The Polar Bear Explorers' Club

by Alex Bell

  Felix had first discovered the pygmy dinosaurs during a trip to the Spice Islands of the Exotic South, and had been studying them for some time. Word of his studies had got around, and now whenever a sick or injured pygmy dinosaur turned up anywhere, Felix would be contacted and asked if he would take it in. He never turned any away, and the orangery was now home to dozens of little dinosaurs.

  ‘Ah, there’s the birthday girl!’ Felix called from the table in the centre of the room. ‘Come on over and have some breakfast.’

  Stella was delighted to see that they were having ice cream, complete with sprinkles, fudge sticks and gooey chocolate toffee sauce. She was also thrilled that Felix had made dozens and dozens of balloon animals – all unicorns – and strung them up from the pterodactyl houses hanging from the ceiling. Every now and then, a pygmy pterodactyl would fly up to inspect one of the bright pink balloon unicorns, only to flutter away hastily, looking terribly confused.

  Stella sat down with Buster on her lap, gave him a fudge stick – which he snatched from her fingers greedily – and then picked up her spoon and dug in before the ice cream could melt. Everything was going superbly until a rapid tapping on the glass wall made them turn to see Aunt Agatha stood outside, peering in at them with a grim expression on her broad face.

  Stella’s heart sank. ‘I thought she wasn’t coming to pick me up until this afternoon,’ she said, giving Felix an accusing look.

  ‘So did I. She must have caught an earlier train,’ he replied. Then he sighed. ‘Well, there’s no use trying to hide from her now that she’s seen us, I suppose.’ He waved at her through the glass and raised his voice: ‘Come in, Agatha. The door is open.’

  Stella returned her attention to her ice cream as her aunt navigated the outside of the glasshouse to the door. She came stomping in a moment later dressed in a matching purple skirt and jacket, as well as a big floppy purple hat with a feather in it. Aunt Agatha was a stout woman, and Stella thought the outfit made her look rather like a giant violet frog – definitely the kind that you shouldn’t lick, just in case it turned out to be poisonous.

  ‘How nice to see you, Agatha,’ Felix said politely, standing up to pull out a chair for her. ‘Would you care for some ice cream?’

  ‘Ice cream?’ Aunt Agatha repeated in a tone of horror. Anyone would have thought that Felix had just said: ‘Would you care for some minced squid lips?’

  ‘Ice cream for breakfast?’ she went on. ‘Oh, really, Felix, really.’

  ‘It’s Stella’s birthday,’ he replied as he sat back down in his seat.

  ‘Oh, yes. Happy birthday, dear,’ Aunt Agatha said, acknowledging Stella for the first time.

  ‘Thank you, Aunt Agatha,’ Stella replied.

  Her aunt plonked herself down in a chair, clutching her handbag on her lap as if she feared someone was about to snatch it from her. She scowled at the table. ‘Felix, why on earth is there a dinosaur sitting in that cereal bowl?’

  ‘That’s Mildred,’ Felix said mildly. ‘She’s a diplodocus.’

  The tiny dinosaur was indeed nestled in the cereal bowl at Felix’s elbow, her body partially submerged in milk and fruit loops.

  ‘I didn’t ask what type it was, I asked why it’s in the cereal bowl,’ Aunt Agatha said with a sigh.

  ‘Skin complaint,’ Felix said. ‘I’m treating her with milk and fruit loops. It’s working well so far. Are you sure I can’t interest you in some ice cream? Do have a fudge stick, at least.’

  ‘It can’t be hygienic for you to be eating in here,’ Aunt Agatha replied. ‘Not with these dinosaurs running amok all over the place. It’s far too warm in this room, besides.’ She took an enormous fan from her bag and began fluttering it in front of her face in an agitated manner.

  Stella scraped the last of her ice cream from her bowl, and held her spoon out for Buster to lick before setting him down on the floor. Unfortunately, he charged straight over to Aunt Agatha and started worrying at her shoelaces with his teeth. Aunt Agatha let out a squeal and went to slap him with her fan, but Felix’s hand instantly shot out to prevent her.

  ‘Steady on,’ he said. He scooped Buster up and set him down on his lap. The T-Rex glared across the table at Aunt Agatha. He had quite a good glare. It was one of Stella’s favourite things about him.

