped to his feet and placed a kiss on his wife’s cheek. “Good work, my love. Now you need to go make me a peanut butter and jelly sandwich, but be sure to do it barefoot.”

  “Isn’t that traditional thinking?” Liv asked.

  Rudolf gave her an impatient expression. “Do you or don’t you want to be a godmother?”

  “I-I-I don’t,” Liv stammered.

  “Parenthood is scary for us all, Liv,” Rudolf continued. “You’re going to rise to the challenge. But there will be no little Captain Picard if Serena doesn’t do as I say.”

  “Can we talk about the naming options?” Liv asked.

  Rudolf shook his head with conviction. “No, we absolutely can’t.”

  “What if she’s a girl?”

  “Why do you think I have Serena wearing men’s boxers right now?” Rudolf asked.

  “Because no one did laundry?”

  He chuckled. “No, because we’re going to have three boys first and then a girl. Three princes and one princess.”

  “Oh, God,” Liv said, covering her face.

  “I know,” Rudolf said, not sensing her blatant concern.

  He patted Serena on the bottom. “Remember to put pickles in your peanut butter and jelly sandwich, and what else?”

  The mortal patted her flat belly. “To complain about stretch marks and how the kids’ father is a good-for-nothing jerk who does nothing around the house.”

  “Exactly,” Rudolf said victoriously. “Keep this up, and we’ll be pregnant in no time.”

  Serena sauntered off, bickering about how her boobs were sore and she couldn’t hold anything down these days.

  Proudly, Rudolf turned to Liv, his thumbs pressed into the waistband of his pants. “Pretty impressive, huh?”

  “Those aren’t the words I was thinking of to describe what I just saw, but okay,” she said, eyeing the dead man lying on the floor behind Rudolf.

  “So, you need a fleet of ships,” he stated confidently. “I’m happy to help with that.”

  Liv let out a breath of relief. “That’s great. Thank you. I was hoping—”

  “Of course, there is a catch,” he interrupted.

  “I would expect nothing else,” she stated, deflating suddenly. “I thought you weren’t going to hold me to binding fae agreements anymore, though.”

  “I’m not,” he agreed matter-of-factly. “I simply see this as a perfect opportunity for you and me to work together, just like old times.”

  Liv drew an irritated breath. “The last time you asked me to work with you, you lied and got me to break into Subner’s shop and steal from Papa Creola.”

  “Which turned into an awesome friendship with Father Time.”

  Liv shook her head. “I work for the tiny gnome because otherwise, he’d literally have my head.”

  “But you love it, right?” Rudolf asked.

  Liv considered this. “I don’t hate it, but it’s all relative at this point.”

  “Well, it’s just that you need a fleet of ships, and I really need an adventure before I populate the fleet with half-breeds.”

  Covering her revulsion, Liv swallowed. “Can you not talk like that?”

  Rudolf gave her a confused expression. “You don’t want me to talk about the fleet of ships you need?”

  “No, that’s fine. Just tell me about this arrangement you want to make in exchange for the fleet.”

  “Well, who are you going after?” Rudolf asked.

  Liv slumped, trying to downplay what she had to say next. “It’s just boring pirates.”

  Rudolf jumped straight into the air, clapping. “Pirates! I love killing pirates.”

  “How many
have you taken down?”

  He shrugged. “None yet, but this is exactly what I’ve been looking for. How can I name my first three children Captain unless I’m the captain of my own ship?”

  “What can I say to keep you from doing that?” Liv asked.

  “Becoming a captain?”

  She shook her head. “Naming your first three children the same thing. Have you considered other names that are still awful but not as bad, like Shadow, Butler, or Buck?”

  Rudolf considered that. “I don’t think so. I have enough trouble remembering Serena’s name. I think keeping the boys’ names the same will be best for everyone.”

  “Okay, so in order to help me, you want to go with me to fight these pirates, is that right?” Liv asked.

  He nodded adamantly.

  “And in return for allowing you to accompany me, you’ll give me a fleet of ships with a crew?”

