Show No Fear
Page 7
“Does Angie meet you at the door with a ‘Hi, darling’? Bring you your newspaper in the evenings?” Nina felt she should be crying but her eyes were dry and her voice rock hard. “Will you buy her a new couch when she wants one?” Old stories, old wounds. They marched out and erected a wall.
“Take a look at it again, Nina, when you recover from the shock. Get used to the idea. Everyone better just get used to the idea. A new life. A child. A new family. This is a good thing.”
She tried to wrap her mind around people in the world without food, water, and bare necessities, but her mother’s face overrode every single thought. After decades, the family she and Matt had known was dissolving.
So she thought, shit. Repeated three times.
Then she looked around. “Dad? Where’s Bob?”
They split up. Harlan took the touchy-feely area where kids could hold urchins and sea cucumbers. Nina ran back toward the shark tank.
They met up in front of the lobby gift shop. By now Nina was crying.
“We’ll find him, honey,” Harlan said, seeming surprised at her sudden complete disintegration. “Kids get lost, and then you find them.”
“You check the otters outside. I’ll check the upper deck, then the theater, okay?”
“Okay.” They split up again.
Nina rushed up to the deck at the top of the otter exhibit, one of Bob’s favorite places. No Bob.
She looked down at the layer of people below. Again, no son.
He was wearing a bright red shirt and carrying his favorite stuffy, a white seal he called Harp.
She caved in to fear so severe she felt earthquaked, firestormed, hit by an asteroid. “Bob!” she shouted. “Bob! Oh my God! Bob!”
People looked up at her from below, curious.
A security guard, female, looking concerned, materialized beside her almost immediately. “You lost someone?”
“My son! His name is Bob. He’s four years old, wearing a red shirt. Poppy-colored. Some orange mixed—he’s four years old.”
“Ma’am, we’ll find him. He’s here at the aquarium, okay? I promise we’ll find him. He got stuck staring at the sharks or the jellies or the undersea camera.” She took Nina’s arm, trying to steer her down the stairs.
“You don’t know he’s okay! Don’t you lie to me.”
“Kids get lost here every hour of every day,” the guard said as they continued down. “Chances are, he’s okay. Please don’t panic.”
“I need to meet my dad. Maybe he found Bob. Maybe he did.”
The guard nodded and rushed with her toward the huge kelp tank. Dozens of people stared, riveted at the sight of huge fish circling, nowhere to go.
Harlan huffed up beside her. “No luck.” He put his arm around her shoulders. “Nina, honey, we’ll find him. Please don’t cry like that.”
“Let me check with our people, okay?” The security guard, with a badge reading AUGUSTA, began speaking into a walkie-talkie.
“Lost and found,” Harlan said, holding Nina tightly. “Like a lost wallet. Some honest person found it and will return it. Him. This isn’t New York City, for God’s sake.”
She didn’t answer.
“You are such a stressed-out mom. He’s a kid, okay? He wandered away. Strangers who abduct children are so rare, honey. Just people in the media make it into big news.”
“You don’t get it!” Nina pulled away from him, shouting.
Harlan looked bewildered. Even the security guard stepped back nervously.
“Richard has been coming around. He wants custody. He wants visitation. He wants to ruin our lives!”
“Richard Filsen?” All the ruddy Irish blood in her father’s face drained.
“Oh, Dad. What if he kidnapped Bob?” Here in stark relief, her fears had an outlet and a power she could not control. She wanted to die. She wanted to live. To see Richard Filsen dead and gone and her son by her side unsullied, untroubled, perfect as always.
“That’s impossible. Richard Filsen is out of the picture.”
She didn’t have time to register the strange parallel response he and Ginny shared at the thought of Richard’s reappearance because at that exact moment, a young woman with a stroller approached them, Bob’s hand in hers.
“I couldn’t find you, Mommy, and I needed to go.”
“Don’t worry.” The young woman smiled. “I had an extra Huggie for him.”