  She was about to ask if she could be excused, as she’d rather be down in the stables with her unicorn (or pretty much anywhere else, come to that) than sat here with her disapproving aunt, but then Aunt Agatha turned to her and said, ‘Stella, dear, why don’t you run along and play outside for a little bit? I have some things to discuss with my brother in private.’

  Aunt Agatha always called Felix ‘my brother’. Never ‘your father’. Stella shrugged and hopped down from her chair as if she didn’t mind and had far more important things to be doing anyway. But if Aunt Agatha wanted to talk to Felix ‘in private’ that could only mean that she wanted to talk about Stella. And, like any self-respecting child, Stella fully intended to eavesdrop on any conversation that concerned her.

  So she went back into the house the way she’d come, grabbed her cloak and then went outside around to the marshmallow shrub at the side of the orangery. It wasn’t a very large shrub but it was just big enough to hide her from view if she gathered up her petticoats, crouched down low in the snow and didn’t move an inch. From there she could peer through the leaves and fluffy pink marshmallows at Aunt Agatha and Felix, and quite clearly hear every word that was being said.

  ‘Really, Felix, it’s too much!’ Aunt Agatha was complaining. ‘Bats in the belfry, dinosaurs in the orangery, fairies in the wood pile … I mean, where will it all end?’

  ‘Agatha, please,’ Felix replied. ‘There are no bats in the belfry. I’m not even sure what a belfry is, to be quite honest with you, but I’m reasonably certain we don’t have one here. The bats are in the smoking room. They used to favour the library but ever since that falling out with the bookworms they—’

  ‘Oh, I don’t care about the bats!’ Agatha interrupted impatiently – which Stella thought was pretty rude considering that she was the one who’d brought up the bats in the first place. ‘I care about what’s going to become of this girl.’

  ‘“This girl”,’ Felix repeated in a quiet voice. ‘Are you, perhaps, referring to my daughter, Stella?’

  ‘Felix, please be serious. She isn’t your daughter. Not really.’

  Felix stood up abruptly and there was a pause, which Stella knew meant that he was silently counting to ten inside his head. Felix said you should always count to ten if you feared you were in danger of getting angry with someone, although Stella very rarely saw Felix angry. In fact, Aunt Agatha seemed to be the only person who could succeed in spoiling his typically cheerful mood.

  ‘She is my daughter,’ Felix finally said, ‘in every way that can possibly matter.’

  ‘Listen, I came early because I wanted to speak to you seriously about just what you intend to do with her. I mean, she’s not going to be a child forever. What’s going to become of her when she grows up? She can’t just live here indefinitely, can she?’

  Felix took a watering can out of an ice box and calmly began to sprinkle fresh cold milk over Mildred, who was still happily soaking in her cereal bowl. ‘And what would you suggest, Agatha?’ he asked.

  ‘Well, I have some wonderful news, Felix. In fact, I’ve solved the problem.’ The feather in Aunt Agatha’s hat wobbled as she drew herself up in her chair. ‘I’ve secured a place for Stella at a finishing school for young ladies.’

  Felix set the watering can down. ‘But Stella already goes to school with the local children here. And I’m seeing to her education as well—’

  Aunt Agatha pointed a finger at him. ‘You’ve been filling her head up with a lot of silly nonsense from books. Stella needs to learn how to do useful things, like sew and embroider and wear a dress without ruining it in five seconds.’

  Stella couldn’t help glancing guiltily down at her party
dress. She saw that Buster had pulled some of the threads loose with his claws when he’d been on her lap earlier, and that the petticoat hem was looking rather bedraggled from trailing in the snow. It seemed Buster had drooled a little on the fabric, too. Stella sighed. Pygmy T-Rexes were prone to drooling something terrible when there were fudge sticks around.

  ‘At a finishing school for young ladies she will be taught how to sing and draw,’ Aunt Agatha went on. ‘She will be made to see that it’s incorrect for a girl to gallop about on unicorns and pore over dusty old maps. Her posture will be corrected. The girls there spend an hour every day walking up and down with books on their heads.’

  Felix gaped at her. ‘Do they really?’

  Aunt Agatha gave an emphatic nod. ‘Yes, indeed. Two hours, sometimes.’