  “Yes,” Rudolf answered. “And since you aren’t as important as me, you’ll be the admiral of the fleet. I’ll be the all-powerful captain. How does that sound?”

  Liv smiled inwardly. “That sounds good, Captain.”

  Chapter Eighteen

  When most thought of Hawaii, beach vacations came to mind. These people didn’t know about the large population of hippies who called these islands home. Elves had a strange disposition toward hippie-ism, for some reason. It was similar to the way the fae were predisposed to materialism, and giants craved solitude. Gnomes were known for their lack of hospitality, and magicians sought order. Each of the races had their personality quirks. Well, except for mortals. They were diverse, not falling into any particular stereotype.

  The elf kingdom, in contrast to that of the fae, was quite modest. There were no skyscrapers or casinos. Instead, rising up to the clouds were the peaks of Kauai, Hawaii. The beaches were pristine, hardly touched by development. And somewhere, hidden from mortals and most others, was the kingdom the elves called home.

  After Liv stepped through the portal, her boot sank into the white sand on the beach. She enjoyed the salty air as the wind licked through her hair. However, she wasn’t granted another moment to enjoy the emerald waters.

  “Another magician,” an elf said behind her.

  Liv turned to find a man wearing an Hawaiian shirt and cut-off khakis. He appeared old, with his silver hair and wrinkles around his squinting eyes. But that impression was contradicted by how his hair was arranged in long dreadlocks down his back and the thick plugs he wore in his earlobes. He appeared ready for a Bob Marley concert and a stroll down Venice beach with the other hippies who congested that area south of the House of Fourteen.

  Liv bowed her head in respect to the elven king, Dakota Skye. “Thank you for agreeing to meet with me.”

  He motioned to a fire in the sand several yards away. “I didn’t do it because you’re a Warrior for the House of Fourteen. I did it because Papa Creola asked me to, and it is my fault that his hourglass has been stolen.”

  “Your fault?” Liv asked, copying Dakota as he took a seat next to the fire. It was hot out, and Liv didn’t think that sitting next to an open flame sounded like a good idea. But she didn’t want to irritate the king of the elves, so she slipped off her cloak and joined him as he sat cross-legged in front of the fire.

  “Yes, I believe it is,” Dakota began. “You see, Father Time came here searching for delegates to work for him, similar to how you do. I was honored by the interest, but since he hadn’t been seen in quite some time, I was worried that he might not be the real Father Time. I went to my council, asking for their advice. One of them suggested that I have him bring the Hourglass of All of Time with him to prove his identity.”

  Liv watched as the king used a tool to place a small flat stone into the flames. He rested it there as he gazed at her, seemingly waiting for her to comment.

  “Do you need me to prove my identity?” Liv asked, made uncomfortable by the intense way he was studying her.

  “It appears that mindreading runs in your veins,” Dakota said.

  She shook her head. “No, it was just a lucky guess. How would you like me to prove I’m Liv Beaufont, Warrior for the House of Fourteen?”

  “I’ve heard tales of your adventures, Warrior Beaufont. You haven’t been with the House for long, and already you’ve made quite the name for yourself.”

  “I’m not sure that is a good thing,” she stated, watching as he turned the rock in the fire with the tool.

  “Attracting attention to yourself is indeed a risk,” he reasoned. “When others notice us, our egos come out. That’s one reason many of my people choose to live here, away from the influences of popular culture.”

  Liv eyed the jungle behind them. No one would suspect that in those trees resided a large population of elves, all dirty and barefoot, probably braiding each other’s hair and talking about their star charts.

  “The Warrior I’ve heard tales of has a sword made by giants,” Dakota continued. “Did you bring this sword with you? Is that it?” He pointed to Bellator at her hip.

  “Yes. Do you want me to show it to you to prove my identity?” Liv asked.

  He shook his head. “Also, this Warrior who may or may not be you was gifted with fireball magic by the gnomes. Can you produce fireballs at will?”

  Again, she nodded. “Yes, so do you want me to show you?”

  “No,” Dakota stated at once. “And this warrior also is very close to the king of the fae, having stood by his side during his coronation and his wedding to a mortal. Did you do that?”