CHAPTER 9
REMY LIKED JACK. SHE LIKED HIM SO MUCH THAT SHE HAD suspended her better judgment by getting involved with him. But just barely into the relationship she was seeing her worst fears realized. He was possessive, even critical. Why was it that once a man got to know you, he wanted nothing more than to change you? Bad timing on Jack’s part.
She felt self-confident these days, stronger, taller, slimmer. She liked how close to the bone she had become. She had an exciting prospect ahead of her. Rick Halpern, current president of the county Bar Association, had passed on rumors that one of the Superior Court judges was about to retire. “Gonna go for it, Remy? You know you’ve got my support,” he had said, giving her a little squeeze on the arm. The casualness of his comment thrilled her. Apparently, others viewed her as a realistic candidate.
She wanted it. She would channel all her energies into getting it. She would make whatever sacrifices were necessary, and she would be the best and brightest judge Monterey County had ever seen.
She had a court appearance scheduled this morning. Bending her head down so that her hair fell forward and brushing from her neck up, she luxuriated for a moment in the sheer pleasure of her life. The coffee was hot; her house was in excellent order. Even this tension with Jack excited her. She had wanted him for a long time. He was such a temptation. He had no idea how tempting, even though he wasn’t very tall. She saw the looks other women gave him when the two of them were together.
Just like Jack to be oblivious to his own charms. The world was gracious to Jack. Life was easy. She on the other hand worked hard for everything. Only lately could she relax like this and enjoy the richness she had earned with her efforts, including this house on the beach.
Ten minutes later, she pulled the Acura off the highway onto Aguajito right by Monterey Peninsula College, gliding up the hill to the three-story courthouse and jail. She found a parking space quickly. She always found a parking space here, a far cry from the main Chicago Circuit Court.
In Chicago, nobody would have recommended her for a judgeship. That was why she’d left. No matter how many times she proved herself there, she couldn’t shake the initial image that had formed because of that one stupid mistake. Well, it was natural to want to gentle the raw bones in adulthood. It never paid to hang around where the kids remembered your big, awkward elbows.
As she walked into the courtroom, heads turned. A judge looked over his glasses at her before looking back to the files in front of him. The criminal defendants in orange jumpsuits waited patiently to be led back to jail until their next hearing. She walked past mostly empty pews reserved for witnesses and spectators, through the low gate, to the nearest empty chair in the lawyers’ section. Derek Agee leaned over and whispered in her ear, “You’re up next. He didn’t notice you weren’t here for roll call.”
“Thanks,” she whispered. She sat back in her chair waiting for the court to come back around to her case, which involved a union grocery-store clerk who had been fired for having a couple of garnishments against his paycheck. Barry Tzanck, opposing counsel, represented the insurance company for the grocery chain. He studied his notes. She opened her briefcase and removed three stapled pages. She passed them down to Tzanck, who took them, looked at them, and began to shake his head as he read.
Judge Sturdy called her case. She and Tzanck stood before the bar. Tzanck started to talk, but the judge brushed his arguments off with a wave of his hand.
“I am inclined to find that Mr. Tzanck’s motion to dismiss this case is well-taken, Ms. Sorensen,” the judge said. “Do you have
anything you wish to add?”
Lying awake in bed the night before, Remy had rehearsed this moment. How had it begun? “Yes, Your Honor,” she said slowly. “I stand before the Court today ready to concede many points because the concessions no longer matter. That is because, Your Honor, the argument Mr. Tzanck and I were going to have today has just been decided by the United States Supreme Court in its decision in Rosetta v. Happy Valley Grocery Stores.” That case had been pending for two years. Nobody expected the decision would be out this term because of the large volume of death-penalty appeals.