  ‘That time would be better spent reading the books, surely?’

  ‘It is a quite splendid establishment,’ Aunt Agatha said, pretending not to have heard him. ‘If Stella were to spend even one term there, you would be amazed at the change in her, Felix, really you would.’

  ‘I don’t doubt that for a moment,’ Felix replied.

  ‘They’ll show her how to do her hair in the latest fashion,’ Aunt Agatha said, warming to her theme. ‘And she’ll be taught how to dance, and apply powder and rouge, and make herself attractive to a gentleman. Then, when she’s older, a suitable marriage can be made for her and she will be someone else’s responsibility. I’ve thought it all through, Felix, and this is the only way. I know you’re fond of taking in these snow orphans but a girl is quite different to a polar bear – I mean, even you must realise that.’

  Stella held her breath, her heart hammering in her chest. What if Felix agreed with Aunt Agatha? She was sure it would break her heart if he sent her away. Suddenly she wished she hadn’t been so grumpy with him last night. She wished she’d been a better daughter and that she’d told him how much she loved him fifty times every single day.

  Felix turned away from the table and Stella gasped as she realised he was walking over to the glass wall right where she was hiding on the other side. She slunk down lower in the snow and tried to keep as still as possible whilst staring at Felix’s boots, which had come to a stop right in front of her.

  ‘It’s a fine plan, Agatha,’ she heard him say, making a thrill of dread run through her entire body. ‘But I’m not convinced that Stella would care much for embroidery.’

  Stella risked a glance up through the pink marshmallows of the shrub and was startled to find Felix looking right at her. His mouth quirked upwards slightly in a half smile, and he gave her a wink.

  ‘Besides which,’ he went on, scratching his cheek, ‘walking up and down with books balanced on one’s head seems like the most dreadful waste of one’s time. I know I’m no expert on womanly things, but there’s got to be more to a young girl’s life than singing and dancing, surely? They’re not performing monkeys, after all.’

  ‘Felix, I really must insist. The arrangements have all been made. Stella will start at the school tomorrow.’

  ‘My dear Agatha, I know you mean well, but you have no right to insist. In fact, you have no say in this matter at all. Stella will not start at the school – tomorrow or ever.’ Felix turned around from the window. ‘Thank you for coming, but I think, in fact, I shan’t need you to look after Stella on this occasion.’

  ‘You can’t mean that you’re just going to leave her here with the servants and these awful dinosaur things?’ Agatha said. ‘She needs to be properly supervised!’

  ‘I will supervise her properly. She’ll come with me on the expedition.’

  Stella gasped. Aunt Agatha’s mouth gaped open. ‘You can’t take a girl on an expedition, Felix! It cannot be done!’

  ‘Why can’t it be done?’ Felix asked, at once. ‘I’m sure a great number of extraordinary and incredible things have been achieved despite others saying that they cannot be done. Sometimes maybe even because of it.’

  ‘Girls can’t be explorers! The very idea! Can you honestly imagine a woman tearing about the place with sleighs and compasses, and getting stuck in avalanches, and resorting to cannibalism, and goodness knows what else? No, no – it’s all much too dangerous, much too unseemly.’

  ‘First of all, I’ve been a polar explorer for twenty years,’ Felix said calmly, whilst ticking the points off on his fingers, ‘and I have never yet been stuck in an avalanche. Secondly, we use sleds during expeditions, not sleighs, and, thirdly, explorers haven’t eaten each other for decades. Not for decades, Agatha. The field of exploration has come along in leaps and bounds. If twelve-year-old boys can join the expedition, I see no reason why Stella should not.’

  ‘You can’t be serious, Felix. This is too much, even for you. You simply cannot be serious. I won’t believe it.’

  ‘I try not to be serious wherever possible, Agatha, but right now, I don’t think I’ve ever been more serious in my whole life. I’m sorry you wasted your trip. Thank you for coming. Please do have some biscuits or marmalade or something before you go. You’ll forgive me if I don’t stay and chat any longer, though. Stella and I have rather a lot of packing to do.’

  It was the best birthday present Stella could have possibly asked for. Felix left Aunt Agatha fuming in the orangery, and Stella almost tripped over her petticoats as she raced around to meet him back inside the house.

  ‘Did you mean it?’ she asked, throwing her arms around his waist.