  “Yes, but I don’t have any pictures of the affair since I’m still trying to block out the corseted dresses I had to wear on those occasions.”

  “And this person also was gifted with the ability to navigate the waters by the elves,” Dakota said, not amused by her comment. He had the same sense of humor as Bermuda, it seemed.

  Liv shook her head. “I think you got your information wrong. I have never been gifted with anything of the sort.”

  A small smile graced his mouth. “That’s correct, which means you must be the real Liv Beaufont.”

  Liv gave him a curious expression. “That’s it? I admit to not having something, and you know it’s the real me?”

  “Telling the truth is where those who deceive most often slip up,” Dakota explained, sounding very sage-like. “Also, to confirm things, an imposter wouldn’t offer to show me her sword or demonstrate her fireball magic, since they wouldn’t have it.”

  Liv sighed. “Yeah, I guess that’s true.”

  Dakota continued to turn the rock over in the fire, making it glow red. “As I was saying before, one of my trusted advisors suggested that Papa Creola bring his Hourglass of All of Time with him to prove his identity. As you know, since that is your current mission, he was accosted by pirates and the prized object stolen, ending our meeting before it began.”

  “Yes, and I’m here to see if you’ll tell me where to look for those pirates,” Liv said adamantly. “It’s crucial that I find that hourglass.”

  “I realize that, but my instincts also tell me that it’s important that you understand all the details I’ve learned since Father Time fled our island.”

  Liv waited for the elf to continue. After a long and strange silence, he said, “You see, ironically, we worried about confirming the identity of Father Time when it was my own advisor’s identity that should have been in question.”

  “Your advisor’s?” Liv asked, leaning forward.

  “Yes. I’ve since learned that the advisor who suggested Father Time bring the hourglass did not actually say anything about this. This person wasn’t at the meeting at all.”

  “Where were they?” Liv questioned.

  “They were locked in a cave,” he answered. “We’re not sure by whom, but later, after I investigated, I found them and learned that the one who made the suggestion was an impersonator.”

  Liv considered that, adding it to all the strange happenings lately that she couldn’t expla
in. For instance, the fact that Spencer Sinclair, the newest warrior for the House of Fourteen, had been in the swamp, attacking her. Later she learned he was an illusion, which gave her no information to do anything about at present.

  “This person who impersonated one of your advisors,” Liv began. “They looked exactly like them, right?”

  Dakota nodded.

  “And what else?” Liv asked.

  “Well, aside from wanting the hourglass, they were adamant about not accepting any alliance with the House. I trusted this person and agreed.”

  “Are you willing to revisit the treaty now that you know they weren’t the real person?” Liv asked, hoping suddenly this could finally put an end to the negotiations.

  Unfortunately, a frown formed on Dakota’s face, making her spirits plummet. “I fear there are other concerns about the treaty. Your council has long looked down on us, saying we are savages who don’t have the capability of reasoning, as magicians do.”

  “The council?” Liv questioned.

  “Well, specifically, we received a letter from Councilor Lorenzo Rosario recently, stating that as the reason we couldn’t get over the injustices Warrior Decar Sinclair did to my people.”

  Liv remembered. Decar had murdered many elves when the negotiations went south. That was one of the reasons Stefan had subsequently worked so hard to earn their trust. It now appeared that Lorenzo was undermining any efforts.

  “I’m sorry about what happened to your people,” Liv said sincerely. “I hope that soon we can put the past behind us and strike a compromise that benefits all.”

  “I’m not so sure,” Dakota said. “There is much on the horizon for the House. We are undecided how we feel about it.”

  And that was exactly how elves were different than magicians. They felt their way through things, whereas magicians thought their way through them. Many saw that as a major divide between the races, but Liv saw it as a potential strength. What better way to balance things than to have races that saw and dealt with problems differently?

  Liv let out a breath, realizing she wasn’t going to be able to kill two birds with one stone and help with the treaty on this visit. “So someone has been impersonating your advisors, and they’re the ones responsible for this thief, correct?”