She walked over to the clerk and handed her a copy of the case opinion, which was then handed on to the judge. She looked at Tzanck, who was devastated, although he was trying not to show it. He had to answer to a senior claims adjuster, who was not going to be happy. “I regret I could not get a copy of this dispositive case to Mr. Tzanck earlier. But of course he has several research associates whom I must assume brought the case to his attention.” She observed the other attorney out of the corner of her eye, deflated as a busted balloon, and rightly so. He had been absolutely confident of a win. He’d had all the case law on his side until four days before, but had failed to check the newest decisions.
Remy had asked Nina to check the most recent cases yesterday. Nina had come through.
“The Court will take a fifteen-minute recess to read this case. Then we’ll see the two of you in chambers,” Judge Sturdy said mildly. He had already skimmed the headnotes. He knew she had Tzanck.
“How many rabbits do you keep in that invisible hat, Remy?” Derek said with admiration when she left the courtroom a little later.
Surrounded by a flurry of papers that needed filing or action, Nina sat at her desk unable to work. She couldn’t get her latest bout with Richard out of her mind. She saw that a DNA test loomed, and that once his paternity was established, he would have a permanent place in her life. She had hands on both cheeks, although they weren’t working so well to hold her head together.
How had it come to this? Was Richard dying or something? Was there no way out of this mess?
“Hey, play tennis with me this afternoon?” Jack said.
“Tennis? Huh?”
“I’m thinking you’ll lose and I’ll look good.”
“Further confirming you’re a smart man.”
“What’s the matter?”
Sighing, even reduced to wringing hands, Nina told him. “Is it possible Richard could get custody?”
“No.”
“No?”
“We won’t let that happen. We’ll do whatever it takes to help you.”
His confidence bolstered her. She felt a tear roll down her cheek. “I can’t lose Bob, Jack.”
“I know.” He put a hand on her shoulder.
And it sizzled like a house on fire.
Matt arrived a few minutes after Jack left, again needing money.
“No,” Nina said shortly.
“You’d let me starve?”
“Come to dinner with me and Bob. I’ll make meat loaf with ketchup just the way you like it, okay? No need to starve. Mom likes to cook for you, too, and her food’s way better.”
“Nina, c’mon. You can spare fifty.” He gestured around her office, taking it in. “Or how about twenty?”
“She’s out there waiting for you, isn’t she?” Nina nodded toward the window.
“Huh? Who?”
“Your drug-dealing pal, Zinnia.”
He did not flinch. “No.”
“Matt, you lie to me. You lie to yourself. I’m onto you, okay? Don’t ask me for any more money. I won’t give you any.”
“You’re my sister. You should help me when I need help.”
“I won’t help you buy drugs.”
“I need money for rent!”
“Move home. Mom would love the company, and she has an empty bedroom just waiting for you.”
Suddenly, he looked like her little brother again, angelic and mischievous. “Nina, you know I’d drive her as crazy as I’ve driven myself.”
“I didn’t suggest it was a good idea, did I?”
They parted on good terms, as they usually did, him shrugging off her refusal, her admiring her sweet brother, and so sad, watching him slink away, defeated and nervous.
She loved him so helplessly.
On her way up the courthouse hallway, Remy was stopped by a gaunt-looking woman with a cane. “Excuse me for bothering you.”
“No problem,” said Remy. “What can I do for you?”
“Well, first of all, my name is Virginia Reilly. You know my daughter, Nina. She works for your firm.” This bent-over person looked old enough to be Nina’s grandmother. “Nina mentioned you might be here and told me what you looked like. Cute jacket, by the way.”
“Thanks,” said Remy automatically. “Please go on.” She felt a wave of sympathy for this woman who looked so fragile, Nina’s mother.
“I need a lawyer,” said Mrs. Reilly.
“For?”
“An acupuncturist stuck needles in my fingers. An infection developed, a very bad infection, and they had to take—”
“What did they take, Mrs. Reilly?”
At the same moment Virginia Reilly raised her arm and pulled up a loose sleeve. “My left hand. You see. It’s gone. Gangrene. Such a horrible word. Sorry, it’s hard to say and must be even harder to hear. Nina has been urging me—she says we should make some sort of claim.”