  ‘Of course I meant it, sweetling,’ Felix replied. ‘When do I ever say anything I don’t mean?’

  ‘But the rules of the Polar Bear Explorers’ Club are—’

  ‘Never mind about that,’ Felix said. ‘We’ll deal with that when we get there. The important thing right now is to get everything ready so we’re in time to catch the train tomorrow. Can you pack your bits and your bobs by yourself, or would you like me to help?’

  ‘I can do it by myself,’ Stella promised him.

  The rest of the day was spent in a whirlwind of preparation. After making one more futile attempt to talk Felix into her way of thinking, Aunt Agatha had left the house in a huff. Felix gave Stella a big old suitcase covered in faded travel stickers, which was dusty and smelled like mothballs, but Stella thought it was the most perfect suitcase she’d ever seen. She ran around throwing clothes in at random, whilst also trying to work out what else she ought to take with her for a polar expedition.

  She peered into her tiny igloo and saw that the penguins all appeared to be busily packing suitcases too – although, from the looks of it, their packing consisted entirely of smoked fish. Stella wrinkled her nose at the smell and put the igloo carefully down on her bedside table.

  She pulled open the drawer underneath and took out the gold compass Felix had given her for her birthday last year. A proper explorer’s compass didn’t bother with North, South, East and West but could have as many as twenty headings – things like Food, Shelter, Yetis, Water and Angry Gnomes. Stella wasn’t too sure what the Angry Gnome heading was about – she’d never met an angry gnome, or any kind of gnome, come to that, but she fervently hoped she would see one on this expedition, and that it would be positively furious. Stella wanted to see absolutely everything.

  The packing was completed by late afternoon, so Felix took Stella skating on the lake behind the house for an hour before dinner. When they returned home, the cook had prepared all of Stella’s favourite foods – miniature hot dogs, giant pizzas, purple macarons and jelly dragons – for her birthday dinner, which had been set out on the long table in the parlour. A fire blazed in the huge granite fireplace and Gruff snoozed contentedly on the rug in front of it.

  Stella was quite stuffed with food by the time she returned to her bedroom, but when she opened the door she found that the fairies had been in and left her a birthday present as well. Every available surface was covered in magic flowers that glowed in beautiful colours, filling the room with sparkling, shimmering light and, when Stella stroked their petals �
� which smelled deliciously of buttered popcorn – the flowers unfurled themselves to reveal tiny slices of frosted birthday cake, candyfloss-pink, all in the shape of little unicorns.

  Stella found she had a bit more room left after all, because she ate all the unicorn cakes before getting into bed, quite sure that she was far too excited to sleep. Her tummy felt like it was full of fluttering butterflies at the thought of going on the expedition with Felix tomorrow. But the excitement of the day had worn her out, and she was asleep before she knew it.

  She woke up early the next morning, though, and scrambled straight out of bed, practically trembling with anticipation as she changed out of her pyjamas and into a white travelling dress with star-shaped buttons, a fur-lined hood and extra long cuffs to keep out the snow.

  An hour later, Stella’s unicorn, Magic, was harnessed to their sleigh ready to take them to the train station, with all their luggage strapped on the back. Stella and Felix put on their thickest travelling cloaks, lined with the warmest yeti wool, and settled into a pile of furs and blankets in the sleigh. The household staff had been left with detailed instructions regarding the care of Gruff and the pygmy dinosaurs, and so there was nothing more left to do except set off for the station. Mr Pash, the head groom, climbed up into the driver’s seat, gave a flick of the reins – and then Magic was trotting forwards and the sleigh was gliding along, the blades singing over the snow, the house getting smaller and smaller behind them.

  CHAPTER THREE

  The Polar Bear Explorers’ Club was located in Coldgate – the furthest point of civilization before the Icelands took over – and the fastest way to get there was by sea. Soon after disembarking the train that afternoon, Stella found herself stood on the docks staring up at the most gigantic ship she had ever seen. Granted, that wasn’t too difficult given that she’d only ever seen tiny ones printed in the corners of maps, but even so – this was an absolute monster that towered over all the other ships in the harbour. A beautiful mermaid figurehead rose up along the prow, and there was a name painted on the side in great, looping letters: The Bold Adventurer.