“I’m so sorry,” said Remy, shocked. She moved her eyes with an effort back up to the woman’s face. “Here’s my card. I’ll be happy to discuss this with you more, tomorrow in my office. I’ll ask Nina to set it up. Would you like her there?”
Mrs. Reilly shook her head. “Leave her out of this, but I do thank you, Miss Sorensen.”
“Call me Remy.” She gave Mrs. Reilly a pat on the shoulder and walked down the stairs. She had places to go. She put the poor lady out of her mind.
CHAPTER 10
WHEN NINA ARRIVED AT THE OFFICE THE NEXT MORNING, Astrid cornered her on the way in and asked her to verify a pile of petty-cash slips.
The usual motley crew of clients sat draped around the reception area, their faces expressing discomfort or desperation.
Down the hall Nina passed Jack’s office, then turned into her own tiny office, which seemed smaller than it was because of the bookshelves from floor to ceiling on three walls. Before she could pick up the phone, Jack walked in and plopped down in a chair. His hair nudged his collar. He needed a shave. Fidgeting, he said, “Hot in here. I’d suggest you open the window if you had one.”
“Good morning to you, too,” said Nina. “You sure have been dragging around here lately. You okay?”
“The usual. I’m too old for this shit.” Jack’s eyes drooped but on the whole he looked pleased with himself.
“Oh, yes, happy belated birthday. Just keep those gray hairs sprinkling around the temple. Makes you look very distingué.” She wondered if he had had a party.
“Such language,” Jack murmured. “How’re you doing?”
She thought about the appalling fear she had barely survived on Sunday, thinking of Bob lost forever. Gone. But these were not thoughts to share with a handsome attorney who made her shiver sometimes, just walking past. “Well, Halloween is weeks away, and Bob keeps coming up with new concepts for his costume, and they keep getting more complicated. He’s so excited about going trick-or-treating for the first time.”
“I remember those days. Magic in the air.”
“Main reason never to grow up.”
“Then you’d miss out on the X-rated stuff.”
Nina smiled and indulged in a fantasy. She and Jack would go out to dinner, do some kissing after, maybe even go back to her place, where magic would indeed fill the air.
“You need some fun,” Jack said as if reading her mind.
Oh, we could sure have some fun, but you’re all tangled up with Remy, Nina thought. “You have something in mind?”
“Blind date. Uh-oh.” She lifted her hair off one shoulder of her sweater, leaving a damp mark behind.
Jack stood up and walked behind her, lifting a few strands of her hair. “Still wet from the shower. All that long hair’s impractical for someone who loves to surf and swim, isn’t it?”
“So tell me about this guy who needs a messy-haired blind date like me?” She moved away.
He leaned against a bookcase. “He’s a detective with Monterey County. A serious-crimes investigator. He’s working out of the Coastal Division of the sheriff’s office.”
“Hmm.”
“You don’t have to marry him. And the food at Club XIX is not frozen or from cans. And he’ll pay. He admits you’re taking a risk. He said to tell you he’s got a good Irish joke for you.”
She laughed. “Sold.”
“By the way, I ran into Richard Filsen. He continues to nurture an unhealthy interest in you. He bent my ear wanting to know all about you.”
“What did he ask, Jack?”
“Everything. He hinted a lot, you know? Before I could shut him up.”
“Assume the DNA proves he’s my son’s father.”
“Okay.”
“When the results come, do they mean I will have to allow Richard rights like visitation? He hasn’t shown any interest in Bob until now. I’ve raised him entirely on my own.”
“The judge will consider that, yes.”
“And the judge will consider Richard’s paternity.”
“Yes.”
“I feel like I made a fatal life mistake. Isn’t that awful?”
“You have your son.”
“Thank you for the reminder. Yes, I have my sonny boy. What about a restraining order that would stop Richard from hanging around me or Bob?”